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Proof of Marriage for Japanese

warubuta said:
If you can’t figure out how to get your Japanese mother in law to like you, then you are almost certainly an idiot and a loser and you deserve to be disliked. Maybe some mothers in law are unreasonable bitches, but most of them are decent, middle-class people who just want their daughters to be taken care of, and of course, they want grand children. So 1) make money and cover the financial bases 2) don’t be a dick 3) make some babies, or at least one anyway 4) learn to speak Japanese. If you do these minimal things then you will get along fine. If you don’t then you will not be appreciated and, yes, you are a loser and an idiot. Have a nice day.
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Did all those things and indeed got the respect of my mother in law. Not her daughter’s though but hey, that’s something already! :)
 
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Keihan Chikan said:
Yeah, it's all FUN till the other half wakes up early on a Sunday morning to find me snoring in my office chair with my Uniqlo underwear around my ankles, empty Asahi cans across my desk, lube tube on the floor and the Google Chrome browser still open to Pornhub and the search history is something along the lines of, "EBONY, AMBF, CREAMPIE, GOLDENSHOWER, THAI, LADYBOY, MIDGET, KITTYCAT."

That's a whole hell of a lot of Louis Vuitton wallets and shoes to buy your way out of that pickle, yes sir.
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Kurogane is that you?
 
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TokyoJoeblow said:
Well, in my case I'm not using my wife for PR. I actually wanted to stay married to her and make things work. She is always nagging at me for every little thing and doesn't even try to improve our relationship, her mother hates me. It is just endless and I have no choice but to divorce or end up another marriage zombie that is just hoping for a car or train to hit me.
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Well, that's basically what you get when you marry an East Asian, particularly Japanese. It's as if they have a cultural obligation to nag. Why do you think most Japanese husbands are miserable? When I think back to my childhood, being in my grandparents' house so often, I can recognize now how miserable my grandmother made my grandfather, and simply by nagging the shit out of him for fifty years.

A previous position I held here stateside involved overseeing a lot of real estate operations, and a large percentage of the clients/tenants were Japanese nationals living and working in the states. The upside to having lots of Japanese? They follow the rules, meticulously. The downside? The women have a tendency to nag. And nag. And nag. And nag. Very often we'd have a Japanese female tenant who wanted something not in the contracts, and she'd call the office again, and again, and again and again, nagging my subordinates for something we weren't going to give her. In a couple of cases, she would demand to speak with a superior, meaning me, but thanks to me understanding them much better than my staff, I had a very different approach.

ME: "Why do you think you're allowed to speak with me?"

TENANT: "I want [insert name of bullshit]."

ME: "NO."

TENANTS: "But...But...But...I WANT [BULLSHIT]."

ME: "Listen to me very carefully. If you ever harass my staff again, or ever try to call me again, I will issue an eviction order and you will be fucking homeless in 45 days. Then, I'm going to call my friends at the police department and file a harassment charge against you. And then, I'm going to forward that information to my agent friends at USCIS/ICE, and watch what happens to your fucking visa. You and your entire family will be on a fucking boat back to Tokyo by the end of next month. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

TENANT: [Dead silence].

And they never called my office again. You have to understand that in the Japanese method of reasoning, if you ask for something a hundred times and get the same answer you don't like, perhaps on the 101st time you'll get the answer you do. And because this mentality is structured into their customer service standards, they think they can behave that way in other countries when they consider themselves the customer. You just need to crush all of their hopes and dreams, and rebuild them in a manner that better suits your tastes.

Or threaten them. That also works very well.
 
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I will explain to all of you how to stop any woman of any race, creed, color or age from nagging you. Study this photo carefully. Do your best to recreate this expression. Practice in front of a mirror until you have it perfected. The next time a woman nags you, just look at her and give her this expression. You will not need to say a word. She will stop nagging. Guaranteed. This expression says, “I have had a hard day. I am now at my limit, so if you continue to nag me, I am not sure what will happen. It is better for you to support me, not nag me. I am a man. I can only take so much nagging. You are a woman. You like to nag. You are now very close to the abyss. Back off.”

http://2h3mh837ken53kitqv1co5fh83o....p-content/uploads/2018/06/Humphrey_Bogart.jpg
 
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warubuta said:
I will explain to all of you how to stop any woman of any race, creed, color or age from nagging you. Study this photo carefully. Do your best to recreate this expression. Practice in front of a mirror until you have it perfected. The next time a woman nags you, just look at her and give her this expression. You will not need to say a word. She will stop nagging. Guaranteed. This expression says, “I have had a hard day. I am now at my limit, so if you continue to nag me, I am not sure what will happen. It is better for you to support me, not nag me. I am a man. I can only take so much nagging. You are a woman. You like to nag. You are now very close to the abyss. Back off.”

http://2h3mh837ken53kitqv1co5fh83o....p-content/uploads/2018/06/Humphrey_Bogart.jpg
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My ex-wife would’ve just taken that as a sign of weakness.
 
