Thoughts on sex workers

[vargas]

Misunderstanding. If the work didn’t have the stigma attached, you would never be able to charge today’s fees. For one thing, there would be much much more competition. Escorting, with a very low market entry threshold, would rapidly become a commodity. And your life would not be as comfortable as it is today. Be careful what you wish for.

Haha its an amusing point but I must disagree. I don't think most people have it in them to have sex with anyone who comes along, I certainly couldn't. Drugs & lube will only get you so far I suspect there's a far smaller population of people, particularly women, willing to do that and accept all the other risks which explains most of the scarcity.

IMO the stigma is more related to reducing something that is... almost sacred, pardon the terminology, to an economic transaction. Sex is critical to the pair-bonding necessary to raise a family despite all the hardships that involves. Since a great many P4P customers are married this means taking affection and resources away from the family where they belong.

 

[Hellotokyo69]

Misunderstanding. If the work didn’t have the stigma attached, you would never be able to charge today’s fees. For one thing, there would be much much more competition. Escorting, with a very low market entry threshold, would rapidly become a commodity. And your life would not be as comfortable as it is today. Be careful what you wish for.

I think to be a successful provider even with today’s standards is much more than just being attractive and having sex, you need to be emotionally resilient and have great interpersonal skills. Like Vargas said, not everyone is cut out for it. While I agree there probably would be a rise in competition it would make for safer working conditions and reduce the risk of violence. I think some people could still live as comfortably as they do now.

 

[Manami TMK]

It is misunderstanding, misjudge and prejudice.
I don’t mind telling anybody including my family what I do however, there are judgmental people out there.
If the truth and honesty causes a problem, hurt someone’s feeling, you don’t need to reveal everything. It is not for you but for their own sake.
There are too many various issues in the world already. Let’s not create a new one when you can avoid.

As @Simonka mentioned, client and provider can be your close friend, partner and family.
I am sure my brother and father, as ordinary healthy Japanese men, have used some type of sex service. I don’t mind if they do. I don’t need to know the truth / detail.
It is not that I don’t want to know but I don’t need to know.

 

[warubuta]

I like the Korean way of handling this. They got these places where you can get a haircut and a blowjob at the same time for about a buck two fifty. Its safe! Its clean! Its kinda legal! No stigma attached (unless someone sees you)! If I lived in Korea I would probably have more money, I would be in a better mood, and I would have a nice crew cut all the time.

 

[Acid Burn]

So I’ve read many reviews, opinions and comments regarding SW’s but I’m curious as to what you really think about it as a profession. I would love to hear how you feel and also how much you feel comfortable defending to your peers.

This site is dedicated to p4p. Safe to say most people here are fine with it. As far as defending to your peers, are you asking how comfortable one would be defending partaking in p4p or if one would defend SW as a profession. Two very different things as circumstances may be such that you cannot say you partake in such activities to your peers regardless if you are fine with said p4p activities yourself.

And about defending to my peers partaking in p4p... why would I need to defend any action I’m fine with myself to my ‘peers’ but to convince them they are wrong in not agreeing with me? You use the word defend so you are assuming an opposing stance by your peer. And by ‘peers’ I assume you mean peers that don’t partake in p4p and think it’s wrong. I don’t need acceptance of my actions by my ‘peers.’ Clarification of your usage of the term peers is needed.

Regarding this topic, my peers are my fellow mongers on this site. I don’t need to defend p4p/SW profession to them.

I’m a sex worker too and don’t get me wrong 90% of the time I really enjoy what I do and it allows me to live a very comfortable life that I probably couldn’t afford otherwise, my only hang up is the social stigma attached.

I have a ‘normal’ job and hate it 90% of the time (for various reasons) but it allows me to live comfortably in a way I wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise. I have no stigma attached to my job. Does that make my job better? Sounds like you’re in a better place than I am with respect to jobs. My job does not define me. And stigma or lack thereof wrt my crappy job is irrelevant as I barely, if even, talk about my job to the people in my life who aren’t in a related field. There’s more to me than my profession.

I’m prepared to hear negative comments and quite frankly I expect it, although due to the nature of this site that should not necessarily be the case. I have zero problem with what I do so I’m open for a frank discussion if anyone would feel comfortable to share their view.

