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- Jun 4, 2017
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* warning *, fairly long post.
I've been to night clubs I think 4 or 5 times. when I was in Tokyo and did that I managed to hook up 2 times but I'm beginning to think I got more lucky than anything, you probably don't need any particularly good nampa skills to hook up in clubs but still. (also, maybe, it's somewhat easier in Tokyo for a foreigner? People mentioning gaijin hunters and all. correct me if I'm wrong though, as you can clearly tell I don't have much - if any - experience in this field)
anyhow, I recently decided to hit a club again, this time in Kyoto, and I'd like to get some advice and possibly be told if / what I did wrong, what to expect and / or how to improve.
so, with the "lets hook up" plan in mind, my idea was to enter the club not too soon (I went in around 12 am) and stay until 4-5 am or until it closes, then at first take a look around, drink something and make some (Japanese males 95% of the time) friends, maybe dance although I'm awful at it, have a good time and all. you could say it's also for just being able to hit more easily on girls later, or just to find a group of people to approach group of girls with. or just to pretend the night wasn't a complete waste if I managed to make a few friends and have some fun.
I don't have many issues in making friends with the Japanese males being there, or sometimes foreigners too.
in this case, I did that, met a few people, and then started talking to girls. at first with this other guy and then his friends (it was always a 2 on 2 situation though, not like 5 guys talking to 2 girls) and then by myself. also let me be honest, I wasn't just trying to talk to "so beautiful i would marry on the spot" sort of girls, I just kinda threw myself to girls to whom I wasn't even that much attracted.
as you probably guessed by now, it didn't go too well. the excuse I heard the most was "i have to go to the toilet" and then quietly disappear, which is pretty hilarious but I guess they just don't feel like saying "I'm not interested so bye". then a few girls would just turn over to her friends (did I mention every single one of them was not by herself? I guess that's normal for a night club though) and talk to them instead - basically ignoring me. I'll take those as hints to not being wanted. I mean I think it's pretty easy to tell when they're not interested, e.g. they don't ask you anything and you're the only one talking, and / or barely look at you. or at least, that's what I think.
as far as talking and approach goes, I was simply asking for her name/where she lives/what she does etc. while talking about myself and so on, I'm guessing the standard conversation, nor that I think what you say matters that much in clubs. after that I was planning on asking her to dance or drink something with me but I almost never got there because they either left earlier or clearly showed no interest. at some point after that (assuming there is mutual interest) you either make out and easily go to an hotel, or just ask her if she wants to go for a walk outside while secretly bringing her to the nearest hotel/your apartment. or just get her number.
I think I read in here from someone that one good approach is to move to girl around the club with you, so dancing/drinking together - I guess I moved them by making them go to the toilet ww
that being said, and here's the advice/questions part, I don't know if: I did something wrong / could have done something better or differently for better results. if I gave up too soon on them and if me thinking "they clearly aren't interested" was too quick of a judgment. AND if I'm supposed to hit on like every girl I see while also expecting A LOT of rejections, (I think I hit on 10 girls or so? Can't remember that well and it's not like I was counting) then just move on.
also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like looks are the most important thing in clubs, yes? Then I guess you could also say I'm not good-looking enough to being able to constantly hook with someone there. I usually see other foreigners there with better looks than me, if that can give you any indication.
there was this one girl who - I thought - approached me. generally speaking I believe the approach of Japanese girls in clubs is a shy movement towards you, looking at you and that's about it. it happened a few times (those times when I also managed to hook up) and I also think someone else in here mentioned this.
but this was during the time I was talking to one of those friends I made there, so I guess she could have approached him instead, although I thought she was looking at me.
anyway, she also got a bit more touchy than what I usually get (besides the obvious get close to your hear because you cant hear shit with the loud music), and after talking I asked her if she wanted to dance or drink and said something like "I'm fine here, but you can go if u want", then more or less started ignoring me. I guess she wasn't interested after all?
funnily enough, I had better results after leaving the club after it closed and talking to a bunch of Japanese people outside in front of the club until 6-7 am. it was a bunch of guys and 2 girls but almost all the guys left pretty soon - long story short: I managed to add one of those girls on LINE, and I think she was somewhat interested and said something like "I like your beard" but I was pretty fucking tired so she might have not.
in the end, if nothing else, you could say I'm improving in being more social or in just talking to girls I possibly want to bone, since I remember the first I hit a club I barely spoke to anyone.
Soooo - if any nampa/clubbing expert here would like to give me some feedback or advice regarding what I wrote it'd be appreciated.
I'm planning on hitting clubs again, but I might try Osaka next. that one I went was supposedly the best and most crowded in Kyoto but it was much smaller than I thought. not many people inside it either, on Saturday night.
- -
another unrelated thing, I had some questions regarding a girl who I "matched" with (not tinder but same shit) and she wants to actually meet. is it ok to ask about that in this section as well?
