Women Doing One Night Stands On Me : I Hate It :(

[roots reggae]

If it's her choice then she should be very clear about it from the very begining instead of saying yes to an offer concerning a long term sexfriendship.

Having sex with someone and then just being "deleted" from her contacts is just rude.

I would never do such a thing.

Sir majimekun;

Please take this post in the spirit intended. I have much respect for you, so, please do not mistake my comment as a personal attack. It's only a pictorial commentary on our male-centric society and upbringing. I know your pain is real and I am not mocking it.

 

[Peter Tran]

I am an anti ONS guy, I never do it because, for me, the best sex comes when you start to know your partners (sexfriends in my case) better.

It happened 3 times recently.

3 girls who seemed to enjoy it ... but they just completely disappeared.

And I hate it.

No second chance, no good bye, no explanation, NOTHING.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I find it rude.

Am I weird?

you had sex at the first times you meet hers? do you have to negotiate before dating?

 

[split]

Japan has a famous problem that isn't widely known outside of Japan and it's not known to many foreigners living here, unless they can speak a decent level of Japanese. It's called- shinkeishitsu (神経質). Neurotic and overly afraid of making a mistake or being embarrassed.

And this has another element related to this, kanzen shugisha (完全主義者), also said as kanpeki shugisha. This is trying to be perfect or perfectionist.

I see this in my job a lot. Especially when one can't answer there is a stalling method, which if I wanted to, I could uncomfortably extended to several moments of silence. The concern of making a small mistake even discourages them from guessing, despite being encouraged to make a guess. This is partly a product of the education here. And the same thinking exists in China. It's the people who have lived overseas whom are the more daring in making a guess and not worried about getting it wrong while expressing opinions. Or, it is the people who have been speaking English long enough (for years) to feel comfortable with getting something wrong.

 

[Manami TMK]

Sorry to say that but why these three women weren't interested in meeting you again that big deal for you?

I like ONS myself and this is part of the reasons why I enjoy escort job. I may not see him any more in my life, right?
Most likely, I am more attracted by the circumstance itself of " I have sex with the man I never know and won't see him again ever. Just this once" than actual ONS play.
I once seriously thought about posting my message at some women looking for men classified sites something like " I am looking for ONS only. I do not need any of your information. You even don't tell me your name. We simply meet up, have sex one time, walk separately from hotel, never contact again. Interested?"

Yes, you can say I am wierd.

 

[namae]

" I am looking for ONS only. I do not need any of your information. You even don't tell me your name. We simply meet up, have sex one time, walk separately from hotel, never contact again. Interested?"
.

Re Your Ad

I am very interested in meeting you. Please let me know the meeting location, date and time. I will be wearing blue jeans and a black sweater. Looking forward to meeting you soon. Ciao Bella.

 

[majimekun]

....You even don't tell me your name. We simply meet up, have sex one time, walk separately from hotel, never contact again. Interested?"

Yes, you can say I am wierd.

I know nothing about you but if you don't insist on using a condom and if you don't test yourself regularily for STDs then you're not only weird but totally irresponsible.

 

[DocMcStuffins]

I know nothing about you but if you don't insist on using a condom and if you don't test yourself regularily for STDs then you're not only weird but totally irresponsible.

Don't know where that came from. In any case, That's pretty moralistic for someone having lots of one night stands.

 

[Sudsy]

Don't know where that came from.

I too, find myself perplexed at the leap in logic....

 

[Wwanderer]

I am also now totally lost in this thread, starting with @namae 's response to @Ayaka .

-Ww

 

[Sinapse]

Sorry to say that but why these three women weren't interested in meeting you again that big deal for you?

I like ONS myself and this is part of the reasons why I enjoy escort job. I may not see him any more in my life, right?
Most likely, I am more attracted by the circumstance itself of " I have sex with the man I never know and won't see him again ever. Just this once" than actual ONS play.
I once seriously thought about posting my message at some women looking for men classified sites something like " I am looking for ONS only. I do not need any of your information. You even don't tell me your name. We simply meet up, have sex one time, walk separately from hotel, never contact again. Interested?"

Yes, you can say I am wierd.

I think this is actually quite common, the only thing unusual is the place to voice such an impulse where men can hear, namely, this forum. Most guys aren't used to hearing that women like sex, often anonymously and quickly and without commitment.

 

[namae]

I am also now totally lost in this thread, starting with @namae 's response to @Ayaka .

-Ww

Yoda walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic, and the waiter says.....

 

[MossBoss]

I know nothing about you but if you don't insist on using a condom and if you don't test yourself regularily for STDs then you're not only weird but totally irresponsible.

She doesn't mention anything about going skinless.

