What do we pay for?

[Frenchy]

Sorry this will sound a bit rant-y

Not about how great or lousy the BJ and the rest were

Just about where my money will go

I know, Should be none of my concern right? Cash went from my hands to hers, should not be my problem anymore. And a bit hypocritical to give morality lessons when I pay so much for sex, basically

However, in this age when at my job ALL expenses are scrutinized : is it ethical? , ecological? moral? fairly awarded? no child labor, no tax evasion, no animal mistreated? is it transparent? Will it profit Iran or North Korea or whatever other disgusting dictatorship like , say, Saudi Arabia (ah, no sorry , those are OK)
bla bla bla ...

... I don’t think the way my money is used by P4P ladies should be such a taboo subject

So after a few years of screwing up on this and many other P4P topics these are now my rules. Simple: bad, neutral, good.

BAD:

1. Supporting a deadbeat BF or host or her own broke sugar-baby if you will. Dude, if you’re just a little post-adolescent cunt with a 6-pack, looking good on a ski slope or beach or host bar or dance floor but not much else... then sorry you don’t deserve my cash , fuck off! At your age , I had a real job and did not depend on anyone.

2. Booze, drugs, partying, brand items, cults...

3. Needless to say because thats what should be avoided the most: human traffickers, pimps, criminals etc


NEUTRAL

Travel, apartment, groceries and other living essentials


GOOD

Investment , Education, healthcare, self-improvement Family support (kids especially), charity, start-up business

What do you guys think?

 

[BB0523]

Well @Frenchy .. I understand your comments and yes, once the money changes hands, then it's the receiver's and they can do with it as they like...
What bother's me the most is that they don't put anything away for a "rainy" day... they think the tap will not run dry and the more they get the more they spend. OK, that's their prerogative.
I've heard a couple stories where guys were sending money to women around $3,000/month and the women were located in low cost parts of SE Asia and living could be done for quite comfortable level at 1/3 of that...
When the "relationship" ended, then the girl was at her wits end.. trying to beg the guy to come back that they love them, etc... and I'm thinking it's probably because the money stopped. Whereas if they would have saved 1/3 of what was given to them they would still have a sizeable "nest egg" to tide them until they could sort out their issues - ie: find another SD, sucker, chump, whatever you want to call him.

This is the most frustrating aspect I have seen... not 1st hand but from a mate of mine.

 

[Desktop]

Don’t spend what you’ll regret giving after it leaves your hands.

 

[warubuta]

If your giving money to a person who is selling (mainly) her body to you (instead of working at a ‘legit’ job) and you are expecting this money to be used responsibly, or even thoughtfully, or in a way that would lead to self betterment or world betterment, then you are going to be disappointed. The noble wh**re exists only in Hollywood and before that, in fiction.

 

[C4ssandra]

When I was a student and sugared, all cash that entered my hands went towards living expenses, textbooks and extra curricular activities. Perhaps the occasional shopping trip but I was pretty careful about not going out. However I don't think less of SBs that do things differently.

I am curious though..do you feel the same way about your barber? Would you be as frustrated if he were using your money for drugs? At the end of the day, an SB is providing a service and you are a customer. Perhaps you wouldn't feel as attached to your barber because the dynamic is different, and if you are invested in supporting your SB's dreams I can understand the frustration that your support is being squandered.

I suppose it depends on exactly how close the two of you are. If it's just PPM twice a month or so, I don't think that you are entitled to your frustration over how she spends the money because at that point she's just your escort in everything but name. However, if you two have more of a boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic and you are genuinely doing your best to get her through school I think she owes you some sort of proof of where your money is going (like proof of rent payment, tuition payment etc).

 

[Frenchy]

When I was a student and sugared, all cash that entered my hands went towards living expenses, textbooks and extra curricular activities. Perhaps the occasional shopping trip but I was pretty careful about not going out. However I don't think less of SBs that do things differently.

I am curious though..do you feel the same way about your barber? Would you be as frustrated if he were using your money for drugs? At the end of the day, an SB is providing a service and you are a customer. Perhaps you wouldn't feel as attached to your barber because the dynamic is different, and if you are invested in supporting your SB's dreams I can understand the frustration that your support is being squandered.

