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Trying to compete in physical sports with kids less than half your age might seem like a good idea in the beginning. Especially if you can convince yourself you didn't do that bad it tends to lift your spirits tremendously. But everyone knows you always pay the price in the end. So here I am with every part of my body hurting, my old shoulder problem making a revisit and as a bonus with a busted hip that makes me walk like an old man after a gay orgy.
And of course our beloved Ai-chan is still visiting home and won't be back for some time. So Uncle Mike needs to make a pilgrimage to find the Perfect Massage for his problems. And I mean mainly the physical ones, even if a good massage also might reduce the mental ones. At first I decided it is only going to be for a real massage, but as they say; if you don't succeed in the beginning just raise your targets. So I ended up searching for good massages with happy ending. And here kids is how it went; grab the beverage of your choice and the popcorn and prepare to learn from mymistakes victories.
They say that all good things are hard to find, so I figure the opposite must be true too and decide to only search from the hardest places alone. The first day I hit the streets around Yokohama station. And find pretty much nothing that would even look promising. Finally I decide to enter a place that promises one hour normal massage for 3.500 yens. Well, if it looks good during the massage I have never found it very difficult to make them accept more money for more services, so what could go wrong, right?
I enter the premises and there are a lot of shoes in the entrance. I ask if they are full but the Chinese mama-san assures me that all is dandy so I step in. I get a peek of two of the girls in the back, not bad at all, slim, cute and young Chinese girls. I select their offer and get escorted to the room. OK, two piece pyjama, that doesn't look promising. And then I see my provider; young, thin, Chinese and... very male. Standard Chinese massage ensues, extras were not proposed or requested. Decent but nothing to repeat.
Next day I wander south to Kannai. Lots of Thai massage places all around, after being rejected from several soaplands and health shops (well, they might be giving massages too, no?) I enter a building basically full of Thai places. Get into one and pay 8.000 for a 70 minute akasuri and oil-lymph course. The girl is young, pretty cute and very Chinese. She gets me naked on to the shower table and then goes out for two separate times to answer the door. And it's cold in the shower room. I am not totally thrilled about this all but manage to keep if not happy then at least a straight face.
We finally get over the akasuri and into the room. Pretty OK massage, not great but not bad. I basically gave up all hopes of anything more but then she goes to the lymph massage. And it's good. In no time the Beautiful One is pointing at her and she giggles. And as guys know, it's always good to make a girl laugh, though I am not sure if it also applies if she laughs at the size of it. She keeps doing her magic and magic keeps happening. But nothing else is happening, and finally when I suggest it could be the time for it she just says it's not within the rules of the house. And if she can resist the Beautiful One then I am pretty sure that's how it's going to be for everyone. Again decent but nothing to repeat.
The next day sees me in Kamata and with just an hour to spend. I hit a place near the now famous Twintail and select the 60 minutes normal course for around four thousands I guess. They just have two people working there and one of them is very male again. So I go in expecting no happiness and after getting paired with the male that is exactly what I get. Still I don't think the end results would have changed anyway. As before decent massage, will not repeat.
One more night slept uncomfortable with the hip problem and I end up in Shin-Yokohama. This is the first time I have done my home work, in other words checked a-side.com and selected to go to a place called SRP. Except they are closed already as it is pass midnight. I walk one block to my second choice and hit Rose Color (http://www.rose-color.info/). The old tencho looks at me and says "you been here before, right?". I deem it is a good idea to confess though it definitely is not a true fact. I congratulate him for his apt eye and good memory and he recommends me the 90 minutes course for 12 thousand as it is an erotic massage. I decide that's exactly what is in order and I get lead to a room with a young Chinese girl who proceeds to get me naked on the shower table and then does a version of the akasuri which can only be described as The Cock Tease of a century.
After that we get back to the massage room and she continues with the same theme. There is remarkable little real massage if you don't count ball massage as a real massage. But then again who doesn't? I continue to chat her up all the time and find out she speaks understandable English too, which she is happy to use instead of her very fluent Japanese. She then confesses to me she likes foreigners and many of her former boyfriends both in China and now in Japan have been foreigners. I have abandoned all hopes of getting a good massage but pretty sure of getting a good ending to all of this when she suddenly goes back to English to inform me I could now do it myself and "no hand job!" from her. Uncle Mike is confused to say the least but it just takes him a few precious minutes to sweet talk himself out of that situation. But then again it doesn't take long for the girl to get herself out of the problem in hand either after all that teasing.
