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Help me understand this relationship and where its going...

My advice: Don't.

It could be a nice fling. It could also lose you the job and the marriage. Being married and in the same company, you are in a huge disadvantage when the relationship goes sour. I have seen this happen a few times before: All goes well until she gets so attached to you that she wants you to divorce. All goes well until you are sick of it. Then, the trouble starts. Blackmail. Wife sues coworker for homewrecking. Coworker sues.

My advice: pay. If the wife is Japanese, she most likely will assume that you do it anyway. It's not cheating when money changes hands. No trouble at the office.
 
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Babaram said:
My advice: Don't.

It could be a nice fling. It could also lose you the job and the marriage. Being married and in the same company, you are in a huge disadvantage when the relationship goes sour. I have seen this happen a few times before: All goes well until she gets so attached to you that she wants you to divorce. All goes well until you are sick of it. Then, the trouble starts. Blackmail. Wife sues coworker for homewrecking. Coworker sues.

My advice: pay. If the wife is Japanese, she most likely will assume that you do it anyway. It's not cheating when money changes hands. No trouble at the office.
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ur19877 said:
Love that logic...unfortunately my wife wouldn't see it that way..
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This is not as much as in marriage, but its LEGALLY not cheating, meaning that she likely cant sue you for p4p while she can sue you for having an affair with a colleague.
 
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I've had one office fling but it was in the states and she was totally cool. We stopped when I moved here but when she came on a business trip we had another go. Much as I'd like to try it here, (seriously hot women!) the fact that my wife works in my office throttles me quite well lol! I'm also sensing that, polite and private as they appear, Japanese know a lot about their colleagues... they read all your FB posts but never like comment.. My wife enlightened me on this when she joined my company this year. I'd be damn careful here.

Also... My wife is Japanese and always suspicious of me. I find it hard to believe that telling her it's only p4p will be ok.. however, I've seen how big the chasm is between east and west on many occasions so maybe she would rather I just confess than hide it... sounds too good to be true.
Btw... same for my sex life and marriage.. neither anywhere near good....
nice to talk among kindred spirits.
 
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User#8628 said:
If she has an eastern mind she would rather you do it and don't confess it...
Its usually don't ask, don't tell with Japanese married couples.
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Thank for the Advice Alice! 20 yrs living and working here still leave me wondering if I've learned anything... humbling...
 
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I think the fact that you are asking others for advice is your own answer. After all, if confident about yourself (meant with respect) and your marriage, then clearly you wouldn't be asking in the first place. Hence, why not try and spice things up with your partner once more and see if "the old spark" stil exists. If not, then you have to decide about accepting your current situation, or seeking something else that rekindles this area of your life. Good luck, eithe way!
 
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e-smile said:
To me it's OK if they are in the same rank, sleeping with the boss would be a bad idea indeed. Also she knows he's married so she will understand what to avoid to not cause him problems.
I had two different affairs with co-worker and it was easier to deal with than others, I thought it was convenient in many ways.
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Actually its very "Japanese".
 
(I wonder what's been going on with)
 
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