Mostly dating apps because I don't really feel like going out by myself and none of my friends are looking for someone. I know dating apps are the worst but in Japan my options are limited...
Except this time, I wasn't looking for anyone, it just happened, like you describe.
I'm tempted to think age also plays a part... I think in my teens and twenties I had stronger attractions but since I had no self-esteem and couldn't be bothered with the whole process of dating, seduction and all that, I always ended up with whatever girl or guy I could pick up in a club or bar rather the people I was most attracted to. Maybe I missed on the years when desire is at its strongest... I always feel incredibly sad when I watch those "coming of age" movies because I feel like they depict passion and attraction in a way that can only be experienced below a certain age. Or maybe only by people other than me.
I know that I’m very young compared to most people on this board, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I always thought that older people had an easier time finding the right partner. They might be more experienced in dating and can know exactly what they want.
When you’re young, sometimes you’re not realistic and you set so many standards that it turns away a lot of potential dates that you may actually like, or you accept anyone because you haven’t built your confidence or self-esteem yet. As you become older, you could have a better, realistic view on love/romance.
I understand how the idea of lovey-dovey relationships can be attractive, but personally, I don’t think it’s healthy because it’s not very realistic in the long-run. There will be times when you’ll get mad at your partner, and times where your partner will hurt you emotionally, whether intentional or not. I’m not saying that these relationships don’t exist, but I imagine that they’d be so hard to maintain because they would try too hard to keep it perfect.
One of the best things about dating is that you can just relax and enjoy it. Take your time to feel comfortable with that person. If you don’t want to waste your time, you can always multi-date as well. Try having dinner/drinks with at least 3-5 people every week if your schedule is flexible.
Oh, and if you feel the most comfortable with dating apps and haven’t tried it yet, OkCupid might be your best bet. From what other TAG users have said, it seems like the people there aren’t trying to look for a one night stand. I don’t know if Coffee Meets Bagel is popular in Japan, but it’s supposed to be an app focusing more on women who are looking for meaningful relationships. You could also try Meetup.com for events at any time of the day if you’re willing to give it a try.