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Who managed to pickup a waitress?

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majimekun

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Maybe it's only me being not good at it, but whenever I give my contact info to long known waitresses I have good feelings with, the only thing I get in return are ... crickets.
And I think I've been in Japan long enough to know the difference between being just nice to customers and the rest.
Is there an unwritten rule such as "never get private with the client"?
 
Rule of thumb... most waitresses that are even remotely attractive, usually get hit on all the time. Being friendly isn’t always a sign that they are interested... There’s also a consideration that she may not want to date someone she met as a customer.

Worst they can do is say no or don’t reply.
 
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ShowaJidai said:
Yeah, I pulled a waitress before. Got her number, went on a date. Long story short - she's my ex.

Once bit, twice shy. I won't be doing that again.
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Wait, you can't just stop like that without telling us why not again! Unless you want others to find out why the hard way.
 
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Another time, a different waitress.

Didn't pull her or even ask for her number.

A buddy and I were drinking at an outdoor table at a bar, mostly people watching and hanging out. It was happy hour - beers were cheap but smaller than usual. We had been chatting with the waitress a bit. When she brought two beers I had ordered I handed one to her and said "This is yours". She took a quick look towards the inside of the bar - checking to see if Tencho could see her I guess - and then drank it down in one go. About an hour later did it again.
 
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majimekun said:
Maybe it's only me being not good at it, but whenever I give my contact info to long known waitresses I have good feelings with, the only thing I get in return are ... crickets.
And I think I've been in Japan long enough to know the difference between being just nice to customers and the rest.
Is there an unwritten rule such as "never get private with the client"?
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There’s no rule and im pretty sure waitresses dont think of you as a ‘client’.
If they find you attractive enough, be it through looks or personality, they’ll reply.
 
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Haven’t tried it yet. It might be hard to pick up or get laid with them since tipping culture doesn’t have in Japan.
 
Cwilly said:
Haven’t tried it yet. It might be hard to pick up or get laid with them since tipping culture doesn’t have in Japan.
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I don't let that stop me. As I mentioned up-thread - sometimes they will take a drink if offered. It's more fun than tipping - especially when tipping is expected.
 
I think some people don’t appreciate to be hit on at work, especially when they have to stay polite at all costs.
Please don’t be too pushy if you feel like doing this at all.
 
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User#8628 said:
I think some people don’t appreciate to be hit on at work, especially when they have to stay polite at all costs.
Please don’t be too pushy if you feel like doing this at all.
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This...very much this! But @User#8628 perhaps understates it.

Think about it. Hitting on someone in your workplace whose job depends on interacting with you and getting along reasonably cordially, especially if they report to you and need your approval to get raises and promotions, is widely and correctly considered unethical and grossly inappropriate. It will get you fired from many reasonably progressive businesses. Customers hitting on a server in a restaurant or really anyone in a customer service job is exactly the same situation ethically. You are taking unfair advantage of a professional relationship.

-Ww
 
ShowaJidai said:
I don't let that stop me. As I mentioned up-thread - sometimes they will take a drink if offered. It's more fun than tipping - especially when tipping is expected.
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In case I gave the wrong impression - I was not talking about hitting on waitresses, only about buying them drinks or other ways of showing my appreciation.
 
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I have, but it's a bit more difficult. The reason why I say this is IMO picking anyone up at there job is a bit more work. You have to realize well, they are working and you trying to hold them up to spit game may not go over well.

First duty station I was able to get a Hooters waitress, but that was because it was dead, she did not like the other waitresses she worked with, and we surprisingly had a lot in common (WoW as I had a t-shirt on only WoW players would understand plus a few other things).
 
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Raaaah the dilemma stroke again. I was at a shop for a custom made shirt order and the girl there was cute as hell and she kept making eyes contacts even when I didn't interact directly with her. And there is nothing I could do especially having in mind the stuff you guys wrote in this thread. Got out of the shop with a lot of frustration and despair. The shop has my phone number but no professional would use it for private purpose so this the end of it. Maybe she will be there again when I go retrieve my order. Drives me crazy.
 
majimekun said:
Raaaah the dilemma stroke again. I was at a shop for a custom made shirt order and the girl there was cute as hell and she kept making eyes contacts even when I didn't interact directly with her. And there is nothing I could do especially having in mind the stuff you guys wrote in this thread. Got out of the shop with a lot of frustration and despair. The shop has my phone number but no professional would use it for private purpose so this the end of it. Maybe she will be there again when I go retrieve my order. Drives me crazy.
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What dilemma? Just ask her out.. what do you have to lose? It's better to get rejected and learn and improve than to dwell on the past and not taking action.
 
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ive done it a handful of times here at home but only once in Japan. It was this gothy rocker bartender chick at a bar in shinjuku- dusk till dawn or something like that. sex was meh and she semi ghosted on me after...her english sucked...so we both knew what we both wanted.
i got her on FB still.
 
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Never dated a waitress in Japan but I have dated my share in the states. I was never sure of the protocol post hookup. Am I still expected to tip when I got back to the shop!?
 
BlackBlade said:
Am I still expected to tip when I got back to the shop!?
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Of course, since its their wage.
Do you want your old gal to go hungry?
In the US, tipping is part of the bill, it sucks that its optional but in any place where the salary only covers the taxes, you’re an asshole not to tip. You are using her services at work, pay like everyone else or just don’t visit. If she gets a normal salary, no need per se.
But why would you not if you did previously?
 
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User#8628 said:
Of course, since its their wage.
Do you want your old gal to go hungry?
In the US, tipping is part of the bill, it sucks that its optional but in any place where the salary only covers the taxes, you’re an asshole not to tip. You are using her services at work, pay like everyone else or just don’t visit. If she gets a normal salary, no need per se.
But why would you not if you did previously?
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I always tip. I always tip in cash if possible even if i pay with card jut to make sure they can keep as much of it as possible. Always feels weird in Japan that one does not tip. It just seems weird to tip a would be GF despite the circumstances... but it didn't let that stop me from doing so.
 
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