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warubuta said:
OK maybe it doesnt work on some women. But it works on most. The other one you can try is Manson Lamps. If you can get that right, then intrusive and irritating people, women and men too, can usually be cowed into silence.
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That one generally works on men and women regardless of culture. Except Korean women. Try those Manson Lamps with a kimchee queen and she'll fly into a rage, steal your car and crash it into an elementary school and then blame you for it.
 
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warubuta said:
I will explain to all of you how to stop any woman of any race, creed, color or age from nagging you. Study this photo carefully. Do your best to recreate this expression. Practice in front of a mirror until you have it perfected. The next time a woman nags you, just look at her and give her this expression. You will not need to say a word. She will stop nagging. Guaranteed. This expression says, “I have had a hard day. I am now at my limit, so if you continue to nag me, I am not sure what will happen. It is better for you to support me, not nag me. I am a man. I can only take so much nagging. You are a woman. You like to nag. You are now very close to the abyss. Back off.”

http://2h3mh837ken53kitqv1co5fh83o....p-content/uploads/2018/06/Humphrey_Bogart.jpg
Click to expand...

I practiced this expression for a few minutes in the mirror this morning...problem is since I was shaving my 5 o' clock shadow, I was looking less and less like him every passing moment. Uncle Buta, I know that practicing this expression is important, but that it requires many long man hours to perfect. In the spirit of the Japanese working man: I will do my best!
 
Keihan Chikan said:
That one generally works on men and women regardless of culture. Except Korean women. Try those Manson Lamps with a kimchee queen and she'll fly into a rage, steal your car and crash it into an elementary school and then blame you for it.
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Korean women are a legit fear of mine. I dated one before and that small dose was all I needed to know they aren't for me haha.
 
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Keihan Chikan said:
That one generally works on men and women regardless of culture. Except Korean women. Try those Manson Lamps with a kimchee queen and she'll fly into a rage, steal your car and crash it into an elementary school and then blame you for it.
Click to expand...
Try it on a Puerto Rican girl. I dare you I double dog dare you.
 
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Lasagna said:
Kurogane was a (in)famous poster on the gaijinpot forums back in the day. Your post style is kinda simular
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I couldn't quite place where I knew that name from. Now I remember. Sad to admit, I was a semi-regular in the Gaijinpot forums 15 years ago. Can't even remember what my username was.
 
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TokyoJoeblow said:
Korean women are a legit fear of mine. I dated one before and that small dose was all I needed to know they aren't for me haha.
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I think most Korean women are born with bi-polar personality disorder (among other disorders). They can go from licking your balls and professing their undying love for you in quiet whispers, to shrieking death threats at the top of their lungs while throwing wild haymakers and trying to claw out all your public hair, in exactly 2.5 seconds. At least Spanish and Filipino women need a couple of minutes of taunting before the knife comes out, so you can see it coming and have time to grab your wallet and car keys.
 
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warubuta said:
Saitama is better than Shizuoka except for the Izu peninsula which is better than Saitama.
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Completely disagree. All of Shizuoka is better than Saitama.

Aside from more job opportunities, big cities are annoying.
 
warubuta said:
If you can’t figure out how to get your Japanese mother in law to like you, then you are almost certainly an idiot and a loser and you deserve to be disliked. Maybe some mothers in law are unreasonable bitches, but most of them are decent, middle-class people who just want their daughters to be taken care of, and of course, they want grand children. So 1) make money and cover the financial bases 2) don’t be a dick 3) make some babies, or at least one anyway 4) learn to speak Japanese. If you do these minimal things then you will get along fine. If you don’t then you will not be appreciated and, yes, you are a loser and an idiot. Have a nice day.
Click to expand...

You and I both know that both of us are unable to follow rule 2 every day of our lives Uncle Buta.
 
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TokyoJoeblow said:
The longer I live here in Japan, the more I truly believe if you looked into most mens' lives here...it would be exactly this! haha
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Probably explains why everyone wants to get promoted to buchou. They have expense accounts. ;)
 
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