Goodbye, sorry for wasting your time money?

TokyoJoeblow

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Ok, so there is this eikaiwa located in Nagoya that came across my English teacher profile on a website I sometimes post on for private students. I don't take this site too seriously, so it came as a shock when an eikaiwa contacted me via email about a job offer that starts right away.

So, I after reading about the job description in the email, I was interested in talking with him more over the phone. While talking on the phone, he came off as a strange, nervous man. He also kept cutting me off while I was in the middle of a sentence. I couldn't even have a normal conversation with the guy.

So what I did was I googled the director of this establishment that is running these private English classes for her company and mentioned that I'm an English teacher that was contacted through the eikaiwa in Nagoya that she currently has a contract with.

She seemed really interested in meeting with me and hiring me right away. In fact, I mentioned that since we both live in Shizuoka and the eikaiwa is in Nagoya, I don't see the reason why we need to go through them. During our meeting, I explained that I would be able to offer her a reasonable charge that would still be a lot cheaper than through the eikaiwa. She fully agreed and although we didn't sign any contract that day (we met a couple days ago) she expressed great interest and we even set up a date for me to start, which would be soon.

So she text messaged me today saying that the school in Nagoya is in the process of hiring this teacher from the Philippines (offered a job after me) and they plan to bring to the director's school here later this week. I called her and asked her what is going on and that I thought she was serious about hiring me.

She explained that she still plans to talk with the owner of the eikaiwa about closing her classes and that she won't need teachers from them anymore starting from the end of July. She mentioned actually wanting to stop the classes with them a year ago, but that they are too aggressive and scary and that she wants to avoid ending the relationship on a bad note. So basically, this school is bullying her or manipulating her into keeping her contract going. I found it strange because she is still going to have this new teacher come teach classes for only 2 weeks and then stop the classes?

When I asked her if it would be difficult for her to suddenly tell this new teacher, that she will not be able to teach after 2 weeks, she claimed that she will talk directly with the school owner and not the teacher, which I hope is true.

The eikaiwa in Nagoya really wants to hire me desperately, but they are offering me a such a low hourly rate that it is laughable compared to what she is offering me directly. She also mentioned that the husband of the woman that runs this eikaiwa in Nagoya is really not a good guy and that 2 teachers have quit in the past because they got into huge arguments with him, which isn't surprising at all. She mentioned that when she signed the contract, it was with this man's wife whom is really nice unlike him. She mentioned that he lost his job and that he pretty much took over the operations at the eikaiwa that his wife started.

She also was saying sorry and that she would still be able to pay me a fee for the trouble. I put her on the spot and asked her if this is some sort of "goodbye and sorry for wasting your time" money and she claimed that it definitely isn't but I'm finding it really hard to believe anything she says as she flip flops.

Before we hung up the phone, she made a point that because I live nearby and not in another city like the other teachers, she considers that really important to her and that she wants to have me start at the beginning of August.

She also mentioned that she wants to meet with me at a cafe nearby later this week to talk more about the situation, so she might still be serious about hiring me in the near future, but then again she might just pay me a chunk of "I'm sorry about all this" type money and then I might never hear from her again...

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Does it sound like I screwed myself out of a job by not signing a contract with the eikaiwa in Nagoya or that I might still have a good chance to teach for her?
 
I would decline any payment and wait for her to terminate whatever agreement she has with the company in Nagoya. Did you sign any agreement with the company in Nagoya? The last thing you want is some asshole bothering you for stealing his client.
 
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I would decline any payment and wait for her to terminate whatever agreement she has with the company in Nagoya. Did you sign any agreement with the company in Nagoya? The last thing you want is some asshole bothering you for stealing his client.

I didn't sign any contract with the eikaiwa in Nagoya nor with the director here. I don't understand why she is unable to tell me a clear answer when her contract with the eikaiwa in Nagoya ends, I don't really trust her.

She mentioned that she will talk with them on Thursday about ending the contract, but it is strange because on that same day they are introducing a new English teacher to her.

