.

[User#16452]

.

 

[Wwanderer]

I would argue that a STD is more likely to occur than the sex-worker getting pregnant and having the baby.

I hear what you are saying and take your point, but something being more likely does not mean that people are more afraid of it. And, as a reminder, @Anna Summer 's question was

It's always a bit surprising me that many guys are more afraid to make a girl pregnant than catching an STD/STI.... Can anybody explain this to me?

Do you have another explanation to suggest?

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

One escort accepting to offer bareback services puts all the other escorts working at risk as many gentlemen will see several different escorts, as the review section shows.

I guess you are thinking of broken condoms? Otherwise how are the "other escorts" put at risk as long as *they* insist on condoms, regardless of whether or not there are some escorts who offer BB services?

If condoms are used carefully and correctly (right size, properly worn, good lubrication, good quality ones etc), the failure rate is tiny, and the chance of catching anything that condoms stop (they don't stop everything) is minute I am fairly sure.

-Ww

 

[john.smith]

It's always a bit surprising me that many guys are more afraid to make a girl pregnant than catching an STD/STI.... Can anybody explain this to me?

Catching the STD/STI will kill you fast. A pregnant girl will kill you slowly.

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[Anna Summer]

Interesting to see the opinions to my question.
When someone insisted to skip the condom they never cared about catching something and always considered I'm clean and said so about themselves. But once I say, that I don't want to get pregnant, the fear in their eyes is (excuse me...) hilarious! And they have the condom faster on than I can blink.

But I also heard about people catching something even tho they used condoms with the person.

I think it's a high risks still to skip protection, like playing Russian roulette. Same as @User#16452 , I don't even have unprotected sex in private life unless it's a longtime partner and we both are tested and continue to get tested in the future.

 

[John Chavers]

He is discreet about it, but I can't imagine how many children TJB has already !

 

[e-smile]

If she got an abortion she still got pregnant first... I think one fear of guys is that a girl will ask them to pay for their abortion.

Sex workers should definitely take birthcontrol if they are able to in my opinion, just to be extra safe.
However not everyone in Japan is responsible about that, although it has been getting better and better fast.

Yes, with some girls it takes months or years, but with some it hits home the first time. Not so different than common stds imo. I know about people who have been doing unprotected sex for months in a row and never got anything. I'd say its about equal chance.

I think boys are more affraid by the idea she would want to keep the boy than by the abortion fees.

 

[e-smile]

There is a chance that what they have caught has not shown up yet. HIV for example takes 3 months to show up. HPV can take years. If your friend is having unprotected sex with strangers I would highly advise that you suggest they stop.

If they are an escort, I would request it. One escort accepting to offer bareback services puts all the other escorts working at risk as many gentlemen will see several different escorts, as the review section shows.

she put many gentlemen at risks too, I think it was worth mentionning

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[Sinapse]

Hells to the mother ef'n no!

^
What he said. If the girl is in anyway a part of night life, whether that means going to clubs regularly, drinking a lot, and especially working in night life / the industry, there's no way I'm hitting it raw..

If its someone I trust and have developed a longer relationship with, then yeah that sh%t feels great and I love it.

 

[e-smile]

Good point. I hate the idea that I might pass something onto a gentleman. Not only because of disease, but it might break up a marriage by showing evidence of "cheating". Not to mention the risk of infertility (chlamydia) and a lower life expectancy (HIV).

I don't see the marriage breaking part as a problem, I don't have a religious vision of marriage and I consider divorce to be a solution rather than a problem. a lasting bad marriage is a problem, a divorce is not.

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[Goshogawara]

Not with an escort. Did it nama once at a soapland because I was inexperienced and stupid. Afterwards the lady told me it's fine, she gets checked twice a month and had a hysterectomy...

Although I have to admit that insisting on a condom is not easy with the princess climbing on top of you and naughtily asking "ゴム要る？" .

 

[Manny]

I'm not worried about pregnancies because my pullout game is strong but I don't want to catch an apocalypse std that'll make my crotch fall off. I love eating pussy but no offense I'm not doing that on any escort either. I'm sure some of y'all are clean but the only woman riding my face with her crotch is a steady gf.

 

[Wwanderer]

Intercourse is not the only way that STDs can be transmitted. Kissing, oral sex, cuts, etc.

Indeed so, and kissing, especially DFK, can also transmit many serious infectious diseases which are not STDs.

