Worst pickup lines ever...

(to a girl who was checking me out on a Monday morning train)

me (in Japanese): "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

her (in perfect English): "Yeah, you were at that party at Dan's last Friday."

Luckily I recovered well enough to get her phone number and we did end up dating for a while


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Frenchy said:
I’ve always been told to follow my dreams, so tonight I’m following you
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I am not a stalker, I just follow you everywhere because I love you.

Not a pick up line but I usually like to make breakfast for the girls I really like. Japanese girls don't seem to understand this concept. I mean it would be easy to just simply say "thanks" when I do it, no?

Instead they usually scream "who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bedroom".
 
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Saw an old man during an office party use this line and it fucking worked to the shock of my friend and I,

Him: Have you ever been to Machu Pichu?
Her: No
Him: I have been I have pictures and videos in my house would you like to see them?
Her: Yes

Now this guy was not a looker, definite dad bod.

When in college overheard this conversation, the girl was talking to her friends when this gem happened.
Her: Man I am bored!
Him: That's because you don't have a good dick up in you!

They had sex later that night.

This next one happened to me the other night, yeah was definitely not feeling the sexual harassment.
Her: You're black?!?!
Me: Yes
Her: Ehhhhhhhhhhh!!! You're not black!
Me: I can assure you that I am, haven't you ever heard of Chris Brown and Drake. Light skin black people like myself do exist.
Her: Prove it
Me: ?
Her: Show me your dick!!!
Me: I'd rather not, thank you
She proceeds to grab and undo my pants with me trying to swat her hands away.
Her: How come you won't let me see
Me: Because you're drunk and you pissed me off!!
 
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RightOn6975 said:
Saw an old man during an office party use this line and it fucking worked to the shock of my friend and I,

Him: Have you ever been to Machu Pichu?
Her: No
Him: I have been I have pictures and videos in my house would you like to see them?
Her: Yes

Now this guy was not a looker, definite dad bod.

When in college overheard this conversation, the girl was talking to her friends when this gem happened.
Her: Man I am bored!
Him: That's because you don't have a good dick up in you!

They had sex later that night.

This next one happened to me the other night, yeah was definitely not feeling the sexual harassment.
Her: You're black?!?!
Me: Yes
Her: Ehhhhhhhhhhh!!! You're not black!
Me: I can assure you that I am, haven't you ever heard of Chris Brown and Drake. Light skin black people like myself do exist.
Her: Prove it
Me: ?
Her: Show me your dick!!!
Me: I'd rather not, thank you
She proceeds to grab and undo my pants with me trying to swat her hands away.
Her: How come you won't let me see
Me: Because you're drunk and you pissed me off!!
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For the last one, you should start your own #MeToo thing. Damn! Those ladies need to be told our dicks belong to us!!! :D
 
ShowaJidai said:
Speak for yourself. My dick belongs to (temporarily) and inside any wowan who can make him stand up.
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... ok , fair point, but obviously thats not the kind of lady RightOn met in this story :D
 
Frenchy said:
... ok , fair point, but obviously thats not the kind of lady RightOn met in this story :D
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She was actually quite attractive, it was her attitude the entire night and things she did prior to this event which made me not want to entertain the idea of talking to her, but being the good wingman that I am, I talked to her so that my friend could talk to her friend. At least her karma was going home with a severe case of blue twat while her friend took my friend home.
 
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So maybe if we can say that you were the one with good Karma here, and her dogmatic racial thinking was what got her on the wrong end of the situation, so your Karma ran over her dogma?
 
ShowaJidai said:
So maybe if we can say that you were the one with good Karma here, and her dogmatic racial thinking was what got her on the wrong end of the situation, so your Karma ran over her dogma?
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I run into it all the time. It does annoy me and it's a conversation that I end up having more often than not.
 
RightOn6975 said:
I run into it all the time. It does annoy me and it's a conversation that I end up having more often than not.
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Ok so next time I meet a Japanese lady I will shamelessly say I have black blood in my veins and when she checks it out I will say : “Gotcha!” :ROFLMAO:
 
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Frenchy said:
Ok so next time I meet a Japanese lady I will shamelessly say I have black blood in my veins and when she checks it out I will say : “Gotcha!” :ROFLMAO:
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According to one of my American friends to be really authentic black the most important thing you need to have is a bad credit rating.

Once when I was with a young spinner in a love hotel for the first time and went to the showers she took a look and then asked me if I was sure I am not black.

Before you guys start to get too jealous please be reminded that I have already previously stated I only meet with nice and polite girls. But being around 110% white that was still funny to me.
 
MikeH said:
According to one of my American friends to be really authentic black the most important thing you need to have is a bad credit rating.

Once when I was with a young spinner in a love hotel for the first time and went to the showers she took a look and then asked me if I was sure I am not black.

Before you guys start to get too jealous please be reminded that I have already previously stated I only meet with nice and polite girls. But being around 110% white that was still funny to me.
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Gives a whole new meaning to the “Black card” thing :)
 
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Everybody knows.... black chocolate melts in your hands .... while white chocolate melts in the mouth... and guess what... it's a pick up like too... :p
 
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