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Young 30 Something Dating 19 Yr Old

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have arranged a first date so not expecting (or neccesarily wanting) anything romantic to take place.. just wondering if anyone has any advice

i plan on being my usual relaxed and friendlt self, i guess i should be extra careful not to lead her on / mess with her emotions

thoughts tag? my first time dating someone this much younger than me..
 
sorry for bad spelling.. its difficult from my phone
 
Well, how did you meet?
In person/random? Friends? Dating Site/App?

How you met the first time partially sets the stage for how things will go.

Dating someone younger isn't so tricky, but you may run into common issues about likes/dislikes based on the age disparity.

At my age, 25'ish is about as low as I will go... but the best rule is to be friendly and follow the same rules as you would with any new girl. (i.e. don't go dwelling on your past or bring up past relationships, unless she asks, but only discuss it briefly.)

At 19... I've got no idea what her expectations are... is she in college? NEET? or just a worker?

Good luck. :)
 
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There's only one thing you can do with a sweet 19 year old..."fuck her in the ass"

In all seriousness, treat it light, a bit of fun, show her a good time and in return it may be reciprocated. At that age, most probably she isn't looking for the love of her life, so just be a gent and take her places you'll both enjoy.
 
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Since the girl is 19, close to my age, I think I can relate to her.. unless cultural differences get in the way (she might be full Japanese, and I'm not).

I'd say take it easy.. 19 years old is pretty young, so she might not be as experienced in the dating world as you are.. but I think most 19-year-old girls want to be seen as adults. It'd be cool if you could avoid making her feel like a child. And it'd be a good idea to not remind her of her age as well.

If she makes a mistake or does something you don't understand, remember that she's 19. If she doesn't understand your likes/dislikes/beliefs/etc.. again, remember that she's 19 :p

You should just be yourself. Easy-going, fun, and humorous are my top 3 favorite character traits, and I'm almost sure it's the same for her.

Hope your date goes well!
 
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She might expect you to be a bit experienced and have some self-confidence, so it's natural to play this role. Only you need to make this enjoyable and share with her / don't oppose one to each other.
Even with 2 people the same age, hobbies can be different and it's always nice to find in each other the "missing link" helping understand some unfamiliar/intimidating subjects.
These kind of connections are easily fueled by the difference of age.

On the contrary, don't pretend to be as young as she is, just as an attempt to connect, except when it's true for some specific subjects, or if you look 19yo yourself.

Don't tell her necessarily about your 30yo-problems, keep some minimum control and don't wet your pants, give her a natural and sweet date with all the honesty, respect, fun, wit and kink that's so hard to achieve for
a younger lad (and that are so much appreciated by young ladies) !
 
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@danthrope - My best advice is to pay very close attention to @MissInsomnia 's advice and semi-ignore the rest of us old guys. She is the only one who has posted in this thread so far that is in a good position to know the score on this one.

My second best advice, based on dating women from about ten to about fifty years younger than me is to keep the following in mind: You have more yesterdays than she does and thus the knowledge, insights, experiences and (hopefully) wisdom they bring with them. She (probably) has more tomorrows than you do and thus the enthusiasm, fresh perspectives, optimism, energy and risk tolerance they bring. You share the most important day = today. She should respect and value all your extra yesterdays and what they entail, and you should equally respect and value all her extra tomorrows and what they imply.

This probably sounds like I am talking about making a long term SO-type relationship with someone of a very different age, and indeed it applies in that circumstance imo. However, it is even relevant if the connection is only for a single evening/date...and anything in between.

Now, forget the previous two paragraphs and go read @MissInsomnia 's post again.

-Ww
 
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danthrope said:
have arranged a first date so not expecting (or neccesarily wanting) anything romantic to take place.. just wondering if anyone has any advice

i plan on being my usual relaxed and friendlt self, i guess i should be extra careful not to lead her on / mess with her emotions

thoughts tag? my first time dating someone this much younger than me..
Click to expand...
Some young women can be at a higher speed and expect from an older guy, what they are not getting or doing with younger guys. An older guy to mentor and take more of a leading role, including romantically and sexually.

