Can you be a SB even if you are married?

[ItsmeM]

My question might be stupid but I used to be a SB way back before I got married and this boring married life lol (sorry am just being honest) plus this covid situation got me thinking if it is possible to be a SB even you are married? I know most of SD’s married too. Would it be possible to compromise and understand each other’s private life? Just wondering???

 

[TAG Manager]

It really doesn't matter. You just have to set boundaries and stick to them.
You will face pushy people who want to know more and if you don't want to talk about your private life, then don't.
From the SD side, you'll have people wanting their privacy and others who will spill everything to you... perhaps to get more of your info.

If you've done this before, you should have some idea of what to expect.

Just keep in mind, if you're doing this in Japan, you could face civil legal issues if the spouse of a SD (or your own spouse) catch wind of an affair (paid or not). However, I believe there is still a precedence if it's proven to be a monetary relationship, then the suit could fail.

It's better to keep in secret on both ends, fully.

 

[Frenchy]

Mine is . No big deal .

 

[ItsmeM]

It really doesn't matter. You just have to set boundaries and stick to them.
You will face pushy people who want to know more and if you don't want to talk about your private life, then don't.
From the SD side, you'll have people wanting their privacy and others who will spill everything to you... perhaps to get more of your info.

If you've done this before, you should have some idea of what to expect.

Just keep in mind, if you're doing this in Japan, you could face civil legal issues if the spouse of a SD (or your own spouse) catch wind of an affair (paid or not). However, I believe there is still a precedence if it's proven to be a monetary relationship, then the suit could fail.

It's better to keep in secret on both ends, fully.

Yes am familiar how it works, makes me wonder as culture here in japan is different plus I don’t speak Japanese lol, as much as possible I want to be discreet and private. Question is where to find a nice and understanding SD. Thanks for the reply by the way.

 

[ItsmeM]

Mine is . No big deal .

That’s amazing! Crossing my fingers to find an SD for me lol

 

[TAG Manager]

Yes am familiar how it works, makes me wonder as culture here in japan is different plus I don’t speak Japanese lol, as much as possible I want to be discreet and private. Question is where to find a nice and understanding SD. Thanks for the reply by the way.

Seeking Arrangement (seeking.com, Sugardaddy.jp.... to start with. If you don't speak Japanese, then Seeking is probably your best bet.)

 

[Ddddd]

If you want to make your SD know that you have attachments but you don't want to put them into legal trouble, maybe you can say that you have a boyfriend in your emails/messages and only mention that you are actually married when you are talking to them.

I guess that what is important is not to leave written evidence of the fact that your SD knows that you are married.

 

[ItsmeM]

If you want to make your SD know that you have attachments but you don't want to put them into legal trouble, maybe you can say that you have a boyfriend in your emails/messages and only mention that you are actually married when you are talking to them.

I guess that what is important is not to leave written evidence of the fact that your SD knows that you are married.

Just thinking what would be the best way to manage when I found the right SD. You know timing for meet ups and etc. in my situation I always have limited time to offer. Maybe SD would be more understanding if I lay all the cards and if he doesn’t like the set up it’s alright with me would totally understand. It’s always a hit and miss situation really. Thank for the advice tho

 

[Joe2017]

My SB has a fiancé, sometimes she comments on things about her private life and asks me for my male opinion. With respect, and keeping the limits clear from the beginning with your SD, you do not have to expect any problem.

 

[steve969696]

Just thinking what would be the best way to manage when I found the right SD. You know timing for meet ups and etc. in my situation I always have limited time to offer. Maybe SD would be more understanding if I lay all the cards and if he doesn’t like the set up it’s alright with me would totally understand. It’s always a hit and miss situation really. Thank for the advice tho

no need to lay anything out. A reasonable SD knows his girl has constraints whether it’s school or work or whatever. If u hit it off with an SD u both keep ur privacy and just work around each other’s schedules. I do it all the time — and have no idea if the times they can’t meet is due to a husband or boyfriend or whatever. Doesn’t matter. So just go for it.
And yes Seeking is prob ur best route.

 

[Frenchy]

Just curious… are you in an open marriage and/or will you tell about it to your husband?
no moral judgement (how could I ? ) but the most difficult part of your question to answer could be this one

 

[ItsmeM]

Just curious… are you in an open marriage and/or will you tell about it to your husband?
no moral judgement (how could I ? ) but the most difficult part of your question to answer could be this one

Hahahaha! He doesn’t know lol

 

[shadowboxer]

Just curious… are you in an open marriage and/or will you tell about it to your husband?
no moral judgement (how could I ? ) but the most difficult part of your question to answer could be this one

By applying double standards?

 

[Frenchy]

By applying double standards?

Ah ah , true.
But see, it’s relatively easier for a guy like me already living separated for years , and his SB who is also in some kind of co-parenting agreement with her husband who has another GF on the side.
For a recently married couple, might be harder to pull the trick without emotional (if not physical) bruises.