 

[DocMcStuffins]

Who cares what the stated goal is. His chosen lifestyle, if I am following along correctly, is to sleep with at least 3 regulars as well as deal with several ONS on a regular basis. You can't avoid ONS with his strategy. Sounds somewhat high-risk from an STD perspective.

 

[Solong]

Who cares what the stated goal is. His chosen lifestyle, if I am following along correctly, is to sleep with at least 3 regulars as well as deal with several ONS on a regular basis. You can't avoid ONS with his strategy. Sounds somewhat high-risk from an STD perspective.

I disagree, because they make condoms. So his situation is no more risky than what most usually face. When you meet a woman, you can't be sure of her sexual history, if she has an STD, or that it will turn into a ONS.

However, when you are in a regular sexual relationship with a person, STD risks are less. If a person brings an STD into the relationship, they are aware of the consequences and having to face the other person. That's a strong deterrent, decreasing risk.

When you fuck and run, you are less likely to care. If they give other people STDs, they won't know who they are nor can find them. Some people are also mentally sick, where if they have a STD, they purposely try to give it to other people. In these scenarios, the risk goes up.

 

[DocMcStuffins]

Come on. I'm too lazy to go back and quote your old posts. But I'm sure you have said that a sex friend might be doing it nama with her other boyfriends or husband. Whereas someone who likes ONS might only do it rarely. Not easy to draw conclusions on the risk.

Anyway, I never thought I'd see a criticism of ONS on this forum. Really strange.

 

[Solong]

From my private experience, telling a guy he is not good at sex or whatever is just not a good idea. I always got extremely rude texts back even tho I was polite and explaining the situation. So maybe those girls want to avoid exactly that.

I think the issue of not taking criticism well goes for both sexes. However, for men, the issue can be more difficult because it's more of a physical limitation. His penis too small, too big, ejaculates too quickly, erections problem, no pumping rhythm, clumsy, etc... Something that's more difficult to correct.

Where with women, it's often a mental or technique issue, not so much a physical limitation. She's terrible at blow jobs, terrible at hand jobs, doesn't want guys to kiss her vagina, doesn't like doggy style or some other position, won't drink sperm, only wants to have sex with the lights off, etc...

However, 1st or one time sex can be very hard to gauge or judge the quality of sex. Because of nervousness, being drunk, etc... particularly for men. Many women don't realize men get nervous or to the extent too much alcohol can affect the penis, nor how her reluctance or nervousness affects him.

There can be a huge difference in performance between sex the 1st time and the 2nd or 3rd time. So being too negatively judgemental about 1st time sex, can be a bad mistake (man or woman).

Also, as people get to know each other sexually, it becomes more clear if they take to polite criticism or instruction/teaching well. For example, I've met women who I could teach how to do a BJ, and those who couldn't learn. Sometimes a woman can surprise me with her energy and even aggressiveness/passion, where I thought she was a dead fish in the 1st encounter. This is something to be seen over the 2nd to 4th sex encounters. With some people, sex does improve with time. But you have to give it a chance to make a better judgment.

As I mentioned, there are many other reasons why women have one night sex and run, and they have nothing to do with performance. It can be more for the thrill of being naughty, they want to hide sexual escapades from a boyfriend/husband, stay anonymous, think getting sex from guys/or better guy is easy, etc...

 

[MossBoss]

I disagree, because they make condoms. So his situation is no more risky than what most usually face. When you meet a woman, you can't be sure of her sexual history, if she has an STD, or that it will turn into a ONS.

However, when you are in a regular sexual relationship with a person, STD risks are less. If a person brings an STD into the relationship, they are aware of the consequences and having to face the other person. That's a strong deterrent, decreasing risk.

When you fuck and run, you are less likely to care. If they give other people STDs, they won't know who they are nor can find them. Some people are also mentally sick, where if they have a STD, they purposely try to give it to other people. In these scenarios, the risk goes up.

Good rescue mission, Solong. I saw the original post before you edited it.

Regards

MossBoss

 

[Solong]

Come on. I'm too lazy to go back and quote your old posts. But I'm sure you have said that a sex friend might be doing it nama with her other boyfriends or husband. Whereas someone who likes ONS might only do it rarely. Not easy to draw conclusions on the risk.

Anyway, I never thought I'd see a criticism of ONS on this forum. Really strange.

I'm not sure if you are referring to me, another poster, or mixing up some past comments. Doesn't look like anything I have stated in that particular way.

Sex On 1st/2nd Date VS ONS

I think the confusion you might be having is the difference between sex on the 1st/2nd date and one night sex only. These are not the same.

