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This is an advanced topic usually not touched on in PUA in this way, but in which single male swingers have to confront to a high level, as they introduce women into the lifestyle.
Was asked over drinks by some pals yesterday, how in the hell do I get women to do wild sexual things. Note- Had just finished up a sexual encounter with a young nurse on our 1st date, who I briefly introduced to them previously, before taking her elsewhere. Actually, I do NOT "get" women to do anything (as if I casted a magic spell on them), the women want to do it. You can't trick a woman out of sex, to include anything kinky. This is something many PUAs fail to understand.
There is no magic secret PUA formula that will make women voluntarily pull off her pants and have sex with you. However, a man can be better at understanding women, to an extent. Even the great Freud failed to totally figure women out, though I have an idea of why that might be. So, I'm talking more specifically, in terms of females embracing their sexuality and sexual nature in comparison to social expectations.
The trick is understanding that many women have a kind of split personality when it comes to sex. This curious phenomenon is different in woman than it is in men, so most men don't understand it. This phenomenon among women is like a combination of cognitive dissonance and plausible deniabilty. I often refer to this as double-mindedness among women. Where a woman has opposite competing impulses and beliefs that causes her to be confused, conflicted, or hypocritical.
They can like sex or have a strong urge to have it, but thinking about or dealing with the subject openly can also cause women psychological discomfort to various degrees. A slew of uncomfortable variables come into play: slut labels, excessively restrictive or prudish parents, fear of pregnancy, possible sexual abuse at a young age, fear of who's watching them and being judged publicly, religious beliefs, etc...
Consequently, women can lie a lot or be very confused about what they really want, because they want to say or do what they THINK is socially acceptable or are struggling with internal feelings of guilt, shame, desire, and physical urges.
Many women can also want to accept little or no accountability for their sexual behavior. As if she was going through life NOT thinking about sex at all, and then a man intercepted her from her "pure path" (as wife, mother (or like a virgin mother), and bearing children only) and pushed sex on her. In other words, it's as if they put the responsibility or blame on men for why they had sex . It's important to be aware of this as a man, because in a way, women give men the "keys to the car". When a man figures out that's what many women are doing, he can start driving a LOT of cars down the track (lots of sex), if he likes. Many men don't realize that whether sex on a date does or doesn't happen, is mostly on them. Women are kind of subconsciously saying, "You figure out how to drive me. I'm just the car sitting here (in a state of confusion). I will go wherever you take me (including blame you for taking me there)."
To get women to be more sexual, men have to help them feel comfortable with being sexual. That is, if you as a man make sexually negative and judgemental comments or even give disapproving looks or facial expressions, you can sexually shut down a woman without realizing it. In this regard, some men can't help themselves, because of: their prudishness, religious beliefs, feeling insecure or intimidated by sexually strong women, or negative thinking about female sexuality.
Even more insidiously, you as a man don't have to say anything or have a particular look. A man can be completely NEUTRAL on a date and many women will STILL stay sexually shut down, because she ASSUMES you will be negative or think her a "slut/bad girl".
Consequently, it's to the advantage of a man to make a deliberate and conscious effort to INDIRECTLY show he is comfortable with a woman being strongly sexual and is trustworthy (as in not tell everybody and responsible).
Do see my threads related to Verbal Sexual Escalation. The trick is to tell 3 or 4 sexually related stories. Best to talk about a 3rd party at first. Each story covering a slightly different point. The stories themselves should be very DIFFERENT from each other, even if the outcome is a bit similar:
1) A story that a friend told you about some sexual activity or fetish he discovered about someone else or his girlfriend. Which was acceptable to him.
2) A story about discovering some sexual activity about a friend or co-worker, but you kept it a SECRET. Showing your trustworthiness.
3) A story about some interesting or unusual sexual activity that you accidentally discovered an ex-girlfriend (from long ago) liked and you were totally fine with. She hid it out of fear of disapproval, and you helped her overcome this fear and approved.
