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Please Help Me Find Love!

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Only you can decide if its right to see a woman outside your marriage and how it will affect your wife and your relationship with her.

As for Sugar Daddy that is not some thing I have seen or heard of in Japan, but I am aware that married men do spend time with a Mistress, who they may or may not share costs with when meeting, a lot depends on the arrangement they have, these mistresses could be married or single.

I have discussed this with my wife and we both agree that we do not feel that your problem has anything to do with you being brown, we feel its more related to these girls not wanting to date a man who is Married, or that you are over weight, or your attitude when you talk to them, we have never known a Japanese woman to be rude, just because you approach them, as they are more likely to just ignore you.

Thank you for writing. I think I have been very unlucky finding love. I am good looking, maybe a bit too shy to start with but irrespective of me declaring my status (married or single), I have been rejected a thousand times. I almost everyday check classifieds, try and contact girls. 99% of them ask me where I am from. When I say that I am form India, there is never a reply. I am not sure if this could be coincidence. I am not talking about writing to one girl or 10 girls. I am talking about writing to many girls. I consider myself a good speaker, I don't talk rubbish. Where I am falling short? I can't figure out.
 
I would suggest you are not so direct in offering up where you are from if that it is creating a problem.

As for seeking love my wife and I cannot really answer that question because for her a man who needs love is weak in her eyes.

I think you should not try so hard and focus more on just meeting people and making friends and stop thinking about dating and love.

Take up some hobbies where you meet other people and drop the classifieds and dating sites if they are not working.
 
I would suggest you are not so direct in offering up where you are from if that it is creating a problem.

As for seeking love my wife and I cannot really answer that question because for her a man who needs love is weak in her eyes.

I think you should not try so hard and focus more on just meeting people and making friends and stop thinking about dating and love.

Take up some hobbies where you meet other people and drop the classifieds and dating sites if they are not working.
Thanks for your advice. You are right, I must try another way. Say thank you to you wife as well for me. I appreciate your thinking deep.
 
If Japanese women see needing love as weakness, I am starting to see why I can't get any action from my wife. :rage:

Anyway, can you find a bollywood dance class? Might be easier to make a connection in person.
 
What is sugar dating? How does it work in Japan? I know there is separate catagory for it but can someone throw some light on it? I read about some Universe Club on another thread. Do they help people with troubled marriage as well?
 
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What is sugar dating? How does it work in Japan? I know there is separate catagory for it but can someone throw some light on it? I read about some Universe Club on another thread. Do they help people with troubled marriage as well?

No, it's not help for troubled marriage.

It's simply a system of you paying a girl to go on a date... it's not about love, just companionship. Things could happen later on, but at the start, it's purely a financial arrangement. You pay the girl (or agency) money, girl meets you and you have a date. More things could happen, but it's totally up to the girl in the end.

If you want to be a sugar daddy and have a regular girl, you'll need to expect to pay a monthly allowance or whatever is agreed upon between you and the girl. Some arrangements are pay-per-date, others are more like pay-per-month with a certain number of meetings per month.

In the end, it's for your companionship, do don't expect love.

Also, while no one has come out and said it so far, I'll say it here. -- Your largest setback is going to be that you're Indian, not because you're married. It's just a simple fact that Japanese women are mostly turned off from Indian men for various reasons. There is a small percentage that are into Indian men, but most of them went to India to meet men.... -- Your personality, income, status and appearance may be all fine and good... but you'll face a deep racist attitude from women just because of where you are from..

Edit: You can still get rejected from girls that are members of Universe Club, just because of your nationality. Please keep that in mind....
 
No, it's not help for troubled marriage.

It's simply a system of you paying a girl to go on a date... it's not about love, just companionship. Things could happen later on, but at the start, it's purely a financial arrangement. You pay the girl (or agency) money, girl meets you and you have a date. More things could happen, but it's totally up to the girl in the end.

