I Accidentally Put A Small Hole In The Wall At My Wife's Family's House?

[TokyoJoeblow]

So this weekend I was cleaning my room really vigorously after slamming a red bull and I tripped while I had a chair in my hands and it put a small hole in the wall. I was actually moving the chair out of the way to vacuum and my feet tripped over my futon. The chair slammed into the wall and now I have this new problem in my life. I have a poster covering it up now, while I figure out whether to fix it myself or tell my wife's mom or the landlord directly.

The problem is that my wife's mother doesn't like me that much. She doesn't hate me, but I can almost guarantee she will think I threw it on purpose in a fit of anger (yes, I'm sure people on here will think so too). Although I never threw anything, her mom knows I have an anger issue because she had overheard me and my wife argue before but a long time ago. She even told my wife that she thinks I'm violent and that I might hit her or throw something in the future...so she will just assume it was on purpose. I would never harm my wife. The worst that ever happens is that we yell at each other and follow it up with a mutual silent treatment.

Since her mother would probably not believe me, I'm tempted to maybe talk to the landlord directly. The landlord isn't friendly my wife tells me but she did say that his son is friendly and usually is the one to fix things.

We are trying to avoid a future domestic violence investigation. I know that Japan has adopted strict laws against this and I don't want to end up going to jail or have to pay some huge fine for something that was an accident.

I'm totally at a loss for what to do and I decided I would post it on here as there are people on here that know a lot more about Japan than I do.

 

[R.O.B]

Be a man and own up to your mother-in-law about doing housework....
Just tell her and work it our like humans, for goodness sake.
The other alternative is get some kami-nedo and fix it yourself.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Be a man and own up to your mother-in-law about doing housework....
Just tell her and work it our like humans, for goodness sake.
The other alternative is get some kami-nedo and fix it yourself.

Yes, I know I will be a man. I'm not afraid of the mom or people physically. I'm worried about the fact that she will not understand my Japanese or just not trust me. What if she just calls up the police? What if the police just all think I'm lying and that it was on purpose? I want to look into fixing it myself of maybe talking to the landlord's friendlier son. Has anyone been in a situation like this?

 

[Sudsy]

What if she just calls up the police?

Nobody in the household has any injuries. The police would likely chew her out for wasting their time, even if you HAD thrown a chair into the wall.

 

[namae]

Ask your wife to explain the situation to her Mum and offer to pay for the repairs to the wall. No need to escalate this into a major incident .... it is trivial.

 

[TAG Manager]

Ask your wife to explain the situation to her Mum and offer to pay for the repairs to the wall. No need to escalate this into a major incident .... it is trivial.

+1 - Best reply.

Stop thinking everything is so dramatic.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I just want to stress that my wife's mom really hates me. Even if I clean the house everyday, she always points out things I forgot to do, things I did the wrong way or things I didn't do well enough, etc.

I just know her well enough to know that when either my wife or I try to explain the situation, she will just get super pissed off and not be reasonable or understanding at all. She will most likely just tell me to get the hell out and never come back lol.

By the way, how much would it usually cost to repair a hole in the wall? I hope it isn't like 50,000 yen or something because my wife mentioned I might need to replace the entire wall with the wall paper as well instead of just plaster over and sand down that one spot?

 

[MossBoss]

I can't imagine why anyone would live with the in-laws - sounds like a recipe for disaster even if they are decent people.

 

[R.O.B]

How BIG is this freakin' hole and is it shape lime a foot (stool)? And I can hear the nodding over the decription of mum.

 

[Mr Cat]

The problem is that my wife's mother doesn't like me that much. She doesn't hate me

I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I just want to stress that my wife's mom really hates me.

So which is it?

 

[John Chavers]

Has anyone been in a situation like this?

No. You are certifiable.

 

[Goiter]

Just trolling. Can't believe everyone buys into this stuff......

 

[roots reggae]

Goiter,

"Just trolling. Can't believe everyone buys into this stuff......"

Perhaps you misunderstand. We are not buying, just window-shopping and marveling at the display.

