What to do?

[Nosophobia2017]

A few weeks back, I contacted a female on a dating site. We agreed to meet and did. The date itself was perfect. On the other hand, the whole time I was talking to her, I had a feeling that I had seen her somewhere before and her name was familiar. It turned out that I was correct about seeing her before. Her pretty little face is on an escort site. This is supposed to be “normal” dating. I guess I shouldn’t go on the next planned date?

 

[User#6517]

You know.. sexworkers are people too. Just because we are working ladies doesn’t mean that we are incapable of enjoying dating and sex outside of work.

I occasionally date men in my personal life, and my attraction to them is real. What would be considered unprofessional in my work environment, I could have with them.. so it is a nice feeling.

If you like her and you’re comfortable with her occupation, then I don’t see the problem with going on a second date.

Whatever you do, though.. please don’t tell her that you know she’s an escort. Let her tell you first. And if she lies about her profession, understand that we lie to most people about our job because of stigma and fear of getting judged. It’s nothing personal.

 

[Simonka]

It was “normal” dating for her.

But I understand having an escort/stripper/hostess gf is not something everyone can go through with. I also understand you might want to introduce your gf to your social circles and you might be afraid she will be recognized.

Very few men (with regular, vanilla jobs and lifestyles) are capable of being okay with a girl working in fuzoku or mizu shobai, loving them dearly and standing by them in their social circles if somebody recognizes them It’s up to you but sometimes we give up on people for really silly reasons and lose a wonderful, functioning, supportive relationship from the beginning.

 

[User#6517]

It was a “normal” dating for her.

But I understand having an escort/stripper/hostess gf is not something everyone can go through with.

Yes. I’ve dated men who at first said that they were comfortable with my occupation, but later started to feel insecure.. usually because I had a higher income than them or because I had incredibly generous repeat clients and they felt like they weren’t spoiling me enough. It takes a very confident and secure man to be in a serious relationship with a sexworker.

 

[Majestyk]

It was “normal” dating for her.

But I understand having an escort/stripper/hostess gf is not something everyone can go through with. I also understand you might want to introduce your gf to your social circles and you might be afraid she will be recognized.

Very few men (with regular, vanilla jobs and lifestyles) are capable of being okay with a girl working in fuzoku or mizu shobai, loving them dearly and standing by them in their social circles if somebody recognizes them It’s up to you but sometimes we give up on people for really silly reasons and lose a wonderful, functioning, supportive relationship from the beginning.

I’ve been in such a relationship before. Twice.
Of course, neither one of my then-GF was from where I live. Each one was initially eager to start fresh.
I really wanted to make it work. Gave each one my love, attention, understanding and financial support. Introduced each one to my small circle of friends. I kept the faith.
But eventually, I got seriously, seriously dumped.
One fell for the promises of another dude, a former client who dumped her later, she told me several months later.
The other one felt she did not fit in with my vanilla lifestyle and left town when I was traveling on business. She sent me a text message.
I have no news of what either of them are doing now. I have no interest keeping in touch with people who burned me.
I’m just grateful that I’m in a forum where I have no problem discussing these relationships. Thanks for reading this.

 

[Acid Burn]

The date itself was perfect.

This is supposed to be “normal” dating. I guess I shouldn’t go on the next planned date?

The date was perfect and you don’t wanna go on another date??

 

[Simonka]

I’ve been in such a relationship before. Twice.
Of course, neither one of my then-GF was from where I live. Each one was initially eager to start fresh.
I really wanted to make it work. Gave each one my love, attention, understanding and financial support. Introduced each one to my small circle of friends. I kept the faith.
But eventually, I got seriously, seriously dumped.
One fell for the promises of another dude, a former client who dumped her later, she told me several months later.
The other one felt she did not fit in with my vanilla lifestyle and left town when I was traveling on business. She sent me a text message.
I have no news of what either of them are doing now. I have no interest keeping in touch with people who burned me.
I’m just grateful that I’m in a forum where I have no problem discussing these relationships. Thanks for reading this.

Very sorry to hear that. Those are two very personal hurtful memories for you, and I can’t comment before hearing the other side of the story. However even if you date a woman with a vanilla life there will probably be so many complications. You just bumped into the wrong people, or those women were the wrong people for you.

 

[chinshiko]

A few weeks back, I contacted a female on a dating site. We agreed to meet and did. The date itself was perfect. On the other hand, the whole time I was talking to her, I had a feeling that I had seen her somewhere before and her name was familiar. It turned out that I was correct about seeing her before. Her pretty little face is on an escort site. This is supposed to be “normal” dating. I guess I shouldn’t go on the next planned date?

