- Joined
- Oct 19, 2016
- Messages
- 10
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- 21
Hello everyone, for the last weeks I dated some J-girls and I would like to hear some feedback from you guys here.
Since I live in a somewhat small city, I got all these contacts from Pairs and Tinder. Getting the Line contact and going to the date take between a week - 2 weeks (depends on my schedule). My main aim was to try and bed the girl on the first date, and only drinking a little so I don't end up depending on alcohol for the date to go smoothly. Also, I only pay for my stuff. I referenced some Nanpa blogs in Japanese on how to make up a date plan, as the dating scene looks quite different from my homecountry. So I get the logistics down and get to it:
1) First girl from Tinder. We meet at an Izakaya in Nanba (Osaka) and spend around 1:30-2 hours there. Then I take her to a gamecenter, where we play around some games and Purikura. After that I take to a Karaoke boot, where we make out. From there, we go to a love hotel and spend the night there as the last train would be departing shortly. I meet here another day in Osaka again, we do some sightseeing, get dinner and go to a love hotel again. Third time I tried to ask her out, she stops replying even though the mood seemed good for me. I get the message and move on.
2) Second girl from Pairs. I meet her at a night event that took place in my city. We spend there around 1 hour, going around and chatting. Then I take her to a nearby Izakaya, where we continue talking for around 2 hours. I tell her to come to my house to check out some of my paintings (I paint as a hobby), so we go in her car to my house and end up having sex shortly. After we finish, we cuddle a little and she goes back in her car. I send her a mail thanking her for the night blabla and suggest to go to Osaka next time or sth. She says she wants to see me again but starts making excuses that she is busy because it was her birthday this month and got lots of invitations from friends etc. I kind of get the message and leave it at that in a friendly way (Sth like "ok, text me when you are free". Actually, it would have been better sth like "Ok, I will text you in a few weeks" instead of putting the initiative to her). But whatever, looks like a closed case.
3) Third and fourth girls from Pairs. I run the same date plan for Tinder girl, but they didn't want to make at the Karaoke. I leave it at that and move on.
4) Fifth girl from Pairs. We meet at an Izakaya in my city. We spend there around 2 hours and I go back. Now planning a second meeting at my place for a movie/check the paintings and escalate from there (more on this later).
6) Sixth girl from Pairs. We meet at a coffee shop in my city for about an hour and have a fun chat. I tell her to go and check the castle that was nearby as she never went there. We go around there for a bit and I invite here to come to my house to see the paintings (never thought painting would be that useful lol). We go back, foul around a bit and end up kissing, but she didn't want to escalate from there. After I try a few more times to escalate, I leave it at that and she goes back. From here on, I think it would be difficult to recover. This date was WAY too fast (less than 3 hours, or 2:30 maybe) but I wanted to give it a try to see how it went.
Some stuff I noticed
Well, this was a bit long. I have more dates lined up so I can continue trying different stuff, but I wanted to share these experiences and get some feedback from you guys. Some advices or ideas? Similar experiences?
Cheers
Since I live in a somewhat small city, I got all these contacts from Pairs and Tinder. Getting the Line contact and going to the date take between a week - 2 weeks (depends on my schedule). My main aim was to try and bed the girl on the first date, and only drinking a little so I don't end up depending on alcohol for the date to go smoothly. Also, I only pay for my stuff. I referenced some Nanpa blogs in Japanese on how to make up a date plan, as the dating scene looks quite different from my homecountry. So I get the logistics down and get to it:
1) First girl from Tinder. We meet at an Izakaya in Nanba (Osaka) and spend around 1:30-2 hours there. Then I take her to a gamecenter, where we play around some games and Purikura. After that I take to a Karaoke boot, where we make out. From there, we go to a love hotel and spend the night there as the last train would be departing shortly. I meet here another day in Osaka again, we do some sightseeing, get dinner and go to a love hotel again. Third time I tried to ask her out, she stops replying even though the mood seemed good for me. I get the message and move on.
