Speed Dating

[Shizumaru]

I actually just mentioned this in the Danger Zone thread, but I think it deserves its own thread.

About a year ago I found this company, Exeo international, that has weekly speed dating parties to hook up Japanese women with foreign men. Attendance is actually completely free for men and there are a lot more women that attend than men. There website is here:
http://www.exeo-international.com/top/

Basically the way it works is you show and the women are basically seated in tables around the room. The men then rotate from table to table and everyone has about one five minute date or conversation. At the end you mark down on the name/number list which women you found interesting. The women do the same and if there is a match, you are paired and receive each other's contact info.

The catch? A lot of these women are a bit 40s and the ones that are on the younger side seemed fairly unstable and desperate. In total there weren't many women there I found particularly interesting or attractive. I also believe that it actually costs money for women, where it is completely free for foreign men. Any one had any experience with this party or any other kinds of hookup events?

 

[IronGiant]

Did they make you (or try to make you) provide some sort of documentary proof that you were single?

 

[NormalGuy]

No documentation required, apart from passport when you first get there.

I attended one in December last year in Shinjuku as I was intrigued at the quality of women in attendance. It wasn't free, but it was very cheap (think either 1 or 2,000 yen) for men, and a lot more expensive for women (5,000) but I think they get a lot of vouchers as they all seemed to be clutching a pack of paper provided by the organisers.

One of the main reasons I attended was to get myself out of my comfort zone, and speak as much casual Japanese as I could given that you have a limited time with each woman.

On the night I went, you had 2 minutes with each woman (17 in total) and then they did 3x3 minutes, which was a little daft as this was a free for all, so basically if you were slower getting to one of the 3 women you wanted to talk to, someone else already was there. Out of the 17 women in attendance, I think there was about 5 that I was attracted to physically, and 2-3 I would have dated again so not a bad ratio. It all depends if you like speed dating though, as I found the rush to be a little off-putting as I couldn't find time to take notes on the women I'd just spoken to, so after a while they all started to merge into one.

I managed to get paired, and we went on another date. She seemed quite nice, and at 26 was 20 years my junior, which didn't seem to bother her at all. A little quiet for my tastes, but I'd definitely be having more dates with her if I hadn't had a bike accident which has resulted in me having to be back in the UK getting hospital treatment for a couple of months.

I'd recommend it if, like me, your social connections are non existent apart from work colleagues. It definitely beats standing alone in a place like the Hub. I'll be trying it again when I am fit enough to return to work.

 

[IronGiant]

I'd appreciate hearing more about how / where you found the Shinjuku opportunity. Is there a web site?

 

[NormalGuy]

It's the same website as linked above, they do them at various venues around Tokyo.

The one I went to was around 5 doors away from the McD's near the south exit of Shinjuku station.

 

[trueplaya]

they also hold speed dating parties at a venue near ginza, where you can meet women who are still in their 20s. the problem, though is that they accept any woman who turns up, so there is no quality control. on the flip side, they are almost always short of men at the venue near ginza.
i did meet one decent-looking girl in her early 20s at the venue near ginza. we went out once but she was kinda boring so i quickly lost interest.

 

[Username1]

I'd imagine the ginza one to be somewhat decent no? Ugly ladies usually not around Ginza!

This speed dating setup sounds interesting though.

 

[Shizumaru]

Showing proof of being single is not necessary and would be absolutely ridiculous anyway.

The japanese website says that it costs 5000 yen for women to attend. If they are younger (25-35 years old) and can't manage to establish a relationship with someone and need to pay that much money in order to have a chance to do so, well... Moreover, the type of women who are specifically looking for a foreign husband are not the kind of people I want to meet.

Nevertheless, it was an interesting experience and probably the best opportunity for the OP.

 

[silencio]

Mh looks like I might attend on friday if my bit flakes.
I wonder what most of the woman there are up to. I am still in my twenties so I'm defenitly looking for something that doesn't take to long hehe.
But I guess if you get the words right you fuck on the first night.

How are the english speaking abilitys though?

 

[MossBoss]

I met a gal recently who said she has been to a bunch of speed dating events. She has beautiful long straight hair. And a great body and amazing tits. Really good tits!

ALL the guys would select her for a date. So most are going to be unlucky and have to make do with the rest. The remaining women are probably going to be rough and ready.

 

[MossBoss]

When I went to a Speed dating event in Roppongi. 15 gals. One really hot one. A couple of Pringle munchers from gaijin land. And the rest were 40ish Japanese looking to snag some gaijin cock before it was too late.