Also, if she really is telling the truth about wanting to hire me, why does she want to meet with me on Tuesday, which is BEFORE the day that she will even talk with the Nagoya eikaiwa about ending the contract?

Obviously, the answer is because she wants to pay me some money because she feels terrible about promising me a job and then changing her mind. How annoying.
 
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I think she just feels bad about the whole situation. I know I would if I was her.

If she is good looking take her out on a date ifnot cut her loose. No need to drag this on if it isn't going anywhere. As for the job opportunity.. be thankful you didn't take it! You saved yourself alot of misery. (if what she's saying is true and we'll never find out)

Gotta love the tatemae :p

edit: take the money cause she wasted your time
 
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Don’t take any money. You shouldn’t be bought off and it’s much better to have her owe you one. She owes you a favor that you can call in whenever you need something. Don’t think like a pimp. Think like the Godfather.
 
Don’t take any money. You shouldn’t be bought off and it’s much better to have her owe you one. She owes you a favor that you can call in whenever you need something. Don’t think like a pimp. Think like the Godfather.

LOL :D

Srs though how can you call in a favor when she ghosted you and blocked all communication? Cause that's what gonna happen because this situation is just too awkward. I'd say take the money if he made any travel expenses.
 
LOL :D

Srs though how can you call in a favor when she ghosted you and blocked all communication? Cause that's what gonna happen because this situation is just too awkward. I'd say take the money if he made any travel expenses.
He knows her name and where she works. She has an established business in his town. Am I missing something?
 
He knows her name and where she works. She has an established business in his town. Am I missing something?

You know the irony of this situation is that she was telling me that she wanted me to start teaching from next week rather than this week in case the owner of the school in Nagoya freaked out about her and I stopping contact with him, which would lead him to possibly showing up at her school this week.

It looks like if she ghosts me, I will be the one showing up at her school not the people from the school in Nagoya lol.

I'm almost positive she is going to ghost me after handing me off a wad of cash. So I will just take the money and pay her a visit one day should that happen. Maybe I will just have her repay me via sex at a love hotel lol.
 
Well it’s up to you about the money, but If you take it, you will be her bitch. That’s the way it works here. If you refuse it she will be your bitch. She will owe. Think about it.
 
This sounds like the game of chance her. Chance it, and you might get a job, but no sugar. Walk away and you’ll be forgotten or passed off as a nuisance, and get no sugar. The best thing to do is invite her to dinner and throw your best counter sales pitch at her. You could even give her a sure fire plan where she can get rid of dead weight and move on for the future. The chances of you failing are slim. She’s already decided she wants to part with her current situation.
 
Wait... wasn't that what this thread was about all along?
Didn’t seem like he was looking for sugar, but a job by undercutting the current partner. I’d say this was about playing the field.
 
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Well it’s up to you about the money, but If you take it, you will be her bitch. That’s the way it works here. If you refuse it she will be your bitch. She will owe. Think about it.

If I don't take the money she will owe me in principle, but if I don't take the money and she ghosts me, there is nothing stopping her from not honoring this.

I do know her full name and work address, but it isn't like going there to confront her and talk with her more will change anything. It is highly unlikely, but her building might have security which she could just have escort me out.

This is just a possible situation, but of course I feel that it is better not to have someone that changes their mind so quickly in my life. It is just inviting unnecessary drama into my life and we all know I have more than enough of that.

It would be better to take the money as a pimp would take money from one of his ho's lol. I will just take the money and talk to her about keeping in contact.
 
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Ok, so I met with her this morning and she told me she had already told the school in Nagoya that she wants to end the contract with them in two weeks.

She also paid me all the money for the August classes in advance.

The strange thing is she said she could give me more money if I need help. Was she offering extra money with something extra in mind or is it more likely that she just feels bad about before?

Is there any underlying meaning when a Japanese woman offers you money "to help you out"?
 
Ok, so I met with her this morning and she told me she had already told the school in Nagoya that she wants to end the contract with them in two weeks.

She also paid me all the money for the August classes in advance.

