Even After X amount of years in Japan I'll never get used to____

[Keihan]

This is literally my only pet peev living here: The no phone call rule on Japanese public transportation.

Yes, I absolutely, fully understand that this rule does help preserve sanity. Please do not misunderstand me, because I hate super noisy trains myself and do regularly enjoy the catatonic feeling of a quiet evening subway ride. Especially when compared to riding NYC subways where people would get on the train and just start singing at the top of their lungs, preaching about their religious occult, or blaring loud music through their cell phone. However, for my morning commute it is literally the best part of my day to call my aging folks in the states. Other commuters may speak in a low mumble to each other, so why can't I mumble to my mom? For fuck's sake, I even try to make myself as low profile as possible, too. Nonetheless, I literally would whisper into the phone while children nearby were screaming and shitting themselves, and some miserable oba-chan would tap me on my shoulder, make a menacing glare, and snap "no phone" as if I killed their firstborn.

What's even worse is the responses I get when I complain:

• "It's our rule, and we Japanese like to follow rules." My last two years exploring DH and Pink Salons says otherwise.
• "It's because we can't hear the other half of the conversation." What the fuck are you listening to me talk to my mom for and why does not knowing what is being said your fucking business?
• "You are a selfish person and like a criminal if you can't be mindful of others." The fuck? If that's the case, keep your screaming fucking kids that are clearly your fault alone at home and stay with them so the rest of us can have peace.
• "If you want to make a change, make a campaign with a politician." This is an issue that most deeply affects mostly foreigners because Japanese usually don't have time zone concerns. We aren't given any real representation here so this is a terrible fucking excuse.
• "If it's such a big deal, get off at a station and call your parents from there." This is the laziest one that makes me want to strangle them. I am just as busy as they are and these are the same ones telling me not to be selfish, so this is an indication that they believe I have the fucking time to get off the train like that. Hypocrisy at its finest.

There are tons more I have heard over the years, and none of them are anything more the drivel they are spoon fed to obey some silly overreaction of a rule. If the rule was amended something like, "please refrain from talking loudly on the phone" I'd sooner believe even in busy Tokyo the peace and quiet would hardly change and/or people would actually speak quietly on the phone, too. After all, they "like to follow the rules," right?

You're a gaijin in Japan. You'll always be singled out and held to a different standard. You're aware of the rules so follow them. If you can't get used to it and toe the line (or don't learn to enjoy being scolded), just go home.

Granted, due to my ethnicity I've always had the luxury of being allowed to break some of those rules, but I'll give you a perfect example. I was in my 20s during my years in Japan, and I did not give two shits about following the rules (especially since I was gaijin incognito). And in my early years in Japan, one of my absolute favorite things to do after wrapping up that 8-hour storm of stupid at the eikaiwa was crack some beers on the train station platform and get the party started with a few other (white) hooligans from work. Sometimes, that party carried over into the train car, especially if we were headed out for the night, and we'd end up in the last train car popping tabs on Asahi tallboys and getting rowdy.

On several occasions, angry senior citizens would approach me and begin berating me for my friends' behavior. Once, a pissed off old man began screaming at me to "tell your friends that we Japanese don't drink on trains." He didn't give a rat's ass that I, too, had two tallboys in my hands and was chugging away. No, he was pointing his finger at the white boys. "In Japan, we don't do this!" I know I must have a trace accent and asked him, "What about me?" while showing him my beers. He didn't flinch. "THEM!!" he screams, pointing at my giggling coworkers, "TELL THEM TO STOP!!"

This was Osaka, early 2000s. Dumbest, dirtiest people in Japan. Salary-jagoffs would drink on the trains, especially the late trains, all the time. Bringing a couple of tallboys onto the last train after a night out was standard practice for me and not a single person ever bothered me about it when I was alone. But gaijin will always be held to a different standard. Get used to it, or go home.

But it does beg the obvious question: CAN'T YOU CALL HOME AT ANY OTHER TIME (like, say...I don't know...YOUR DAY OFF)?? You're not 9 years old. There are 23 some odd other hours during the day and six other days of the week to check in. At the risk of sounding old, methinks you need to grow the fuck up some.

 

[requiemmorrow]

You're a gaijin in Japan. You'll always be singled out and held to a different standard. You're aware of the rules so follow them. If you can't get used to it and toe the line (or don't learn to enjoy being scolded), just go home.

It's a pet peeve, that's all. No panties twisted up or anything. I'm just complaining.