If you want to be a sugar daddy and have a regular girl, you'll need to expect to pay a monthly allowance or whatever is agreed upon between you and the girl. Some arrangements are pay-per-date, others are more like pay-per-month with a certain number of meetings per month.

In the end, it's for your companionship, do don't expect love.

Also, while no one has come out and said it so far, I'll say it here. -- Your largest setback is going to be that you're Indian, not because you're married. It's just a simple fact that Japanese women are mostly turned off from Indian men for various reasons. There is a small percentage that are into Indian men, but most of them went to India to meet men.... -- Your personality, income, status and appearance may be all fine and good... but you'll face a deep racist attitude from women just because of where you are from..

Edit: You can still get rejected from girls that are members of Universe Club, just because of your nationality. Please keep that in mind....
This is what I have faced for last 8 to 10 years, being rejected because of my nationality. I was confused reading comments here, I was beginning to blame my stars, my luck and my attitude. But the fact is what you said.
 
Also, while no one has come out and said it so far, I'll say it here. -- Your largest setback is going to be that you're Indian, not because you're married. It's just a simple fact that Japanese women are mostly turned off from Indian men for various reasons. There is a small percentage that are into Indian men, but most of them went to India to meet men.... -- Your personality, income, status and appearance may be all fine and good... but you'll face a deep racist attitude from women just because of where you are from..

My wife and I discussed this and based on her views she did not feel that Japanese women would have a problem with Indians, but her experience was many years ago, today and for many years I have noticed that Japanese women who are interested in dating a foreigner, are basing their choice on country of origin, as they have this idea of wanting to live outside Japan and they have preferred countries with the US being top of the list.
 
My wife and I discussed this and based on her views she did not feel that Japanese women would have a problem with Indians, but her experience was many years ago, today and for many years I have noticed that Japanese women who are interested in dating a foreigner, are basing their choice on country of origin, as they have this idea of wanting to live outside Japan and they have preferred countries with the US being top of the list.

Yes and no.
Japanese women that I'm in contact with usually bash Indians because of their food, smell (connected to food and personal hygiene) and culture. (they don't like it) - There is also negative news coming out of India time by time that exhibit women on a much lower scale than men.

Edit: To date, I've met zero Japanese women that would consider dating an Indian... it's very sad but a fact based on a wide sample base.
 
This is what I have faced for last 8 to 10 years, being rejected because of my nationality. I was confused reading comments here, I was beginning to blame my stars, my luck and my attitude. But the fact is what you said.

And I'm very sorry that it is that way... truly.
 
Yes and no.
Japanese women that I'm in contact with usually bash Indians because of their food, smell (connected to food and personal hygiene) and culture. (they don't like it) - There is also negative news coming out of India time by time that exhibit women on a much lower scale than men.

Edit: To date, I've met zero Japanese women that would consider dating an Indian... it's very sad but a fact based on a wide sample base.
That thinking is wrong. India is huge and there are so many cultures and food and languages. I am from a sort of conservative background but we are well to do, manners are of top importance. Respecting even the lifeless things is the way of life. We takes showers at least twice, our days start with thanking the almighty for everything.

Still what you said is fairly true about the mindset of Japanese women.
 
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Still what you said is fairly true about the mindset of Japanese women.

And that's what matters.... no matter what actually happens in India or what your customs are. That is the view that needs to be changed...
 
Yes and no.
Japanese women that I'm in contact with usually bash Indians because of their food, smell (connected to food and personal hygiene) and culture. (they don't like it) - There is also negative news coming out of India time by time that exhibit women on a much lower scale than men.

Edit: To date, I've met zero Japanese women that would consider dating an Indian... it's very sad but a fact based on a wide sample base.

My experience with Japanese women in the part of Japan we live in, would never bash anyone, its just not some thing they do in this part of the country, may be he would do better looking outside the city he lives in.
 
My experience with Japanese women in the part of Japan we live in, would never bash anyone, its just not some thing they do in this part
of the country, may be he would do better looking outside Tokyo.