The indirect sexual stories give the subconscious message and hint to women that it's OK to be sexual with YOU or make her feel comfortable about it with you. The more she engages IN the story or adds HER stories to the conversation, the usually more COMFORTABLE this shows she is about having sex with you. And the opposite is usually true to. The more negative and disapproving about the conversation she is, the more uncomfortable she will usually be about having sex with you. Therefore the stories become a LITMUS TEST.
Types Of Women Not Usually Social Acknowledged
. Some women would like or are not against the idea of having sex with you on that date you will go on, but are following social protocol to ACT like a supposedly "good" little girl in front of you.
Note- When a guy becomes more skilled, he can more readily see this type of woman checking him in a "looking for approval type of way", by her facial expression and body language.
Therefore the suppression of their sexual nature is very LIGHT. The right hints and making her comfortable, will allow her sexual self to come out.
. Some women are sexually dysfunctional and have severe psychological or even physiological problems (hormonal, brain, damage of sexual organs) that prevent them from embracing their sexuality. Their problems are too deep for a man to pry her out of her shell, without maximum effort and difficulty. Even taking months, years, or NEVER...
. Then there are women that are various degrees in the middle.
Irregardless of the category of women, the indirect sexual stories allows a man to guage her. The more experience and understanding at doing this (combined with him reading body language and taking women to loations where touching and being romantic is possible) that a man has, the higher percentage of women in the light and middle types that he can have sex with. It's not magic, it's skill and math. Math in the sense of higher probability of sexual outcome per number of dates he goes on.
As for the nurse mentioned at the beginning of the post that my friends were in bar talk awe about, she was the 2nd of 2 new dates, 2 days in a row (see Date Stacking thread). The 1st date with a different woman, the day before went nowhere (at that time), though we may go out again on another day (and it might happen on that day/plus may make a thread about 2nd and 3rd dates), while the next woman was a homerun. Going on more dates = more likely sex will happen and more likely a guy recognizes female verbal and body language clues.
Was asked over drinks by some pals yesterday, how in the hell do I get women to do wild sexual things. Note- Had just finished up a sexual encounter with a young nurse on our 1st date, who I briefly introduced to them previously, before taking her elsewhere. Actually, I do NOT "get" women to do anything (as if I casted a magic spell on them), the women want to do it. You can't trick a woman out of sex, to include anything kinky. This is something many PUAs fail to understand.
There is no magic secret PUA formula that will make women voluntarily pull off her pants and have sex with you. However, a man can be better at understanding women, to an extent. Even the great Freud failed to totally figure women out, though I have an idea of why that might be. So, I'm talking more specifically, in terms of females embracing their sexuality and sexual nature in comparison to social expectations.
The trick is understanding that many women have a kind of split personality when it comes to sex. This curious phenomenon is different in woman than it is in men, so most men don't understand it. This phenomenon among women is like a combination of cognitive dissonance and plausible deniabilty. I often refer to this as double-mindedness among women. Where a woman has opposite competing impulses and beliefs that causes her to be confused, conflicted, or hypocritical.
They can like sex or have a strong urge to have it, but thinking about or dealing with the subject openly can also cause women psychological discomfort to various degrees. A slew of uncomfortable variables come into play: slut labels, excessively restrictive or prudish parents, fear of pregnancy, possible sexual abuse at a young age, fear of who's watching them and being judged publicly, religious beliefs, etc...
Consequently, women can lie a lot or be very confused about what they really want, because they want to say or do what they THINK is socially acceptable or are struggling with internal feelings of guilt, shame, desire, and physical urges.
