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Opinions About Coworkers

silencio

silencio

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Hey, I bet we all got very attracted to a coworker at one time in our life.
Even if she had a boyfriend ( lucky) or was married (not so lucky).

So do you approach coworkers or is it a no-go for you?

Sometimes, when you're simpin, you might think that she is interested in you, even more is she is a quick laugher.

But of course it is neccessary to keep a cool and subjective view of the situation.

In my case, I fell for a Japanese girl at work in which I wasn't interested in the slightest way for the first three month but now she somehow got.

I basically just try to act like before with a bit of C&F here and there as well as light Kino.

Last time, after I had sex with another Chick, I even dreamed about her giving me a blowjob. From that night on it was decided.

I plan to stay at this work for three more month maximum, but I still Dont want to make it uncomfortable for the both of us.

So i am thinking about asking her out to eat after work (casual) and try to see where it leads. If i try to kiss her then it will come of way less weird as if i would try it at work in the kitchen, toilet lol.

What are your opinions and experiences about that topic in Japan?
And how did you approach?
The best thing for sure is just to do and not to thing to much but money is involved and one want to receive at least two more checks before Quitting.

Greetz
 
The last serious relationship I had, which was 4 years ago, was with a co-worker when I was living in Niigata. She was just someone I worked with a lot and we had a lot of conversation and we learned we had a lot in common. We just ended up spending a lot of time together and things took off from there. We had a very good relationship and we didn't feel things went too fast or slow. Things just felt right.

Unfortunately it was cut short because we both got transferred and we were in no position to continue the way we wanted to. Then it spiraled me into maybe forever punting.

Do you talk to this co-worker a lot? What do you know about her? What does she know about you?
 
If you try to kiss this girl in your work kitchen, or work toilet then you may be subject to disciplinary action if the attempt isn't appreciated.

I think it's much easier to try and arrange a social situation where there is a bunch of you, and judge if she is interested outside of the working environment when you get some personal space in which to talk to her. I know it's easy to fall for people at work, most relationships start there, but it's also one of the most dangerous places to start one because of all the implications of things going wrong and causing a situation in your work environment. If the relationship is at the level that you can ask her out for something to eat, without it coming across as a date, then 1:1 would be easier but it depends on your work relationship.
 
If she sort of knows you, which she probably does already, and she agrees to go out one-on-one then that is a good sign. Normalguy's advice in hand but in a group she may still be playing the 'in group' role. Alone she would be herself. But be cool, mate! Take it slow if she is someone you want to care about. Kiss in context in Japan! A kitchen is not context (unless it is your or her kitchen - then, light my fiiiirrreeee!) Good luck!
 
If you are only going to stay at that job for another 3 months max, then go for it. Otherwise not a great idea but sex in the office can be fun.
 
I'd just start by asking her out for lunch or for coffee or something after work.

The main thing I'd suggest if she does go out with you is to be discreet about it. Don't tell anyone you work with that you are going out with her unless she says its okay, because the work rumor mill is lightning-fast, and women especially face a lot of pressure as it is at work. Many Japanese women either plan to or are expected to work until they get married, and dating is the first foot out the door. It creates social pressure and can even hurt their career prospects.
 
But if you already have a decent friendship with her or you have chances to interact casually on a regular basis, that's a start.
 
i say go for it. especially if you only plan to be at this place for three more months. arrange some drinks with a group of your co-workers and start the conversation with her there. if that goes well, then go for a one-on-one meeting. regardless of what happens, if you always play it cool while in the office, then things should be fine.
more generally speaking, i get the feeling that many japanese women expect to meet someone at the office that they would date, if not marry. this may be easier to navigate than you think. good luck.
 
I don't recommend dating or trying co-workers, however I have done so in the past. It may at first sound a bit hypocritical, but comes from my experience and of my pals. We only believe in "taking a shot" under limited circumstances.

1) 2 week rule

If you are new or she is new, there is that 2 week period where you can get away with a lot and there can be a lot of interest in you as the new guy.

After 2 weeks starts to become dangerous. HIGHLY recommend NOT talking to co-workers afterwards. Because if there isn't that instant natural chemistry, it can be that the guy is being too persistent or applying too much pressure to try and get her on a date, thus in the sexual harassment zone. People in the office may start to notice your affections towards her.

2) Try talking to her privately, where people don't see you.

Catch her coming out the bathroom, going into the elevator on the way home after work, etc... Avoid having co-workers seeing you making moves. Your co-workers can label what you are doing as sexual harassment, even if you or she doesn't think so, and rat you out to managers and HR.

3) Dinner parties and company events, that fall in the 2 week period can be good.

End of the year, company events, etc... Often the rules are a bit loose, so you can have a conversation with her, as if at a normal social event or bar.

The trick is NOT to try and sex her that night, as that can end VERY badly, as you are still in a work environment (though less formal). Better to simply get her contacts and meet her alone later.

4) Focus On Getting Her Private Info

NEVER contact her via work phone or work e-mail. You can be committing job suicide or get setup into a sexual harassment claim.

Get her private e-mail, LINE, phone, etc... It also PROTECTS you from any sexual harassment claims, as HR will doubt any such claims by her, if she willingly gave her private info. It's considered a TRUE indicator, that she really is interested.

5) If you are banging a co-worker, keep it extremely "down-low" and tell nobody. Avoid even looking like a couple or any affection in the office.

When other co-workers find out or suspect, they can tell HR.

6) Hope and pray she is mentally stable when you break up. Avoid office conflicts.

The boss or HR, can fire or transfer one of you, who they think is LESS important to the company. I've seen where female employees went mental after an office affair breakup, thought the guy would get fired or transferred, but instead she was.

I've even seen devious Japanese guys, to avoid office romance conflicts, pull off the trick of asking other male co-workers or friends from a different company to try and purposely sleep with his office girlfriend. This way she breaks up with him or she thinks that she is cheating on him without him knowing, so says nothing when he "finds out" and breaks up with her.

7) If after 2 weeks, try the SWITCH trick.

Have guys from OTHER companies arrange a party where you or he invite female co-workers to the event. Can be semi-business. You talk or get introduced to your friend's co-workers at the DIFFERENT company.
 
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