You Have A Sexually Active Gf, Why Mongering ?

john.smith

john.smith

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This is a genuine question, as I've never been with a GF yet. If your GF is sexually active, and have good relation with her, why mongering at all ?

Does having sex with the same person with too long get boring ?
Does paying a girl for having sex is a different feeling ?
 
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I don't know but i have some open relationship experience and to me it's partly the viarity and having a bit more sex drive than the guy usually has.
 
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john.smith said:
I would masturbate every day I would never feel the need to see an escort.
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So why are you not masturbating every day and avoiding the expense, time and effort required by p4p?

My question probably sounds rude and confrontational, but I do not mean it in that way but rather as a rhetorical question intended to point our that most people want/need sex for more reasons and in more ways (far more in my case at least) than just to satisfy a basic physical desire and t "release"/relieve the physical pressure/need.

Imo, men are more likely to think mainly or only in terms of that simple biological "hunger"/desire, and perhaps for some that is all there is to it...just as long as they are getting off regularly, the rest is details. However, most of those who say that are deluding themselves, again imo; their needs too, including variety, are deeper and more complicated.

-Ww
 
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A twist on the question ...

What if ... The worst scenario is when you, as a man, have a strong libido, but your partner just sits there and watches mind numbing TV all the time?

I wonder, whether the lack of intimacy and/or resolution of the sexual tension would render you emotionally and mentally unstable (for the lack of better word).
 
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Whateveryouwant said:
My question is...why stay with someone if they are not taking care of you sexually?
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The basic answer is that there is enormously more of value in relationships than sex and that sex isn't as huge a priority to many people as it is to typical TAGers.

A lot has been written about this recently on TAG in other threads so maybe there is no need to go into it in detail again now. See this one for example:

http://www.tokyoadultguide.com/threads/why-did-you-get-married.10428/

-Ww
 
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Black Mage said:
What if ... The worst scenario is when you, as a man, have a strong libido, but your partner just sits there and watches mind numbing TV all the time?

I wonder, whether the lack of intimacy and/or resolution of the sexual tension would render you emotionally and mentally unstable (for the lack of better word).
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It is a common bad situation (though very far from the worst case scenario imo), but I am not sure what you are asking...not sure what you mean by "emotionally and mentally unstable". It is not likely to make your head explode!

Btw, it is also very often the case that a woman is frustrated because her partner mostly prefers TV or whatever to sex with her.

-Ww
 
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As selfish as it sounds, having sex elsewhere made it much simpler to enjoy long term relationships for me so far. As there is no flirt, is doesn't feel like cheating (which would mess up my mind), and yet removes the strong pain coming with long term relationship that is sexual fidelity. I could sometimes want to "bang" a buxom blonde, even while I would be very happy in a relationship with a beautiful Vietnamese girl.
 
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Whateveryouwant said:
My question is...why stay with someone if they are not taking care of you sexually?
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This one is hard but for a lot of people here it's not an option. Very often, Japanese women stop to be sexual after marriage, and you're left with your commitments, which are stronger than your sex drive.
I find this very unfortunate, as I consider sex to be a basic building block of a healthy romantic relationship, but as @Wwanderer pointed it, we TAGers have a higher priority on sex than many.
 
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DocMcStuffins said:
Your sexually active girlfriend might still be boring in the sack.

To varying degrees, answers are yes and yes.
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This is often overlooked. I've known women who like sex a lot, but are very boring or limited, or just out to get pregnant/trap guys into marriage so are doing a lot at the time (this is another game guys have to be careful of).

Limited meaning: they can be terrible or don't do blow jobs, no anal, no lingerie, no outside sex, little development of sexual skill beyond laying on the bed like dead fish, nothing fun or different outside of the "usual", etc... She does very vanilla sex and just missionary or a few basic positions.

Many women don't realize that for sexually strong guys they can get boring after a while. Same old, same old. What's even funnier at times is these very sexually conservative or limited women can get sexually bored too. But they can't bring themselves to change or try anything different. Often, they are battling these childish "good girl" images, as if their mother is watching them have sex, that other people care about what they do in their bedroom, or a secret war against guys as if not doing what they want makes them the "winner".
 
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DocMcStuffins said:
Your sexually active girlfriend might still be boring in the sack.