After that taken care of we still have around 30 minutes left so some more chit chat ensues and the girl tells me his latest ex-boyfriend was a German and "a very handsome man". Uncle Mike has been round the block enough times to realise the continuation of that sentence will be "unlike you" but the girl recovers fast by continuing "but you are much bigger" and giggles. Uncle Mike 1 - Germany 0. As a return present the girl gets 20 minutes of massage from me and goes to claim it's so good I should make a shop of my own, she would be a regular customer. Well, this place gets you relaxed but does nothing for the muscles so good, but will not repeat.
So the quest goes on. One more night and Uncle Mike finds himself in Machida. A quick walk-through ensues and nothing promising is to be seen. Wandering a bit farther from the station our hero finds flashing signboard and sees from his smart device that Miina is recommended by a-side. (http://es-mina.com/). Getting in I get greeted by a thin older mama-san who assures me the lymph massage is very relaxing, to the end. I select the 80 minutes course for 9.500 and got paired with Kurumi whose pictures I only check later from the website. She is as cute as in the pictures but let's just say she has at least 15 kg more curves than in the pics. Nothing to complain though, they are mostly in the correct places.
Shower alone and then a pretty decent massage where she totally accidentally for example sits over so that her cat rests on the palm of my hand. No complaints there from Uncle Mike though. We chit chat during the whole time though it is somewhat limited by her ten word vocabulary in Japanese and my zero words of Chinese. Then we get to the lymph part and oh boy, she really knows what she is doing. Things continue to happen all around the lower parts of my body but even after a pretty long time the non-muscle part gets no tender care. I propose nicely and get a firm no. The rules of the house and all that. But she continues the massage, adds oil and slides at least one full joint of her finger to where no man, and just a few women, have gone before. At this point I make an exception and ask again against my normal rules where no is a no. And I get a second firm no, house rules don't allow that but I am free to use my own hands. Uncle Mike tells the girl it has been at least a couple of years since that has happened last and that he ain't going to start now but no is still a no.
Still 15 more minutes of the same massage continues before it is time up and another lonely shower. Uncle Mike gets a kiss for being a nice boy and thanks the lady of the night trying to not to let his very blue balls ruin the moment for him. The nice couple walks to the door hand in hand, exchange another kiss and then to the dark, rainy and lonely night rides the hero, or the clown, of this long winded story.
And of course our beloved Ai-chan is still visiting home and won't be back for some time. So Uncle Mike needs to make a pilgrimage to find the Perfect Massage for his problems. And I mean mainly the physical ones, even if a good massage also might reduce the mental ones. At first I decided it is only going to be for a real massage, but as they say; if you don't succeed in the beginning just raise your targets. So I ended up searching for good massages with happy ending. And here kids is how it went; grab the beverage of your choice and the popcorn and prepare to learn from my
They say that all good things are hard to find, so I figure the opposite must be true too and decide to only search from the hardest places alone. The first day I hit the streets around Yokohama station. And find pretty much nothing that would even look promising. Finally I decide to enter a place that promises one hour normal massage for 3.500 yens. Well, if it looks good during the massage I have never found it very difficult to make them accept more money for more services, so what could go wrong, right?
I enter the premises and there are a lot of shoes in the entrance. I ask if they are full but the Chinese mama-san assures me that all is dandy so I step in. I get a peek of two of the girls in the back, not bad at all, slim, cute and young Chinese girls. I select their offer and get escorted to the room. OK, two piece pyjama, that doesn't look promising. And then I see my provider; young, thin, Chinese and... very male. Standard Chinese massage ensues, extras were not proposed or requested. Decent but nothing to repeat.
Next day I wander south to Kannai. Lots of Thai massage places all around, after being rejected from several soaplands and health shops (well, they might be giving massages too, no?) I enter a building basically full of Thai places. Get into one and pay 8.000 for a 70 minute akasuri and oil-lymph course. The girl is young, pretty cute and very Chinese. She gets me naked on to the shower table and then goes out for two separate times to answer the door. And it's cold in the shower room. I am not totally thrilled about this all but manage to keep if not happy then at least a straight face.
