- Joined
- Jul 8, 2018
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- 257
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- 623
I make this thread because I’ve been on SA for a few months now and a lot of Sugar Daddies are just… Upsetting.
Like they’ll contact me asking me to meet them someplace to have sex and I’ve never even spoken to them before, and when I tell them “The only way I do that is if you hand me ¥200,000 on arrival and then take me to dinner and let me think about it from there, so no, sex isn’t guaranteed even in that case.” they seem to be shocked and offended that I’m expecting them to give me money at all.
(Like no joke a guy in his first message wanted me to come to his hotel IN NARITA and offered me nothing but dinner in return for “A night of intimacy” like dude… That is like a ¥5,000 trip for me there and back and unless you look like Godfrey Gao and can make me get off with a look and a smirk I can buy my own dinner thanks.)
Here’s the thing when it comes to Sugar Dating for me, and for a few SB’s I’ve talked to, and something I feel like it’s a little harsh, a little callous, but it is also really informative for Sugar Daddies to know and keep in mind when they’re talking to potential SB’s.
It really ISN’T all about the money.
(AND NOW I NUMBERS)
Now each girl has a different order of preference, and a different bar that needs to be passed but for me to want to date someone the LOWEST BAR is 25 points, just 25 points out of a possible 50.
50% to pass is all!
Each category you can have a max of 10 points, and a minimum of -5 points. (Think stat mods in D&D, yes I am a nerd)
1) Has life together
2) Friendship
3) Attractive
4) Spark
5) Not an asshole
That’s all that I’m looking for in a normal, no money involved relationship. All you need is a minimum of +5’s in everything to pass, or at least a 0 and a few 10’s
The problem is some of these things you don’t have control over, being attractive or not is entirely up to the eye of the beholder, there being a spark or not, or the intensity of it is entirely up to feelings, and that is a category that fluctuates. The only three you really have control over is friendship which involves putting in time and having similar interests, having your life together, and not being an asshole which also involve time and self reflection and work.
Much like rolling stats in D&D you don’t know what you’re going to get in each of these and like I said you can only controllably work on and level up three and just because you’ve levelled them up to one person’s standards you have to re-roll for every person you meet and not everyone has the passing bar of “25/50” some people demand a full 50/50 and some people even have added categories, this is just the stats required for potentially entering my dungeon. (If you know what I mean *WINK*)
Then comes the Sugar Daddy.
For me being a Sugar Daddy just gives you an added category, a bonus modifier to add to any stats that might be too low to pass someone’s standard.
That modifier of course is Money.
Maybe you don’t have time to make friends with a woman you’re interested in, but you want to sleep with her, Mod that stat with money and buy enough to pass the friendship stat.
Maybe she’s a 10 in looks and you’re a generous 5 so you know you’re getting minus points in that stat, mod that with money.
My friend is a SB and she generally agrees that what she looks for in a SD is basically everything she looks for in a boyfriend, but where she would normally not date a guy who is lacking in one of her required categories, she’ll date a SD who can gloss that over with money.
The SD she currently has totally understands that which is why he has a really good relationship with 4 or 5 Sugar Babies all at the same time, he knows where he is lacking and how to make up for it, he knows that in a normal relationship when a boyfriend fucks up that might be the end of the relationship but for him he can replace that time needed to rebuild trust with money and gifts.
Anything he wants he can get with negotiation and enough money.
It’s like an old comedian I remember saying that everyone has their price to sell themselves for sex, the whole modesty thing is just negotiating your price.
Does this sound unreasonable? Am I and my friend just kind of shrewd? Or is this the mental calculation that every Sugar Baby goes through?
This is one of the reasons why I don’t have a “Price” for being a sugar baby or an amount that I demand as an allowance, it all depends on the Sugar Daddy, if he were to get 25 points in the usual categories then I would love to go out with him without needing to be spoilt and anything he gave me that I wanted I would do my best to spoil him right back with whatever he wanted. But if he were lacking in ways that would make me normally not want to date him then my expectations get higher with the more that he needs to meet in order to hit that minimum of 25.
I know that SD have these calculation tables too, I mean I see you guys arguing that you wouldn’t pay certain amounts for women that look certain ways and that’s part of the negotiation process too, I mean I know that I’m no 10, on a good day to the right person maybe I can be a generous 7, so sometimes a negotiation just isn’t going to work out when I’m hitting a 20/50 on a guy’s point scale but he’s getting 10/50, neither of us is going to walk away with what we want and that’s okay, everyone isn’t for everyone else.