I've dated many women in the early 20s and still in college. If they are interested in older guys, it's often because of what different things they can bring to the table, that guys their age are possibly not.
 
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I just turned 21 this week, so I still basically feel like 20, close to her age.

My advice is, some girls really do love older guys. Don't try too hard to please her and pretend like you are of the same age as her. If you don't like going to for example a bar for party, don't push yourself to go with her even if you know that you won't have fun. If you want to play chess and sing oldies song, don't push her to do that with you as well. May-December love affair could be tricky because of different generations, hell, you might not even understand her slang txts sometimes.

However, there are girls out there that really identifies better with older companies (which I qualify myself with), those girls usually are the ones who grew up in company of adults and have adopoted their means and ways, their hobbies and past times.

I have dated 2 guys before, same as my age, and it really didn't work out. I felt like they lack the sense of responsibility, I find them happy go lucky, not reliable, and most most important of all, they can't hold a nice conversation, of course I am not generalizing, some young guys could be mature of their age as well, but very rare. So, for me, it'll be easier as I relate better with more mature people. I call myself, young body yet old soul.


In your case, I'd say find a common grounds. A bridge that would connect your age disparity and distance, trust me, it isn't so hard. For example, she has a thing for disney land and wants to go, you find is lame ass and stupid, don't go there, go to something you both can enjoy, for example, universal studio or fuji q which are less stupid and lame for you compared to disney, it'll make her happy. Also, in bed, young women tends to like rough, and hard, older gentlemen prefers to savour the moment, go hard and rough at first round, then savour the moment on second. It is all about giving and taking. Don't follow all her whims, don't insist all yours as well. Meet halfway. It isn't that hard especially if you have developed care and connection with the person.
 
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Just treat her like you should treat any woman.. Show her respect and treat her well and she'll be happy. I'm 58 and I'll date anything from 20 to 50. I won't get serious with anyone under 35 or so but the younger ones make for a fun roll in the hay at times. It does seem that asian women are less put off by age then american women.
 
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so much sexy and romantic advice.. i really expect this to be a friendship, but we shall see
 
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Since I've been dating (and having sex with) quite a lot of 18~19 y.0 during the last two years, here are my advices :

1. Always wear a condom and be always courteous in bed (not fucking her in the ass out of nowhere for example)

2. Always act in a way that shows she can always trust you/rely on you whenever possible. No dirty/tricky moves!

3. Don't expect too much. Such young girls just want to have fun and are very unpredictable.

4. Never let her think that she is in power because of her younger age. You should be able to dump her anytime.

5. Teach her things without sounding like mr. professor.

That's all I think.

Have fun :)

danthrope said:
have arranged a first date so not expecting (or neccesarily wanting) anything romantic to take place.. just wondering if anyone has any advice

i plan on being my usual relaxed and friendlt self, i guess i should be extra careful not to lead her on / mess with her emotions

thoughts tag? my first time dating someone this much younger than me..
Click to expand...
 
To those who are looking for such young girls, there are plenty of them on smartphones apps.
And it can be even scary sometimes.
There is one girl I will never EVER try to meet for sure because she is just 15 (yeah you read me right) and she told me that she often meets foreign guys around 30, she does fellations to them and even swallow. I don't know what these guys are really thinking. I know she is the one who pursue them but I can't even imagine the mess if they get caught.
 
majimekun said:
At the present time I'd say mainly SKOUT.
Click to expand...
I've seen some comments about SKOUT, here and other threads, where people advocate it. However something that I don't like about it and where I don't think it works, is allowing people to post on profiles.

So you have a woman, with say a sexy picture, and asshats from all over the world (not even her country) are posting some of the most idiotic, SIMP level, and ridiculous comments. "Oh baby, your legs so hot, my cock so hard." And I'm saying to myself, "What kind of normal woman, wants that type of attention or comments on her profile?"

