Brand New American In Tokyo Where Is The Best Place To Meet Women?

[BigDumbAmerican]

So I just got to Japan last week. I am livong/working in Fussa. I speak very little Japanese but am trying my hardest to learn. I don't want to be single. I'd like to meet an attractive girl who speaks Japanese and knows Tokyo to show me a good time in and out of the bedroom. The only real way I have met women in the last couple years was using tinder. I read that approaching Japanese women in public is frowned upon and I haven't had much luck on tinder. I just need some advice. People also say "escorts" are legal but not really legal in Japan. What's the deal with that?

 

[TAG Manager]

People also say "escorts" are legal but not really legal in Japan. What's the deal with that?

Japan is notorious for its grey zones and this is one of them. But don't worry about it so much, it's a common thing that Japanese and foreigners use alike.

Finding girls -- you just need to figure out what's in your area as far as clubs and bars go, that's one way to start. Apps are 50/50 with some reported success but it's results are really variable. Tinder is more a chat app or meeting new friends rather than looking for a BF or GF in Japan at least. SKOUT (or SKOUT+) is another app that's fairly open and there are quite a mix of people on there that you can meet and chat with. Outside of that, there are a few other choices such as dating sites and whatnot.

Approaching girls in public can work, but some girls get really embarrassed when a foreigner starts talking to her in public in front of other people. If you're doing it in a nightlife area, it's probably not so bad...

These are just my views and there are tons of other people around here with the same or differing views on your goals.

 

[ChrisP86]

Japan is notorious for its grey zones and this is one of them. But don't worry about it so much, it's a common thing that Japanese and foreigners use alike.

Finding girls -- you just need to figure out what's in your area as far as clubs and bars go, that's one way to start. Apps are 50/50 with some reported success but it's results are really variable. Tinder is more a chat app or meeting new friends rather than looking for a BF or GF in Japan at least. SKOUT (or SKOUT+) is another app that's fairly open and there are quite a mix of people on there that you can meet and chat with. Outside of that, there are a few other choices such as dating sites and whatnot.

Approaching girls in public can work, but some girls get really embarrassed when a foreigner starts talking to her in public in front of other people. If you're doing it in a nightlife area, it's probably not so bad...

These are just my views and there are tons of other people around here with the same or differing views on your goals.

Tinder is for chat and meeting new friends?
At least here in Europe (and US) is more an hook-up app. Some people may not be so much into the ONS, but still..if they are there is at least to be dating.

 

[TAG Manager]

Tinder is for chat and meeting new friends?
At least here in Europe (and US) is more an hook-up app. Some people may not be so much into the ONS, but still..if they are there is at least to be dating.

At least in Japan, Tinder is seen as a 'chatting' app with the chance of making a new friend. That, and a lot of people here don't understand how it works... speaking mainly about Japanese people here. The other non-Japanese people using Tinder in Japan, know how to use it. I've chatted with a number of tourists just passing through -- but that's really about as far as it's gotten, chatting.

When I say they don't know how it works... if you see a profile in Japanese or English that says "message me!" .... means that they don't understand that they have to 'like' people in order to find a match. (I corrected a Japanese friend of mine and explained that she had to actually "like" people to find a connection so that the chat would be enabled.)

 

[ChrisP86]

At least in Japan, Tinder is seen as a 'chatting' app with the chance of making a new friend. That, and a lot of people here don't understand how it works... speaking mainly about Japanese people here. The other non-Japanese people using Tinder in Japan, know how to use it. I've chatted with a number of tourists just passing through -- but that's really about as far as it's gotten, chatting.

When I say they don't know how it works... if you see a profile in Japanese or English that says "message me!" .... means that they don't understand that they have to 'like' people in order to find a match. (I corrected a Japanese friend of mine and explained that she had to actually "like" people to find a connection so that the chat would be enabled.)

I guess that if I use Tinder in Japan I will get disapointed...
I will try Skout then. Actually I am travelling back to Japan in less than 3 weeks and I wanted to set up those accounts before going. It has been some time since I used this apps , at least one year..and I am curious about how it would o in Japan.

 

[TAG Manager]

I guess that if I use Tinder in Japan I will get disapointed...
I will try Skout then. Actually I am travelling back to Japan in less than 3 weeks and I wanted to set up those accounts before going. It has been some time since I used this apps , at least one year..and I am curious about how it would o in Japan.

Skout has had some good results but beware of working girls who will chat you up and then say they need 'help' with tuition or something along those lines. You'll find a good mix of people on Skout -- just requires patience to get through the trash. I think some of the girls on there just post pics to get attention and comments from guys...or worse, they are Sakura-types, planted to keep people's attention.

Tinder isn't a complete waste... there is still a chance, it just make take some time. (oh and same rule applies, working girls are on Tinder too.)

 

[ChrisP86]

Skout has had some good results but beware of working girls who will chat you up and then say they need 'help' with tuition or something along those lines. You'll find a good mix of people on Skout -- just requires patience to get through the trash. I think some of the girls on there just post pics to get attention and comments from guys...or worse, they are Sakura-types, planted to keep people's attention.

Tinder isn't a complete waste... there is still a chance, it just make take some time. (oh and same rule applies, working girls are on Tinder too.)

I just realized your name is "Chris" too
Well I am not into sugar dating or anything. So If a girl start asking me money, is like..a dead end right there.
But yeah..Even when I used Tinder just for fun/curiosity on the US/Europe, I was quite surprise by the good (and quick) results! Even more if you can meet the girl like in a short time (when the interest is at his peak). And going for a short time..well I am looking for something like that. Not sure it will work..but I will try.