Some of us are Star Trek Fans, as well, observing one who dares "to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

 

[Goshogawara]

During my time in Japan a few years ago I also happened to break the drywall because I always put my foot there when watching TV. Using some glue it was possible to fix it, the difficult part was to find a wallpaper similar to the old one. Ended up repapering the whole wall, but it was a small room and two walls were 障子 anyway.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

So which is it?

I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out myself. Some days my wife says she hates me and other days she says she doesn't like me. I think it is controlled by the weather.

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out myself. Some days my wife says she hates me and other days she says she doesn't like me. I think it is controlled by the weather.

You sure that is not you?

If I were you I would be more worried about getting deported when publicly molesting women instead of some minor accidental damage to the house. Did you have that kind of paranoia before coming to Japan too?

 

[namae]

Just trolling. Can't believe everyone buys into this stuff......

"IF" he is a troll, then he is in a worse mental state than his fictional character. He is quite invested in the fiction - wasting several hours per day on TBJ for what seems like a very little reward/satisfaction. Maybe engaging the troll ( 100 on 1) with short simple responses is a pretty good way to control the troll. Out troll the troll so to speak. While he wastes time on TBJ, life passes him by. He thinks he is winning, but a troll can only be the loser in the internet chat game. (BTW, I am not a Trekkie, and hope that we don't have too many Trekkies on this board ).

 

[Desktop]

I believe if real the poster needs a dude friend in real life that he trust to say: "You did what?"

 

[rouscy]

You should find a way to poison your wife secretly and your problem will be solved.

....

Just kinding of course.

I think you should have a talk with your wife's mother to explain clearly that you don't mean to be violent and that she is missanderstood you if she think that. You should really find a way to make her anderstand that, with your wife if your japanese is not good enough. If you don't do that you will have same kinds of problems with her in the future ..

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

You sure that is not you?

If I were you I would be more worried about getting deported when publicly molesting women instead of some minor accidental damage to the house. Did you have that kind of paranoia before coming to Japan too?

Yes, I'm paranoid about when I used to hit on women on the streets and get physical. I stopped doing this, but yes I have always been a paranoid individual. I'm not trolling, though I can understand why people would think so.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Are there literally no repairmen services in Japan that don't need to go through the landlord in order to fix something? I figured I would be able to at least find any ads listed online, but my wife told me she can't find anyone. I have some DIY tools and materials, but the paint of the walls here are so old that the color of the paint is difficult to match. It is like this aged, dark beige-ish color. I thought I would call up some house painter just to see if he would help me match the paint? Are my only choices literally fix it myself or tell the landlord directly and face the music? In the US, I would have been able to find someone to come by and fix it, pay him cash, no questions asked...

 

[R.O.B]

Why dig a hole as well as have a hole in the wall - tell the bloody landlord, explain what happened, be very apologetic, give them a list of repair services you have found, explain you will cover the repairs... What are you so worried about????

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Why dig a hole as well as have a hole in the wall - tell the bloody landlord, explain what happened, be very apologetic, give them a list of repair services you have found, explain you will cover the repairs... What are you so worried about????

I'm worried because I'm the only foreigner this landlord will probably ever deal with and it is over a hole, which screams suspicion of violent behavior.

My wife said this lanlord complains a lot over little things, so when he finds out about this who knows what can of worms will open up.

I will maybe do what you say, but I will just have my stuff packed up and ready as I will most likely be kicked out on the spot.

 

[R.O.B]

Sounds like a lot of 'ifs' and 'maybes'. Why would a hole "scream... violent behaviour" unless you did in fact put your fist or foot through it, and your wife knows it, your mother-in-love knows it etc etc.
You seem to have anticipated the outcome - face up, man, and deal with it.

 

[split]

You know. Us westerners are very clumsy in these small apartments. I sure as hell know I am. You could easily send the handle of a vacuum cleaner through the wall given the tight spaces between the bed/wall/furniture. You can even easily lose your balance trying to turn around with the vacuum in hand and fall down onto the handle of which the your body weight pushed it into the wall. If the hole is high enough you can say you were planning to put up some L-bracketed bookshelving on the walls and as you were standing on the small ladder when your foot slipped with tools in hand hitting the wall.