We finally get over the akasuri and into the room. Pretty OK massage, not great but not bad. I basically gave up all hopes of anything more but then she goes to the lymph massage. And it's good. In no time the Beautiful One is pointing at her and she giggles. And as guys know, it's always good to make a girl laugh, though I am not sure if it also applies if she laughs at the size of it. She keeps doing her magic and magic keeps happening. But nothing else is happening, and finally when I suggest it could be the time for it she just says it's not within the rules of the house. And if she can resist the Beautiful One then I am pretty sure that's how it's going to be for everyone. Again decent but nothing to repeat.
The next day sees me in Kamata and with just an hour to spend. I hit a place near the now famous Twintail and select the 60 minutes normal course for around four thousands I guess. They just have two people working there and one of them is very male again. So I go in expecting no happiness and after getting paired with the male that is exactly what I get. Still I don't think the end results would have changed anyway. As before decent massage, will not repeat.
One more night slept uncomfortable with the hip problem and I end up in Shin-Yokohama. This is the first time I have done my home work, in other words checked a-side.com and selected to go to a place called SRP. Except they are closed already as it is pass midnight. I walk one block to my second choice and hit Rose Color (http://www.rose-color.info/). The old tencho looks at me and says "you been here before, right?". I deem it is a good idea to confess though it definitely is not a true fact. I congratulate him for his apt eye and good memory and he recommends me the 90 minutes course for 12 thousand as it is an erotic massage. I decide that's exactly what is in order and I get lead to a room with a young Chinese girl who proceeds to get me naked on the shower table and then does a version of the akasuri which can only be described as The Cock Tease of a century.
After that we get back to the massage room and she continues with the same theme. There is remarkable little real massage if you don't count ball massage as a real massage. But then again who doesn't? I continue to chat her up all the time and find out she speaks understandable English too, which she is happy to use instead of her very fluent Japanese. She then confesses to me she likes foreigners and many of her former boyfriends both in China and now in Japan have been foreigners. I have abandoned all hopes of getting a good massage but pretty sure of getting a good ending to all of this when she suddenly goes back to English to inform me I could now do it myself and "no hand job!" from her. Uncle Mike is confused to say the least but it just takes him a few precious minutes to sweet talk himself out of that situation. But then again it doesn't take long for the girl to get herself out of the problem in hand either after all that teasing.
After that taken care of we still have around 30 minutes left so some more chit chat ensues and the girl tells me his latest ex-boyfriend was a German and "a very handsome man". Uncle Mike has been round the block enough times to realise the continuation of that sentence will be "unlike you" but the girl recovers fast by continuing "but you are much bigger" and giggles. Uncle Mike 1 - Germany 0. As a return present the girl gets 20 minutes of massage from me and goes to claim it's so good I should make a shop of my own, she would be a regular customer. Well, this place gets you relaxed but does nothing for the muscles so good, but will not repeat.
So the quest goes on. One more night and Uncle Mike finds himself in Machida. A quick walk-through ensues and nothing promising is to be seen. Wandering a bit farther from the station our hero finds flashing signboard and sees from his smart device that Miina is recommended by a-side. (http://es-mina.com/). Getting in I get greeted by a thin older mama-san who assures me the lymph massage is very relaxing, to the end. I select the 80 minutes course for 9.500 and got paired with Kurumi whose pictures I only check later from the website. She is as cute as in the pictures but let's just say she has at least 15 kg more curves than in the pics. Nothing to complain though, they are mostly in the correct places.
Shower alone and then a pretty decent massage where she totally accidentally for example sits over so that her cat rests on the palm of my hand. No complaints there from Uncle Mike though. We chit chat during the whole time though it is somewhat limited by her ten word vocabulary in Japanese and my zero words of Chinese. Then we get to the lymph part and oh boy, she really knows what she is doing. Things continue to happen all around the lower parts of my body but even after a pretty long time the non-muscle part gets no tender care. I propose nicely and get a firm no. The rules of the house and all that. But she continues the massage, adds oil and slides at least one full joint of her finger to where no man, and just a few women, have gone before. At this point I make an exception and ask again against my normal rules where no is a no. And I get a second firm no, house rules don't allow that but I am free to use my own hands. Uncle Mike tells the girl it has been at least a couple of years since that has happened last and that he ain't going to start now but no is still a no.
Still 15 more minutes of the same massage continues before it is time up and another lonely shower. Uncle Mike gets a kiss for being a nice boy and thanks the lady of the night trying to not to let his very blue balls ruin the moment for him. The nice couple walks to the door hand in hand, exchange another kiss and then to the dark, rainy and lonely night rides the hero, or the clown, of this long winded story.
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