Stories of a time past: Former Jobs


Mistress of the Night
Executive Leadership
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Sep 24, 2009
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New thread theme! You boys ready?! :p:p:p

I was thinking back to some of my former jobs and thought I'd share some of the crazy stories from years ago. Feel free to jump in and share your brush with morons or that crazy year you spent in retail!

So, first up: In the computer, we trust!

My former boss at the post office used to bring in donuts for Saturday's, her hubby sometimes would bring in breakfast foods, and if your car won't start she would sometimes pick you up so that you can get to work. That and when we're going to be out late, she may grumble but she won't yell at us.

But this one time, my boss got screwed and we all got reemed at the post office I used to work at. Strangely tho only through a e-mail and a *important* memo...

We were getting yelled at because our MSP (managed service point) scans were off and we were just itching to get our routes added to. The only problem was when the boss pulled up our scan times and printed them out. Then I noticed something odd, how are we supposed to be back in the office before we scan our last point?

Ah! There it is, those idiots higher up the management ladder never had readjusted for our earlier start and end time. So our first scan till the one BEFORE our last scan were a half hour off which would constantly put us a half hour over or under the scheduled scan time.

The times were put through a forced update and many of us had to scramble in the morning to get our parcels, flats, letters, spurs, and accountable items earlier...when some of those things still aren't ready for us till later because of when FedEx will do a drop ship.

(FedEx is a different story and since it caused trouble here will remain only hinted at.)

These were the same idiots who expect a branch closed on Saturday's to bring in $3,000 worth of business.

Again... all because the all-knowing computer said so. Idiot information in, idiot information out.

<3 K.
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Cake said:
These were the same idiots who expect a branch closed on Saturday's to bring in $3,000 worth of business.

habbidah-what? how the heck is a CLOSED branch supposed to bring in ANY kind of business? isn't that pretty much the point of being closed?:confused:
The hell you say? You actually did work?

I don't fucking believe it! :eek:
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I have a short one from a few years ago when I was briefly working for a cable company.

Why do cable modems have a standby button?

This button is useless i have no clue why the majority of the modems have a standby button. I used to get about 10 calls a day with nothing but that same issue. It makes me wonder if its for people with paranoia that fear the government or hackers will just creep up on them and spy on them watching porn or something. Just a thought, haha.

Oh, one more: (from a long time ago)

Kid: Mom, Where does this man work? (Points to me)
Kid's Mother: He works here.
Kid: But this is a shop...
Kid's Mother: Yes, some people work in shops. I guess he is a student working to pay tuition for school.
Me: And pay for all my computer stuff *smiles at the kid*
Kid: Oh...but he can’t be at work!
Kid's Mother: Why not?!
Kid: He’s Happy!

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After thinking about this thread a bit, I have started to realize my age. :(

Well, I'll add to the thread with a little side story!

A therapist friend of mine had an issue with her email program. I of course well aware that she could have confidential info (patient data) stored inside. To diagnose the problem I don't necessarily need to sit down in front of her computer, but I do need to know some basic support information. What version of what program, was she doing anything else when the problem occurs, any errors, etc. I do not need to know anything about the contents of the mailbox, as it's clear that is irrelevant.

"It's Eudora on a Mac."

...yes, I know you use Eudora on a Mac. That doesn't tell me about the actual problem.

"I don't want people looking at my emails."

I didn't say I would need to read your emails (you know I would never have done that anyway). I need to know what's wrong!

"It doesn't work."

What doesn't work?

"I don't want people reading my emails."

I understand you could have confidential stuff on there. I need to know what's wrong so I can determine if it is fixable by a verbal walk-through, or if I have to make a house call.

"Can't you fix it without me telling you that stuff?" (translation: I have no idea what you are asking, but I'm too paranoid to let you sit down at my computer to get what you need.)

Christ.... If you don't want anyone else using your computer, how come you've let other "techs" try to fix this problem (in which the only result was that things got screwed up even more)?

I know you want me to do "strategic volunteering". But I need to charge cash money for anything even remotely complex. It's a hell of a lot less than what "the other guy" (who from what I can see got his A+ from a cereal box) charges and I happen to know you are not poor. You're not "saving money" by paying the cheap guy to do the same repairs over and over.

In the end... I gave up and last I had heard, it was a bi-weekly cycle for when she would call for help. God forbid what would happen when her machine actually dies. It will happen, it's just a matter of when! I hope I am far, far away!

lol @ that kid! Hahahaha!

That's probably so true for a good majority of the world. I love the innocent kids who just speak exactly how they feel with no brain-to-mouth filter. lol.

@E, I used to help friends every so often, but it really turned into a huge headache. So, now I play dumb when it comes to computer stuff, no matter what the issue is. Screw it... love my friends but I am not their tech support lifeline. :eek:
Not sure if this kind of things you had in mind when started this thread, but here is one, maybe two from the near past in the magical place called Papua New Guinea.

As the current local spring water commercial says: "The country also described as, primitive, beautiful, untouched virgin environment!"

Well I do agree with the first two. Especially the first bit. The last, not so much.

Anyway, the story...

Happened in Lae city, Morobe Province about three years ago. Colleague of mine ran the joinery shop. Lots of workers. Some operating milling machine, some drills, or grovers. All noisy as hell.

As usual, every now and then PNg Power fails to deliver basic service and power goes out for hours. Black out!

Today is the same. Around 10 am power cuts out. All machine stops. Everyone stops. Including the boys using sandpaper on a block of wood, by hand.

Manager shouts at them: - Why the you stopped?
Brave worker: - Bossman, its a black out! :D

Similar thing, but a bit more serious.

Same bloke got held up on the road of Lae. Common thing over here. Just take some time to get used to it.

He - being here long enough - knows not to stop, but rather try and run them over. That usually teaches them to stay away from this particular car.

As he steers his car towards the rascals, he only managed to hit one, and only by running over his feet with one wheel.

Next day, the ran-over rascal and his whole family showed up at the office, to ask for compensation.

Manager: - What do you want?
Rascal: - We want compensation!
Manager: - For what?
Rascal: - You broke my leg (feet) with your car, and I can't provide my family now!
Manager: - I only hit one guy recently, and that was trying to hold me up yesterday.
Rascal: - Yes, thats me. But you hit me, and now I can't hold up anyone. i can't buy food for my family.
Manager: - Hang on, let me call my friend. (He calls Police Task Force Lieutenant Paul)

After the phone call...

Manager: - That was my friend Lieutenant Paul. He said he is on his way with his men, and he will give you your compensation at the Police Station. Just wait until he gets here.

Needless to say, the family disappeared very quickly and never to be seen again. :)

They will always try and get money out of you, either way. :)

Welcome to Paradise! :D
Ahh... Almost forgot! My favourite commute in Lae, back then, when I worked worked as Batching Plant Manager 9 mile out of town. Hold ups every day. I was lucky enough to have only six in three years. Not one successful, I must add. :)

Why? This is why! I rather hit them, than let them hit me!

If you don't understand what we saying in the car, that is because I speak Hungarian. ;)