Refraining from kissing entirely or limiting it to very light kissing (lips closed with minimal saliva transfer) with sex partners in escort encounters (or other promiscuous contexts such as swinging) would probably reduce the health risks more than occasional lapses in using condoms increases it. This is one of the reasons many escorts try to minimize kissing of their customers, although most do it quite freely.

What's more, I have seen many people incorrectly put on condoms (without squeezing the tip to prevent air bubbles) and seen Western condoms be too loose for Japanese men (I carry multiple sizes and will discard a first try if need be). The small failure rate only applies to perfect use.

Your practice is wise and common among escorts. Any escort who wishes to minimize the health risks of vaginal or anal intercourse should be at pains to make sure that her customers are wearing a proper fitting condom which is put on correctly as well as being sure that all penetrations begin and stay very well lubricated, whether naturally or artificially. Many escorts insist on putting the condoms on their customers and adding lube, if and when needed, themselves.

Taking this sort of approach is the only practical one for protecting yourself; there is no way that any escort can control what other escorts do in private with their customers...or even know (in most cases) which other escorts their customers have seen in any complete sense. For example, even if no "TAG-active" escort ever had unprotected intercourse with their clients or anyone else, many/most of the customers they see will have been with escorts from BP or agencies or in other countries or ... who have no TAG presence at all, don't even know that it exists. Very fortunately and as mentioned before, insisting that you have properly and carefully protected sex with your own customers is *extremely* effective in reducing the risks of relevant STDs (those that are stopped by condoms), so there isn't much need to do what cannot be done (i.e., control the practices of other escorts).

While it is true that using a condom would greatly decrease this risk, I must ask if you yourself would happily have protected sex with someone high risk?

It depends on what is meant by "high risk". For example, if the it meant someone hooked on intravenous drugs and showing symptoms of active AIDS, I wouldn't be.

However, if "high risk" means an escort who occasionally offers BB services to some of her customers (according to her own sense of what is acceptable risk etc), then my answer is definitely "yes". I have done so in the past. Moreover, I have had *unprotected* intercourse on a regular basis over a period of many years with an escort who was "high risk" in the latter sense; neither of us ever caught anything. I also have had unprotected oral sex (giving and receiving) and practiced DFK with hundreds of partners in both p4p and np4p contexts, many of whom I'd just met and who themselves had quite promiscuous sex lives, over a period of decades. Again, I never caught anything.

Now to be clear, I realize that I am far more risk tolerant than most people and that my practices are not reasonable/comfortable for everyone, but imo they do show that unprotected sex of various sorts is not nearly as dangerous as many people appear to think. Some seem to feel that it is virtually suicidal. From my perspective, conventional wisdom about the use of condoms is a testimony to the effectiveness of public health and anti-sexual propaganda in scaring people and to most people's susceptibility to allowing fear to control their behavior.

-Ww

 

[e-smile]

Personally I do not support the idea of marriage at all, whether a "good" or "bad" marriage. However, I think it is important to support the wishes of others. If someone feels that it is best for them to maintain their marriage by seeing an escort then I do not want to be the cause of a divorce.

the someone married who see an escort isn't too keen on his wish to maintain the marriage. he knows he's taking a risk. more over the cause of divorce wouldn't be the how he was busted but rather the what he was busted for.
the divorce may be good for him and he don't know or doesn't want to take the decision by himself.
anyway, the ending marriage seems the be a minor concern compared to the std itself.

 

[Solong]

If they are an escort, I would request it. One escort accepting to offer bareback services puts all the other escorts working at risk as many gentlemen will see several different escorts, as the review section shows.

I disagree, with what one sex-worker does, put's all other escorts at risk. The relationships are separate. The sex-worker and customer has to agree to go raw. If others are protecting themselves, then those that go raw should be of no concern to their business.

If X is driving with no seat belt, that's different from if Y is always using their's.

she put many gentlemen at risks too, I think it was worth mentionning

And if the customer wants to engage in mutually risky behavior, then they are equally accountable for whatever happens. She can only put those at risks who choose to do so.

 

[Solong]

Now to be clear, I realize that I am far more risk tolerant than most people and that my practices are not reasonable/comfortable for everyone, but imo they do show that unprotected sex of various sorts is not nearly as dangerous as many people appear to think. Some seem to feel that it is virtually suicidal. From my perspective, conventional wisdom about the use of condoms is a testimony to the effectiveness of public health and anti-sexual propaganda in scaring people and to most people's susceptibility to allowing fear to control their behavior.