Wow! So, she was using the same name?
I was always under the assumption that most girls use a pseudonym for working.
I guess that would be the only red flag?

 

[BB0523]

A few weeks back, I contacted a female on a dating site. We agreed to meet and did. The date itself was perfect. On the other hand, the whole time I was talking to her, I had a feeling that I had seen her somewhere before and her name was familiar. It turned out that I was correct about seeing her before. Her pretty little face is on an escort site. This is supposed to be “normal” dating. I guess I shouldn’t go on the next planned date?

What the fuck do you care how she makes money... If you went on a date means you are attracted to her... so enjoy the time with her. Think of it this way... 1. What if her pic was stolen and used on the escort site ? Ever think of that ? Give her the benefit of doubt. 2. If you guys hit it off, then you can be getting to enjoy sex with her without paying an hourly rate. 3. If you are not Man enough to accept her job,,, then she probably will dump your lame ass anyway...

Women are people, escorts are people, they have the same needs/wants and PEOPLE douchebag... You can't get over the fact that she may have had a little more dick than some "normal" girl... C'mon... grow up...

While I understand that some men want their women to be pure, demure and "special" who says she isn't any/all of those things.

If she wants to tell you she will... if she doesn't it's because she wants a normal relationship.

If she says you owe her 50,000JPY at the end of the date, then it's not a "normal" dating site

You have a vast resource here in TAG and some women have already explained to you... pull your head out of your ass... I mean you went to a normal dating site, but you also have been browsing escort sites too ? what if SHE found out that you did that ? how would you feel ? Would you tell her you also go to escorts ? Me thinks not ! ! ! Just my opinion...

 

[Nosophobia2017]

Wow! So, she was using the same name?
I was always under the assumption that most girls use a pseudonym for working.
I guess that would be the only red flag?

In this case, she is using the same name as she uses on the dating site.

 

[Nosophobia2017]

What the fuck do you care how she makes money... If you went on a date means you are attracted to her... so enjoy the time with her. Think of it this way... 1. What if her pic was stolen and used on the escort site ? Ever think of that ? Give her the benefit of doubt. 2. If you guys hit it off, then you can be getting to enjoy sex with her without paying an hourly rate. 3. If you are not Man enough to accept her job,,, then she probably will dump your lame ass anyway...

Women are people, escorts are people, they have the same needs/wants and PEOPLE douchebag... You can't get over the fact that she may have had a little more dick than some "normal" girl... C'mon... grow up...

While I understand that some men want their women to be pure, demure and "special" who says she isn't any/all of those things.

If she wants to tell you she will... if she doesn't it's because she wants a normal relationship.

If she says you owe her 50,000JPY at the end of the date, then it's not a "normal" dating site

You have a vast resource here in TAG and some women have already explained to you... pull your head out of your ass... I mean you went to a normal dating site, but you also have been browsing escort sites too ? what if SHE found out that you did that ? how would you feel ? Would you tell her you also go to escorts ? Me thinks not ! ! ! Just my opinion...

You’re a bit on the negative side. I’m like any guy that navigates the world of nightlife and things to do with adults. And to be honest, I was led to site by a comment on here. With my strange memory, I just remembered a detail. It’s not like I go looking at escort sites for no reason. As far as this female goes, she never asked me for money or anything. But thanks for the response anyway.

 

[Nosophobia2017]

The date was perfect and you don’t wanna go on another date??

I’m going on another date, maybe! If you see this lady, you will think she’s a goddess.

 

[Nosophobia2017]

I’ve been in such a relationship before. Twice.
Of course, neither one of my then-GF was from where I live. Each one was initially eager to start fresh.
I really wanted to make it work. Gave each one my love, attention, understanding and financial support. Introduced each one to my small circle of friends. I kept the faith.
But eventually, I got seriously, seriously dumped.
One fell for the promises of another dude, a former client who dumped her later, she told me several months later.
The other one felt she did not fit in with my vanilla lifestyle and left town when I was traveling on business. She sent me a text message.
I have no news of what either of them are doing now. I have no interest keeping in touch with people who burned me.
I’m just grateful that I’m in a forum where I have no problem discussing these relationships. Thanks for reading this.

I’m sorry to hear that! It is something that could happen.

 

[Nosophobia2017]

You know.. sexworkers are people too. Just because we are working ladies doesn’t mean that we are incapable of enjoying dating and sex outside of work.

I occasionally date men in my personal life, and my attraction to them is real. What would be considered unprofessional in my work environment, I could have with them.. so it is a nice feeling.

If you like her and you’re comfortable with her occupation, then I don’t see the problem with going on a second date.

