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In a recent thread, I was asked what gamers actually get from all this.
Great question, indeed. What is so great about game? I'll tell you right now, if you're only in it for the sex, you are going into game for all the wrong reasons. Like any discipline, game is about ego destruction through commitment to a path. You may choose that nampa is not the path for you. You may choose to sit in a cave for ten years instead, or do yoga, or even something like martial arts. But the ultimate noble path of all of these leads the same place. So I'll talk a bit about how this all, specifically Buddhism, has to do with game.
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Game is the poor man’s therapy. Most of us come into game carrying a ton of negative or unhelpful beliefs. Through constant right action, reflection, and feedback from girls along the way, we shed much of these beliefs, leaving us more open to new experiences, less judgmental, less negative, and more finely attuned to the deep needs and sense of purpose in both yourself and the women you come into contact with.
When I started gaming I was very much tossed around by the currents of my thoughts. Something bad would happen or a girl would give me a negative response and I felt crushed. When a girl said “kakkoi” or gave me her LINE I would feel elated and jump around, giddy. This led to feeling like a tiny ship being thrown around by a huge storm. The highs were awesome, but the lows were terrible. I still miss this feeling of ups and downs, it is certainly nostalgic.
The reason for feeling tossed around by the waves of emotion and feeling pain and suffering are two-fold. In Buddhism there are two causes of suffering. These are Upadana, or attachment and Tanha, or craving. Today I will be looking at both of these forms in relation to game.
Within attachment, or clinging, there are four kinds:
1. sense-pleasure clinging
This type of clinging is clinging to women with whom you have had sex. In the context of game, it most commonly means attachment to girls who are your regulars or girlfriends, and abandonment of the noble path (gamers “disappearing” after getting a girlfriend). Note that having a girlfriend or even being monogamous isn’t inherently bad. However, clinging to the provider of sense-pleasure is. In other words, if you are with her because she provides sex and sex is pleasurable, that isn’t right action or walking the path.
2. wrong-view clinging
This type of clinging refers to clinging onto beliefs or patterns of thought which are negative, unhelpful, and misleading. For example, “I can’t pull a girl if I say the word ‘house’”. “I can’t pull from X venue.”
3. rites and rituals clinging
This type of clinging in game refers to the idea that ONLY mastering of external behaviors, routines, tricks, lines, logistics, etc will lead to ultimate game success. Gamers who cling in this manner are always looking for a “quick fix” or a particular way to overcome a certain objection, or more generally “how to get that one girl”. They fail to see the larger picture and how success is predicated on their own deep, core-level change.
4. self-doctrine clinging
This type of clinging assumes that you have a permanent self. This manifests in game in the being unsure you are able to change or improve. You feel set in your ways and don’t think game could ever work for you. This also encompasses (especially at the intermediate level) having a “set” form of game, doing things the same way every time, and failing to improve. To move past this stage of clinging the gamer is encouraged to destroy their routine behaviors and constantly experiment.
Within craving, there are three types:
1. Sense craving
This type of craving produces behavior that focuses entirely on sex and sexual fulfillment, without regard for the woman as a person. In short, the gamer views women as objects who are mere holders of the source of their own sexual release, rather than independent creatures with their own thoughts and values. In short, this is seen as craving sex and sex alone as the goal of pickup. The way to overcome this is by thinking about things from the woman's perspective and thinking about what her best interests are, even if that means losing the girl.
2. Craving to be
This form of craving has to do with reputation and esteem. The gamer craves, perhaps more than the girl in front of him or walking the path itself, to be seen as being “good at game”. The gamer is more concerned about his outward appearance to girls and peers alike, and would prefer the girl to know he is “sexworthy” or “good with chicks” rather than actually get the girl. In a isolated scenario where the gamer can choose two options - one being, have sex with his ideal girl but everyone thinks he banged a fatty, or bang a fatty but have everyone think he banged a supermodel, he would choose the second option.
3. Craving not to be
This form of craving is quite simply, craving of rest (or craving never to start). Craving not to walk the path anymore. Craving to sit in bed and watch Youtube or porn or mindless net surfing or video games. This is also known as craving COMFORT. The gamer is disheartened and does not want to experience more ego pain, so he examines other options. This may result in the gamer taking a break from the game, focusing on other things, etc. Note that not gaming is not necessarily bad, the key here is that the gamer is running away from his demons instead of confronting them.