What I'm getting at, is many Japanese women that are actually having casual sex and hooking up, prefer to be incognito. They want to hide their activities, or at least project a certain public image. When a women has a profile up, where anybody can find it and comment on it, I argue this affects their behavior. Many such women, when they go on a date with a guy, she must defend her "public image" and be ANTI-sexual as possible. Other women will take it to the extreme, where they date nobody, and JUST be attention-whores. The profile has no other purpose but getting a high off of attention.

Tinder or OkCupid in contrast, have stealthiness or stealth features. You can't search people on Tinder, and you both must like each other. With OkCupid, their is incognito mode. So women who are truly trying to sexually hookup, don't need to "defend" any public image or be worried about random crazies posting comments about them.
 
The truth is : Tinder in Japan is NOT for hookups. OkCupid is for women who are full of themselves.
On Skout you can choose to ignore the "buzz" section and lots of people do it.

Anyway, all my three current sexfriends were found on Skout and I assure you they have a very nice personality which makes the whole thing even more pleasurable. Nothing sexual in their profiles so they have nothing to defend.

Seriously, women who want to find a serious relationship, they give up on Skout pretty fast.
Because this isn't the place for that anyway.
Guys there come for only one thing : find sexfriends, fuckbuddies, ONS.

That's why you can read on several profiles"please don't send me your cock!!!" ahaha
 
majimekun said:
The truth is : Tinder in Japan is NOT for hookups. OkCupid is for women who are full of themselves.
On Skout you can choose to ignore the "buzz" section and lots of people do it.

Anyway, all my three current sexfriends were found on Skout and I assure you they have a very nice personality which makes the whole thing even more pleasurable. Nothing sexual in their profiles so they have nothing to defend.

Seriously, women who want to find a serious relationship, they give up on Skout pretty fast.
Because this isn't the place for that anyway.
Guys there come for only one thing : find sexfriends, fuckbuddies, ONS.

That's why you can read on several profiles"please don't send me your cock!!!" ahaha
Click to expand...
I will have to respectfully disagree about Tinder, as it appears to be slowly coming around in Japan, in terms of understanding about casual hookups and it's use. And I have met women from Tinder. I would argue Tinder is superior to SKOUT.

SKOUT profiles on the other, come off as so scam-ish or blatant attention whoring, because many profiles are WAY out of character for Japanese women in comparison to any place else or dating website. For example, a Japanese woman wearing a super revealing dress and with one leg in the air, so that you can almost see her panties. Really? I mean even many Western women don't pull such antics on dating profiles. Looks VERY much like sakura.

I'm also amazed that many women can stand the super creepy and slimy comments made under their pictures. Again, it's weird to me that regular Japanese women would tolerate such, not block such guys, or not allow comments under their pictures.

All the guys commenting on a woman's profile is arguably NOT conducive to dating. Seeing other and which guys are lusting after your girlfriend or sex-friend, would make many guys upset. How many guys want a girlfriend with an online profile with several guys commenting and obviously lusting after her?

Furthermore, SKOUT does some weird stuff with the location of women. Her location might say Tokyo, but this woman's background, language, or other pictures show she is from Thailand, Philippines, Korea, China, etc... And these are NOT travel settings or showing the airplane symbol indicating she's a traveler or from elsewhere. It looks more like a scam to convince people that a woman is from the local area, when she's not.

If SKOUT is working for some of you guys, I will just have to take your word for it, but I have strong doubts about that application.
 
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The only thing you're right about is the location feature which is buggy in the profile but spot on in the buzz section.
I've used both Tinder and Skout very extensively (I have 3 accounts on Tinder with all the existing women profiles already swiped and I've messaged hundreds of women on Skout).
I think I have a very good undestanding of both applications :)

On Skout you don't need a match to send a message.
Most Tinder profiles are left blank and women there think they are the best shit on earth just like on OkCupid.

The comments you're refering to range from "beautiful", "You're sexy!"
... etc , not that creepy if you ask me. Never saw a sexually oriented one.

Well, today I'll have sex with a Skout girl anyway :)
 
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