Female Pick-up Artists

[User#6517]

I don't think anyone on TAG has ever mentioned female pick-up artists before.. so I'd like to start a thread about them

Do you believe it's possible for women to become pick-up artists? And are you supportive of their intentions?

To answer my own questions: Yes, and yes. As long as they're not harassing people or bashing those who partake in P4P, they have my full support. Same goes for male PUAs

 

[User#8628]

I'd love to become one but i don't take rejection very well.
PUA get a lot of harsh replies from people they hit on i think, and i'm guilty of doing that myself if someone doing pickup doesn't back off after the first rejection.
Also this probably wont apply to female PUA but i imagine male PUA getting quite some bitch slaps.

In my teens i tried to start a conversation with a boy because i saw him do something i was interested in and he seemed kinda handsome to me back then and he gave me a super sarcastic answer to my conversation starter. Still haunts me.

Anyway, i think it's possible for girls and if they do it in a cool way and don't keep following someone who rejects them around i support it.

 

[nubon]

I did not realize that it was difficult for women to pick up men. I was told by a female classmate once that men are like buses, there's ways another one that will stop and try to pick you up.

Physical attractiveness may influence the number of buses going by, but every driver is looking for a place to park his bus.

 

[Soapysoap66]

I'd love to become one but i don't take rejection very well.
PUA get a lot of harsh replies from people they hit on i think, and i'm guilty of doing that myself if someone doing pickup doesn't back off after the first rejection.
Also this probably wont apply to female PUA but i imagine male PUA getting quite some bitch slaps.

In my teens i tried to start a conversation with a boy because i saw him do something i was interested in and he seemed kinda handsome to me back then and he gave me a super sarcastic answer to my conversation starter. Still haunts me.

Anyway, i think it's possible for girls and if they do it in a cool way and don't keep following someone who rejects them around i support it.

I think a potential problem (which might also explain your negative experience) is that the men might not believe you are sincere and are just cock teasing because you are hot etc.

 

[User#8628]

I did not realize that it was difficult for women to pick up men. I was told by a female classmate once that men are like buses, there's ways another one that will stop and try to pick you up.

Physical attractiveness may influence the number of buses going by, but every driver is looking for a place to park his bus.

But this is about men picking up women.
Women picking up men, as in women being the first to approach, is uncommon.
It "goes against nature". Some men dislike not being the hunter.

 

[Verbal]

A quick Google search led me to Arden Leigh. Not having read any of her work and going off an interview with her it seems she advocates techniques that entice men into approaching her. So it seems it is possible. Am I supportive? Why not, it's her life to live.

Personally, I like the sexually liberated woman that has no problem telling me up front that they intend to sleep with me after the dinner portion of the date is done. If I was interested enough to ask her out, or to accept her offer, I probably found her attractive enough to want to sleep with her. That is exactly how things went with my last lady friend. She was fifteen minutes late for our date, and her excuse was wanting to look good before she fucked my brains out later. Could the argument be made that I was being used for sex? Absolutely, but if I was okay with that what difference does it make?

 

[User#8628]

I think a potential problem (which might also explain your negative experience) is that the men might not believe you are sincere and are just cock teasing because you are hot etc.

I wasn't considered that hot back in my teens and i was probably a bit younger (like me 14 he 16 or something), so i guess he just thought of me as annoying.

 

[Soapysoap66]

A quick Google search led me to Arden Leigh. Not having read any of her work and going off an interview with her it seems she advocates techniques that entice men into approaching her. So it seems it is possible. Am I supportive? Why not, it's her life to live.

Personally, I like the sexually liberated woman that has no problem telling me up front that they intend to sleep with me after the dinner portion of the date is done. If I was interested enough to ask her out, or to accept her offer, I probably found her attractive enough to want to sleep with her. That is exactly how things went with my last lady friend. She was fifteen minutes late for our date, and her excuse was wanting to look good before she fucked my brains out later. Could the argument be made that I was being used for sex? Absolutely, but if I was okay with that what difference does it make?

Haha this would win big points with me at least lol.

 

[vondoom]

I did not realize that it was difficult for women to pick up men. I was told by a female classmate once that men are like buses, there's ways another one that will stop and try to pick you up.

Physical attractiveness may influence the number of buses going by, but every driver is looking for a place to park his bus.

thats exactly what i heard, too... to quote (two different people, though":

"i can tell you at least ten people who would be more than happy to be with me, without thinking about it, and those are only the ones i know off"

"there is no woman who can not pick up a guy"

but maybe that makes it boring?