No offense but how you phrase things makes it sound like you want to hear negative comments so you can defend it and prove them wrong. Sorry, wrong forum for that. I believe the saying is you’re preaching to the choir.

Well you're probably not going to find many people on TAG who think SWs are awful, disgusting, human beings I certainly don't

So true. Outside of some duds here and there, I’ve met some SW’s that are just really cool people and I look back on and am just glad I had a chance to meet them and enjoy their company (and not just for the FS).

 

[Maxblack]

Given that my highly respected job literally destroys peoples' lives on a regular basis, I think the criteria by which society judges us is utter shambles.
Nothing but respect, especially to the self-employed small business founders that are independent providers.

 

[Hellotokyo69]

This site is dedicated to p4p. Safe to say most people here are fine with it. As far as defending to your peers, are you asking how comfortable one would be defending partaking in p4p or if one would defend SW as a profession. Two very different things as circumstances may be such that you cannot say you partake in such activities to your peers regardless if you are fine with said p4p activities yourself.

And about defending to my peers partaking in p4p... why would I need to defend any action I’m fine with myself to my ‘peers’ but to convince them they are wrong in not agreeing with me? You use the word defend so you are assuming an opposing stance by your peer. And by ‘peers’ I assume you mean peers that don’t partake in p4p and think it’s wrong. I don’t need acceptance of my actions by my ‘peers.’ Clarification of your usage of the term peers is needed.

Regarding this topic, my peers are my fellow mongers on this site. I don’t need to defend p4p/SW profession to them.

I have a ‘normal’ job and hate it 90% of the time (for various reasons) but it allows me to live comfortably in a way I wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise. I have no stigma attached to my job. Does that make my job better? Sounds like you’re in a better place than I am with respect to jobs. My job does not define me. And stigma or lack thereof wrt my crappy job is irrelevant as I barely, if even, talk about my job to the people in my life who aren’t in a related field. There’s more to me than my profession.

No offense but how you phrase things makes it sound like you want to hear negative comments so you can defend it and prove them wrong. Sorry, wrong forum for that. I believe the saying is you’re preaching to the choir.

So true. Outside of some duds here and there, I’ve met some SW’s that are just really cool people and I look back on and am just glad I had a chance to meet them and enjoy their company (and not just for the FS).

Regarding the negative comment part, I just wanted people to feel comfortable without worrying about hurting my feelings because that wouldn’t be the case but in fact there are many other SW’s here that have less anonymity than I so it was foolish for me to think that.

I didn’t mean that everyone should be comfortable disclosing that they do P4P because why should you tell someone who you’re fucking, especially if you’re in a relationship. I meant that if someone started bashing sex workers calling them whores and sluts etc.. would you stop it or would it not bother you.

The comment regarding your job is irrelevant. I shouldn’t need to explain the various complications that disclosing that your a SW can create such as discrimination, social isolation and criminality. Your job I’m sure doesn’t have that.

 

[Yuriko]

I provide unique filming service that I received an amazing feedback from my client I met last weekend.

He showed me how happy he was, to see the play back of not even dropped his semen when he cum. He enjoys watching it his personal AV experience, that I'm so proud, I know how to plz my clients.

I don't know neither, for how long I carry on for this business, but it's true that gave me to have much richier life, compared before, it's very interesting, how life can be led. I'm grateful for every opportunity.

 

[DireWolf98]

If the work didn’t have the stigma attached, you would never be able to charge today’s fees.

Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

 

[DireWolf98]

I provide unique filming service that I received an amazing feedback from my client I met last weekend.

One of my Date Club regulars in Tokyo was a JAV actress who allowed me to take pics during our sessions. Some of my favorite pics are of her performing oral. She was good at oral with style - awesome JAV style.

A friend of mine’s gf, now his wife, asked him to videotape her performing oral. When he would go to work, she would watch it and masturbate. btw, she’s a J-Girl.

 

[Simonka]

Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

Speaking of forbidden fruits, sometimes seeing an engagement ring turns me on. Maybe I’m a degenerate, but I’m sure some of you gentlemen would be excited to have sex with somebody’s girlfriend or wife as well. (Not interested in “stealing” somebody’s husband, it’s just the idea of contributing to a “circular economy” of affairs is intriguing)

 

[Yuriko]

One of my Date Club regulars in Tokyo was a JAV actress who allowed me to take pics during our sessions. Some of my favorite pics are of her performing oral. She was good at oral with style - awesome JAV style.

