I won’t be having any of this negative shit. Aight, that’s it boys. Now it’s time to explain to you the facets to being a great lover.
- Pay the girl her dues. Even if she isn’t a provider, just pay her. Did she sit next to you on the train? Hand her a 500 yen coin and tell her she dropped it. Give her money cause she’s dealing with you.
- Cum quickly. 30 seconds is a long time thrusting; I myself am a fan of the 10 second jizzblast, but I am lucky to get under 15 minutes. I’m a terrible human being, I know.
- During encounters if you have a tendency to say insensitive shit, don’t speak. Shut your pie hole and smile and look cute. You will undoubtedly get better service too.
- If you are ugly like me, good. Nature wasn’t kind to you, so be unnaturally polite. Break the chain of hate by saying “fuck you” to Nature itself then paying good money to ladies saying “fuck me” in retrospect.
The fact is physical beauty is a plus, but your “smelly dickbag” factor increases exponentially and will lead to everyone around you hating you. After all, my girlfriend told me I am amazing and yeah no—I am one ugly motherfucker…and the best thing is she told me this right when I paid her! She loves me so much! 🥰
If you are beautiful, though, I imagine it is not difficult finding painless ways to become ugly. Sandpaper, shit baths, eating tubs of ice cream daily? I’m sure you can find a way.
Anyway hope my advice helps you all out! May we all be God’s gift…