The way through the “Abyss” of game, as Dorian Gray described it, is to continually watch for and remove yourself from these forms of attachment and craving, and continue following the North star compass of right action.
Ultimately the end result of crossing the Abyss (Da’at) is a total lack of attachment and craving. You continue to follow right action and pursue women, but they no longer affect you strongly either positively or negatively. In some ways you may feel jaded or disinterested, but in others you are supremely focused on aligning your own and her spiritual interests. You feel much the same whether you have sex with a girl or whether she completely blows you out - your esteem is not affected, and you honestly CAN take it or leave it. You are completely non-judgmental with girls and no longer feel affected if they flake on your date or don’t want to have sex with you. Put simply, you’ve become a rock in the storm. The world may try to throw you for a loop by splashing you with positive and negative experiences, but your own self-opinion and self-worth is unaffected.
You can handle criticism and personal attacks without getting sucked into them. Rather than descending to the level of your attackers, you instead try to bring everybody up to the best of your ability. You surround yourself with and attract positivity. You notice that you seem to attract higher and higher quality of women, both physically and, critically, mentally. You do not judge women with issues, instead you find they simply do not latch onto you as often. Instead you are surrounded by high quality women with strong values and self-esteem which match your own, even when expending less and less effort, almost as if by magic. You notice this one every level as well, not merely with women. The quality of your problems increases, as does the quality of your social circle. Men of power and value see your own merit and allow you into your circle.
In the end, you realize that the only thing holding you back the whole time was various mental barriers and forms of attachment and craving. You come to a spiritual peace with the world.
So once again, if nampa isn't the path for you that's fine. But I would suggest committing to A path of your choosing and putting in the hard work, sweat, tears, and enduring the monumental amount of ego pain you'll go through on whatever path you may choose. The alternative - not sticking with anything and not putting your ego out there (also known as the path of comfort) - is highly unattractive and unsatisfying in the long run.
I'm a bit curious as to what other pick-up artists on here gain from this other than sex and self-confidence: I suppose some of them turn into FWB? Because it seems that the effort spent on hours of trying to pick up chicks is much higher compared to the actual reward. But if you're finding people with whom you feel a strong connection with, like Sinapse mentioned, then I can understand the practice. If it wasn't culturally abnormal for a woman to do the same, it would definitely be fun to have a go at it
Great question, indeed. What is so great about game? I'll tell you right now, if you're only in it for the sex, you are going into game for all the wrong reasons. Like any discipline, game is about ego destruction through commitment to a path. You may choose that nampa is not the path for you. You may choose to sit in a cave for ten years instead, or do yoga, or even something like martial arts. But the ultimate noble path of all of these leads the same place. So I'll talk a bit about how this all, specifically Buddhism, has to do with game.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Game is the poor man’s therapy. Most of us come into game carrying a ton of negative or unhelpful beliefs. Through constant right action, reflection, and feedback from girls along the way, we shed much of these beliefs, leaving us more open to new experiences, less judgmental, less negative, and more finely attuned to the deep needs and sense of purpose in both yourself and the women you come into contact with.
When I started gaming I was very much tossed around by the currents of my thoughts. Something bad would happen or a girl would give me a negative response and I felt crushed. When a girl said “kakkoi” or gave me her LINE I would feel elated and jump around, giddy. This led to feeling like a tiny ship being thrown around by a huge storm. The highs were awesome, but the lows were terrible. I still miss this feeling of ups and downs, it is certainly nostalgic.
The reason for feeling tossed around by the waves of emotion and feeling pain and suffering are two-fold. In Buddhism there are two causes of suffering. These are Upadana, or attachment and Tanha, or craving. Today I will be looking at both of these forms in relation to game.
Within attachment, or clinging, there are four kinds:
1. sense-pleasure clinging
This type of clinging is clinging to women with whom you have had sex. In the context of game, it most commonly means attachment to girls who are your regulars or girlfriends, and abandonment of the noble path (gamers “disappearing” after getting a girlfriend). Note that having a girlfriend or even being monogamous isn’t inherently bad. However, clinging to the provider of sense-pleasure is. In other words, if you are with her because she provides sex and sex is pleasurable, that isn’t right action or walking the path.
