Thinking of going open-relationship

[majimekun]

Not sure my GF will like the idea for real between us but she wasn't judgemental at all when I talked to her about a guy know who's just doing that with his wife.

Anyway, who here is in such a relationship?

Since I'm paranoid about STDs, I'd probably want to do a semi-open relationship, I mean dating/kissing allowed outside but sex restricted between me and my girfriend.

 

[Misslorena]

I'm in an open marriage. And I have some pointers

You have to approach things with tact, even if you think she will be cool with it. Being open minded and wanting an open relationship are two very different things.

I was upfront since the beginning and told him what I liked and wanted, and while he is new at it he is willing to learn and I've been patient and understanding, something you will both have to do.

Communicate well and set boundaries and rules, this is very important. If she agrees to try, discuss what you would like and dislike,

I recommend you start small: go to a swinger club together just to watch, talk to other couples that are going through it and ask all the questions you need to ask.

Open without FS is usually called a soft exchange. It's fair and possible but hard to keep up since people have expectations. Also jealousy can be a real problem so be ready for it.

Good luck!

 

[Lukes]

Since I'm paranoid about STDs, I'd probably want to do a semi-open relationship, I mean dating/kissing allowed outside but sex restricted between me and my girfriend.

No offense intended but why bother? There's very little to be gained here in exchange for placing such a strain on your relationship. And really, I dont see anything in this for your girl unless she's already interested in this sort of thing (sounds like she isn't). In my opinion, if it's an open relationship, it's all or nothing. I've played around in relationships that were informally open before and let me tell you, the pressure to fuck is enormous and somewhere along the line, it's probably going to happen anyway whether you want it to or not.

Another thing - Fear of STDs is a good reason to keep it monogamous. Kissing doesn't eliminate all risk and as I said before, it's hard to keep it to just kissing in the first place. I don't mean to sound overly harsh but I'm a realist and I'm speaking from experience.

 

[DJnLJ]

First, what sort of open relationship are you talking about?

Swinging or both of you being able to simply date other people?

Because if it is dating I think both of you will find it hard to stop at just kissing when alone with other people after a few dates, and they are likely to want and expect more as time goes on.

For swinging, soft swing generally includes oral, and your swing partners are going to expect more than simple kissing and light petting.

I do agree with MissLorena, go to a swing club, see what goes on and talk to people. Be up front that you are curious but not ready to "play" yet and people will talk to you without any pressure. I will tell you this, men normally talk women into swinging, and women generally enjoy it more than the men. Jealousy WILL rear it's ugly head at some point and it is important to have very clear, open, fair conversations about it.

 

[majimekun]

Not interested at all in swinging parties ... and my GF doesn't want an open relationship anyway.
We are still together but in case we separate in the future, I'll have to find a smart way to have multiple partners as safely as possible.