In my experience if I feel "last minute resistance" there is a reason for it - and I certainly don't want someone trying to coerce me to have sex when I'm not/no longer feeling it.
Yup - there is always a reason for it. But the reason is not always that she doesn't want to have sex. Since you seem to have no problem saying no or (importantly) yes, and you and other women on this board such as User#16452 seem to be very comfortable and unashamed with their sexuality and also very able and willing to say both yes and no, I have no doubt that were you and I in a room it would end up very clear - either yes or no and that is that, and nobody would feel coerced or uncomfortable. However, with many Japanese women (and I'd assume as well with other women who feel some shame/guilt around having sex - because society has told them they should) it often seems like there are two answers - "no" and "maybe". Many Japanese women (from their own testimony and from discussing such things with a ton of Japanese people... and if you watch media it's much the same there) feel that it is proper for them to be demure and modest, and that if they say "yes" easily that they will appear to be an easy woman or a slut and men won't like them. This is why I make this connection between slut shaming and LMR. I think in a very sexually liberated world, LMR wouldn't exist. But, the realities of the Japanese sexual world are not quite that liberated - far less so than it seem you are!
If there is a straight-up no (as you mention you would give, and Japanese women also are very capable of giving), that is very clear and only an idiot would try to keep making moves on a girl in this situation.
Also for me (and I'm sure many other women) - I find the mental lead up to be vital. I have nothing against one night stands or having sex on the first date - but I'm not going to do it anymore because I have much better sex if there is an erotic dance of seduction, anticipation and arousal - where the erotic tension is so high that all I can think of is how much I want that guy.
I've had dates that had no physical contact (well apart from ostensibly innocent touches) and the guy missed the chance to kiss me (even though he wanted to and I wanted him to) but the sexual tension and anticipation was so strong I was weak at the knees with desire .
When we met again after more flirting and messaging the sex was amazing.
I very much agree that the mental lead up IS vital. Much of game, at least the way I understand and try to convey it, is
improving the speed at which you reach honest communication. In general, the reason it takes longer with non-gamers to get to the point of sex is that (mostly) men aren't naturally very good at putting themselves on the line honestly and communicating the real meat of who they are and learning the same about women. Rather, they try to communicate
what they think women will like. They try to show off the best parts of themselves and avoid taking any controversial positions that might turn the girl off. Well, I'm quite the opposite. I try to be so radically honest that anyone who wouldn't like me knows this right away. This leads to many women telling me that I know them better than many of their best friends, all after only a couple-hour date or conversation.
A critical part of what we teach is the concept of
cutting deeper, which essentially just means skipping the meaningless fluff conversation and getting to the heart of who you both are and what you are doing there - what forces created you and what drives you. You do this by
eliciting values and
going there first (these concepts could be broken down much more, but this post is already wordy.. so I'll save it). Many guys will guide a conversation through a series of milquetoast topics and end the date knowing relatively very little about the dynamic person who was sat across from them the whole night! Fundamentally, this comes from fear of losing the woman and scarcity. In other words, playing "not to lose" rather than playing to win. As a man, this stems from the fear of rejection. If men can conquer that fear and put their balls on the line, communicate honestly, and yes, face that rejection head on, they may be rejected by some women, but the women who like them will LOVE them.
Men first must accept the fact that their ego defense mechanisms and fear of rejection are what is messing them up and preventing them from expressing themselves honestly and finding a mate who is truly compatible with them rather than superficially compatible with them. Once they accept this, they are open to learning how to communicate more honestly and put themselves on the line.
Anyway my point here is that the "erotic dance of seduction" and the "mental lead up" - well this is very much
what we do and excel at. If a guy is bumbling around the interaction and trying to avoid putting his balls on the line and really discovering who the girl is and showing who he TRULY is instead of who he wants her to think he is - it will take more time for the two people to actually know each other and thus, feel attracted to each other. Basically, by learning game men can learn how to speed up the process of "getting to know each other".
"Super powerful tips" and "tricks to get her into bed" are simultaneously clickbait for guys who want "magic pill" change and a MASSIVE lightning rod for everyone to (rightfully, in this case) hate on pickup. The reality is much less glamorous but much more understandable, if people took the time to realize it. In order to really understand why pickup is seen so negatively, we have to honestly look at why guys WANT "powerful tricks" to seduce women (because they don't believe they are attractive or could be attractive by themselves) and where that marketing urge comes from. Next, you have to look at what the pickup company / guru ACTUALLY says. Essentially, if they "bait and switch" using the lure of magic pill type marketing for actual deep identity-level change and hard work improving yourself and your game - that, I think is commendable. However, if (like the case of David Bond) they are
actually trying to sell a bunch of "tricks" that's slimy and worse - ineffective. This is all getting pretty complicated and "meta", but I think it's a good line of thought to have more complex views than something simple like "pickup = bad" which doesn't really recognize that pickup, at its soul, is about connecting with humans better.
