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[User#16452]

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[just4fun]

Oh boy.............
1st time - It was the right thing to do (fuckin stupid)
No NEVER!!!
2nd Financial arrangement/parole reduction (not mine)
Hmmmm I learned a lot.....and became who I am I feel so maybe........highly maybe in fact.
3rd Trophy Wife- Because at the time I could.
Still good friends.......We could still live together.....a good human being. Definitely!!!
4th Easier life - When opportunity knocks right?
Never look a gift horse in the mouth as the say........probably not.

 

[User#8628]

Marriage itself doesn't mean so much to me. In Japan i'd do it for the visa if i like a guy and want to stay with him.
But if it was my own country, living together is pretty much the same thing.. Seems unnecessary to get married.

 

[User#16452]

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[User#8628]

I think depending on someone else for the ability to stay in a country is a very risky situation to be in, especially when you can take a job or be a student instead. It's a legal contract, and unless you have an iron-clad prenup, you risk losing half of everything you own and taking half of someone else's debts if you separate.

Marriage visa is really relaxed compared to the very restricted study and work visas.
But yes, that are cons.

 

[R.O.B]

Good bloody questions. You might want to add, "3. And why do you stay married?"

1. We seemed just right. Wrong. Sometimes what attracts you to a person can turn to poison.
2. Girl I should have married broke off because I was not settling. She got back to me in tears 3 days after I started living with my wife to be.
3. Kids, mortgage, I like my house and she would strip me of pride and money because she is a very intelligent, vindictive bitch.

Bad timing...

 

[Wwanderer]

Some of you have heard the story from me in detail, but for this public forum suffice it to say that the reason I got married in the first place is that my life was spinning out of control and rather clearly headed for a hard crash landing when I met the woman I later married. She somehow inspired or forced me to get my shit together and make something of myself...basically to assert some modicum of control over my vices and apply myself to my opportunities a bit. I cannot know and can hardly imagine what trajectory my life would have taken otherwise had I not met her and stuck with her, but it seems unlikely that it would have been pretty.

Would I do it over again, those issues aside? I am not sure. Some days I think so, others not. But as I explained in the first bullet point of this post

http://www.tokyoadultguide.com/threads/does-your-wife-know-you-p4p.10409/#post-54334

long term or permanent marriages (or primary partner relationships) have many aspects and strengths that are rarely apparent to those who have not experienced them. Basically having a strong partner can be a major advantage in many contexts and parts of life.

-Ww

 

[User#16452]

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[R.O.B]

Totally agree with the last Ww sentence. Sometimes you pay for it, though.

 

[User#6517]

Don't think I'd ever want to settle down and get married either..

I prefer to do almost everything by myself.. mainly because my parents raised me to be independent. They also feel uncomfortable and sometimes angry if I bring up anything marriage/dating-related..

I started working at factories after turning 15, started paying for my own food and rent after my first paycheck, left my parents' home a few months after getting my high school diploma, and now saving up to get that bachelor's degree by doing this cool, yet sometimes weird, thing called escorting.. haha

Sometimes I do daydream about getting married.. but at the end of the day, I think it's best for me to be single. I don't want to commit to someone, or have someone else control the money I earn. I want to be able to travel frequently and I want to make my own decisions without someone possibly disagreeing with them.

For kids though, married or not, I'd love to adopt a kid when I'm older and even better financially! I actually want to be a single mom..

 

[Wwanderer]

Totally agree with the last Ww sentence. Sometimes you pay for it, though.

Too true...

-Ww

 

[User#16452]

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[Sudsy]

1st time I will chalk up to being young and very, very stupid. Truth be told, I was raised a country boy, and by the time I got hitched probably 2/3 of my graduating class already had kids. I've since unlearned many of my country ways... and not to get involved with a woman until you've learned whether or not she's on psychoactive medications, and which ones. Thorazine = run for the hills!

The 2nd time, after a long break from married life, it felt right, and we're generally very good partners for each other. Among other things, she tolerates ocassional P4P adventures as long as I don't break the bank and stick to professionals. Sugar dating is out of bounds. Oh, and she likes my cooking, which is good, because the kitchen is mine.

 

[just4fun]

This is a lot like me. I moved abroad when I was 18 after finishing highschool. I went back to Scotland for university and took loans to cover living costs (no tuition fees). I am now completely debt free. I don't want to have to

Don't think I'd ever want to settle down and get married either..

I prefer to do almost everything by myself.. mainly because my parents raised me to be independent. They also feel uncomfortable and sometimes angry if I bring up anything marriage/dating-related..

I started working at factories after turning 15, started paying for my own food and rent after my first paycheck, left my parents' home a few months after getting my high school diploma, and now saving up to get that bachelor's degree by doing this cool, yet sometimes weird, thing called escorting.. haha

Sometimes I do daydream about getting married.. but at the end of the day, I think it's best for me to be single. I don't want to commit to someone, or have someone else control the money I earn. I want to be able to travel frequently and I want to make my own decisions without someone possibly disagreeing with them.