-Ww

I do partially agree with an element of your argument. I think people can get whacky and go too far to the other end, where their fear and paranoia is unjustified. Life is risky. And there are lot of ways to die, and sooner or later... Hiding from life, doesn't necessarily make you safer and can reduce it's quality.

Condom sex and overly protective sex, can often be bad or unsatisfying sex. It can create too many limitations, where the enjoyment of it is taken away.

I also think that being in a relationship, requires trust and creates accountability. That's almost as an important level of protection as a condom. If you know who your partner is, their name, where they live, their contact info, have established trust, etc... They are usually more afraid to pass something bad to others that care about and know them, because they are accountable and identifiable.

 

[User#8628]

There is a chance that what they have caught has not shown up yet. HIV for example takes 3 months to show up. HPV can take years. If your friend is having unprotected sex with strangers I would highly advise that you suggest they stop.

If they are an escort, I would request it. One escort accepting to offer bareback services puts all the other escorts working at risk as many gentlemen will see several different escorts, as the review section shows.

I don't work with her, she worked at a nama soapland for a while. And i heard some stories of partying scene and stuff but its mostly past time. Anyway nama is not uncommon in Japan and i can advice people what to do but its still their own life. None particulary close friend of me.

Even while doing it unprotected there is more change not to get HIV than to actually get it, in japan.

And some people get something from the first time they do it, some people do risky stuff the whole time and never get anything. Its completely random but of course its best to take no risks and protect yourself.

 

[Wwanderer]

I also have had unprotected oral sex (giving and receiving) and practiced DFK with hundreds of partners in both p4p and np4p contexts, many of whom I'd just met and who themselves had quite promiscuous sex lives, over a period of decades. Again, I never caught anything.

In retrospect, I realized that the above statement isn't literally correct. I should have said that "I never caught anything serious." Almost certainly I caught colds, some sore throats and perhaps even a flu or two from DFKing various women, including some "strangers". It was well worth it (to me).

-Ww

 

[dreams]

the someone married who see an escort isn't too keen on his wish to maintain the marriage. he knows he's taking a risk. more over the cause of divorce wouldn't be the how he was busted but rather the what he was busted for.
the divorce may be good for him and he don't know or doesn't want to take the decision by himself.
anyway, the ending marriage seems the be a minor concern compared to the std itself.

Disagree 100%.As I have already explained elsewhere on this forum seeing escorts s far better than having affairs, as regards to marriage.
I have been married 40+ years, happily, enjoying now in my old years a wonderful big family life. And this having had ( and still counting) 1000+ p4p relations. To each his own my Dear, you may be right as far as your own situation is concerned, but this does not mean that it is true for all. And I appreciated when one of our lovely escort on this site ( sorry, I dont remember which one, but I am sure all agree on that...) mentionned her concerns and respect for the choices of her client.

 

[e-smile]

Disagree 100%.As I have already explained elsewhere on this forum seeing escorts s far better than having affairs, as regards to marriage.
I have been married 40+ years, happily, enjoying now in my old years a wonderful big family life. And this having had ( and still counting) 1000+ p4p relations. To each his own my Dear, you may be right as far as your own situation is concerned, but this does not mean that it is true for all. And I appreciated when one of our lovely escort on this site ( sorry, I dont remember which one, but I am sure all agree on that...) mentionned her concerns and respect for the choices of her client.

I don't disagree with the fact P4P is better than having affair, it's safer and all.
but better or not you can't tell me someone married who uses P4P doesn't know he's doing something that may ruin his marriage. he's taking a risk just by seing an escort and if he doesn't use condom he's taking a lot more risks so either he's (consiously or unconsiously) willing to take the risk or he's really super naive.
and I still think if someone get busted and has to divorce, the cause of the divorce won't be the how he was busted but what he was busted for.
I also think it's not fair to share the responsibility with the escort. the escort doesn't owe anyone, it's the married guy's duty to do what it takes to keep the secret.

 

[nailedit]

No.

To have unprotected sex with a sex worker is morally wrong. It's wrong for me, wrong for her, and wrong for people we may have sex with in the future.

 

[Wwanderer]

To have unprotected sex with a sex worker is morally wrong. It's wrong for me, wrong for her, and wrong for people we may have sex with in the future.

Many, maybe even most, people think commercial sex itself is morally wrong, but it is unwise to let others determine what is morally wrong for you imo.

-Ww