Dude, seriously...you should count yourself LUCKY that you got rid of that fucking loser. Any female who dates you for TWO YEARS and limits you to third base likely has VERY serious emotional/trust/intimacy issues and should've been dropped long ago. I mean, if you were still in 6th grade then yeah, I can see the girl wanting to wait a bit. But I'm assuming you're both adults, and there is no reason on earth for that sort of behavior. Shit, I used to date band dorks in high school and even the prudish first-seat clarinet players with glasses and braces were putting out by junior year. And don't get me started on my "one time, at band camp" stories.
But the advice most are giving you is absolutely true. If you're punching your V-card, spend the money and get quality. Most soaps or parlors, though they may be fun for guys who know the ropes, will be far more business-oriented and want you IN then OUT, emphasis on OUT. You may or may not get decent service. But for a couple hundred bucks more, you could have two hours with one of the fantastic independents that advertise on this forum, and yes, they are worth the extra money. They'll accommodate your individual needs and will tailor the session far better than some bimbo at the average soapland.
And knock off that bullshit checklist of things you want in the session and face reality: You're gonna blow in 30 seconds like Jim in American Pie. All the more reason to go with an independent here, as they'll work spectacularly with a two-pump first timer. You can try missionary for your first 30 second pop, then doggy for your next 45 second pop, then maybe try cowgirl and see if you last a minute for the third attempt. Maybe for round four you can learn how to eat pussy properly and then ask for a top quality BJ. Two hours with a pro from TAG is going to be far more interesting, educational, satisfying and memorable than an hour on a soapy inflatable mattress.
But after you get this out of the way, you should seriously go find yourself a normal girl to date for a while. Doesn't have to be pretty, nice or even particularly pleasant, but it'll provide you with a learning tool. Like a practice pad for a drummer, if you will. Then you'll be far more prepared, confident and adept when you sit at the actual drum set. And THEN you can start prowling around the soaplands and parlors and it'll be far more fun.
