Newbie in many regards

User#52700

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Hello all,

I just posted a review for Robo Deli that’s awaiting approval and got referred to this intro page.

The review when approved will talk about this, but I’m a really inexperienced guy sexually who has trouble cumming whenever with a partner. I’m on a quest to find the lady skilled enough to make me pop.
 
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Sounds like death grip syndrome if you have been masturbating to porn for a long period of time.

Try to stop masturbating with your hand and look into buying a Fleshlight, Tenga, and use lots of lube/lotion.

Also try to take more time off between sessions of "fun time".

I am not a doctor so I am only speaking from personal experience.

Quick Google Search:

Death Grip Syndrome
 
Thanks, that’s gotta be it. Maybe not so much about how hard I squeeze but where. I got this weird 3 finger technique involving the glans and frenulum that gets me off reliably, phone in hand watching some AV. Been doing this for years and never imagined that not being able to go would become a problem.

Also as an uncut guy my glans is super sensitive to the point where it can hurt and that really sets me back. Gotta get used to a bit more friction it seems, because when I use a tenga, the pop is way more intense, like from the bottom of my abs rising up to my chest intense. Hard to explain but probably already TMI. Circumcision I hear can help I hear but fuuuuck that knife on my penis noise.

I may need to start considering finding a girl who will let me finish in her after some self play in the meantime…
 
Thanks, that’s gotta be it. Maybe not so much about how hard I squeeze but where. I got this weird 3 finger technique involving the glans and frenulum that gets me off reliably, phone in hand watching some AV. Been doing this for years and never imagined that not being able to go would become a problem.

also try "no fap" for a week or more

Circumcision I hear can help I hear but fuuuuck that knife on my penis noise.

i didn't have a choice in my country (and religion) it was a 'rite of passage to manhood" .. at least i got the pain killers and a trained person did the cutting!

in some areas boys chew on some medicinal leaf, while another person (not medically trained) slices at the foreskin .. the concoction in the boys mouth is then spat on the penis.
 
I’ve been coping with Death Grip Syndrome as well, and am too lazy to use a toy but have had improvement through significant decrease in masturbation (twice a week maximum.)

I’ve found it more effective to slow down my motions and use as little force as possible, often switching hands when I approach orgasm. It can be frustrating, it doing what you’re used to doing is the biggest issue.

Also, I completely abandoned porn. The images and satiety that arise from seeing what you want to see completely ruins the excitement of being pleasured by a beautiful woman. If you need to spank the most you can do for fantasy is maybe an image or picture, but most preferable to recall memories of sessions wherein you’re the protagonist.
 
Cutting out porn is a tough one! Looks there’s a lotta experiencing and searching to do my little one and I.
 
Or baked pastries if you're that way inclined.
And also as this is Japan…. 😉

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Cutting out porn is a tough one! Looks there’s a lotta experiencing and searching to do my little one and I.

...if you can't cut out porn completely, switch to VR porn instead of regular one......feels at least a little more like the real thing instead of watching other people fuck 😅
 
...if you can't cut out porn completely, switch to VR porn instead of regular one......feels at least a little more like the real thing instead of watching other people fuck 😅
Studies have shown that VR porn is the worst thing you can do if you want to avoid ED etc caused by porn. It’s like a spinal tap of sexual crack in intensity. Far better to downgrade to porn mags or images (the more softcore the better), if you can’t give it up.
 
Studies have shown that VR porn is the worst thing you can do if you want to avoid ED etc caused by porn. It’s like a spinal tap of sexual crack in intensity. Far better to downgrade to porn mags or images (the more softcore the better), if you can’t give it up.

Haha, probably true. I didn't know there were studies done. Maybe the sensory overload is even worse.....just thought the closeups and 3rd person perspective of regular porn drives everything in an even more artificial direction.

I think we can agree that to much exposure to porn has negative effects....sometimes you have to fall back to it, but keep it to a minimum.
 
I was actually the same as you when I had my first soapland experience (I had been abstaining for more than two weeks at that time). So frustrated that I went a second time that afternoon, without any success at the end💰

I don't know how many times you're planning to go, but I found that edging myself right before the experience helped me the first few times and by the end of the trip, I had no more need to do that.

