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What is love for you?

That is right. I loved my cat. Had it since it was a cute little white furball, 15 years did she terrorise me and blackmail me with her cute meows whenever she wanted treats. Pretty sure she slept on me most nights, keeping me nice and warm even in Winter. Ah, she would have lived so much longer...

Fuck cancer, I miss you, Lucky 😭
 
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I think we have to distinguish between sex, relationship and love..

Love is unconditional in its purest form..Unfortunately it doesn’t exist ..If it exists it is promptly taken advantage of and the purest love is exploited..And the person who loves unconditionally is the loser..Is the lover ready to end up as the loser for the sake of (purest) unconditional love? I think most of the human beings don’t want to end up as losers for the sake of their unconditional love..

For sex and relationship love is not necessary..
 
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That’s funny, I was precisely thinking about this topic tonight.

For me, in terms of romantic love, there are three stages: attraction (lust), like, and love. Being attracted to someone is related to the body (beauty / cute, sparkling eyes, lovely smile…). Liking someone happens when you add something related to their mind (natural curiosity, kindness). And love is when something, outside your control, chooses to step on the “caring about that person” accelerator that grows in the “like” phase and goes…

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Anyway, I have crashed the ship so many times that, if love appears, I just welcome the feeling knowing that it won’t be fulfilled, and that it will stay with me as unconditional love the rest of my life. Which, by the way, does not imply take advantage of me, which will easily move the clock needle in the worst opposite directions - disappointment first, indifference later.

EDIT: Forgot to say that sometimes, yes, it is possible to love someone whom you know you are not truly compatible with, or that you know it is impossible to be with. The accelerator is really fickle. Also, lust can come first, or like can come first. But the accelerator, it is always at the last stage.
 
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Ivanhoe said:
I think we have to distinguish between sex, relationship and love..

Love is unconditional in its purest form..Unfortunately it doesn’t exist ..If it exists it is promptly taken advantage of and the purest love is exploited..And the person who loves unconditionally is the loser..Is the lover ready to end up as the loser for the sake of (purest) unconditional love? I think most of the human beings don’t want to end up as losers for the sake of their unconditional love..

For sex and relationship love is not necessary..
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If there needs to be someone who admits to being a loser, than I for one am one. While love is most commonly seen as an unjust authority in today's world, I still believe in a love of unconditionality and equality. Though, my words come from a hopeless romantic
 
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When you are being who you love to be and she is being who she loves to be. (no one is playing roles or hiding)
And you both notice each other.

And she loves the version of you - you love to be. (true you)
And you love the version of her - she loves to be. (true her)

And you both are brave and mature enough to not let go of being who you love to be in exchange for eachother's love.

Thats love ****. True love.


So the lesson is - be who you love being, bravely.

 
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Had a conversation with one of the TAG members whom I met IRL for the first time recently.

We didn't go into this specific question about what love is. We did talk about his relationship and he explained it quite nicely. He said he is in open relationships. Some are physical relationship and one emotional relationship.

I kept thinking about what he said. It is obvious but I didn't realize about the separation of the two until that point.

To me, this sounds like an acceptable answer to the question. Emotional relationship is love, while physical relationship is sex.

Some emotional relationship can lead to physical and vice versa.

Some relationship might be exclusively just physical or emotional.

I believe that love is abundance and every relationship is unique. I am currently having multiple physical relationship and multiple emotional relationship in various degree. Some relationship is both physical and emotional, while some aren't. I'm certain some of them will change overtime.

So where am I going with this?

Well, it is snowing outside and I am stuck at a random library, so I just wanted to share some thoughts!

Happy Friday!
 
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I always feel that "self love" is a cliché.

Until somebody told me this

"Putting an oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others"

That is how I treat "loving yourself first". Take care of yourself physically and mentally first before helping others. Easier said than done for me but I am trying.
 
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Ken4fb said:
I always feel that "self love" is a cliché.

Until somebody told me this

"Putting an oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others"

That is how I treat "loving yourself first". Take care of yourself physically and mentally first before helping others. Easier said than done for me but I am trying.
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I don't think it is a cliche...maybe if you only see it from your perspective alone. Like you said it is important to keep harm away from others as well.

If you are in a mentally problematic or negative situation it is just very likely that you will drag your partners with you, if you want it or not.
Loving yourself is maybe exaggerated, but let's say you can only be a valuable addition to somebody's life if you are kinda stable....

Of course somebody can be madly in love despite being a complete mess....lol...that's probably the scariest combination of them all 🤣
 
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da2369 said:
If there needs to be someone who admits to being a loser, than I for one am one. While love is most commonly seen as an unjust authority in today's world, I still believe in a love of unconditionality and equality. Though, my words come from a hopeless romantic
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You aren't the only one, and you aren't a loser. (Although I am officially demoting you and @Osaka Boy 97 from Double Dragon to One Point Five Dragon now for obvious reasons.)

Simply, you're young and influenced to believe in something too wholeheartedly. Give yourself a decade and a few shattered relationships and you'll see the power of unconditional love and the need for it to be beautiful.
You'll give it all your heart, just more practically.
 
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Ken4fb said:
"Putting an oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others"
Click to expand...

I do not think that means loving yourself. That is just practicality. It is just that you cannot help other people unless you are alive yourself. You might even hate yourself for putting your own mask first but you do it because you love those around you and want to help as many as possible.

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Danbo said:
Loving yourself is maybe exaggerated, but let's say you can only be a valuable addition to somebody's life if you are kinda stable....
Click to expand...

Well you said what I was trying to say but better. :)
 
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requiemmorrow said:
You aren't the only one, and you aren't a loser. (Although I am officially demoting you and @Osaka Boy 97 from Double Dragon to One Point Five Dragon now for obvious reasons.)
Click to expand...
It might be Single Dragon soon depending on how things go for me and my potential relationship
 
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I had a similar conversation with my wife (before we were married). I told her I had been polyamorous my whole life but never understood it, and that it used to give me a lot of guilt. I still love most of my ex-girlfriends even though we had split for some kind of incapatability. It was a foreign concept, but she tries to understand.

I don't believe love is as finite as popular culture makes it out to be. I have several kids, and said that each new kid doesn't take away love from the other kids. It's not something that makes sense (to me) that love can only exist for one person.

Sex is physical. You can have love and sex together, but there is really no relation. You can have love without sex, and likewise sex without love.

Marriage is a relationship. I love my wife dearly and our relationship extends into different boundaries due to responsibilities. It's not framed solely by love or sex. Granted a sexless and loveless marriage would be devastating though (cue ex-wife nightmare memories).

Anyways, my wife accepted that I had different needs and desires in polyamory, but none that would affect my feelings towards her... and she married me anyways. She's since gone on to meet several of my ex-girlsfriends and has been friends with them. I love my main SB, and she is nearly the opposite of my wife in several ways. I somewhat dream of the day that they meet and hope they both accept each other also.

My p4p? Yeah most of that is just sex, or "exercise" as my wife calls it. She never asks details and has been seemingly content knowing that none of what I do on the side diminishes my love for her.
 
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