(yes, i do understand that while there are enough potential sexual partners, most may not be very appealing, so i talk theory only)

 

[Verbal]

In my teens i tried to start a conversation with a boy because i saw him do something i was interested in and he seemed kinda handsome to me back then and he gave me a super sarcastic answer to my conversation starter. Still haunts me.

"Kinda handsome to be back then" Makes me think of this.

Haha this would win big points with me at least lol.

Oh it did. We continued to see each other up until I left for Japan haha.

 

[User#8628]

"Kinda handsome to be back then" Makes me think of this.

Oh it did. We continued to see each other up until I left for Japan haha.

Not like that, but it was just a small countryside highschool and after seeing more of the, ehm, "world" he doesn't qualify as handsome to me anymore, same as some other teen crushes. Also tastes change over the years.

 

[User#8628]

it seems she advocates techniques that entice men into approaching her.

Is it still "pick up" if you don't approach by yourself?

This is exactly what i mean, women are not "supposed" to verbally hunt.

Personally ok for me, i have done well with making eyecontact, suggestive looks, exposing skin where pulling at your clothes allows it and other such things and the chance of rejection is less, but there is also the chance your efforts will go unnoticed.

 

[Sinapse]

I certainly think it's possible. I don't think it's really necessary for most - they can usually get laid more than enough simply by doing somewhat enticing behaviors as Alice mentioned.

But, if they are looking for something in particular or simply want to take things into their own hands I totally support it! Awesome!

 

[Verbal]

Personally ok for me, i have done well with making eyecontact, suggestive looks, exposing skin where pulling at your clothes allows it and other such things and the chance of rejection is less, but there is also the chance your efforts will go unnoticed.

Speaking from experience, when we do notice, we notice. I've only had that happen to me once. I was lucky enough to be flashed in an almost empty restaurant. I didn't waste much time in getting to know all of her after that.

 

[lurklurk]

Just out of curiosity is PUA always only about sex? Maybe being naive here and I've picked up my share of women but it was because I actually found the women attractive versus thinking I could bed them quickly.

Either way I say yes and yes to the original post. I find women who approach first with confidence extremely attractive although mutual attraction is mutual attraction. I wouldn't be thinking Yes! I'm going to score but rather is she someone I want to get to know.

 

[Sinapse]

Just out of curiosity is PUA always only about sex?

Only to those who have a rather shallow understanding of it

 

[Wwanderer]

Lots of TAGers have a flair for starting creative, provocative and entertaining discussion threads, but imo @MissInsomnia is the current reigning champ in this category!

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

I don't think anyone on TAG has ever mentioned female pick-up artists before.. so I'd like to start a thread about them

Do you believe it's possible for women to become pick-up artists? And are you supportive of their intentions?

To answer my own questions: Yes, and yes. As long as they're not harassing people or bashing those who partake in P4P, they have my full support. Same goes for male PUAs

My personal answer is that I see nothing at all wrong with women picking up men, occasionally or regularly. However, when/if it stops being a part of one's normal social activities and starts becoming a consciously adopted hobby or activity or expertise by which you identify/define yourself in part and thus you start studying or thinking about special skills and techniques and having statistical success and failure rates etc, then I'd say that you are on the same dangerously slippery slope as male PUAs. The whole mindset that meeting and dealing with sex/romantic partners is a bit like knowing how to approach and pet a dog properly (an analogy @Sinapse made in a recent post) is problematic imo. It may not always lead one towards objectification, shallowness and insincerity in dealing with potential and actual partners, but from everything I can see, it very often does.

And, in case it isn't obvious, I'd say exactly the same thing about male PUAs; there's nothing wrong with meeting or picking up women (duh!), but it is unwise and often psychologically unhealthy when you start putting the activity in some separate and special category of human interactions which one is studying or at which one is an expert or in which one is "keeping score" (carefully or roughly). Same for men and women imo.

-Ww

 

[Kippari]

I guess it all comes down to the fact that what kind of social/romantic/sexual life a girl wants. Ultimately, one's life (espc. sex life) is no one else's business. Being PUA in my opinion is developing skills like being socially savvy and taking action. Sex is just a result of the aforementioned. If a lady wants to develop these, why the hell not?

