Embarrassing/Funny moments before, during or after sex.

Nothing as funny as @Frenchy .... But a friend of mine told me her dude blasted on her face ..And some landed on her nostrils , when she breathed out. ..Bubbles ... Hince the new nickname :D

Another friend said he was banging his Japanese girl and the cat was on the bed. .Kept meowing at him . He knew he couldn't knock the cat off the bed , cuz would make the girl angry . . So he "spider webbed " the cat (his words ) when he blew his load.. .Cat jumped off the bed and proceeded to lick it's paw for clean up on its face :eek:

So basically, he came on her pussy.
 
Nothing as funny as @Frenchy Another friend said he was banging his Japanese girl and the cat was on the bed. .Kept meowing at him . He knew he couldn't knock the cat off the bed , cuz would make the girl angry . . So he "spider webbed " the cat (his words ) when he blew his load.. .Cat jumped off the bed and proceeded to lick it's paw for clean up on its face :eek:
Reminded me of a weird experience with a Sicilian stunner in a motel in LA.

She was a solid 9/10 according to my scale but god knows why she's doing cheap incall in a shabby motel with 3 dogs in her tiny room. The dogs kept jumping onto the bed while I was pounding her...one of them was even licking my toe:blackeye:

And when we tried to lock them in the bathroom they began to bark out loudly so her mum began to shout at her from next door...:blackeye:
 
Reminded me of a weird experience with a Sicilian stunner in a motel in LA.

She was a solid 9/10 according to my scale but god knows why she's doing cheap incall in a shabby motel with 3 dogs in her tiny room. The dogs kept jumping onto the bed while I was pounding her...one of them was even licking my toe:blackeye:

And when we tried to lock them in the bathroom they began to bark out loudly so her mum began to shout at her from next door...:blackeye:

Well, stunner or not maybe you could have negotiated a discount ! I suppose that a 5P including 3 dogs is not exactly what she sold you :D
 
Well, stunner or not maybe you could have negotiated a discount ! I suppose that a 5P including 3 dogs is not exactly what she sold you :D

You should not assume! :p
 
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In college. Lived in a coop (like a dorm but...not). House had a hot tub. Buddy was hot tub manager. (He had keys. Cleaned it. Filled it. Maintained it.) one and only one hot tub rule: no sex in the hot tub.

Girlfriend wanted to get naked in the hot tub. But not with others. Buddy gives me key. We enter hot tub. Lock door. Get naked. Have sexy times.
Manage to last a minute. Explode like the teenage college kid I was. In the hot tub. With the bubbles on.

Ever seen what happens when you put bubble bath in the tub and turn on the bubbles? So. Many. Bubbles. Yeah.

Cum bubbles. Everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Like seriously Wtf does semen replicate in a hot tub?

We exited the hot tub coated, COATED in man slime. Had to tell my buddy: we did the one thing we not supposed to do.
He made me drain and clean the hot tub.

Tldr: don't ejaculate in a hot tub. Just don't.
 
Well, stunner or not maybe you could have negotiated a discount ! I suppose that a 5P including 3 dogs is not exactly what she sold you :D
Hey it's rather offending to ignore her mom next door!

And seriously I did negotiate, not for a discount though, as it's guiltly cheap already...instead I demanded some options and she (and her dogs) delivered:cool:
 
WARNING: DISGUSTING





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Cats really like watching you have sex and licking cum -_-‘ Sometimes, when I get those soupy cat food sold in plastic bags, I think of those moments I want to erase from my memory.
 
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I was working at a resort in St Lucia. The entertainment manager told me she'd be on a break and if I hauled my ass over to her room we could have a quicky. I told my office I was going on a break and I raced down to her room. We wasted no time, the minute I got inside my trousers were around my ankles, her legs were wrapped around my waist and her back was against the wall near the door. We couldn't have been at it for more than five minutes when there was a knock at the door. The General Manager was right outside, he was looking for me and one of the gardeners had seen me heading towards the staff quarters. I had forgotten to send him some documents and he told her if she saw me she should tell me to "get my ass into his office ASAP". Considering my naked ass was literally only a door's width away my "best friend" suddenly lost interest in what he had been doing. I quietly pulled up my pants while she told him she'd let him know if I came (all the while quietly laughing at me as she said it). I made my way to the window, checked if the coast was clear thanked the lord for the hedges which grew just nearby and doubled around back to the main part of the resort before the GM got there.
 
I was working at a resort in St Lucia. The entertainment manager told me she'd be on a break and if I hauled my ass over to her room we could have a quicky. I told my office I was going on a break and I raced down to her room. We wasted no time, the minute I got inside my trousers were around my ankles, her legs were wrapped around my waist and her back was against the wall near the door. We couldn't have been at it for more than five minutes when there was a knock at the door. The General Manager was right outside, he was looking for me and one of the gardeners had seen me heading towards the staff quarters. I had forgotten to send him some documents and he told her if she saw me she should tell me to "get my ass into his office ASAP". Considering my naked ass was literally only a door's width away my "best friend" suddenly lost interest in what he had been doing. I quietly pulled up my pants while she told him she'd let him know if I came (all the while quietly laughing at me as she said it). I made my way to the window, checked if the coast was clear thanked the lord for the hedges which grew just nearby and doubled around back to the main part of the resort before the GM got there.

So did you ever get a second shot?
 
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Nothing beats good old quifs.. especially when you find yourself struggling to convince your partner where exactly they’re originating from :D

Next time, just use a strap on and show them :p, I'm sure they will then believe every word from then on.... :D