The girl whose review I have pending also came up with the idea of putting some towels under my butt when riding me. I had not been able to finish the classical way with her at all (over several visits) but it took mere seconds after she implemented it :unsure:
 
I’ve jerked to a lot of fucked up manga which I guess I should quit too. Sears catalogues(?) only from now on. Y’all are an inspiration 🥺

Sadly got a real bad sore throat the day after play time with the last provider I used so had to cancel my plans to try a new place in Shibuya (not even sure they’d take foreigners). Hope to be back in good health next week as it’s the only time I have for about a month.
 
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I booked another girl from robo deli for a longer course this time and will try edging just a bit.
Gotta be careful, though, because this reminds me, this actually wasn’t my first real p4p. When I first visited Japan almost a decade ago, Tokyo New Hot Point was all the craze and I remember popping by accident into my hand during the “peep show” part before the girl got around to servicing me 🤣😂😭 not confident I could get it up for a second round so fast, I awkwardly motioned to leave after already having paid which probably confused the hell out of the girl and tencho. That was quite the walk of shame, as I was a total virgin.
That popping early probably caused me to practice edging all these years as an overcorrection lmao.
 
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I’ve jerked to a lot of fucked up manga which I guess I should quit too. Sears catalogues(?) only from now on. Y’all are an inspiration 🥺

Yeah, stay away from fucked up shit. This is a downward spiral that will only affect your sex life negatively 👍
 
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Another thing that helps - and it sucks cause you might end up wasting a session or ten - is pay attention to what you are focusing on while in your session.

In some cases, I would find myself closing my eyes to try and enjoy the sensation more, but taking away visual stimulation actually deprives you of some of the excitement you need to get off. I honestly think this is a side effect of watching porn and wanting to see that "angle" or "situation" that makes me excited had me anticipating too much and feeling less excited than I really naturally should be. Next, breathing and heart rate. If you are pounding away and you feel like your heart is about to explode out of your chest, you're probably pushing yourself harder than you can handle to reach ejaculation. I've found I would get to that breaking point and the poor physical condition I am in would interrupt me, leaving me a huffing and puffing horny mess without enough blood flowing to my penis to stay hard and I would get embarrassed and start apologizing and shit. (Hell, as I am writing this I am even realizing more things that have been hampering me for years of late besides death grip, porn, and bad pacing.)

Lastly, trying to get your provider to make those iconic sex positions that you've seen is at times just unreasonable. For instance, I love reverse cowgirl, as I think it looks hot from any and all angles; however, I have met many providers who dislike or even hate the position because of the awkward angle and the need to have Greek goddess strength calf muscles to be able to slam her ass down fast enough so that I can ejaculate that way. I have only found one in my entire time here and unfortunately she has quit the game.

So what HAS been working, in fact, is keeping my eyes open and maintaining a pace I can handle in positions two people can handle with a patient provider. I used to hate spooning and always skipped it when watching porn, but I have a newfound love for it and the amount of control it gives in what also is surprisingly a very intimate position. Of course I enjoy decorating my providers with my passion primer after all of that excitement, but a change of pace to try other things helps keep the game fresh in my mind and fantasies fulfilled.
 
In some cases, I would find myself closing my eyes to try and enjoy the sensation more, but taking away visual stimulation actually deprives you of some of the excitement you need to get off. I honestly think this is a side effect of watching porn and wanting to see that "angle" or "situation" that makes me excited had me anticipating too much and feeling less excited than I really naturally should be. .
I do all this too 😣.

Sadly, my review wasn’t included in this recent batch, but my first experience with robo deli was positive despite not popping off. It was fun to just lie back and relax without feeling the pressure of feeling like I “needed” to come to show the girl it felt good. It was sadly a pressure I put on myself with my last gf, who was amazingly patient with me.. I just kept psyching myself out.

I really thought sex was this easy thing people would instinctively know how to do well when the time came, and maybe it is for some but its amazing to hear of others with similar issues I’m facing. I was always afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make the lady cum, not the other way around.

Having pretty much missed sex in my twenties (yes I’m a wizard/fairy) I guess I gotta figure out how to do this from ground zero, no porn. Thanks all of you for the wisdom 🙏 hope to share with you some success. I really have noone to talk to about any of this as I’d probably die or embarrassment and I’m humbled to hear your sincere (and some hilarious) responses.