Can Anybody Explain These Behaviours? Mentally Challenged Or Just Plain Jerks?

[Expired Beef!]

Right on! Never mix business with pleasure unless it is your business. She wants to be treated like a woman, not an ATM.

 

[TAG Manager]

@Ches - I'm just getting caught up after reading your first post in this thread in its entirety...... all i can say is WTF?!

 

[Ches]

@Ches - I'm just getting caught up after reading your first post in this thread in its entirety...... all i can say is WTF?!

I know right? And to be able to be the one to experience it is soooo weakening, what the fuck! Seriously, I console myself thinking they are probably depressed or have mental disorder, our communication was great before, I actually spent 2 freeking hours on the phone talking to the worst jerk the night before I met him, he seemed very good but then when I meet them, all colors are shown, and men pretending to have something to get a girl actually has nothing at all, oh and the last WTF post, that happened just yesterday, lol, and I met him through TAG

 

[Vulkan]

In sugar dating there is mutual chemistry and attraction, respect and care, there is open communication and you actually talk to each other about yourself about who you are and what you do. There is trust and you know he won't do things that aren't part of your deal. Prostitution is more like fuck and go, no respect and you probably don't even know each other's name.

Looks like you should look for a caring boyfriend instead. In my opinion, sn is no more than embellished prostitution.

How short was the ugly short arrogant dude?!

 

[Ches]

Looks like you should look for a caring boyfriend instead. In my opinion, sn is no more than embellished prostitution.

How short was the ugly short arrogant dude?!

I definitely don't want a young handsome broke boyfriend anymore, been there done that, I don't know about his exact height it's been a while since out first and last dinner lol. Why were you curious? Haha

 

[Vulkan]

Just look for a boyfriend with a decent job that can pay for dinner instead of a sugar daddy!

I was curious about how short is too short for you.

 

[DJV]

I can understand such thinking, to an extent. Don't worry, I'm not your judge or jury. Do what is best for you.

I'm just pointing out what is summed up by the popular expression, "Don't mix business with pleasure." Can create a lot of confusion.

I tend to disagree with this popular expression, since temporary confusion and let go can create the most intense moments of your life.

 

[Ches]

Just look for a boyfriend with a decent job that can pay for dinner instead of a sugar daddy!

I was curious about how short is too short for you.

The issue is not really about his height, I honestly don't care if he the guy is midget or what, I just hated that he has this need of putting his hands aroung my shoulders that I needed to stoop down to his level while walking, it is do obvious that I am taller, he just needed to feel dominant

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[Wwanderer]

Yes, sugar dating usually means more interaction and communication with the paying customer. But this is usually pretense and a facade, rather than real love or a real attraction. It's still sex provider and paying customer, at the core of the relationship. The man can't be sure if you like him or like his money.

With 9 years of experience in sugar dating which has involved dating many and meeting many more SBs plus decades of experience in the conventional p4p world, I can confidently say that you are flat out wrong on this.

You are doing the equivalent of what you complain PUA critics do, namely assuming that what you know from the media and/or a small amount of personal experience applies universally to all PUA. I get that such isn't true of PUA, and the generalizations you make above are even less true of sugar dating.

The truth is that the majority of sugar arrangements involve strong motivations other than sex and money and that these other motivations are the ones "at the core of the relationship", as you put it. One of many bits of evidence for this fact is that most sugar arrangements end, or never begin, for reasons other than unsatisfactory sexual or financial arrangements. The problem is most often that the couple don't enjoy each other's company outside the bedroom enough.

All that said, there certainly is ordinary prostitution by a different name going on in the sugar bowl, quite a bit of it, but it is neither the rule nor even the most common situation.

-Ww

 

[meiji]

Take the sugar baby definition discussion elsewhere. If you don't think this thread belongs here, report it to the Mods. Thanks.

 

[Wwanderer]

Here are my tips for using Seeking Arrangement:

- Make it clear on your profile what you are looking for...

This is excellent advice. A lot of SB profiles are so short and/or vague that it is impossible for an SD to tell in advance whether or not he would be acceptable to the SB. It then ends up taking a lot of both people's time to figure it out via correspondence and/or meeting.

Similarly, an SB should make it reasonably clear what she wants to give/offer in a sugar arrangement. I have found that an SB whose profile is exclusively or almost exclusively focused on what she wants out of an arrangement with little or nothing said about what she wants to give/provide is a bad bet for an SD' s time and money.

many don't read profiles, despite what you write

This is not only true but is also a good indicator of an SD being an inconsiderate jerk in one way or another. If he appears not to have read your profile or to be ignoring what it said, you're probably better off giving him a pass. The same is true for any messages you send him in your pre-meeting correspondence.

- Give a per date amount that is similar to what you would expect as escort to ask for. Do not meet them for free. If you are essentially doing the same thing as an escort, you deserve to be given the same amount.
...
Remember, this is a sugar dating website, not a regular dating website. You should not be out of pocket for anything.

