Have You Ever Had A Japanese "friend" Throw You Under The Bus?

[NormalGuy]

2) It's still a betrayal of trust to exchange private information and conversations behind the back of a so-called friend. It's still slimy.

But, it's ok to do it behind the back of a "girlfriend"???
If you can't see the hypocrisy in "I betrayed her trust", "he betrayed my trust" I'm a good guy, but he's a slime ball then I'm amazed.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

Well, TJB can answer that point best.

My take is not to trust or hang around guys that will attempt to steal or backstab over women, period.

Signed, although easier said than done

 

[Desktop]

This was my thought on what happened
TJB is sleeping with a married woman
She introduced him to her friend that WE all assume she's sleeping with also.
TJB tries to buddy up & confide in the guy but he's sleeping with her too & was probably just like: "WTF I thought you were just cheating on your husband with me??"
In no way do I see that as a friend. It's just the other dude doing the married woman you are banging.

 

[Solong]

But, it's ok to do it behind the back of a "girlfriend"???
If you can't see the hypocrisy in "I betrayed her trust", "he betrayed my trust" I'm a good guy, but he's a slime ball then I'm amazed.

We can't say it's hypocrisy. If a friend has a personal problem about his relationship with another friend, and tells me about it or ask for my advice, that can be understandable. People do this often, though you should be obviously careful when all the people know each other. Better to confide in friends that are OUTSIDE that particular group circle.

It's not about her, it's about his problem. He is not trying to use information against her, but rather is asking for help or an opinion.

Where the Japanese guy (or any guy) becomes a slime ball, is in trying to use personal information at the expense of his friend. It's like if your "friend" took e-mails from a private conversation between you both and showed it to your boss, just to get you fired. It's a despicable act and betrayal to commit harm. People kill each other for this type of thing.

Slime balls, weasels, rats, and worms (all various nicknames for this) are about selfish personal gain at the expense of others. They have no honor nor can be trusted, and if you discover a person near you is this way, better to avoid or cut them off. Such people are brokering in personal information to do harm or to steal from others. And this appears to be more prevalent in Japanese culture, than in others, from my observations.

It's hypocrisy, if TJB is doing the same thing. That is using information from private conversations with friends and betraying them in order to steal women or destroy their relationships.

 

[split]

Slime balls are about selfish personal gain at the expense of others. They have no honor nor can be trusted. They are brokering in personal information to do harm or to steal from others. And this appears to be more prevalent in Japanese culture, then in others, from my observations.

It's hypocrisy, if TJB is doing the same thing. That is using information from private conversations with friends and betraying them in order to steal women or destroy their relationships.

I absolutely agree (about people in general). Self interest shouldn't override personal integrity even if you don't know the guy well. I'd rather let the girl make decisions for herself based on her own intuition than some slime-ball trying to skew the facts. I trust her judgement more than the influence of the deceit and manufactured illusions created by another guy.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

But, it's ok to do it behind the back of a "girlfriend"???
If you can't see the hypocrisy in "I betrayed her trust", "he betrayed my trust" I'm a good guy, but he's a slime ball then I'm amazed.

Well for me, I'm in an open relationship, so I'm not cheating on my wife. She even told me she sometimes wants to watch me have sex with other women.

I was hoping for an open relationship with that woman but she was just never honest.

 

[NormalGuy]

You got the wrong meaning.

I meant it's OK for you to talk about this woman to her male friend, but it's not OK for him to talk about you to her.

I don't agree with what he did, but you were a little naive thinking it was going to end any other way. He should have explained that you couldn't talk about her to him, as it puts him in a difficult position, which he abused.

 

[split]

Sorry Normal, but I took your meaning the same as TJB.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

You got the wrong meaning.

I meant it's OK for you to talk about this woman to her male friend, but it's not OK for him to talk about you to her.

I don't agree with what he did, but you were a little naive thinking it was going to end any other way. He should have explained that you couldn't talk about her to him, as it puts him in a difficult position, which he abused.

I see what you mean. I'm sorry I wasn't clear about this before. She actually told him all about me and her having a sexual relationship soon after we had sex for the first time, so he already knew about us and he didn't seem to care nor did I as they both mutually claimed they were only friends. I doubted it since although she was all over me at the restaurant (in front of him), I did see him briefly put his arm around her and she didn't move away. She seemed extremely comfortable being in his arm as well. That is when I thought she was probably just hooking up with both of us.

The reason why I didn't want him talking to her about what I was saying to him was because I really believed strongly that she was hooking up with him. Although he came across as a really friendly guy, I should never have confided in him because I met him through her.

I won't make this mistake again.

 

[split]

although she was all over me at the restaurant (in front of him), I did see him briefly put his arm around her and she didn't move away. She seemed extremely comfortable being in his arm as well..

She wants to eat a sausage one day and cry about it to the other on the anoter day. Straight up trixta' yo!
In the context of all of you being drunk that night, the situation is entirely unknown.

 

[R.O.B]

Is David Lynch writing this stuff? Apparently TBJ is now in an 'open relationship' with his wife who also wants to watch him have sex with other women. I'm beginning (not really) to have my doubts.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Is David Lynch writing this stuff? Apparently TBJ is now in an 'open relationship' with his wife who also wants to watch him have sex with other women. I'm beginning (not really) to have my doubts.

My wife told me that if I'm up front and honest about wanting to see a woman for sex, she is alright with it.

She just doesn't want me to try to meet other women for sex and not tell her anything.

 

[Desktop]

I would be worried about my Visa renewal time.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

I would be worried about my Visa renewal time.