Many guys want to continue the sexual relationship, NOT immediately dump the women after sex or that night. This is a common misconception. Many women are under the false belief that guys only want sex 1 time, so they dump or run, because they think guys are going to do that to her. She inappropriately tries to do it to the guy first, based on her erroneous assumptions about guys.

And in the case of some women, they get off on hypocritically and mentally abusing guys in that way. She will act fake or pretend to be a certain way when she meets guys, then cut them off afterwards, or it's all "fun and games" until a guy she likes does it to her. I've talked to a number of women doing this type of behavior in swinger circles.

Nama/No Condom

I've stated that many Japanese women don't like condoms, and it's more a part of Japanese culture than in the West. However, this is in the context of continual relationships, not ONS. That's a major difference. In a continuous relationship, you develop TRUST.

Having one night sex with no condoms, when you intend to never see the person again is ludicrous. It's like having sex with a prostitute with no condom. You can't ever follow-up, confront, or call the person about a STD. In fact, no condom ONS is worse than no condom sex with prostitutes. As the prostitute can often be called or e-mailed, and they are more likely professionals that get routine health checks or care about their health.

 

[Anna Summer]

Nama/No Condom

I've stated that many Japanese women don't like condoms, and it's more a part of Japanese culture than in the West. However, this is in the context of continual relationships, not ONS. That's a major difference. In a continuous relationship, you develop TRUST.

I don't think it's basically Japanese women who don't like condoms. More the opposite that Japanese guys don't want to use them at all. Doesn't matter if one night stand or not.
With every ONS I had with a Japanese guy I had to force them using a condom otherwise no bang. And they don't seemed very happy about it.
So please stop to accuse it's all the women. I'm tired of hearing that.

 

[Solong]

I don't think it's basically Japanese women who don't like condoms. More the opposite that Japanese guys don't want to use them at all. Doesn't matter if one night stand or not.
With every ONS I had with a Japanese guy I had to force them using a condom otherwise no bang. And they don't seemed very happy about it.
So please stop to accuse it's all the women. I'm tired of hearing that.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I think it's Japanese guys and many guys in general too. I was referring to my perspective as a heterosexual guy who deals with women. Please do understand the difference in perspective and experience. And I didn't say it was "all" women.

 

[Anna Summer]

I'm not disagreeing with you. I think it's Japanese guys and many guys in general too. I was referring to my perspective as a heterosexual guy who deals with women. Please do understand the difference in perspective and experience. And I didn't say it was "all" women.

I might be wrong and sorry in advance but your posts give off a very negative vibe into women in general because it always seems to be their fault.

 

[TAG Manager]

I might be wrong and sorry in advance but your posts give off a very negative vibe into women in general because it always seems to be their fault.

Agreed. Very much.

Maybe you don't realize how polarized your writing is.

 

[Solong]

I might be wrong and sorry in advance but your posts give off a very negative vibe into women in general because it always seems to be their fault.

I think you might be perceiving it that way, because I hold women as equally intelligent and accountable for their actions as men. I believe in and practice equality and fairness.

However, many other men coddle adult women as if children because they think it chivalrous or have old-fashioned thinking. In such thinking, women are treated or talked about as if perpetual victims, incapable of doing any wrong, or incapable of female agency.

 

[Anna Summer]

I think you might be perceiving it that way, because I hold women as equally intelligent and accountable for their actions as men. I believe in and practice equality and fairness.

However, many other men coddle adult women as if children because they think it chivalrous or have old-fashioned thinking. In such thinking, women are treated or talked about as if perpetual victims, incapable of doing any wrong, or incapable of female agency.

I don't really see that you hold men and women on an equal level. Whenever I read something it's always 'the women doing this, they do that and it's all their fault because of that...'
No, just no. If a guy is acting like a jerk and the women decides to block and never see him again, it's definitely not her fault or has anything to do with the behavior of Japanese women in general. I would block a jerk as well without giving much explanation beforehand simple because it's not worth the time to get into an argument with so said guy.
I had once a guy whom I didn't want to go back to his place because he acted like a total dick in public. He later harassed me via messages because I told him what was wrong.
You can say he was immature, yes I think so. Is it my fault because he acted that way? Probably not.

 

[User#8628]

I don't think it's basically Japanese women who don't like condoms. More the opposite that Japanese guys don't want to use them at all. Doesn't matter if one night stand or not.
With every ONS I had with a Japanese guy I had to force them using a condom otherwise no bang. And they don't seemed very happy about it.
So please stop to accuse it's all the women. I'm tired of hearing that.

It's sometimes an issue when i communicate my conditions using them with Japanese clients but i never had and actual problem with them when i meet them.
I never had a problem with sex friends. They always joke about naka dashi but they all think its normal to use condoms if the other person requests it or if the situation seems unsafe to themselves.