I didn't say Tokyo, did I?
 
well, what tag manager said is true and its like that for other nationalities, too...
but you dont have to date japanese women, there are enough people out there... im sure nationality doesnt matter to you, anyway...

just go somewhere, where you can meet people (--> everywhere outside of your apartment)...
 
japanese bash a lot btw^^ they just dont let you know...

The man is on point.

You+also+win+my+good+sir.+quot+Well+why+did+I+_96952ef87ab88aa1bca6b9028d5974ca.jpg
 
A very interesting thread I must say.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel a bit underwhelmed by your current marriage.

The advice here so far looks great and while I do not condone or advocate cheating on your spouse (to a certain extent ;)), your first obstacle is probably to figure out how to put yourself out there if you're looking for another relationship. If you're an introvert like you said and you have trouble initiating, perhaps you'll first need to fix that to find some form of romance amirite?
I think you need @Sinapse' help
He's like the one of the more vocal pua's around these parts
 
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A very interesting thread I must say.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel a bit underwhelmed by your current marriage.

The advice here so far looks great and while I do not condone or advocate cheating on your spouse (to a certain extent ;)), your first obstacle is probably to figure out how to put yourself out there if you're looking for another relationship. If you're an introvert like you said and you have trouble initiating, perhaps you'll first need to fix that to find some form of romance amirite?
I think you need @Sinapse' help
He's like the one of the more vocal pua's around these parts
Yes, I am introvert to start with but once I break the ice, I know I have good sense of humor and really make a pleasant company. Let me check what you shared.
 
Unfortunately, it is true that negative stereotypes are wrongfully placed on Indian men.. but really.. no race is safe when it comes to any kind of stereotypes. I can show you a few examples:

White men - obsessed with healthy food, very outdoorsy, can't dance, collect firearms, and love rock music.

Hispanic men - act macho, get possessive when dating, like their food spicy, are party animals, and are extra romantic.

Black men - like hip hop & rap music, can be violent/aggressive, drink too much, prefer thick women, and have big Ds.

Asian men - are shy, spend most of the time studying or working, are lightweight drinkers, and have small Ds.


These are all popular racial stereotypes, yet you still see these men with girlfriends and wives, or at least know some who can easily pick up women. Being an Indian man shouldn't be an exception.. you are just as capable of finding a partner in Japan :)

I'd suggest you take it easy though, and not be in such a rush to get into a relationship.. and maybe if you're comfortable with the idea, go out and meet women face-to-face instead of online. You'd most likely be saving yourself a lot of time and trouble.

BTW, some of the sweetest gentlemen I've met were businessmen from India. This is why I don't pay any mind to stereotypes. Every race has both bad and good people.
 
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Unfortunately, it is true that negative stereotypes are wrongfully placed on Indian men.. but really.. no race is safe when it comes to any kind of stereotypes. I can show you a few examples:

White men - obsessed with healthy food, very outdoorsy, can't dance, collect firearms, and love rock music.

Hispanic men - act macho, get possessive when dating, like their food spicy, are party animals, and are extra romantic.

Black men - like hip hop & rap music, can be violent/aggressive, drink too much, prefer thick women, and have big Ds.

Asian men - are shy, spend most of the time studying or working, are lightweight drinkers, and have small Ds.


These are all popular racial stereotypes, yet you still see these men with girlfriends and wives, or at least know some who can easily pick up women. Being an Indian man shouldn't be an exception.. you are just as capable of finding a partner in Japan :)

I'd suggest you take it easy though, and not be in such a rush to get into a relationship.. and maybe if you're comfortable with the idea, go out and meet women face-to-face instead of online. You'd most likely be saving yourself a lot of time and trouble.
Thanks for your kind words. I have been trying for at least 8 years. I have met and invited women to amazing places just to be turned down or never hearing from them again. Most would be straight forward to say that they are looking for Caucasian/American/African guys. I initially used to mention I am from India but not one would reach out. I stopped mentioning it and I would click sometimes to meet only to be turned down.
 
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