 

[Frenchy]

I'm just complaining.

Well, congrats, you’re like them now !
Welcome to GrumpyLand

 

[MikeH]

It's a pet peeve. Are we not allowed to be irritated by things we don't like? I've been here for years and am well aware of the cultural expectations, and all the stuff about it being their country.

Yes, of course we are allowed to be irritated by anything we prefer. But do you know what happens about it when we do? Yes, nothing. Except that you get irritated and do not enjoy life as much as just before.

So if we word the advice from our dear Keihan a bit differently it could be "in order to be as happy as possible stop getting irritated by the rules you cannot change, and if you cannot do that find a place where you are not bound by the said rules".

If it helps you could always think "well, this is fucking stupid, but maybe because of rules like this they have so great selection of p4p services here" and you could feel happy about the rule.

No, I cannot prove that rule does cause the emergency of p4p but you cannot prove the opposite either.

 

[MikeH]

Well, congrats, you’re like them now !
Welcome to GrumpyLand

Now the only thing that he needs to do is to get old and start complaining to all people who do not follow The Rules!

 

[Frenchy]

Yes, of course we are allowed to be irritated by anything we prefer. But do you know what happens about it when we do? Yes, nothing. Except that you get irritated and do not enjoy life as much as just before.

So if we word the advice from our dear Keihan a bit differently it could be "in order to be as happy as possible stop getting irritated by the rules you cannot change, and if you cannot do that find a place where you are not bound by the said rules".

If it helps you could always think "well, this is fucking stupid, but maybe because of rules like this they have so great selection of p4p services here" and you could feel happy about the rule.

No, I cannot prove that rule does cause the emergency of p4p but you cannot prove the opposite either.

Great logic!
tbh i have a kinda opposite pet peeve: slurping noises in ramen restaurants. This is not only ok here, its like common etiquette I guess
So I accept it because it’s probably linked to P4P being abundant too, who knows…

 

[MikeH]

Great logic!
tbh i have a kinda opposite pet peeve: slurping noises in ramen restaurants. This is not only ok here, its like common etiquette I guess
So I accept it because it’s probably linked to P4P being abundant too, who knows…

That pass was directly to my foot as I know this one.

Back in the day when I was just dumped from the ship to the shore my kendo sensei taught me this wisdom. "Eating ramen is like making love to a woman. If might taste good, it might feel good, but if you do not make any noises nobody knows how good it is".

So you are obligated to make those noises. It's a rule, get used to it or go home!

BTW Last time when I was asked when I am going back home I told in 30 minutes as Yamate line stops running then.

 

[requiemmorrow]

Yes, of course we are allowed to be irritated by anything we prefer. But do you know what happens about it when we do? Yes, nothing. Except that you get irritated and do not enjoy life as much as just before.

So if we word the advice from our dear Keihan a bit differently it could be "in order to be as happy as possible stop getting irritated by the rules you cannot change, and if you cannot do that find a place where you are not bound by the said rules".

If it helps you could always think "well, this is fucking stupid, but maybe because of rules like this they have so great selection of p4p services here" and you could feel happy about the rule.

No, I cannot prove that rule does cause the emergency of p4p but you cannot prove the opposite either.

To be honest, the p4p culture really makes life exciting again. Let’s just say I have circumstances in life that have made sex pretty dull for a few years now, and the freedom of pay to plow makes up for it.

And it is a fair point not to let it get at my happiness. I love this country and the culture, though it is hard to describe why sometimes. I can shrug off the phone calls with some video games, pink salons, soothing hot springs, and washing it all down with good drinks and steak.

 

[Frenchy]

So you are obligated to make those noises. It's a rule, get used to it or go home!

ok i get the idea but, honestly, do you slurp like that when having sex? i doubt it

 

[Keihan]

Great logic!
tbh i have a kinda opposite pet peeve: slurping noises in ramen restaurants. This is not only ok here, its like common etiquette I guess
So I accept it because it’s probably linked to P4P being abundant too, who knows…

You're gonna hate me then because one of the greatest revelations I discovered in Japan was how much better the ramen experience was if I could make disgusting noises, and even better, if the cooks appreciated it. Yes, slurping ramen and eating pussy are two things I didn't master until my early 20s in Japan, and I somehow got to be quite good at both. Definitely helped once I was back stateside and dating for intel in the political world. Being able to make a political staffer girl scream, squeal and squirt all over with my face between her thighs evidently made up for the 30-60 seconds of disappointment that followed as soon as I could get the condom on.