 

[Solong]

I've checked some out and not a big fan of them. I say give it a try, but didn't see it worth the money (the one by the OP seems inexpensive) or better than other methods like talking in a coffe shop, trains, or just going to a regular international party. Could however depend on the organizers and event.

Problems that I saw:

1. Some of the women can be fakes paid by or are friends of the organizers.

You can check and watch this by seeing how some women interact with organizers at the event. Way too familiar.

2. Some women are hyper-defensive against anything remotely sexual.

This excessive defensiveness can often lead to very BAD dates and any natural chemistry is destroyed. Not to say anything must happen the first night, but just a bad vibe that leads to time wasting. So even you take her out, you lose.

Meeting this way, you can expect a much harder than usual battle for sex, than even if you met her from a dating website. Like- "You met me at an event, so I have to go all out and prove to you (really hard) that I'm not that type a girl and almost-virgin." Be prepared.

3. Way too much "plastic" and being fake.

Lots of her pretending to be somebody she is NOT and "near-virgin Cinderella". From the guys too, trying way too hard to project a false image.

4. Some women are gaming the speed-dating scene, thinking they will hit LOTTO on Mr. Perfect or Mr. Rich.

It's like she is NOT really into any individual guy, but a fantasy.

Even if you pull her out and go on a date, she can be thinking to go try ANOTHER event tomorrow or next week with some other guys. An addicted gambler's mindset. So the slightest error in a guy's "presentation" or anything, and she's out. NEXT event, next group of dudes. No giving any guy's chances.

5. Unrealistic expectations and superficial.

Like a fat girl will score with Tom Brady, or pretending to be philosophically deep, but just wanting who looks the most popular.

This comes from women who WERE doing speed-dating, and I took the time to talk with them (on our date) and asked about their experiences and opinions.

Not down on it, but guys should be aware of what's up. As mentioned, could be better than a night at the HUB.

 

[silencio]

I've checked some out and not a big fan of them. I say give it a try, but didn't see it worth the money (the one by the OP seems inexpensive) or better than other methods like talking in a coffe shop, trains, or just going to a regular international party. Could however depend on the organizers and event.

Problems that I saw:

1. Some of the women can be fakes paid by or are friends of the organizers.

You can check and watch this by seeing how some women interact with organizers at the event. Way too familiar.

2. Some women are hyper-defensive against anything remotely sexual.

This excessive defensiveness can often lead to very BAD dates and any natural chemistry is destroyed. Not to say anything must happen the first night, but just a bad vibe that leads to time wasting. So even you take her out, you lose.

Meeting this way, you can expect a much harder than usual battle for sex, than even if you met her from a dating website. Like- "You met me at an event, so I have to go all out and prove to you (really hard) that I'm not that type a girl and almost-virgin." Be prepared.

3. Way too much "plastic" and being fake.

Lots of her pretending to be somebody she is NOT and "near-virgin Cinderella". From the guys too, trying way too hard to project a false image.

4. Some women are gaming the speed-dating scene, thinking they will hit LOTTO on Mr. Perfect or Mr. Rich.

It's like she is NOT really into any individual guy, but a fantasy.

Even if you pull her out and go on a date, she can be thinking to go try ANOTHER event tomorrow or next week with some other guys. An addicted gambler's mindset. So the slightest error in a guy's "presentation" or anything, and she's out. NEXT event, next group of dudes. No giving any guy's chances.

5. Unrealistic expectations and superficial.

Like a fat girl will score with Tom Brady, or pretending to be philosophically deep, but just wanting who looks the most popular.

This comes from women who WERE doing speed-dating, and I took the time to talk with them (on our date) and asked about their experiences and opinions.

Not down on it, but guys should be aware of what's up. As mentioned, could be better than a night at the HUB.

Nice insight. I will keep that in mind when I'm attending. If some of it will come true, O
I'm gonna pull my direct and "i Dont give a fuck attitude".
Clubs or bars seem a safer bet but i guess its worth the expirience.

 

[Shizumaru]

While I usually agree with Solong and his points apply to most dating scenarios, this event primarily caters to the satisfaction and desperation of the women. There is no real catch outside of the potential mental instability of the women attending. Again, it is completely free as well. I might attend once more in the near future.

 

[Solong]

While I usually agree with Solong and his points apply to most dating scenarios, this event primarily caters to the satisfaction and desperation of the women. There is no real catch outside of the potential mental instability of the women attending. Again, it is completely free as well. I might attend once more in the near future.

To the satisfaction of women...?