 

[TAG Manager]

Even when I used Tinder just for fun/curiosity on the US/Europe, I was quite surprise by the good (and quick) results!

Oh, no doubt... I travel to various parts of the world (I'm from the U.S. btw) and it's definitely a handy tool to meet some people in short order.

Nice to meet another Chris.

 

[ChrisP86]

Oh, no doubt... I travel to various parts of the world (I'm from the U.S. btw) and it's definitely a handy tool to meet some people in short order.

Nice to meet another Chris.

what about Plenty of Fish?
I tried to register on the site but damn it was long...Really long. And you can only pay for 2 months -.-
Anyway between Skout and Tinder, it should be enought

 

[TAG Manager]

what about Plenty of Fish?
I tried to register on the site but damn it was long...Really long. And you can only pay for 2 months -.-
Anyway between Skout and Tinder, it should be enought

Never even looked at PoF... But Japan Cupid is an option if you're getting into dating sites too. They all have mixed results... Japan Cupid has a Q&A system that goes on and on to help ''match" you to someone.

 

[User#8628]

Gyaruru is like the japanese version of tinder and not hard to use for foreigners.

 

[ChrisP86]

Gyaruru is like the japanese version of tinder and not hard to use for foreigners.

I will check it, thank you.

 

[User#6326]

I heard they all congregate in a warehouse SE of Azabu- Juban, sorry typing in a rush have to get there before they are all taken

 

[Solong]

Never even looked at PoF... But Japan Cupid is an option if you're getting into dating sites too. They all have mixed results... Japan Cupid has a Q&A system that goes on and on to help ''match" you to someone.

I think you are referring to OkCupid, which has the insane question and answer matching system that is about effective as dirt in finding women. You can find women, but it's not really because of your matching percentage. Hell, some women don't even fill out the questions and find plenty of guys based on their picture.

 

[DireWolf98]

what about Plenty of Fish?
I tried to register on the site but damn it was long...Really long. And you can only pay for 2 months -.-
Anyway between Skout and Tinder, it should be enought

Apples and Oranges, but I met a cute Korean university student in the US via POF. She used to send hot pics of herself via MMS when I was at work. We had a brief-but-hot physical relationship. Then she graduated and moved back to Seoul.

 

[TAG Manager]

I think you are referring to OkCupid, which has the insane question and answer matching system that is about effective as dirt in finding women. You can find women, but it's not really because of your matching percentage. Hell, some women don't even fill out the questions and find plenty of guys based on their picture.

You are correct; it's OkCupid... my bad.

 

[DireWolf98]

I heard they all congregate in a warehouse SE of Azabu- Juban, sorry typing in a rush have to get there before they are all taken

Sometimes they are hanging-out in front of Mamegen or Izakaya Azabu Juban

 

[DireWolf98]

Sometimes they are hanging-out in front of Mamegen or Izakaya Azabu Juban

That's a joke, but you can strike sparks anywhere if you stay alert. I have met girls on trains, in stations, at Starbucks, waiting on foot at intersections and walking around.

 

[NormalGuy]

I have met girls on trains, in stations, at Starbucks, waiting on foot at intersections and walking around

Yes, amazing things are these "women", it's amazing how you can find them in almost every place you find "men".
Sometimes I lose faith in mankind when I open the forums and read yet another "where can I meet women", "how can I talk to women" thread.

 

[User#8628]

Yes, amazing things are these "women", it's amazing how you can find them in almost every place you find "men".
Sometimes I lose faith in mankind when I open the forums and read yet another "where can I meet women", "how can I talk to women" thread.

True. Just treat women as people and see what will happen...

 

[Solong]

Yes, amazing things are these "women", it's amazing how you can find them in almost every place you find "men".
Sometimes I lose faith in mankind when I open the forums and read yet another "where can I meet women", "how can I talk to women" thread.

LOL! Feel the same way, but also sad. It's amazing how many men are socially or sexually cut off from women, where they feel a special place is necessary to talk to them. It alludes to a greater social problem.

 

[DireWolf98]

LOL! Feel the same way, but also sad. It's amazing how many men are socially or sexually cut off from women, where they feel a special place is necessary to talk to them. It alludes to a greater social problem.

Well, this is a can of worms.

There are so many factors involved, including shared interests. Sometimes, one must also weigh those two factors/subjects that one should never discuss at cocktail parties: Religion and Politics.

 

[ChrisP86]

Maybe the problem here is the language.
You take the assumption that the girl on the street will speak english, or that the guy will speak Japanese. I am quite open to go talk to girls I do not know, but is easier to brake the ice online, since the language barrier can be filtered. Or at least partially.

 

[roots reggae]

Maybe the problem here is the language.
You take the assumption that the girl on the street will speak english, or that the guy will speak Japanese. I am quite open to go talk to girls I do not know, but is easier to brake the ice online, since the language barrier can be filtered. Or at least partially.

From your posts above, my humble advice, you should heed:

Direwolf's post#18 above

User#8628's post#20 above

And be patient, relationships take time and personal investment.

 

[vondoom]

personal experience (mine and from observations): its by far easier to date when you dont really speak japanese... if youll never have to learn japanese is up to debate, but often japanese are more interested in foreigners, the less they know japanese...
sure, you can approach more women, when you speak the local language, but how many are really willing to date foreigners?

another personal experience: every woman i talked to online stopped talking to me after i made it clear, that im not going to speak english (or i just didnt reply in english)... its not my first language in the first place...

one thing that is good (or might be good) about dating apps: the people there are willing to date foreigners...
downside as usual: youll always get judged by your appearance...