New here, will be in Tokyo in September, want to hook up

[Frenchy]

I get paid a living wage and have all my expenses covered to come in at 7am, yell at my workers for a bit and then jump back in my company vehicle and head back to my secondary office, where I will have a snack, surf Amazon for a bit, perhaps rub one out if I get really bored and then take a nap...but not before stopping at Costco and charging a bunch of shit on my company card (today will be three bottles of vodka). Accounting clerk never questions my purchases because I can fire her. Everyone else just avoids me.

I'd complain but who'd listen?

Starting work at 7am?! Ugggh . Gross!

 

[Frenchy]

I have found a couple of masseuses who are willing to boldly go where no man has ever gone".

... except for the taxman. Figuratively at least

 

[Frenchy]

I mean would you rather lick a dark butthole or a bleached one?

The most decisive factor would be whether its a really clean one.

 

[warubuta]

I get paid a living wage and have all my expenses covered to come in at 7am, yell at my workers for a bit and then jump back in my company vehicle and head back to my secondary office, where I will have a snack, surf Amazon for a bit, perhaps rub one out if I get really bored and then take a nap...but not before stopping at Costco and charging a bunch of shit on my company card (today will be three bottles of vodka). Accounting clerk never questions my purchases because I can fire her. Everyone else just avoids me.

I'd complain but who'd listen?

Sorry to hear you don’t have a driver and you have to buy your vodka at Costco.

 

[Keihan]

Sorry to hear you don’t have a driver and you have to buy your vodka at Costco.

Hey, now...there are reasons! I could force my elderly assistant to drive me around, but she can barely handle answering phone calls. That, and there'd be someone to rat me out about where I often go during work hours. I mean, she's not terribly bright but forcing her to drop me off at an infamous "business plaza" downtown and wait in the car for 90 minutes and then I come back all smiles and smelling like really girly soap...even she'll figure it out, eventually.

And don't knock the Costco liquor! That Kirkland fake Grey Goose and the six-times-distilled swill from Maker's Mark is good shit with some soda water and a lime wedge. I convince myself that sticking to cheap vodka is better than crawling back to my fancy single malt scotch, or worse...Jameson's. That shit inspires nothing but pure evil, lost nights and beat-off sessions that end in tears and self-hatred in sad little wads of Kleenex.

 

[MikeH]

I mean would you rather lick a dark butthole or a bleached one?

If you don't lick a butthole then you are a one.

 

[MikeH]

I convince myself that sticking to cheap vodka is better than crawling back to my fancy single malt scotch, or worse...Jameson's.

The only Jameson worth doing is Jenna.

 

[Sudsy]

The only Jameson worth doing is Jenna.

She was looking pretty rough for a while, but she's got her health back under control and is looking pretty damned good for a 45 year old.

 

[MikeH]

She was looking pretty rough for a while, but she's got her health back under control and is looking pretty damned good for a 45 year old.

Yeah, both the fall and the come back were pretty amazing and fast.

 

[Simonka]

Yeah, both the fall and the come back were pretty amazing and fast.

Well it’s called having an IVF Treatment to conceive
But yeah she has a very nice physique now. Bodies can change.

 

[MikeH]

Well it’s called having an IVF Treatment to conceive

Oh, didn't know that. I don't really follow anyone's life outside their work, so I don't know what my favourite sport or porn stars do. I am only concentrating on their on-the-screen work.

But yeah she has a very nice physique now. Bodies can change.

I know that better than most. I went from a skinny tall university nerd to a fat old bastard in no time!

My weight graph was going harder up than the stock price of an internet start-up in the late nineties.

 

[Simonka]

I know that better than most. I went from a skinny tall university nerd to a fat old bastard in no time!

My weight graph was going harder up than the stock price of an internet start-up in the late nineties.

As long as you’re not constrained to riding a Walmart cart, I don’t mind a couple of extra pounds

 

[MikeH]

As long as you’re not constrained to riding a Walmart cart, I don’t mind a couple of extra pounds

That's why it is so much better to be a guy than a girl. The girls are way less judgemental than guys. A guy would go "She is so fat I couldn't count all her ribs".

Meanwhile actual quotes from girls: "I wouldn't have slept with you if you were skinny", "muscular guys are great to look at but when fucking hard it is much better when the guy has some buffer", and my favourite "I don't mind if you get fat, but if you get bald don't call me anymore".

Of course there might be a selection bias there; girls who like the starved looking ones don't talk to me in the first place.

 

[axenic]

What's your level of Japanese? If none, forget it. If you can manage day-to-day level conversant Japanese, you'd have options that fit all of your requirements