I'm with you, in terms of it possibly being better than a HUB night, which by the way, I don't recommend. HUB is NOT what it was years ago, though it keeps a very undeserved reputation.

I looked at the a website a little more and the event report. Which by itself is quite bold to give and applaud this. They show that the odds of a guy walking out with a date at almost 50%. GOOD, especially considering the cash and time investment.

My only slight objections, and not so much that, but words of caution is based on the overall situation. Will the guy start a sexual relationship? Which I admit is a bit hardcore, but I'm a swinger after all and this website caters a lot to punting.

1. The public way in which the date is arranged, can make sex VERY difficult, as the woman thinks she must STRONGLY defend her reputation.

When you are in a club or even meet a woman on the train, she can be by herself or nobody around knows her, thus she feels free or uninhibited about having sex. "If I have sex with him, nobody will know."

Even she can give a fake name or not be from that area. Like a woman from Saitama or Chiba in Tokyo.

2. The arrangement can attract women who are too desperate to get married right away.

This is where female mental instability can become strongest. Where they put the possibility of marriage insanely before anything else.

It's like her goal overshadows basic relationship fundamentals. Sex, taking care of the guy, being a good girlfriend... Instead: 1) How will my wedding look? 2) Will my parents and friends approve of him? 3) What kind of ring will he buy me? 4) What will our babies look like? 5) Will I quit my job and be only a housewife?

Instead of A, B, C... it's A jump straight to Y and Z. This was my issue with previous speed-dating and even meeting some women from date websites. The immediate pressure and constant hints/talk about marriage becomes uncomfortable. It overshadows natural chemistry and being casual.

3. Women gaming the events or women with close ties to the organizers (eye candy and bait).

Don't underestimate either.

With that being stated and caution aside, a guy new to Tokyo or looking to try a different way, could do very well.

Especially if understanding PUA/Nampa is difficult for a guy, as this is all laid out and in front. Of course conversational ability and knowing what to do once you go on the date is STILL very important.

I think this is a good option and worth trying.

 

[Shizumaru]

To the satisfaction of women...?

Yep. What I mean by that is that they mainly advertise the event to women, which is where they get all their money from. For men it is free and there is usually a shortage of men for the most part. The time I went one of the women told me that she goes almost every week, hoping to find her perfect guy...

Basically these women pay money and the foreign men are the product being sold.

 

[Solong]

Yep. What I mean by that is that they mainly advertise the event to women, which is where they get all their money from. For men it is free and there is usually a shortage of men for the most part. The time I went one of the women told me that she goes almost every week, hoping to find her perfect guy...

Basically these women pay money and the foreign men are the product being sold.

"Perfect guy". I cringe every time women spew that. "Here comes the childish Cinderella mind." And are you the "Perfect Woman?"

When I put this question to women, they break down with a thousand excuses. Basically, fine for her to be Ms. Imperfect and Ms. Made Mistakes, but the guy?

 

[Mr Cat]

Maybe they mean perfect for their taste? I find that the girls I find perfect for me are far from being perfect for my friends (and vice versa).
Some things that I would think unacceptable about a woman might be totally acceptable for someone else.
Perfection is a matter of personal point of view.

 

[Solong]

Maybe they mean perfect for their taste? I find that the girls I find perfect for me are far from being perfect for my friends (and vice versa).
Some things that I would think unacceptable about a woman might be totally acceptable for someone else.
Perfection is a matter of personal point of view.

I can create a "perfect" woman in my mind based on my tastes, but does that reflect REALITY? There is a lot to be said about being realistic and practical. That is the problem of what too many women are doing. Creating and searching for an unrealistic cartoon of a guy that doesn't exist, then getting disappointed that REAL guys don't match their fantasy image or the guy is FAKE and just pretending in order to get into her panties.

To make matters worse, a lot of women have warped their minds where she thinks of herself as a fantasy queen or princess, versus the real value of what she is bringing into a relationship. Is she the "equal" of this fantasy perfect guy that she has created? Nothing is funnier then having a welfare ghetto gagger calling herself a "queen" and has 3 kids by 3 different fathers, but wants the guy to be "perfect". Clearly many women don't take it to the maximum extreme, but some can get really bad. Short fat chick working at McDonalds wants tall handsome business executive, and any guy less than that is "beneath her". Ugly office girl with the sex skills of dead tuna, wants millionaire gay looking guy for perfect wedding.

Way too many women want guys to bring to the table, what she is NOT. If all she is bringing to the table is vagina or fake fantasy land bullshit, then all she should get is penis and dumped.