As a side note, I'd love be approached by a lady. Especially in Japan I guess I'm balacing on the ball as I'm 194cm tall. I stand out but I might come across intimidating

 

[Sinapse]

The whole mindset that meeting and dealing with sex/romantic partners is a bit like knowing how to approach and pet a dog properly (an analogy @Sinapse made in a recent post)

What I described is an analogy, in case you weren't aware. I did not say that women are dogs or that you should be Pavlov. But, approach in a certain way, and you may be bitten. Approach in another and you may not. This is simply knowledge, you can do what you will with it. If you prefer to be bitten, then so be it! I'm simply offering another way.. and the results of this way can be beautiful indeed

 

[e-smile]

But this is about men picking up women.
Women picking up men, as in women being the first to approach, is uncommon.
It "goes against nature". Some men dislike not being the hunter.

in my case women always did the 1st approach
the difference with men is only that women's approach is generally more discreet and subtle (eyes and body language)
I'm not a PUA so I never moved toward a girl unless she sent me those subtle messages first

ps : I said "generally" because I've been approached in more direct ways as well

 

[e-smile]

I don't think anyone on TAG has ever mentioned female pick-up artists before.. so I'd like to start a thread about them

Do you believe it's possible for women to become pick-up artists? And are you supportive of their intentions?

To answer my own questions: Yes, and yes. As long as they're not harassing people or bashing those who partake in P4P, they have my full support. Same goes for male PUAs

I think women are naturally pick up artists, they master the way of attracting men.

 

[Wwanderer]

What I described is an analogy, in case you weren't aware. I did not say that women are dogs or that you should be Pavlov. But, approach in a certain way, and you may be bitten. Approach in another and you may not. This is simply knowledge, you can do what you will with it. If you prefer to be bitten, then so be it! I'm simply offering another way.. and the results of this way can be beautiful indeed

Yes, I got that it was an analogy, and to repeat my point, I was not saying it isn't useful knowledge or that it doesn't work. I said (and meant) that there is a midnset that goes with the notion that approaching women is some sort of special skill or activity that one should study and approach with certain techniques and not others. The mindsets strongly encourages, imo, thinking of women in certain ways and discourages thinking of them in other ways. In other words, there are unintended consequences.

-Ww

 

[Sinapse]

Yes, I got that it was an analogy, and to repeat my point, I was not saying it isn't useful knowledge or that it doesn't work. I said (and meant) that there is a midnset that goes with the notion that approaching women is some sort of special skill or activity that one should study and approach with certain techniques and not others. The mindsets strongly encourages, imo, thinking of women in certain ways and discourages thinking of them in other ways. In other words, there are unintended consequences.

-Ww

And equally so, the idea that women should NOT be approached in public is an "ideology" of sorts. One I would say is against most men's normal nature. In other words, I think the natural state of men (and people in general) is to approach things which interest them, whether it is a hobby, a new gadget, a field of study, or a woman. However, we unlearn and stifle this natural state (for women only!) because of social conditioning. This is unfortunate and sad.

You often mention how cold approach necessarily indicates a method which is unnatural (something I think comes from a lack of understanding of cold approach itself). My opinion on the matter is simply this: if you approach women who appeal to you, no matter HOW you do it, that is noble and true to your nature. HOWEVER, if you make up any of the endless excuses we tend to and rarely / never approach women you are interested in, that is unnatural, socially conditioned, and in other words,

strongly encourages, imo, thinking of women in certain ways and discourages thinking of them in other ways. In other words, there are unintended consequences.

One of which is you are less the master of your own destiny and desires, and more the slave to your own fears (or even worse- those given to you).

 

[Wwanderer]

And equally so, the idea that women should NOT be approached in public is an "ideology" of sorts. One I would say is against most men's normal nature.

I despair of making this perhaps too subtle point clear.

I do NOT think it is wrong to approach women in public. I have done it myself. Where my misgivings begin is when one begins to see the activity not as a normal part of life but as some sort of separate activity that requires learning special skills etc. I think looking at it that way has an impact on how a guy thinks of women.

Let me try my own analogy. Some people, including me, enjoy drinking a good wine and have picked up some knowledge of wines casually in various ways through their lives. Other people take drinking wine so seriously that they study wines and develop a sophisticated understanding of all the factors that influence wine and how best to enjoy wine etc; they become wine connoisseurs. Both types of people drink and enjoy wine, but they think of and experience wines quite differently. Imo, neither way is good or bad because wines are not people and how we think of and treat wines has no impact on their welfare or feelings (because they have neither), but not so women...who happen to be people.

Maybe that helps a bit?

-Ww