 

[Frenchy]

Being able to make a political staffer girl scream, squeal and squirt all over with my face between her thighs evidently made up for the 30-60 seconds of disappointment that followed as soon as I could get the condom on.

yeah well, you lack ambition my friend
Lowly political staffer girl? Pfffff
try that with Pelosi or Warren

 

[Ken1988]

This is literally my only pet peev living here: The no phone call rule on Japanese public transportation.

Back in the mid-90s, people actually talked on the phone on the trains in Tokyo. I remember a guy made a call in front of me to say, "Moshi moshi! I'm calling from my mobile phone! I'm on a moving train." When the price of a mobile phone and a subscription scheme became affordable for many, Japanese mobile carriers also offered push-email services, which were way cheaper than voice calls. That was in 1999 or 2000. Thus, for many Japanese, a mobile phone was introduced as a messaging device and it's been like that for over the last two decades. In the process, a perception was set that talking on the phone on public transportation was rude because it was deemed unnecessary.

 

[requiemmorrow]

Back in the mid-90s, people actually talked on the phone on the trains in Tokyo. I remember a guy made a call in front of me to say, "Moshi moshi! I'm calling from my mobile phone! I'm on a moving train." When the price of a mobile phone and a subscription scheme became affordable for many, Japanese mobile carriers also offered push-email services, which were way cheaper than voice calls. That was in 1999 or 2000. Thus, for many Japanese, a mobile phone was introduced as a messaging device and it's been like that for over the last two decades. In the process, a perception was set that talking on the phone on public transportation was rude because it was deemed unnecessary.

Amazing.

No dramatic stories of burning carriages, with thousands of people perishing due to a sonorous Nokia.
No tragedies of mortally wounded ojii-sans by schoolgirls shouting into their handhelds.
No. Just a simple matter of technology change, and society makes a complete flip.

Gotta love this country.

 

[MikeH]

Back in the mid-90s, people actually talked on the phone on the trains in Tokyo.

I remember the first time when someone answered his phone in the train. Everyone turned towards him, the flow of the time stopped, even the gods were staring directly at him. The guy barely managed to wait until the train stopped before he jumped off. So it definitely was not generally accepted even back them.

Though his phone volume was so high it disturbed even the sweet sounds coming from my cool cassette tape walkman.

 

[MikeH]

ok i get the idea but, honestly, do you slurp like that when having sex? i doubt it

I mean some girls come extra hard when you do the slurping noises when you go down on them. Not even kidding.

Truth to be told my ramen eating frequency is less than 10% of my pussy feasting frequency so take that with a pinch of salt if you will. And I mean the ramen, not the pussy.

 

[requiemmorrow]

I mean some girls come extra hard when you do the slurping noises when you go down on them. Not even kidding.

Truth to be told my ramen eating frequency is less than 10% of my pussy feasting frequency so take that with a pinch of salt if you will. And I mean the ramen, not the pussy.

Got me thinking of salty pussy…might make for an interesting film.

 

[Frenchy]

I mean some girls come extra hard when you do the slurping noises when you go down on them. Not even kidding.

Truth to be told my ramen eating frequency is less than 10% of my pussy feasting frequency so take that with a pinch of salt if you will. And I mean the ramen, not the pussy.

I think you ruined both the ramen eating and pussy eating experiences for me now. Oh well, this too shall pass

 

[Keihan]

yeah well, you lack ambition my friend
Lowly political staffer girl? Pfffff
try that with Pelosi or Warren

No job in Washington (that includes the Presidency) could ever convince me to eat out Nancy Pelosi or Liz Warren.

Now, for MONEY? That's a different story. But to be completely honest, if I'm getting paid (well) and have a choice, there are many dicks out there I'd rather suck before going down on either of those hags.

 

[Frenchy]

No job in Washington (that includes the Presidency) could ever convince me to eat out Nancy Pelosi or Liz Warren.

Now, for MONEY? That's a different story. But to be completely honest, if I'm getting paid (well) and have a choice, there are many dicks out there I'd rather suck before going down on either of those hags.

how about AOC? She’s younger and kinda cute

 

[Durg50]

No job in Washington (that includes the Presidency) could ever convince me to eat out Nancy Pelosi or Liz Warren.

Now, for MONEY? That's a different story. But to be completely honest, if I'm getting paid (well) and have a choice, there are many dicks out there I'd rather suck before going down on either of those hags.