 

[ItsmeM]

I signed up on sugardaddy.Jp wish me luck lol

 

[Mhmoochy]

You can but you shouldn't.. please don't do that .. marriage is sacred!

 

[MikeH]

You can but you shouldn't.. please don't do that .. marriage is sacred!

I think you misspelled 'cursed'.

 

[ItsmeM]

You can but you shouldn't.. please don't do that .. marriage is sacred!

Hahahaha! Oh well…..

 

[Simonka]

I’m in no position to morally judge you, but I could see this turning into a shitfest .. (sorry for lack of better words)

It’s not unheard of SD’s maliciously attacking SB’s after the latter initiates a break up or wants to change the allowance. Some guys can’t handle rejection, or they can be controlling and when the SB wants a break up they doxx them to their coworkers, family, friends etc. People post personal information on the internet for fun. Married or not, if you’re going to be a SW you should be very careful about your privacy. In your case, a SD with anger issues can attack you AND your husband.

Are you financially and mentally ready for the consequences if your spouse finds out that you’re a SB?
Maybe it’s a better idea to have an open relationship and discuss the options with him before venturing into the sugar bowl. He might like the idea of dating other women or even having the occasional 3p with his wife.

Even if you’re super careful with protecting your privacy, don’t brag about your fine dining experience on social media etc some people will notice your new handbags or shoes and make rude comments. Are you mentally strong to laugh it off when long term friends judge you? Japanese coworkers and acquaintances are very skilled at recognizing any designer brand even if it doesn’t have a logo that screams designer, and they *will*, on no uncertain terms, comment on it. How are you going to explain it to your husband if a wild Chanel bag appears out of the blue? (That would be delightful tho.)

Sorry for sounding so negative but I’ve just heard of so many SB’s being wronged by SD’s. By the way, I don’t recommend seeking arrangement at all. Best daddies are found in art galleries, high end pubs, yacht clubs, gyms… it takes time to find the right one tho.

 

[ItsmeM]

I noticed that in SA a potential SD message me and offered me an arrangement, weekend getaway, allowance etc. I told him thank you but I don’t think I can’t meet his expectations as I have a different situation. I didn’t say anything else he said goodluck and blocked me am like just because of a rejection you have to block me? Hahahaha! It’s just funny! I’ll take note to that. Thank you so much for the advice

 

[Frenchy]

I noticed that in SA a potential SD message me and offered me an arrangement, weekend getaway, allowance etc. I told him thank you but I don’t think I can’t meet his expectations as I have a different situation. I didn’t say anything else he said goodluck and blocked me am like just because of a rejection you have to block me? Hahahaha! It’s just funny! I’ll take note to that. Thank you so much for the advice

it’s not necessarily out of anger or disappointment
Some people block just to weed out the members they don’t want to see again in the suggestions , because they tried already and it’s useless.
Simple search optimization

 

[namae]

I noticed that in SA a potential SD message me and offered me an arrangement, weekend getaway, allowance etc. I told him thank you but I don’t think I can’t meet his expectations as I have a different situation. I didn’t say anything else he said goodluck and blocked me am like just because of a rejection you have to block me? Hahahaha! It’s just funny! I’ll take note to that. Thank you so much for the advice

It saved you the trouble of having to block him!

You could consider making it clear in your profile when you can meet. Many married women or moms write that they are only available weekdays in the morning or until early afternoon. You could make it clear you can't do trips or overnighters.

 

[Simonka]

I noticed that in SA a potential SD message me and offered me an arrangement, weekend getaway, allowance etc. I told him thank you but I don’t think I can’t meet his expectations as I have a different situation. I didn’t say anything else he said goodluck and blocked me am like just because of a rejection you have to block me? Hahahaha! It’s just funny! I’ll take note to that. Thank you so much for the advice

Girl call it girly intuition but I feel like you’re in a tough situation right now but not mentally ready to find an escape route or talk about it to full extent so I sympathize with you. Just be careful of people who try to stealth, get obsessive over SB’s and such. If you’re going to jeopardize your marriage, at least get compensated well..
An alternative could be advertising as an independent on TAG. @TAG Manager is very helpful, understanding and he can get you listed as an indie. It will protect your privacy better too, as opposed to sugaring.

 

[Joe2017]

I noticed that in SA a potential SD message me and offered me an arrangement, weekend getaway, allowance etc. I told him thank you but I don’t think I can’t meet his expectations as I have a different situation. I didn’t say anything else he said goodluck and blocked me am like just because of a rejection you have to block me? Hahahaha! It’s just funny! I’ll take note to that. Thank you so much for the advice

As @Frenchy said, it may be just he removed you from the screening list.
You don’t need to disclose your marital status. Write in your profile your are only available weekdays during morning. The SDs will appreciate that you value their time by not making them contact you for nothing.

 

[Maxblack]

An alternative could be advertising as an independent on TAG. @TAG Manager is very helpful, understanding and he can get you listed as an indie. It will protect your privacy better too, as opposed to sugaring.

This is actually a great suggestion. Nothing stopping you from picking one guy and sticking with him if that's what you'd rather do?