Well, we both are going to stay married for a while still. We both can't honestly see each other together forever, but we have agreed not to divorce until we have both met someone else.

We are not in a rush to hunt down people to propose to or anything like this though.

 

[NormalGuy]

Maybe not in Japan, but if a woman was interested in divorce I would worry about why she would want to watch me shag someone else. I would be worried about her using it against me in divorce proceedings and denying all knowledge of her consent.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Maybe not in Japan, but if a woman was interested in divorce I would worry about why she would want to watch me shag someone else. I would be worried about her using it against me in divorce proceedings and denying all knowledge of her consent.

I know she would never do that. She is open-minded and clever, but a kind-hearted woman.

You do bring up a very logical thing to be concerned about though. I won't say it is impossible, but highly unlikely. I will keep this in mind though, thanks.

 

[Solong]

I would be worried about my Visa renewal time.

LOL! I think it might be better to be so open-minded after you get your permanent residency.

Japanese women can stab and slash you quickly. All smiles today, your clothes thrown out the window tomorrow, and her in "love" with the butt cheeks spread open for the new dude tomorrow night.

 

[R.O.B]

She might be documenting every thing you say (as you tried with your nutcase) and with some imaginative editing, she will have enough to take you to the fucking cleaners when she decides enough is enough (or you have enough to clean).

 

[John Chavers]

That would be some karmic justice

 

[Wwanderer]

Japanese women can stab and slash you quickly. All smiles today, your clothes thrown out the window tomorrow, and her in "love" with the butt cheeks spread open for the new dude tomorrow night.

Those *Japanese* are so much more evil and ruthless than other nationalities, ya know...

(The "" denotes sarcasm in this case, btw. An easily recognizable sarcasm emoti has long been sorely missed in online communication.)

-Ww

 

[Solong]

Those *Japanese* are so much more evil and ruthless than other nationalities, ya know...

(The "" denotes sarcasm in this case, btw. An easily recognizable sarcasm emoti has long been sorely missed in online communication.)

-Ww

Yeah, because Japanese culture is exactly like Western culture. There is absolutely no difference in behavior, culture, history, or views.[emoji57]

http://tokyoadultguide.com/index.php?threads/9520/
(Another foreigner finding out the hard way)

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

Yeah, because Japanese culture is exactly like Western culture. There is absolutely no difference in behavior, culture, history, or views.[emoji57]

http://tokyoadultguide.com/index.php?threads/9520/
(Another foreigner finding out the hard way)

Have you never heard of children being used in a Western divorce case? I would dare to say that rare are the cases where this is not to happen. It's just that at least where I am from, the rights of fathers have been strengthened a lot so it's almost impossible to deny him if contact. Still there are enough cases were women do it through the backdoor by moving far enough away.

 

[Solong]

Have you never heard of children being used in a Western divorce case? I would dare to say that rare are the cases where this is not to happen. It's just that at least where I am from, the rights of fathers have been strengthened a lot so it's almost impossible to deny him if contact. Still there are enough cases were women do it through the backdoor by moving far enough away.

Per the situation that TJB can possibly be in, his Japanese wife can deny him a VISA or use the fear of it as relationship leverage. She can also pretend to be open-minded, as a legal trap, or just plain snatch the kids and deny the foreign father any visitation rights whatsoever.

And many are the stories of Japanese wives suddenly changing their minds about marriage or even stop having sex while married. Japanese immigration is also well known to often play along and almost immediately kick a foreigner out of the country, whenever the opportunity arises.

I have 2 pals in such a situation now. In one, the wife was cheating on him and wanted to be with the other guy. They had a 3 year old daughter together. Didn't stop her and immigration from finding a way to kick the guy out of the country, with no rights to see his daughter.

Hell, I know Japanese women that got their foreign boyfriend kicked out of the country because she was jealous or caught him cheating. And they weren't even married. Dudes never knew what hit them, but the women had collected damaging information on them.

So, a guy can play the clueless foreigner or think all cultures and countries are all the same, but I hope you don't have to be yet another foreign guy to learn the hard way. The situation here, is often not what guys are going to find elsewhere. Better watch your back or make sure that a VISA or any of your personal information can't be used against by your wife or girlfriend.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

The situation here, is often not what guys are going to find elsewhere. Better watch your back or make sure that a VISA or any of your personal information can't be used against by your wife or girlfriend.

That is a solid advice and I believe the first one to be true as well, but not because Japanese women are so vastly different. It's rather the Japanese law apparently not being very father friendly.

I'm not sure that a Japanese visa in comparison is particularly hard to get, but if you end up out of nowhere in a situation where you have to exchange your spouse visa for a real one in a relatively limited time-frame, that can surely be challenging in Japan, where any document needs to get stamped a few hundred times still.

Divorces are dirty all over the world. More often than not people put their own interests above the children's.

 

[split]

Well, all I can contribute here is that I had my first Japanese wingman and one of the most phenomenal nights of my life at a club in Yurakucho. I danced and ground with too many girls to count. Half my age too. And one literally stripped my sweater off and started to wear it around her waist as she tried to unbutton my dress shirt while dancing dirty. We exchange contacts. Countless pretty girls were throwing kisses to me as I had just as much fun flirting back with them. There was a lot of physical contact up close including cheek kissing without retraction from all girls. My wingman helped me and I helped him. But honestly, we did fine without each other's help.

Interestingly, the second club in roppongI was completely opposite. Very standoff-ish women that were extremely protective of each other and near impossible to even make.physical contact with. But the first club more than.made-up for it. Moral: get the right guy (j-friend) and the world really opens up.