Hey, sorry I was on the rush these days.
but what can I say, I like an aggressive approach
Yes, that's why I said I got it that you like omae, I figured you liked agressive style.
By the way may I ask if you're Japanese or a foreigner? Your English sounds more like native English, and even if you're Japanese I get that you're not typical and that I should take your answers with a grain of salt, but just wondering, if you don't mind of course.
I kinda dig the "konnichiwa" as well, could totally see that work in a drinking environment. (Would probably have to drink some myself as well to appreciate that though.)
Ok cool, yes mostly drinking environnment, or can be just in a chill environment where the girl isn't going somewhere or doing anything in particular, like she's in a slow pace and you're not interrupting her.
In drinking places I also just simply say kanpai, when I or the girl receives a drink, we kanpai and if she's happy to kanpai we start chatting, most often it's pretty smooth.
Also nampa is always kind of obvious imo. I wouldn't take offense feeling like "this guy is talking to me because he thinks I'm cute", unless it has the vibe of someone who is taking to every girl who passes by who is above a 6 to him or something, and even then, if the guy is hot I guess there could be a mutual use in that?
Yes, I see. Actually that's really a point, for me at least. Finding the balance between "it's ok that it's pretty clear, don't overthink it", "have a natural thing to say that sounds like just normal life and you have no particular agenda", and evaluate the girl's openness to nampa that is nampa, as opposed to "oh, I just met a nice guy", how she's used to nampa or not, what she thinks about it or what she wants to pretend she thinks about it, … and how to negociate all that.
They can all meet naturally because it's actually natural, and likely because you have a genuine interest of the girl besides the fact that she's cute.
But when you're not in a state of grace, it's a good way lose your confidence and just be awkward.
I'm often trying to avoid letting her understand that actually she just burnt my eyes and right now that's it, because of fear of making her not respected as a real person and not only a cute girl.
But maybe I overthink it and should just be fine with that.
Japanese ladies prefer some deniability in case of a scandal. So they may want to tell themselves that even though a guy chatted them up , it was not really nampa
Yes, totally. The other day I was having a date with a girl and she said she wasn't used to be talked to by strangers, and after a short back-and-forth she said well or it's just nampa, and laughed, and I was thinking, well, I did genuinely like your energy, but what do you think, it was definitely nampa.
They also like to ask you "what made you talk to me, why did you want to talk to me?" with a perfectly genuine face.
So I usually answer something like, well of course I thought you were very suteki or kawaii or whatever comes, … but beyond that, "I liked your energy", "thought you had kind eyes, nice style…", emphasizing this one as the important or trigger-reason. Which can totally be sincere, but I'm also like, really?
I never really know if I'm supposed to explicit that I found her cute, usually if she asks why talking to her I will mention it, but, I never know if she wants to hear it, because hey, it's cool, or if she wants to hear something deeper than that, or that just differentiates from the 2458 other guys that might have approached her today for the same reason.
But I have dated someone in the past who I have met at a fancy public place who started conversation with a question and displayed interest and helpfulness.
It’s still just nampa to me personally. No different from the street to me.
Yes, I agree, it's kind nampa, which is totally cool, but it's nampa.