A friend of mine’s gf, now his wife, asked him to videotape her performing oral. When he would go to work, she would watch it and masturbate. btw, she’s a J-Girl.

Tbh, anybody does oral. But, mine is my own way. I never compared to others. I don't get fucked, I suck their semen out!!! Kind of detoxinated holistic, relaxation experience! I like to watch my clients sleep by my massage, post cum for the first round. Then, 65% crave for second round, then hot bubble bath, if still have time ^ - ^!!! It's fun!!!

 

[Simonka]

I used to think I was an open-minded person, but during my tenure in SW I’ve realized I wasn’t as open minded as I thought I was.

In Islam, there is a Hadith that says “Whoever blames their brother for a sin, they don’t get to die before personally experiencing what they have condemned”. Very true.

 

[warubuta]

I used to think I was an open-minded person, but during my tenure in SW I’ve realized I wasn’t as open minded as I thought I was.

In Islam, there is a Hadith that says “Whoever blames their brother for a sin, they don’t get to die before personally experiencing what they have condemned”. Very true.

Interesting. The major interpreters of the great religious texts including the Bible and the Quran would be Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, and Freud. It’s safe to say, they have agreed that if the attraction of lying with ‘fallen women’ were not a ‘sin’ then, well, it would not be nearly as fun. That last part is a bit of paraphrasing. I’m drunk. Anyway....

 

[warubuta]

Speaking of forbidden fruits, sometimes seeing an engagement ring turns me on. Maybe I’m a degenerate, but I’m sure some of you gentlemen would be excited to have sex with somebody’s girlfriend or wife as well. (Not interested in “stealing” somebody’s husband, it’s just the idea of contributing to a “circular economy” of affairs is intriguing)

A truly honest comment that gets at the heart of the matter.

 

[Frenchy]

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what people think of you. If they think you’re a whore... well that’s what they think , period.
I don’t give a shit if people think I am a deviant psycho perv. They are probably right anyway.

I had a SB, whose version of sugaring was clearly more escorting than ... well , being the “good girl” satisfied with just a few stable SDs to pay for the tuition and living expenses , before getting a real job ( Which is what I naively thought at the beginning).

So once or twice I went with this SB to a bar owned by a gay friend of mine. He has a laser-sharp ability to “get” people , even if he met them just for a few minutes . I wish I was like him... even the gay part, coz I would spend less on sex.

Anyway, once I asked him “what did you think of X?”. His answer : “the one with goldfish eyes? ... She seemed confused . Like a whore who doesn’t want to admit she’s a whore”.
I guess gay friends are a bit too blunt sometimes , but truth is he totally nailed it. Funny thing is, her own gay friends had the same opinion, and apparently she found that OK, coming from them.

 

[Hellotokyo69]

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what people think of you. If they think you’re a whore... well that’s what they think , period.
I don’t give a shit if people think I am a deviant psycho perv. They are probably right anyway.

I had a SB, whose version of sugaring was clearly more escorting than ... well , being the “good girl” satisfied with just a few stable SDs to pay for the tuition and living expenses , before getting a real job ( Which is what I naively thought at the beginning).

So once or twice I went with this SB to a bar owned by a gay friend of mine. He has a laser-sharp ability to “get” people , even if he met them just for a few minutes . I wish I was like him... even the gay part, coz I would spend less on sex.

Anyway, once I asked him “what did you think of X?”. His answer : “the one with goldfish eyes? ... She seemed confused . Like a whore who doesn’t want to admit she’s a whore”.
I guess gay friends are a bit too blunt sometimes , but truth is he totally nailed it. Funny thing is, her own gay friends had the same opinion, and apparently she found that OK, coming from them.

I don’t know how this relates to my question haha.
I have no problem with what I do, I prefer not to refer to SW’s as whores and other derogatory terms though. I wanted to see if people felt it was ok to shame sex workers even if they use them. Correct me if I’m wrong but you seem to find it amusing.

 

[tad3239]

I view professional SWs who do their job well in a very positive light and the contrary to those who do the opposite . It is a job after all and my appreciation would be based on how well you are performing it .

The confusing part to me is that some of the professional SWs I talked to show some resentment about what they do . If you don’t see yourself in a positive way , It is a bit confusing for me .