Here I would differ from @User#16452 a bit. You should only do as she describes if your focus and motivation is primarily or exclusively financial. I have met plenty of SBs who are not especially or immediately concerned about earning an income from their arrangement(s). I have even met some who do not want and will not take any direct "allowance"/"support" (in sugar jargon) at all and only want experiences; some of them I have come to know very well indeed. I've also known SBs who become more motivated by the financial part of arrangements as they get experience in the sugar bowl and others who become less so. In other words, I think that how an SB should handle the financial part of the sugar ought to depend on her personal goals and situation; there is no single right way to do it.

-Ww

 

[Ches]

Here are my tips for using Seeking Arrangement:

- Make it clear on your profile what you are looking for e.g. short or long term relationship.
- Ask how long they will be in Tokyo for to determine short or longterm (many don't read profiles, despite what you write). Lots of people come to Tokyo for just a few nights and try to use Seeking Arrangement to find non-professional escorts or to pay less for an escort service.
- If a guy seems like a jerk in messages, chances are he is a bigger jerk in person. It is not worth your time.

For long term (several months):
- When someone messages you, give them an allowance per date or per month that you are looking for. Doing this in person can be a big waste of time as you might have wildly different expectations, especially as it sounds like you have to travel far to meet someone.
- Arrange to meet for coffee only for the first meeting and ask for your travel cost for this to be covered, but no allowance. Make it clear that you will not being going into private together this time.

For short term (one or two meetings):
- Give a per date amount that is similar to what you would expect as escort to ask for. Do not meet them for free. If you are essentially doing the same thing as an escort, you deserve to be given the same amount.
- Make it clear that you need to leave at X time, maybe 11.30pm to catch the last train.

Remember, this is a sugar dating website, not a regular dating website. You should not be out of pocket for anything.

Also, I have found the average date amount to be 50,000 yen and transport for coffee only dates is 10,000 yen. For a one time date (short term arrangement) I would suggest a minimum of 70,000. Of course, this might depend on your photos and profile.

Thank you so much for these, it gave me clear insights, I was very apprehensive about the entire process as I am a beginner and that's probably the reason of my WTF dates haha, thank you so much for these, will definitely consider these ^_^

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[MossBoss]

Interesting postings from Ches although totally annoying experiences for her I'm sure.

Anyway I wouldn't bother with any guys who expect you to commute a couple of hours. There must be guys nearer to where you live.

If you live in the back of beyond, select a place which works for you not which is not nessarily the best for him.

 

[TAG Manager]

I met him through TAG

I am so, very sorry.

 

[Solong]

I met him through TAG

Wow, I thought guys up here had money or are big spenders. Surprised to hear the attempt to cheat you. Feel sorry for you being in that situation.

Men pretending to have something to get a girl actually has nothing at all.

This is what I partially mean about business and pleasure. If it's business, and you are just selling your body, the mindset has to unfortunately change. "Show me the money!".

 

[Expired Beef!]

Here are my tips for using Seeking Arrangement:

- Make it clear on your profile what you are looking for e.g. short or long term relationship.
- Ask how long they will be in Tokyo for to determine short or longterm (many don't read profiles, despite what you write). Lots of people come to Tokyo for just a few nights and try to use Seeking Arrangement to find non-professional escorts or to pay less for an escort service.
- If a guy seems like a jerk in messages, chances are he is a bigger jerk in person. It is not worth your time.

For long term (several months):
- When someone messages you, give them an allowance per date or per month that you are looking for. Doing this in person can be a big waste of time as you might have wildly different expectations, especially as it sounds like you have to travel far to meet someone.
- Arrange to meet for coffee only for the first meeting and ask for your travel cost for this to be covered, but no allowance. Make it clear that you will not being going into private together this time.

For short term (one or two meetings):
- Give a per date amount that is similar to what you would expect as escort to ask for. Do not meet them for free. If you are essentially doing the same thing as an escort, you deserve to be given the same amount.
- Make it clear that you need to leave at X time, maybe 11.30pm to catch the last train.

Remember, this is a sugar dating website, not a regular dating website. You should not be out of pocket for anything.

Also, I have found the average date amount to be 50,000 yen and transport for coffee only dates is 10,000 yen. For a one time date (short term arrangement) I would suggest a minimum of 70,000. Of course, this might depend on your photos and profile.

That is spot on!

 

[Ches]

And then the worst jerk wrote just now

"Are you still mad at me? Can you forgive me?"

What would be your answer?

Note: this 3rd guy the worst of the worst, who, I met on TAG, and I'm hoping he could read these

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[Ches]

Wow, so a lot of jerks really exist in the sugar bowl. I should have anticipated these things. I'll be more careful next time and I will follow your advice ^_^

 

[User#16452]

.

 

[Ches]

The last guy, I actually met him here on TAG, the one I met from SA was the second guy. ^_^

 

[User#16452]

.