Quick update, I did up going through with it last week. Don't feel like going into too much detail, but I used a service well vouched for here to book an escort. It was a positive experience for me – had a nice chat, cuddled, popped twice in two hours, very satisfied by end of encounter. All in all, probably the most sexually satisfied I've ever been. I do worry that it wasn't enjoyable enough for her, because if I'm being honest I'm terrible at these things, but I'm not letting that bother me too much given that this was my initial foray into P4P.
So far, it hasn't bothered me. In fact, that feeling of being sated carried into the weekend where it (along with a nice meal and a couple glasses of light wine beforehand) helped me keep my cool in an international party I attended. Nothing worth mentioning happened at the party (though I did get approached a couple times and got called an ikemen), but I was able to just exist and be super chilled through the party in a way I've never been able to before. Very zen. Normally I can't enjoy parties without being stupid drunk, and even then it's no good because removing my inhibition awakens my inner thirsty-ass asshole who just gets turned down all night (no wonder). So in summary, as dumb as it might sound, the encounter may have actually improved my game that night (or not? maybe it's placebo effect).
We'll see if this comes back to claw at my conscience later, but for now I'm mainly inspired to find some way to bump my income up high enough to be able to book without having to worry about it too much. Also having had a taste of the women here, I'm feeling a stronger urge to fix up my broken Japanese skills to the point of conversation for pickup, relationships, etc.