I’m just saying I feel like this is where I stand so how about everyone else?
Like they’ll contact me asking me to meet them someplace to have sex and I’ve never even spoken to them before, and when I tell them “The only way I do that is if you hand me ¥200,000 on arrival and then take me to dinner and let me think about it from there, so no, sex isn’t guaranteed even in that case.” they seem to be shocked and offended that I’m expecting them to give me money at all.
(Like no joke a guy in his first message wanted me to come to his hotel IN NARITA and offered me nothing but dinner in return for “A night of intimacy” like dude… That is like a ¥5,000 trip for me there and back and unless you look like Godfrey Gao and can make me get off with a look and a smirk I can buy my own dinner thanks.)
Here’s the thing when it comes to Sugar Dating for me, and for a few SB’s I’ve talked to, and something I feel like it’s a little harsh, a little callous, but it is also really informative for Sugar Daddies to know and keep in mind when they’re talking to potential SB’s.
It really ISN’T all about the money.
(AND NOW I NUMBERS)
Now each girl has a different order of preference, and a different bar that needs to be passed but for me to want to date someone the LOWEST BAR is 25 points, just 25 points out of a possible 50.
50% to pass is all!
Each category you can have a max of 10 points, and a minimum of -5 points. (Think stat mods in D&D, yes I am a nerd)
1) Has life together
2) Friendship
3) Attractive
4) Spark
5) Not an asshole
That’s all that I’m looking for in a normal, no money involved relationship. All you need is a minimum of +5’s in everything to pass, or at least a 0 and a few 10’s
The problem is some of these things you don’t have control over, being attractive or not is entirely up to the eye of the beholder, there being a spark or not, or the intensity of it is entirely up to feelings, and that is a category that fluctuates. The only three you really have control over is friendship which involves putting in time and having similar interests, having your life together, and not being an asshole which also involve time and self reflection and work.
Much like rolling stats in D&D you don’t know what you’re going to get in each of these and like I said you can only controllably work on and level up three and just because you’ve levelled them up to one person’s standards you have to re-roll for every person you meet and not everyone has the passing bar of “25/50” some people demand a full 50/50 and some people even have added categories, this is just the stats required for potentially entering my dungeon. (If you know what I mean *WINK*)
Then comes the Sugar Daddy.
For me being a Sugar Daddy just gives you an added category, a bonus modifier to add to any stats that might be too low to pass someone’s standard.
That modifier of course is Money.
Maybe you don’t have time to make friends with a woman you’re interested in, but you want to sleep with her, Mod that stat with money and buy enough to pass the friendship stat.
Maybe she’s a 10 in looks and you’re a generous 5 so you know you’re getting minus points in that stat, mod that with money.
My friend is a SB and she generally agrees that what she looks for in a SD is basically everything she looks for in a boyfriend, but where she would normally not date a guy who is lacking in one of her required categories, she’ll date a SD who can gloss that over with money.
The SD she currently has totally understands that which is why he has a really good relationship with 4 or 5 Sugar Babies all at the same time, he knows where he is lacking and how to make up for it, he knows that in a normal relationship when a boyfriend fucks up that might be the end of the relationship but for him he can replace that time needed to rebuild trust with money and gifts.
Anything he wants he can get with negotiation and enough money.
It’s like an old comedian I remember saying that everyone has their price to sell themselves for sex, the whole modesty thing is just negotiating your price.
Does this sound unreasonable? Am I and my friend just kind of shrewd? Or is this the mental calculation that every Sugar Baby goes through?
This is one of the reasons why I don’t have a “Price” for being a sugar baby or an amount that I demand as an allowance, it all depends on the Sugar Daddy, if he were to get 25 points in the usual categories then I would love to go out with him without needing to be spoilt and anything he gave me that I wanted I would do my best to spoil him right back with whatever he wanted. But if he were lacking in ways that would make me normally not want to date him then my expectations get higher with the more that he needs to meet in order to hit that minimum of 25.
I know that SD have these calculation tables too, I mean I see you guys arguing that you wouldn’t pay certain amounts for women that look certain ways and that’s part of the negotiation process too, I mean I know that I’m no 10, on a good day to the right person maybe I can be a generous 7, so sometimes a negotiation just isn’t going to work out when I’m hitting a 20/50 on a guy’s point scale but he’s getting 10/50, neither of us is going to walk away with what we want and that’s okay, everyone isn’t for everyone else.
I’m just saying I feel like this is where I stand so how about everyone else?
