Another thing that helps - and it sucks cause you might end up wasting a session or ten - is pay attention to what you are focusing on while in your session.
In some cases, I would find myself closing my eyes to try and enjoy the sensation more, but taking away visual stimulation actually deprives you of some of the excitement you need to get off. I honestly think this is a side effect of watching porn and wanting to see that "angle" or "situation" that makes me excited had me anticipating too much and feeling less excited than I really naturally should be. Next, breathing and heart rate. If you are pounding away and you feel like your heart is about to explode out of your chest, you're probably pushing yourself harder than you can handle to reach ejaculation. I've found I would get to that breaking point and the poor physical condition I am in would interrupt me, leaving me a huffing and puffing horny mess without enough blood flowing to my penis to stay hard and I would get embarrassed and start apologizing and shit. (Hell, as I am writing this I am even realizing more things that have been hampering me for years of late besides death grip, porn, and bad pacing.)
Lastly, trying to get your provider to make those iconic sex positions that you've seen is at times just unreasonable. For instance, I love reverse cowgirl, as I think it looks hot from any and all angles; however, I have met many providers who dislike or even hate the position because of the awkward angle and the need to have Greek goddess strength calf muscles to be able to slam her ass down fast enough so that I can ejaculate that way. I have only found one in my entire time here and unfortunately she has quit the game.
So what HAS been working, in fact, is keeping my eyes open and maintaining a pace I can handle in positions two people can handle with a patient provider. I used to hate spooning and always skipped it when watching porn, but I have a newfound love for it and the amount of control it gives in what also is surprisingly a very intimate position. Of course I enjoy decorating my providers with my passion primer after all of that excitement, but a change of pace to try other things helps keep the game fresh in my mind and fantasies fulfilled.