2. wrong-view clinging
This type of clinging refers to clinging onto beliefs or patterns of thought which are negative, unhelpful, and misleading. For example, “I can’t pull a girl if I say the word ‘house’”. “I can’t pull from X venue.”
3. rites and rituals clinging
This type of clinging in game refers to the idea that ONLY mastering of external behaviors, routines, tricks, lines, logistics, etc will lead to ultimate game success. Gamers who cling in this manner are always looking for a “quick fix” or a particular way to overcome a certain objection, or more generally “how to get that one girl”. They fail to see the larger picture and how success is predicated on their own deep, core-level change.
4. self-doctrine clinging
This type of clinging assumes that you have a permanent self. This manifests in game in the being unsure you are able to change or improve. You feel set in your ways and don’t think game could ever work for you. This also encompasses (especially at the intermediate level) having a “set” form of game, doing things the same way every time, and failing to improve. To move past this stage of clinging the gamer is encouraged to destroy their routine behaviors and constantly experiment.
Within craving, there are three types:
1. Sense craving
This type of craving produces behavior that focuses entirely on sex and sexual fulfillment, without regard for the woman as a person. In short, the gamer views women as objects who are mere holders of the source of their own sexual release, rather than independent creatures with their own thoughts and values. In short, this is seen as craving sex and sex alone as the goal of pickup. The way to overcome this is by thinking about things from the woman's perspective and thinking about what her best interests are, even if that means losing the girl.
2. Craving to be
This form of craving has to do with reputation and esteem. The gamer craves, perhaps more than the girl in front of him or walking the path itself, to be seen as being “good at game”. The gamer is more concerned about his outward appearance to girls and peers alike, and would prefer the girl to know he is “sexworthy” or “good with chicks” rather than actually get the girl. In a isolated scenario where the gamer can choose two options - one being, have sex with his ideal girl but everyone thinks he banged a fatty, or bang a fatty but have everyone think he banged a supermodel, he would choose the second option.
3. Craving not to be
This form of craving is quite simply, craving of rest (or craving never to start). Craving not to walk the path anymore. Craving to sit in bed and watch Youtube or porn or mindless net surfing or video games. This is also known as craving COMFORT. The gamer is disheartened and does not want to experience more ego pain, so he examines other options. This may result in the gamer taking a break from the game, focusing on other things, etc. Note that not gaming is not necessarily bad, the key here is that the gamer is running away from his demons instead of confronting them.
The way through the “Abyss” of game, as Dorian Gray described it, is to continually watch for and remove yourself from these forms of attachment and craving, and continue following the North star compass of right action.
Ultimately the end result of crossing the Abyss (Da’at) is a total lack of attachment and craving. You continue to follow right action and pursue women, but they no longer affect you strongly either positively or negatively. In some ways you may feel jaded or disinterested, but in others you are supremely focused on aligning your own and her spiritual interests. You feel much the same whether you have sex with a girl or whether she completely blows you out - your esteem is not affected, and you honestly CAN take it or leave it. You are completely non-judgmental with girls and no longer feel affected if they flake on your date or don’t want to have sex with you. Put simply, you’ve become a rock in the storm. The world may try to throw you for a loop by splashing you with positive and negative experiences, but your own self-opinion and self-worth is unaffected.
You can handle criticism and personal attacks without getting sucked into them. Rather than descending to the level of your attackers, you instead try to bring everybody up to the best of your ability. You surround yourself with and attract positivity. You notice that you seem to attract higher and higher quality of women, both physically and, critically, mentally. You do not judge women with issues, instead you find they simply do not latch onto you as often. Instead you are surrounded by high quality women with strong values and self-esteem which match your own, even when expending less and less effort, almost as if by magic. You notice this one every level as well, not merely with women. The quality of your problems increases, as does the quality of your social circle. Men of power and value see your own merit and allow you into your circle.
In the end, you realize that the only thing holding you back the whole time was various mental barriers and forms of attachment and craving. You come to a spiritual peace with the world.
So once again, if nampa isn't the path for you that's fine. But I would suggest committing to A path of your choosing and putting in the hard work, sweat, tears, and enduring the monumental amount of ego pain you'll go through on whatever path you may choose. The alternative - not sticking with anything and not putting your ego out there (also known as the path of comfort) - is highly unattractive and unsatisfying in the long run.
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