For kids though, married or not, I'd love to adopt a kid when I'm older and even better financially! I actually want to be a single mom..

I heard these tails from my so called peers growing up and then I hear how they died alone.......I'll pass on that.......I'll take my chances sharing me with whoever really wants me.......

 

[User#16452]

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[Wwanderer]

I heard these tails from my so called peers growing up and then I hear how they died alone.......I'll pass on that.......I'll take my chances sharing me with whoever really wants me.......

Yeah, there aren't many of them, but no one I know in my age bracket (over 60 let's say) whe never married or took a "permanent" SO is a happy camper now. Does this mean you should marry at an earlier age when the institution doesn't attract you? Probably not imo. But you might want to keep in mind where you are headed. Those who are perfectly self-sufficient on their own when they are young do not necessarily end up that way decades later...rarely so as far as I can judge.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

My plan is to have a sugar toy boy. I'm actually quite looking forward to it.

That may work fine for sex and fun/partying/entertainment, but those are probably less than 10% of the function/"value" of a long term life partner.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

This is a lot like me. I moved abroad when I was 18 after finishing highschool. I went back to Scotland for university and took loans to cover living costs (no tuition fees). I am now completely debt free. I don't want to have to sacrifice all the savings and items I have worked hard for, sometimes with pretty awful jobs (for the most part, I would not consider escorting to be included in this).

A spouse is more often a financial asset, not a drain, I'd think...though I don't know any stats either way. Mine just saved me (and her) a rather considerable sum by catching a small oversight of mine.

-Ww

 

[User#16452]

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[User#16452]

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[Wwanderer]

Asset in what way? The example you give is not really exclusive to a spouse.

Oh nothing exotic...all the usual/obvious stuff. Sharing common expenses (economy of scale). Another income, which may be higher than your own. Someone to inspire or pressure you to earn when you lose steam. Tax breaks in many countries. Taking over some of life's other chores and responsibilities to allow you to concentrate on your career or education at critical points. Etc.

As for my example, it is not important since it is just a single anecdotal event, but in fact the oversight she caught could not have been noticed by anyone who wasn't privy to details of my finances...not likely to be anyone other than a spouse or equivalent in that particular case.

-Ww

 

[User#16452]

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[lennylenny]

i started dating my (ex) wife on january 2014, and we got married after 4 months of dating, so she could come to japan with me. i came to work for my countries government here, and if we got married she would get thsame status as me (visa, tickets and all) so we took the leap of faith, but after 3 years it didnt turn out good, unfortunately. So, im filing for the divorce. Her not wanting to divorce is making this not the worse, but a very bad experience in my life, but i dont see it as preventing me from getting married again. If i feel like it, i know i will do it. Im kinda stubborn.

But, before her, i was 7 years single by my own will, no dating, just hooking up and working on myself. like my career and stuff like that.

 

[Wwanderer]

Which is?

See the first bullet in this post for a (very partial) list of some of the other roles a life partner serves:

http://www.tokyoadultguide.com/threads/does-your-wife-know-you-p4p.10409/#post-54334

I feel like you seem to think that those who are unmarried have no idea what the life of a husband and wife is like. Most of us grew up in households with married parents, many have siblings who have married, have been in co-habiting relationships ourselves and also have access to the accounts of others.

Not "no idea" o f course, but to the extent I can judge from the insights expressed by people who aren't married and have never been in a long term relationship, the understanding is partial and mostly intellectual. I also strongly suspect that there is a strong anti-correlation between disinclination to marry and the success/quality of the marriages with which the person has direct personal experience. Put a bit more clearly, it is conventional wisdom and likely true (imo) that the children of "bad"/negative marriages are less likely to want to marry themselves than those of "good"/positive ones. Obviously I do not mean this to apply to any particular person (there could be a lot of other reasons) nor does it imply that one type of experience is "right" and the other "wrong", but it does mean that "the sample size is small" if you base your decisions on personal experience with a small number of cases where you have direct knowledge.

-Ww

 

[lennylenny]

Don't think I'd ever want to settle down and get married either..

I prefer to do almost everything by myself.. mainly because my parents raised me to be independent. They also feel uncomfortable and sometimes angry if I bring up anything marriage/dating-related..

I started working at factories after turning 15, started paying for my own food and rent after my first paycheck, left my parents' home a few months after getting my high school diploma, and now saving up to get that bachelor's degree by doing this cool, yet sometimes weird, thing called escorting.. haha

Sometimes I do daydream about getting married.. but at the end of the day, I think it's best for me to be single. I don't want to commit to someone, or have someone else control the money I earn. I want to be able to travel frequently and I want to make my own decisions without someone possibly disagreeing with them.

For kids though, married or not, I'd love to adopt a kid when I'm older and even better financially! I actually want to be a single mom..

THIS.

thats how i think about commiting seriously to someone right now. u spilled it all out, even the adopting a kid part of it hahaha

but, since im a man, its a bit more complicated to adopt being single.