 

[silencio]

Who was there today? Ginza

 

[rocky26au]

This is a pretty interesting thread. Interested to hear if someone went today and hear more thoughts about the programme. My February is all tied up, but I think Ill give it a go in March.

 

[Solong]

Definitely would like to see more feedback by guys that have tried this out.

 

[silencio]

Oh i forgot to reply to this thread.

I just went last week. So let me Start from the beginning.

I came a bit late, so the Rotation already started. There were like 15 woman and 18 men.
Each speed date lastet only 2 Minutes but you had to fill out a card with the Main questions, like your job, where you Form, where you live, hobbies etc.

The 2 minutes flew past me like a fart but it was nice to not have to talk to long to girls in which you weren't interested in the first place.

I was the youngest human being in the room.
The girls age Ranged between 29 and 50 maybe.
In the wild nature I probably wouldn't talk to any of them just by their looks, maybe in a Club. They Ranged from a few 2s over 3 and 4s to three 5s and maybe a six.
I didn't really gave a shit what people were thinking so i was pretty easygoing.

After the 2 minute dates it was time to send messages to the girls of your likings.

I didnt send any messages out, as i wasnt really into any of them but received one by a so called 5, without any text, just her phone number. The meeting will be next week as this weekend is already planed.

Step 3 was the marking of your favourite woman. I marked 3 woman.
Oh, and while doing all that you just keep seated with the last woman you encountered.

While the Staff begins to sort the results, the freetime starts and men can sit by any girl they like and talk to her.

When the Staff was done i had 4 girls wanting to date me.

Then you make a top 5 of your favourites, followed by another free round.

In my freetime i spoke to the two uglies i missed because of beeing late. I missed nothing.

After that they announced the pairings.
Not everyone was happy with theirs though lol. There were some pretty funny matchups.

In the end i left with my date but due to my last train and that it was after a long work day i left home. But meeting her in an hour to go to my place and"drink" something.

So i left with a number and my match.
The woman are pretty open afterwards but seem to pretend at the date time to only look for english speaking people (yeah right, you look for opportunities to talk english and everything Google is coming up with is Speer dating ?) or something serious.

So it was fun and for free. The next time i play the chill dude who's just looking for serious long time sex expirience and see what happens. Dont need to say it, just write it on the card.

Mh i am in a Packed train right now, so any questions Please ask. Anything about grammar? Feel free to play Sherlock Holmes and try to decipher it.

 

[Solong]

@silencio

The part about "only looking to practice English" is a common tactic used by many Japanese women that I've met. It's something worth touching on, as many foreigners will encounter this and get stuck.

Women, in general, will often attempt to say something "socially acceptable" to make it seem they are almost-virgin good girls. Looking for sex and pleasure or adventure usually can't ever be openly admitted by many women in most societies.

The media here has done a lot of "slut shaming" with the overly used "yellow cab" (nearly synonymous with yellow slut) fairytales. To the effect that many Japanese women believe, that foreign men supposedly think all Japanese women are sexually "easy". Which is the OPPOSITE of what most foreign men who have actually LIVED in Japan that I met have said. If anything, many consider Japanese women MORE difficult. The reasons why are language, cultural differences, trying to read different body language and facial expressions, etc... These difficulties for foreign men should be obvious, but they are not to foreign and Japanese medial elements. Instead, there is that "Charisma" man myth. Thus foreign men are "Charisma man" and Japanese women are "yellow cabs". Total media crap and BS.

Many Japanese women that are curious about foreigners, may get overly defensive. Sometimes way TOO paranoid and easily hysterical. That is being way too worried about what others MIGHT be thinking or that you the foreigner guy might be thinking she is "stupid", a "slut", or a "yellow cab". These are the EXACT words Japanese women have used in conversations about such topics.

My advice is to totally play along with whatever cover story she says. "Yeah, we can study English. And teach me Japanese." This can help relax some women that are overly uptight.

But you do NOT want to stay stuck on we are just language exchange partners, especially at a speed date or social event. From there, INJECT cultural curiosity is normal and a good thing into the conversation. Try to expand into cultural exchange. In this way, you can inject the concepts of: "adventure", "exploring", "trying new things", etc... You can in many cases bring the conversation from a narrow uptight spectrum, into the full spectrum of adult topics and even talk about sexually related topics, in a way that is comfortable for her.

 

[Hamerare]

Good feedback Silencio.
If I attended that event it wud also b difficult 2 take seriously
I cant help feeling these gigs r 4 losers, n I'm talking about the women