Many women can also want to accept little or no accountability for their sexual behavior. As if she was going through life NOT thinking about sex at all, and then a man intercepted her from her "pure path" (as wife, mother (or like a virgin mother), and bearing children only) and pushed sex on her. In other words, it's as if they put the responsibility or blame on men for why they had sex . It's important to be aware of this as a man, because in a way, women give men the "keys to the car". When a man figures out that's what many women are doing, he can start driving a LOT of cars down the track (lots of sex), if he likes. Many men don't realize that whether sex on a date does or doesn't happen, is mostly on them. Women are kind of subconsciously saying, "You figure out how to drive me. I'm just the car sitting here (in a state of confusion). I will go wherever you take me (including blame you for taking me there)."
To get women to be more sexual, men have to help them feel comfortable with being sexual. That is, if you as a man make sexually negative and judgemental comments or even give disapproving looks or facial expressions, you can sexually shut down a woman without realizing it. In this regard, some men can't help themselves, because of: their prudishness, religious beliefs, feeling insecure or intimidated by sexually strong women, or negative thinking about female sexuality.
Even more insidiously, you as a man don't have to say anything or have a particular look. A man can be completely NEUTRAL on a date and many women will STILL stay sexually shut down, because she ASSUMES you will be negative or think her a "slut/bad girl".
Consequently, it's to the advantage of a man to make a deliberate and conscious effort to INDIRECTLY show he is comfortable with a woman being strongly sexual and is trustworthy (as in not tell everybody and responsible).
Do see my threads related to Verbal Sexual Escalation. The trick is to tell 3 or 4 sexually related stories. Best to talk about a 3rd party at first. Each story covering a slightly different point. The stories themselves should be very DIFFERENT from each other, even if the outcome is a bit similar:
1) A story that a friend told you about some sexual activity or fetish he discovered about someone else or his girlfriend. Which was acceptable to him.
2) A story about discovering some sexual activity about a friend or co-worker, but you kept it a SECRET. Showing your trustworthiness.
3) A story about some interesting or unusual sexual activity that you accidentally discovered an ex-girlfriend (from long ago) liked and you were totally fine with. She hid it out of fear of disapproval, and you helped her overcome this fear and approved.
The indirect sexual stories give the subconscious message and hint to women that it's OK to be sexual with YOU or make her feel comfortable about it with you. The more she engages IN the story or adds HER stories to the conversation, the usually more COMFORTABLE this shows she is about having sex with you. And the opposite is usually true to. The more negative and disapproving about the conversation she is, the more uncomfortable she will usually be about having sex with you. Therefore the stories become a LITMUS TEST.
Types Of Women Not Usually Social Acknowledged
. Some women would like or are not against the idea of having sex with you on that date you will go on, but are following social protocol to ACT like a supposedly "good" little girl in front of you.
Note- When a guy becomes more skilled, he can more readily see this type of woman checking him in a "looking for approval type of way", by her facial expression and body language.
Therefore the suppression of their sexual nature is very LIGHT. The right hints and making her comfortable, will allow her sexual self to come out.
. Some women are sexually dysfunctional and have severe psychological or even physiological problems (hormonal, brain, damage of sexual organs) that prevent them from embracing their sexuality. Their problems are too deep for a man to pry her out of her shell, without maximum effort and difficulty. Even taking months, years, or NEVER...
. Then there are women that are various degrees in the middle.
Irregardless of the category of women, the indirect sexual stories allows a man to guage her. The more experience and understanding at doing this (combined with him reading body language and taking women to loations where touching and being romantic is possible) that a man has, the higher percentage of women in the light and middle types that he can have sex with. It's not magic, it's skill and math. Math in the sense of higher probability of sexual outcome per number of dates he goes on.
As for the nurse mentioned at the beginning of the post that my friends were in bar talk awe about, she was the 2nd of 2 new dates, 2 days in a row (see Date Stacking thread). The 1st date with a different woman, the day before went nowhere (at that time), though we may go out again on another day (and it might happen on that day/plus may make a thread about 2nd and 3rd dates), while the next woman was a homerun. Going on more dates = more likely sex will happen and more likely a guy recognizes female verbal and body language clues.
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