To varying degrees, answers are yes and yes.
Click to expand...
This is an interesting point.
Often guys are like "i go to sexworkers because i want that rough PSE and wanna do crazy things to her that i don't even dare to suggest to my girlfriend because she likes only soft, romantic sex" which sounds really scary, but then you ask what they mean and they say something like "cumming on face" or a bit of spanking.
Most shops/escorts wouldn't allow very rough play anyway because the girls have to see more guys than only you so their body has to be in good condition. So except if it's in a thirth world country maybe, the sex wouldn't be that kinky, abnormal or scary.
Another thing that's more understandable is if the men likes to be dominated and receive anal or something and doesn't dare to ask his girlfriend.

I can't imagine a relationship being not open enough to discuss any possible kinks you wanna try in the bedroom.
Unless it's children, animals or something very bloody and painful i would never judge my partner for asking and because i trust them i would be willing to try out most things (more than with my clients).
 
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User#8628 said:
This is an interesting point.
Often guys are like "i go to sexworkers because i want that rough PSE and wanna do crazy things to her that i don't even dare to suggest to my girlfriend because she likes only soft, romantic sex" which sounds really scary, but then you ask what they mean and they say something like "cumming on face" or a bit of spanking.
Most shops/escorts wouldn't allow very rough play anyway because the girls have to see more guys than only you so their body has to be in good condition. So except if it's in a thirth world country maybe, the sex wouldn't be that kinky, abnormal or scary.
Another thing that's more understandable is if the men likes to be dominated and receive anal or something and doesn't dare to ask his girlfriend.

I can't imagine a relationship being not open enough to discuss any possible kinks you wanna try in the bedroom.
Unless it's children, animals or something very bloody and painful i would never judge my partner for asking and because i trust them i would be willing to try out most things (more than with my clients).
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From what I've seen in the swinger world, it's very obvious that many "normal"/"regular" couples don't fully speak about their sexual fantasies, kinks, etc.... Often the woman is trying to pretend to be virtuous or proper, or the guy thinks his wife/girlfriend is too proper to do anything he has in mind. It appears a lot of it is social pressure, repressed sexuality, and insecurity...

In talking to a lot of guys. Often the guy might suggest trying something different and the wife/girlfriends says "no". Even threaten the guy to leave or break the relationship if he asks again. Anal sex or swinging/orgies is a major example of such requests among couples, but it can be many other things. The guys are then faced with repressing their sexual urges to keep her, splitting up with her (and lose his viable sex option or his love), or he cheats and does things behind her back.

Though it's not always the woman as culprit. It can be the woman wants to try something different, but she is too afraid to ask the boyfriend/husband and worried about what he might think of her and lose him (particularly money or security), so she represses her desires or goes cheating with other guys where she can do what she wants.

Too many couples are trying to maintain a certain false image to each other. And many are doing all kinds of sexual things behind each other's back. Cheating, prostitues, wild sex, kink, anal, bi-sexuality, swinging, watching porn (but not with each other), etc...
 
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Solong said:
Too many couples are trying to maintain a certain false image to each other. And many are doing all kinds of sexual things behind each other's back. Cheating, prostitues, wild sex, kink, anal, bi-sexuality, swinging, watching porn (but not with each other), etc...
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I wonder why that status quo often seem to be thing that would develop gradually over time.

If you can't be honest about your sexuality with your partner, whom you can really trully be?

Human beings, such a complex creatures we are.
 
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To be fair though, I don't think a lot of younger guys would monger if their girlfriend is active. They are trying to make it work, plus the newness of a relationship makes it more exciting.

Now if you already have a mongering habit, it can be very hard to quit.

If my wife, not being a lot of fun, suddenly gets more active, I don't think it will feed my appetite.
 
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Because her butt is small and my stroke game too much for her to handle but I stay with shorty because her bj skills are off the solar system.
 
jacqueh said:
As selfish as it sounds, having sex elsewhere made it much simpler to enjoy long term relationships for me so far. As there is no flirt, is doesn't feel like cheating (which would mess up my mind), and yet removes the strong pain coming with long term relationship that is sexual fidelity. I could sometimes want to "bang" a buxom blonde, even while I would be very happy in a relationship with a beautiful Vietnamese girl.
Click to expand...
Quite true! My wife provides "normal" sex, but after some 40 years, it is understandable that our sex life is not as exciting as it was in the beginning... I still have a big sex drive.. Once, I had an affair with a sublime woman, and found myself still cheating on her after as well as my wife after a few weeks with women that most would rate far less attractive.. I the drop the gorgeous mistress, kept the wife and continued happily to monger..
 
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