S or M?

Discussion in 'Questions, Answers & Warnings' started by meiji, Oct 13, 2012.

  1. meiji

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    Anyone have a good explanation for what S and M means in terms of Japanese P4P? Unless you are talking about fetish places, it seems to me like:

    S = passive

    and

    M = assertive/aggressive

    If that's the case, they should go with S and D (submissive and dominant).

    You can look at the cast listing for Happy Berry for a number of examples:

    http://www.lr-shinjuku.com/cast/

    Anyone?
     
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    #1 meiji, Oct 13, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2012
  2. fireman

    fireman TAG Member

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    You've got it backwards. S=sadist, M=masochist.
     
  3. meiji

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    Yes, thank you for that unnecessary clarification.

    Again, my question is, since a) sadism and masochism (by the usual definition) refer to inflicting pain or having pain inflicted upon for sexual gratification and b) these Japanese places that refer to S and M do not advertise painful services, what do S and M mean in this case?

    Do they refer to dominance and submission? Do they refer to getting pleasure out of teasing and being teased? Something else?
     
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  4. Narco21

    Narco21 TAG Member

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    Meiji, I think I get what you are asking. It does seem that it has less to do with pain and humiliation, and more to do with who is "in charge". Perhaps an "S" woman will tell you to do things or be more bitchy. And the "M" woman will be more cutesy and a little slow to suggestions but in the end allow you to have your way?

    So I think as a general idea, you are right with the "dominance" and "submission" idea. But there would be a little teasing/being teased mixed in. I definitely don't think there is any of the pain/humiliation thing going on.
     
  5. TokyoSpirit

    TokyoSpirit TAG Member

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    I vote for Narco21's post for the 'right answer' based on what I know about the Japanese system. I'm not terribly well versed on the subject of S&M from a first person point of view. It's not really my cup of tea. :X
     
  6. Shizumaru

    Shizumaru TAG Member

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    Narco is correct. The concept of the words "S" and "M" often do come up during the discussion of one's sexuality in Japan, and they have their root in the English words for "sadism" and "masochism". However, do not take their meanings too literally. "M" simply refers to a person who is more subservient sexually. This can of course range quite a bit and its completely up to personal preference as to what one will and will not do (ie: how much of an M are you?) . Whereas an "S" is a person who tends to be more sexually dominating and demanding. Considering the limitations of Japanese deriheru, I don't think this really means too much outside of the girl's personality, but, then again, whatever happens behind closed doors behind two adults...
     
    #6 Shizumaru, Oct 15, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2012
  7. User#1832

    User#1832 TAG Member

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    +1 to narco and shizumaru. I have heard it come up in some rather innocent conversations just as a way to describe personality...as a tendency everyone is on either the S or M side of a line.

    Just another convenient way to describe people...like blood type.
     
  8. fireman

    fireman TAG Member

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    "Assertive" and "submissive" are pretty good translations, I'd say.

    I heard a Japanese guy once explain that you can tell whether someone is "S" or "M" by holding out your fist, thumb up, and inviting them to rest their chin on top of it. If they are hesitant to do so, they are "M." If they do it and look you in the eyes the whole time, they are "S." Fun diversion at mixed-gender drinking parties.
     
  9. meiji

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    Thanks for the info, all.

    Interesting concept, fireman. :)

    I wonder if they went with S and M instead of D and S because "D" (dee) is a little less common linguistically and/or don't sound similar the way 'essu' and 'emmu' do.

    I explained what masochism was to this Japanese woman I dated several years back (in the context of workaholism -- "I'm just a masochist when it comes to work", not in sexual terms). I wonder if she would have gotten a different idea about me if she connected that with the whole 'S' and 'M' thing...
     
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  10. PluckyDuck

    PluckyDuck TAG Member

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    wow look at the girls on that site! many of them do not have censored pictures.. does this mean that the pics are likely to be accurate and not fake ones of models or porn stars many Japanese sites tend to use? the rates also seem quite high.
     
  11. meiji

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    I can't speak from personal experience, but from the reviews I've read here and on ISG, the pictures are accurate. The rates for the shorter courses seem pretty reasonable to me, even compared to normal Japanese DH places, and it looks like the prices drop some the more times you go
     
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  12. PluckyDuck

    PluckyDuck TAG Member

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    do you know if they do FS or is it a girl to girl thing?
     
  13. psd

    psd TAG Member

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    Good question, I've wondered about this and from context I've thought a similar thing. I hear people innocently asking others if they're S or M. I think S&M types are considered to be depraved by most people and it certainly isn't a dichotomy.

    I wouldn't necessary use the term dominant and submissive, even that's a bit strong. I'd go with active and passive.
     
  14. psd

    psd TAG Member

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    ps, I can vouch for the accuracy of the photos. No they don't do FS. You need good Japanese, including reading ability to get in.
     
  15. Shizumaru

    Shizumaru TAG Member

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    Like most healths, Happy Verry will strongly deny that FS is provided. Due to Japanese law it is illegal to make the claim the FS is on the menu, however your mileage can always vary, as what happens behind closed doors between two adults is under the consent of two adults, isn't it? Reading reviews in both Japanese and English, it seems entirely like a mixed bag and pretty much up to the girl if she "feels" like it. She's not obligated to...
     
  16. PluckyDuck

    PluckyDuck TAG Member

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    since they offer "AF", I always assumed if the girl chosen to do AF, she may very well be willing to offer entry into the front door.
     

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