I suppose it depends on exactly how close the two of you are. If it's just PPM twice a month or so, I don't think that you are entitled to your frustration over how she spends the money because at that point she's just your escort in everything but name. However, if you two have more of a boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic and you are genuinely doing your best to get her through school I think she owes you some sort of proof of where your money is going (like proof of rent payment, tuition payment etc).

Yes, you’re right, really depends on the closeness with that person. So one of the many reasons I don’t want to be that close to a SB anymore.

It’s not so much about getting proof that the money is « well-spent » , rather feeling that at least its not completely squandered away.

Once when I parted with a lady she told me tearfully she was really broke, I felt some pity and gave her a bit of money... first thing she did with it (and whatever cash she earnt from other guys the following week) was to pay a ticket to Tokyo for her own BF to come see her, supposedly she needed to be consoled... Or more probably the trip was already arranged beforehand (and she was lying about not wanting a BF while sugaring).
Not sure and don’t care anymore. But I really had the feeling my dough helped support two sugar babies in fact : her... and him! That really infuriated me. Could have been offered at least a 3P then , right?
(Just kidding)

 

[Frenchy]

Don’t spend what you’ll regret giving after it leaves your hands.

Lets be honest , most of us who spent on P4P in this forum (meaning... most of us ) had such regrets many times I’m sure. Can’t always be Winning as our beloved Charlie Sheen would say....

 

[MikeH]

Sorry this will sound a bit rant-y

What do you guys think?

No worries, it didn't sound a bit rant-y. But a lot. And I think that you think too much.

This is of course because you let the SBs too close to yourself for your own good. If I buy a bread I don't care if the baker uses the money I give to buy crack or to buy baby formula for her kids.

But also if she comes to me with a sob story about needing to buy milk for her baby and could I please spare some cash I don't think I am paying for the bread anymore but giving as a charity. More likely not giving though, but moving my business to another bakery where they don't hassle me with begging money.

 

[Frenchy]

No worries, it didn't sound a bit rant-y. But a lot. And I think that you think too much.

This is of course because you let the SBs too close to yourself for your own good. If I buy a bread I don't care if the baker uses the money I give to buy crack or to buy baby formula for her kids.

But also if she comes to me with a sob story about needing to buy milk for her baby and could I please spare some cash I don't think I am paying for the bread anymore but giving as a charity. More likely not giving though, but moving my business to another bakery where they don't hassle me with begging money.

Ah ah, thanks for putting me back on the right path, as always.
Yeah, typical sunday evening blues’ rant for nothing really important.
And now time to earn that dough instead of bitching about how it will be spent...

 

[AnotherTag]

Well it's their income so they can do whatever they like. It's like the employers asking the employees where are you spending your money and why are you spending on SA, DH, soaplands

It's interesting to find out but at the end of day it's their money and they earned it so they can spend however they want, but yeah, if they are spending them on their deadbeat boyfriends or buying too many luxury items I guess I would be sad maybe? If they are using the money to better themselves for education or whatever I would be happy? Now I feel like I am forcing my own idology into how they should spend their money haha.

 

[Frenchy]

Well it's their income so they can do whatever they like. It's like the employers asking the employees where are you spending your money and why are you spending on SA, DH, soaplands

It's interesting to find out but at the end of day it's their money and they earned it so they can spend however they want, but yeah, if they are spending them on their deadbeat boyfriends or buying too many luxury items I guess I would be sad maybe? If they are using the money to better themselves for education or whatever I would be happy? Now I feel like I am forcing my own idology into how they should spend their money haha.

Thanks for your thoughts. Of course they’re free. I’m not trying to force anything on anyone, but now it’s definitely a factor in who I chose to spend time and money with. I’m not proud of how I spend it, just don’t want the extra ickiness of knowing its not even used reasonably by the recipient.

 

[Durg50]

1. Supporting a deadbeat BF or host or her own broke sugar-baby if you will. Dude, if you’re just a little post-adolescent cunt with a 6-pack, looking good on a ski slope or beach or host bar or dance floor but not much else... then sorry you don’t deserve my cash , fuck off! At your age , I had a real job and did not depend on anyone.

Hmm, I wondered why you had such a bone to pick with a specific independant that no longer advertises here.