2) Second girl from Pairs. I meet her at a night event that took place in my city. We spend there around 1 hour, going around and chatting. Then I take her to a nearby Izakaya, where we continue talking for around 2 hours. I tell her to come to my house to check out some of my paintings (I paint as a hobby), so we go in her car to my house and end up having sex shortly. After we finish, we cuddle a little and she goes back in her car. I send her a mail thanking her for the night blabla and suggest to go to Osaka next time or sth. She says she wants to see me again but starts making excuses that she is busy because it was her birthday this month and got lots of invitations from friends etc. I kind of get the message and leave it at that in a friendly way (Sth like "ok, text me when you are free". Actually, it would have been better sth like "Ok, I will text you in a few weeks" instead of putting the initiative to her). But whatever, looks like a closed case.
3) Third and fourth girls from Pairs. I run the same date plan for Tinder girl, but they didn't want to make at the Karaoke. I leave it at that and move on.
4) Fifth girl from Pairs. We meet at an Izakaya in my city. We spend there around 2 hours and I go back. Now planning a second meeting at my place for a movie/check the paintings and escalate from there (more on this later).
6) Sixth girl from Pairs. We meet at a coffee shop in my city for about an hour and have a fun chat. I tell her to go and check the castle that was nearby as she never went there. We go around there for a bit and I invite here to come to my house to see the paintings (never thought painting would be that useful lol). We go back, foul around a bit and end up kissing, but she didn't want to escalate from there. After I try a few more times to escalate, I leave it at that and she goes back. From here on, I think it would be difficult to recover. This date was WAY too fast (less than 3 hours, or 2:30 maybe) but I wanted to give it a try to see how it went.
Some stuff I noticed
- I think that the main problem here is that the dates are too short to end up in sex because it makes the girls feel "easy" and there isn't enough trust there. Again, all these dates were under 4 hours, first time meeting. They did work two times but failed 3, so while it's possible, it doesn't look too reliable. That's way I thought that making a first date for meeting and building trust, and a second date to escalate at my house for movie/dinner/painting/whatever would not make them feel easy because it is the second time they meet me. I still need to try this out though. Another option would be to try long single dates (4+hours) with venue changes, but that means spending more money and time.
- Physical escalation is kind of difficult in Japan because public displays of affection are not socially acceptable (probably everyone noticed already), so I thought of the Karaoke booth. I end up holding hands with all of them and doing some light kino like touching but only that in public. So I escalate in Karaoke/my house.
- Pairs is more of a relantionship-oriented site so perhaps girls think is "not okay" to have sex on the first meeting (not sure about this). Tinder works but gets me low results (not many matches, many people just stop talking so you need to get the Line ASAP).
- All dates were in Japanese. I have a high Japanese level, but of course is not native, so I may stumble sometimes. Not many ways around this, just keep chatting people. Trying to slow down is a good option too. I was actually thinking of trying English-only dates with girls who could keep up and see if there are any differences in their responses. English is not my native language but I can handle it better than Japanese.
- Japanese girls tend to ghost out and flat out stop replying. Judging them for what they do (showing up, going on dates, getting intimate) is the only way to go.
- I'm actually curious to see if it's possible to recover in the sixth girl's scenerario, but failing to escalate looks quite bad. I see two options, a) play her game, take it slowly and go on a somewhat long date and try to escalate from there. But now she is setting the frame of the relantionship. Or b) just invite her directly to my house for whatever, but I don't think she will be OK with it.
- I got more contacts but my schedule doens't allow me to meet them all, so some contacts go cold after a while. I'm trying to space out getting contacts to avoid this. I first "sweep" nearly all the contacts I have and start getting new ones.
- Leading is key here. Girls won't start anything at all, so it's up to you, which is good because you can decide how the date goes. On the other hand, it can be a steep learning curve (language, different venues, different culture, etc). Your Japanese really makes it or breaks it in my opinion.
- I don't know how to get them in a sex conversation. I can get them to talk about relationships no problem, but I can't take it to the next level. Maybe in a Japanese context this is not so normal?
- As probably lots of you noticed, being white doesn't mean 100% success, even with girls who want to meet gaijins. You need to bring something more to the table than your skin colour.
Well, this was a bit long. I have more dates lined up so I can continue trying different stuff, but I wanted to share these experiences and get some feedback from you guys. Some advices or ideas? Similar experiences?
Cheers