They are 81 and 72 years old. We’d all assume that you’d rather not go down on them. Not sure why you needed to jump in and publicly clarify that…… unless you just really wanted to let everyone know that there’s a few cocks you’ve got your eye on for a good slurp.

 

[Keihan]

They are 81 and 72 years old. We’d all assume that you’d rather not go down on them. Not sure why you needed to jump in and publicly clarify that…… unless you just really wanted to let everyone know that there’s a few cocks you’ve got your eye on for a good slurp.

Never say never.

 

[Frenchy]

Never say never.

is that you? Damn, the red hair surprised me .

 

[Keihan]

how about AOC? She’s younger and kinda cute

True story:

A few years back we had a special election for a congressional seat here, and this being a blue stronghold, the only election that really mattered was the Dem primary. Over a half-dozen idiots jumped in, including this one particular young jackass millennial state representative. Now, this was just when the whole "democratic socialism" bullshit was catching on, and every ambitious, brainless 23yo hoping for elected office was trying to out-Bernie Bernie Sanders in the socialism department and run on a platform of FREE EVERYTHING (college, gas, rent, groceries, liquor, weed) and the only plan to pay for it was to levy a 95% income tax on everyone not flipping burgers at McDonald's.

Anyhow, this one shitbag state rep (who had ZERO chance of winning in that primary) was holding a campaign rally, literally, three blocks from my condo. He was/is married to this lesbian activist and as such was constantly trying to fuck any walking, talking female that entered his capitol office, including a friend of mine. So she texts me and suggests I stop by the rally, me being so close. I was polite about it, declined and went about doing whatever I was doing that was more important (i.e., having a drink and a wank).

A couple hours later, she texts me again, some excited message along the lines of "WOW WOW THAT ALEX OCASIO GIRL WAS THERE!!" This was before she'd become famous enough to earn an acronym, and was only well-known in the political circles of moron D.C. millennials. And perverts. You can guess where I fit in to that equation. Ten seconds later I'm dialing her phone while putting my pants on and grabbing my keys: "WHAT THE FUCK, IS SHE STILL THERE?"

"Oh, no, she already left with [candidate]."

And there went one of those opportunities of a lifetime. I could've worn my Che Guevara t-shirt, rainbow armband and who knows? She might've fucked me just to show how open-minded and politically correct she was. Instead, and I know it, she ended up grabbing those pretty Puerto Rican ankles for another man that night.

 

[Keihan]

is that you? Damn, the red hair surprised me .

If it was I'd be masturbating in front of a mirror right now.

 

[Frenchy]

True story:

A few years back we had a special election for a congressional seat here, and this being a blue stronghold, the only election that really mattered was the Dem primary. Over a half-dozen idiots jumped in, including this one particular young jackass millennial state representative. Now, this was just when the whole "democratic socialism" bullshit was catching on, and every ambitious, brainless 23yo hoping for elected office was trying to out-Bernie Bernie Sanders in the socialism department and run on a platform of FREE EVERYTHING (college, gas, rent, groceries, liquor, weed) and the only plan to pay for it was to levy a 95% income tax on everyone not flipping burgers at McDonald's.

Anyhow, this one shitbag state rep (who had ZERO chance of winning in that primary) was holding a campaign rally, literally, three blocks from my condo. He was/is married to this lesbian activist and as such was constantly trying to fuck any walking, talking female that entered his capitol office, including a friend of mine. So she texts me and suggests I stop by the rally, me being so close. I was polite about it, declined and went about doing whatever I was doing that was more important (i.e., having a drink and a wank).

A couple hours later, she texts me again, some excited message along the lines of "WOW WOW THAT ALEX OCASIO GIRL WAS THERE!!" This was before she'd become famous enough to earn an acronym, and was only well-known in the political circles of moron D.C. millennials. And perverts. You can guess where I fit in to that equation. Ten seconds later I'm dialing her phone while putting my pants on and grabbing my keys: "WHAT THE FUCK, IS SHE STILL THERE?"

"Oh, no, she already left with [candidate]."

And there went one of those opportunities of a lifetime. I could've worn my Che Guevara t-shirt, rainbow armband and who knows? She might've fucked me just to show how open-minded and politically correct she was. Instead, and I know it, she ended up grabbing those pretty Puerto Rican ankles for another man that night.

i must admit now, I feel a similar (but politically opposite) sexual attraction for the likes of Lauren Boebert or even Sarah Palin 12 years ago . I must see a shrink