Whatever you do, though.. please don’t tell her that you know she’s an escort. Let her tell you first. And if she lies about her profession, understand that we lie to most people about our job because of stigma and fear of getting judged. It’s nothing personal.

I’m not that kind of guy to tell her that I know she’s got an ad on a website. So no worries that I’d do something like that.

 

[Nosophobia2017]

It was “normal” dating for her.

But I understand having an escort/stripper/hostess gf is not something everyone can go through with. I also understand you might want to introduce your gf to your social circles and you might be afraid she will be recognized.

Very few men (with regular, vanilla jobs and lifestyles) are capable of being okay with a girl working in fuzoku or mizu shobai, loving them dearly and standing by them in their social circles if somebody recognizes them It’s up to you but sometimes we give up on people for really silly reasons and lose a wonderful, functioning, supportive relationship from the beginning.

Ain’t that the truth! You can’t miss this one in a room. I’m sure the men that hire escorts would recognize her if not for her looks, but her educated mind.

 

[Nosophobia2017]

I’ve read the opinions of all that responded, and I will just think on this some more.

 

[Frenchy]

I’ve been in such a relationship before. Twice.
Of course, neither one of my then-GF was from where I live. Each one was initially eager to start fresh.
I really wanted to make it work. Gave each one my love, attention, understanding and financial support. Introduced each one to my small circle of friends. I kept the faith.
But eventually, I got seriously, seriously dumped.
One fell for the promises of another dude, a former client who dumped her later, she told me several months later.
The other one felt she did not fit in with my vanilla lifestyle and left town when I was traveling on business. She sent me a text message.
I have no news of what either of them are doing now. I have no interest keeping in touch with people who burned me.
I’m just grateful that I’m in a forum where I have no problem discussing these relationships. Thanks for reading this.

Sorry to hear that. But honestly it could have happened all the same with non-SW ladies.
Having said that maybe, given the nature of the job and how it may rub off on their personalities, maybe there is more of a tendency for them to switch to the richer or “less vanilla” guy more easily and being more numbed vs your (and their own) feelings, money corrupts...but I’m not so sure though. And I’m an ass for saying this cause usually I’m the one doing the dumping

 

[Frenchy]

A few weeks back, I contacted a female on a dating site. We agreed to meet and did. The date itself was perfect. On the other hand, the whole time I was talking to her, I had a feeling that I had seen her somewhere before and her name was familiar. It turned out that I was correct about seeing her before. Her pretty little face is on an escort site. This is supposed to be “normal” dating. I guess I shouldn’t go on the next planned date?

If the date was perfect , I would probably go to the next one. But bearing in mind that everything shall pass, no one owns anyone, and everyone is entitled to their secrets. Carpe Diem. Just don’t get attached too much.

 

[Sterling]

I guess I shouldn’t go on the next planned date?

She's offering you something other guys are paying good money for - why would you turn that down? If anything, you should be flattered.

 

[Nosophobia2017]

She's offering you something other guys are paying good money for - why would you turn that down? If anything, you should be flattered.

I should be if you look at it that way! Lol

 

[Frenchy]

I should be if you look at it that way! Lol

Yeah, we dont commiserate, in fact we all hate you now !

 

[ShowaJidai]

I just flat out don't get what the issue here is.

Does your definition of "date" somehow imply anything in the vague direction of holy matrimony? It's just a freaking date - and neither of you know anything about the other yet.

For me, if I am meeting some woman from a dating site, one concern is that she doesn't have any strange hang-ups about sex. Way too many like that out there. So in this case you can all but certainly put this one is the good column.

Once upon a time a dated a Japanese lady whose oral skills were on a level that I pondered whether she had worked at a Pin Salon before. I never brought it up - just enjoyed the ride. If she ever needed me to know she could tell me.

 

[BB0523]

You’re a bit on the negative side. I’m like any guy that navigates the world of nightlife and things to do with adults..

I was not trying to be negative at all... and my point was, if you are attracted to her, then enjoy the time you spend with her as much as you can... As for you being like any guy that navigates the world of nightlife and things to do with adults.. hmmm in part I am sure that is true because you believe it to be true, but there is also another part where you are asking what you should do. I appreciate that you are looking for some opinions from others on this forum, but in the end it's your decision and what you are comfortable with.. People will offer their comments and advice based on their own experiences so you can make a more "informed" decision, but it's still going to be your decision... I know I am stating the obvious here... but again my opinion FWIIW... Many here navigate the nightlife just fine and provide informative reports because they can... others ask questions about this and that and very seldom report on how it went after they've asked for help/advice only to disappear... So I am sure you can appreciate these 2 sides of the coin....