If I can ask the op-ed , I would say : Do you 100% see what you are doing in a positive way ? . I liked @Yuriko ’s answer and the way she thinks about this particular point is the mentality I would like to have in an escort .

 

[Hellotokyo69]

I view professional SWs who do their job well in a very positive light and the contrary to those who do the opposite . It is a job after all and my appreciation would be based on how well you are performing it .

The confusing part to me is that some of the professional SWs I talked to show some resentment about what they do . If you don’t see yourself in a positive way , It is a bit confusing for me .

If I can ask the op-ed , I would say : Do you 100% see what you are doing in a positive way ? . I liked @Yuriko ’s answer and the way she thinks about this particular point is the mentality I would like to have in someone I’d share intimate time with .

Thanks for the comment. I really enjoy what I do, I love people in general and I’ve found it easy to connect with clients, most of whom are regulars. I’ve always been very liberal when it comes to sexual exploration and I love being able to share that with someone. I’m able to learn so much about people, their kinks and fantasies and so on which is invaluable. I’ve been able to earn a great income because I’m good at what I do and anyone that meets me says that I’m a very cheerful and happy person whether it’s at work or otherwise, I’ve come a long way since I started out, for the better. I’m not offering my services here so I don’t need to put on any airs and graces for prospective clients so maybe I’m not projecting my most dazzling self because I’m using this as an anonymous space where I can speak without concern. I wish I could speak to my family about it though instead of having to lie without worrying about the stigma. That’s the only thing I don’t like about escorting.

 

[Frenchy]

I view professional SWs who do their job well in a very positive light and the contrary to those who do the opposite . It is a job after all and my appreciation would be based on how well you are performing it .

The confusing part to me is that some of the professional SWs I talked to show some resentment about what they do . If you don’t see yourself in a positive way , It is a bit confusing for me .

If I can ask the op-ed , I would say : Do you 100% see what you are doing in a positive way ? . I liked @Yuriko ’s answer and the way she thinks about this particular point is the mentality I would like to have in an escort .

Yes, Yuriko’s answer was spot on.
And your question to the OP too. Because underneath the veneer of « please speak honestly, I don’t mind even if you’re negative etc », it’s quite obvious there is HER unease and ambiguity about it. Which is what I tried to illustrate with a similar example in my post above, unless it wasnt clear enough.

 

[Hellotokyo69]

Yes, Yuriko’s answer was spot on.
And your question to the OP too. Because underneath the veneer of « please speak honestly, I don’t mind even if you’re negative etc », it’s quite obvious there is HER unease and ambiguity about it. Which is what I tried to illustrate with a similar example in my post above, unless it wasnt clear enough.

I can understand why anyone would be uncomfortable with the stigma surrounding SW. I just wanted to see if this mindset extended to the people who are likely to avail of these services. In which case I need to work on developing a thicker skin. I’m not sure on your opinion but I’m leaning towards that it isn’t positive.

 

[Frenchy]

I can understand why anyone would be uncomfortable with the stigma surrounding SW. I just wanted to see if this mindset extended to the people who are likely to avail of these services. In which case I need to work on developing a thicker skin. I’m not sure on your opinion but I’m leaning towards that it isn’t positive.

No, I’m like @tad3239
I have a positive opinion of SWs who do a good job (cf my recent review of Simonka) and a poor opinion of those who don’t. As simple as that. And same for hairdressers or accountants.
What I can’t stand however is those who pretend to be something else because of their own pride and hang-ups.

 

[Hellotokyo69]

No, I’m like @tad3239
I have a positive opinion of SWs who do a good job (cf my recent review of Simonka) and a poor opinion of those who don’t. As simple as that. And same for hairdressers or accountants.
What I can’t stand however is those who pretend to be something else because of their own pride and hang-ups.

So you think I should openly come out as a SW and proudly stand by my decision?

 

[Frenchy]

So you think I should openly come out as a SW and proudly stand by my decision?

Yes, and get an ad here, that would help

 

[Hellotokyo69]

Yes, and get an ad here, that would help

Haha there are already plenty of excellent girls here. I’ll continue using other avenues for now, thanks tho.

It would be really great if you check out some sources around what it’s like for SW’s coming out. It’s not uncommon for ladies with children to have child protection services get involved. There are certain risks I’d rather not take but I respect your opinion.