The strange thing is she said she could give me more money if I need help. Was she offering extra money with something extra in mind or is it more likely that she just feels bad about before?

Is there any underlying meaning when a Japanese woman offers you money "to help you out"?
Some Japanese people try to treat gaijin like pets or children. That might be what is happening here. If that is ok with you then have at it. Me? I would go for a business relationship with the subtle intimation that there could be a personal relationship on top. I would try to charge a high rate, get a long term commitment, and get paid upfront. I wouldn’t take any money for ‘help’ or for an apology of some kind. Unless you want to be her boy toy child bitch. Play it cool.
 
Some Japanese people try to treat gaijin like pets or children. That might be what is happening here. If that is ok with you then have at it. Me? I would go for a business relationship with the subtle intimation that there could be a personal relationship on top. I would try to charge a high rate, get a long term commitment, and get paid upfront. I wouldn’t take any money for ‘help’ or for an apology of some kind. Unless you want to be her boy toy child bitch. Play it cool.

I was thinking that she wants to treat me like a pet/boy toy bitch because she offered me extra money over the phone and when we met up in person this morning.

The thing is, every Japanese woman that has ever treated me like this has had sex with me countless times. I'm not saying that Japanese women treating a foreigner this way automatically means it is with sexual undertones, but that has been the case with me 100%.

I played it cool and turned down her second offer for help/I want you to be my bitch money and only accepted the monthly fee in full. I plan to get her to sign a contract with me when I start in August.

Have Japanese women ever treated you like a pet or tried to treat you like a pet? Do these types of Japanese women often show sexual interest in you as well?

I want to keep the relationship professional because some of the students I will teach are her kids and husband lol. I will still hook up with her if she is making it obvious that she is interested in me.
 
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Years ago I can remember several situations where wealthy women tried to give me money or buy me shit. My advice to you was based on the assumption that you are more interested in continuing income from teaching gigs through her than you are in sex with her.
 
Years ago I can remember several situations where wealthy women tried to give me money or buy me shit. My advice to you was based on the assumption that you are more interested in continuing income from teaching gigs through her than you are in sex with her.

But I'm asking why did these women want to give you money and buy you shit?

Did they want to have sex with you or did they literally just want to make you feel like you are their pet that they take care of (money and food but no sex)?

The priority is to keep the relationship about teaching but if she gives me these "your my pet" hints all the time, I'm going to try to hook up with her.
 
But I'm asking why did these women want to give you money and buy you shit?

Did they want to have sex with you or did they literally just want to make you feel like you are their pet that they take care of (money and food but no sex)?

The priority is to keep the relationship about teaching but if she gives me these "your my pet" hints all the time, I'm going to try to hook up with her.
It was case by case. There were even some really rich Yakuza guys who used to try to pay my bar bills and slip me wads if cash just so that I would hang around with them and make them look cool in front of whoever. With the women, they usually didn’t know what they wanted. Sex. But usually they wanted companionship. I think you should secure the long term teaching deal before you slip it in. Fluid exchange can change everything for the worse in a second.
 
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There were even some really rich Yakuza guys who used to try to pay my bar bills and slip me wads if cash just so that I would hang around with them and make them look cool in front of whoever. With the women, they usually didn’t know what they wanted. Sex. But usually they wanted companionship.

The good ol' bubble years....
 
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It was case by case. There were even some really rich Yakuza guys who used to try to pay my bar bills and slip me wads if cash just so that I would hang around with them and make them look cool in front of whoever. With the women, they usually didn’t know what they wanted. Sex. But usually they wanted companionship. I think you should secure the long term teaching deal before you slip it in. Fluid exchange can change everything for the worse in a second.

I'm pretty sure those guys weren't even Yakuza and you believed their bullshit stories hook, line and sinker. You fail.
 
Years ago I can remember several situations where wealthy women tried to give me money or buy me shit. My advice to you was based on the assumption that you are more interested in continuing income from teaching gigs through her than you are in sex with her.

Just out of curiosity...if you were to give advice based on the assumption that I'm more interested in having sex and just having her be a sugar momma...what would you say? lol