 

[Frenchy]

Hmm, I wondered why you had such a bone to pick with a specific independant that no longer advertises here.

Not her, and not important who it is.
Actually it happened to me more than once, and I’m sure to others on this forum as well.
I don’t really mind if there is a BF or other SDs for that matter, as long as there is no lying : the guy knows about the sugaring or escorting activity and is OK(-ish) with it , he’s not a pimp, no exclusivity given to anyone who could get pissed off if they find the truth etc...
oh yeah, and not spending too much time online with the other guys while I am with the lady. Seems reasonable requests don’t you think? If ok then fine she can have her own sugar boy, not my problem. And I will just assume my money is going to pay for the more worthy expenses (rent, tuition, gym etc)

 

[AnotherTag]

oh yeah, and not spending too much time online with the other guys while I am with the lady. Seems reasonable requests don’t you think? If ok then fine she can have her own sugar boy, not my problem.

That's totally a red flag, sorry to hear that. The girl doesn't know how to manage her time between her guys. I mean, it's still a money for time exchange and if she couldn't devote 100% of the attention to you when you were together then yeah she's doing it wrong and should probably not try to be with more guys than she's willing to. I would be pissed if that's the case and probably just cut off the relationship, however shallow it was.

 

[Frenchy]

That's totally a red flag, sorry to hear that. The girl doesn't know how to manage her time between her guys. I mean, it's still a money for time exchange and if she couldn't devote 100% of the attention to you when you were together then yeah she's doing it wrong and should probably not try to be with more guys than she's willing to. I would be pissed if that's the case and probably just cut off the relationship, however shallow it was.

Well tbh I was starting to think way too much about other ladies too when with her...

 

[MikeH]

Well tbh I was starting to think way too much about other ladies too when with her...

And that's when you also start to think why not be with the others instead and so paying her seems like a waste? Anyways whether you pay her or she pays you or you just decide it's even and nobody pays nobody the most important thing to learn is to be with the other person. And not be somewhere else like on your phone or managing your tax deferred REIT accounts or doing your laundry list in your head.

I can manage that for several hours at a time. And that's why I prefer dates that long. And of course the old answer to the question in the title is "and after that I pay for her to leave".

 

[Frenchy]

And not be somewhere else like on your phone or managing your tax deferred REIT accounts or doing your laundry list in your head.
".

you really are a dirty perverted man Mikey. I have read a lot of disgusting things from you but this is pushing it a bit too far

 

[MikeH]

you really are a dirty perverted man Mikey.

Thanks honey, I love you too!

 

[User#25797]

Wow, yet again here we are.. you bashing me online. What I or any other provider spends their money on is absolutely none of your business.

 

[User#25797]

Also I want to set this straight, we had an arrangement that I would spend 6 days a month with you, in January I spent 7 but you chose to not give me my allowance as you thought you’d spent too much on the 2 week holiday we went on. Totally screwing me. Then when you found out that my ex boyfriend was here (after we’d FINISHED our arrangement) because you stalked his Facebook, you went ballistic with jealousy, then messaged my ex boyfriend forcing me to tell him everything, then messaged my other long term SD via his other SB screwing it for all of us. Everything I was honest with you about you used against me. I didn’t once use anything you told me to hurt you despite all of the times you’ve shown zero discretion towards me. Just move on.

 

[User#25797]

For anyone else that’s reading this I’m only reacting so harshly because this entire post is directed at me. I’m sure because Frenchy has stalked my Facebook, seen a picture of me and my ex and now has been compelled by another fit of jealousy to go on another rant about how much of a trash person I am.

 

[Frenchy]

Just move on.

I did , you did not apparently.
Never contacted your other - supposedly exclusive- SD (and his other SB contacted ME first)
And just “liked” a post on your sweetheart’s FB, could have easily just ignored it, never forced you to disclose anything.
But thanks for stalking me here too

 

[just4fun]

FUCK!!!! I was about to think about what I wanted for dinner but now I've got popcorn started. This episode looks good.

 

[User#25797]

I can get a screen shot of the message you sent him...

 

[User#25797]

Talking extensively about all of the things I’d told you in confidence is very different from “she contacted me” she didn’t know me nor I her until you got involved.