~a dude
I've been to night clubs I think 4 or 5 times. when I was in Tokyo and did that I managed to hook up 2 times but I'm beginning to think I got more lucky than anything, you probably don't need any particularly good nampa skills to hook up in clubs but still. (also, maybe, it's somewhat easier in Tokyo for a foreigner? People mentioning gaijin hunters and all. correct me if I'm wrong though, as you can clearly tell I don't have much - if any - experience in this field)
anyhow, I recently decided to hit a club again, this time in Kyoto, and I'd like to get some advice and possibly be told if / what I did wrong, what to expect and / or how to improve.
so, with the "lets hook up" plan in mind, my idea was to enter the club not too soon (I went in around 12 am) and stay until 4-5 am or until it closes, then at first take a look around, drink something and make some (Japanese males 95% of the time) friends, maybe dance although I'm awful at it, have a good time and all. you could say it's also for just being able to hit more easily on girls later, or just to find a group of people to approach group of girls with. or just to pretend the night wasn't a complete waste if I managed to make a few friends and have some fun.
I don't have many issues in making friends with the Japanese males being there, or sometimes foreigners too.
in this case, I did that, met a few people, and then started talking to girls. at first with this other guy and then his friends (it was always a 2 on 2 situation though, not like 5 guys talking to 2 girls) and then by myself. also let me be honest, I wasn't just trying to talk to "so beautiful i would marry on the spot" sort of girls, I just kinda threw myself to girls to whom I wasn't even that much attracted.
as you probably guessed by now, it didn't go too well. the excuse I heard the most was "i have to go to the toilet" and then quietly disappear, which is pretty hilarious but I guess they just don't feel like saying "I'm not interested so bye". then a few girls would just turn over to her friends (did I mention every single one of them was not by herself? I guess that's normal for a night club though) and talk to them instead - basically ignoring me. I'll take those as hints to not being wanted. I mean I think it's pretty easy to tell when they're not interested, e.g. they don't ask you anything and you're the only one talking, and / or barely look at you. or at least, that's what I think.
as far as talking and approach goes, I was simply asking for her name/where she lives/what she does etc. while talking about myself and so on, I'm guessing the standard conversation, nor that I think what you say matters that much in clubs. after that I was planning on asking her to dance or drink something with me but I almost never got there because they either left earlier or clearly showed no interest. at some point after that (assuming there is mutual interest) you either make out and easily go to an hotel, or just ask her if she wants to go for a walk outside while secretly bringing her to the nearest hotel/your apartment. or just get her number.
I think I read in here from someone that one good approach is to move to girl around the club with you, so dancing/drinking together - I guess I moved them by making them go to the toilet ww
that being said, and here's the advice/questions part, I don't know if: I did something wrong / could have done something better or differently for better results. if I gave up too soon on them and if me thinking "they clearly aren't interested" was too quick of a judgment. AND if I'm supposed to hit on like every girl I see while also expecting A LOT of rejections, (I think I hit on 10 girls or so? Can't remember that well and it's not like I was counting) then just move on.
also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like looks are the most important thing in clubs, yes? Then I guess you could also say I'm not good-looking enough to being able to constantly hook with someone there. I usually see other foreigners there with better looks than me, if that can give you any indication.
there was this one girl who - I thought - approached me. generally speaking I believe the approach of Japanese girls in clubs is a shy movement towards you, looking at you and that's about it. it happened a few times (those times when I also managed to hook up) and I also think someone else in here mentioned this.
but this was during the time I was talking to one of those friends I made there, so I guess she could have approached him instead, although I thought she was looking at me.
anyway, she also got a bit more touchy than what I usually get (besides the obvious get close to your hear because you cant hear shit with the loud music), and after talking I asked her if she wanted to dance or drink and said something like "I'm fine here, but you can go if u want", then more or less started ignoring me. I guess she wasn't interested after all?
funnily enough, I had better results after leaving the club after it closed and talking to a bunch of Japanese people outside in front of the club until 6-7 am. it was a bunch of guys and 2 girls but almost all the guys left pretty soon - long story short: I managed to add one of those girls on LINE, and I think she was somewhat interested and said something like "I like your beard" but I was pretty fucking tired so she might have not.
in the end, if nothing else, you could say I'm improving in being more social or in just talking to girls I possibly want to bone, since I remember the first I hit a club I barely spoke to anyone.
Soooo - if any nampa/clubbing expert here would like to give me some feedback or advice regarding what I wrote it'd be appreciated.
I'm planning on hitting clubs again, but I might try Osaka next. that one I went was supposedly the best and most crowded in Kyoto but it was much smaller than I thought. not many people inside it either, on Saturday night.
- -
another unrelated thing, I had some questions regarding a girl who I "matched" with (not tinder but same shit) and she wants to actually meet. is it ok to ask about that in this section as well?
~a dude
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