Apps (Bumble, Pairs, Tinder) vs the Bar game and Day game

[Secretmugen]

Wanted to thank folks for the last few posts, especially @jmi13 and his dating apps update. I plan on trying to date after I settle in, since my current city is completely dead for dating, and also because my old man's friends keep joking with me that if I really want to improve my Japanese fast, I need to try dating here lol.

 

[User#67668]

I thought I could contribute a bit here.

I used Tinder pre-pandemic and got lucky with a nice relationship out of it. After break-up (during pandemic) I used it again and as many already said it turned out to be a bot filled app, it is a waste of time.

During covid times, Bumble gave me two one-night-stands and a couple of FWB situations that lasted a few months. As mentioned girls here are more internationally-minded.
I tried it again a few months ago but I was not getting anything out of it. Anyways I would say it is the best option at this moment for the average gaijin.

Other apps (pairs, omiai, coffee meets bagel) did not gave me any results.

Worth mentioning Hello Talk too, it's a defacto dating app. Used it years ago and got lucky, not sure how it is today.

IRL situation (day/bar game) I totally agree with didi521 message. It sounds simple to say and I am the most introvert person, but if you feel good with yourself and have a normal approach to a girl it might give you better results than approaching her with the annoying nampa-style (not saying Nampa doesn't work). Just try and if it doesn't work a quick 失礼しました and move on

In bar situation I think it's relatively easy to get Line if you are in certain roppongi places but from there to meeting her again it's a long way. And also it's a waste of time just going out in roppongi to get girls IMO

Also if you can speak Japanese you can try 合コン but be indirect and polite and do your move after it is finished if the feeling was good during the izakaya time.

 

[MikeH]

also because my old man's friends keep joking with me that if I really want to improve my Japanese fast, I need to try dating here lol.

If the improvement is because you will have more motivation for studying then good on you. If it's because you will learn Japanese from the girls then good luck on your new career as a hair stylist.

 

[Killie154]

I thought I could contribute a bit here.

I used Tinder pre-pandemic and got lucky with a nice relationship out of it. After break-up (during pandemic) I used it again and as many already said it turned out to be a bot filled app, it is a waste of time.

During covid times, Bumble gave me two one-night-stands and a couple of FWB situations that lasted a few months. As mentioned girls here are more internationally-minded.
I tried it again a few months ago but I was not getting anything out of it. Anyways I would say it is the best option at this moment for the average gaijin.

Other apps (pairs, omiai, coffee meets bagel) did not gave me any results.

Worth mentioning Hello Talk too, it's a defacto dating app. Used it years ago and got lucky, not sure how it is today.

IRL situation (day/bar game) I totally agree with didi521 message. It sounds simple to say and I am the most introvert person, but if you feel good with yourself and have a normal approach to a girl it might give you better results than approaching her with the annoying nampa-style (not saying Nampa doesn't work). Just try and if it doesn't work a quick 失礼しました and move on

In bar situation I think it's relatively easy to get Line if you are in certain roppongi places but from there to meeting her again it's a long way. And also it's a waste of time just going out in roppongi to get girls IMO

Also if you can speak Japanese you can try 合コン but be indirect and polite and do your move after it is finished if the feeling was good during the izakaya time.

Honestly the same for Bumble. For some reason, it is not working as well as before.

Also if you can speak Japanese you can try 合コン but be indirect and polite and do your move after it is finished if the feeling was good during the izakaya time.

Where do people find these?

 

[User#67668]

Honestly the same for Bumble. For some reason, it is not working as well as before.


Where do people find these?

Since borders opened, quality girls disappeared in bumble, that's my feeling about it

Usually a friend who is organizing one has to invite you. I've heard there are also groups that organize it and you don't need to be invited, just sign up. It's very informal but since everybody (indirectly) knows each other that's why I insisted on being polite with your 'intentions'
Oh forgot to mention that guys have to pay for most (75%) of the dinner/drinking bill, so it might not be an every week option.

 

[biggiesmallpop]

Usually a friend who is organizing one has to invite you. I've heard there are also groups that organize it and you don't need to be invited, just sign up. It's very informal but since everybody (indirectly) knows each other that's why I insisted on being polite with your 'intentions'
Oh forgot to mention that guys have to pay for most (75%) of the dinner/drinking bill, so it might not be an every week option.

Gokon - didn't know the kanji earlier. I love them but actually I don't know if I ever met anyone good.

You are best helping QB these - find a crew of guys that are all different and/or less attractive than you. Then find a woman who is hot and convince her you aren't interested in her but want to have a gokon w her buddies and your elite male friends. The women usually invite friends less pretty than themselves as well.

Note the hot ladies are smart and only go to ones hosted by ballers.... at least as they get into 30s... Still fun

 

[thegreek]

I've been in the hunt for a few months now, wanted to compare notes w/ any others in the game.
(I read the plate spinning post in detail, so great info there -- dont need to recap the same stuff but enjoyed that thread as well).

My multi-pronged analysis...

Thanks for sharing and creating the thread. The observations sound on-point and line up with my own. Good stuff.

Regarding the discussion surrounding locations and apps:

• the kind of girl you can meet will indeed vary with location and one should not rely on HUBs and the like (almost at all)
• staff anywhere is a mixed bag as they are going to be friendly no matter what
  • personally I only target if I feel an especially strong attraction
• the right apps will still yield flings or short-to-long-term relationships with attractive women if you know what you are doing (and preferably speak Japanese) and so should not be discounted entirely

I've noticed Tapple has upped their security to the point it is no longer useable on my Android phone or any device I own. Perhaps if work provides me with an iPhone at some point I shall check again, but it was never great enough to warrant buying one just to get back in.

Pairs > Omiai for most people I would say. Perhaps the gaijin factor goes down worse on Omiai. Omiai not useless, but seems like less bang for buck.

I copped a lifetime ban from Tinder after saying hello to several matches I had left hanging for a few days (no BS, said nothing edgy at all) so cannot verify current status but am unsurprised to hear it's a waste of time. Sad as it also yielded some seriously good long-term relationships with several 7+ women back in the day.

There is one app that stands head and shoulders above the rest but I leave that to be discovered individually.

 

[Alice]

If the improvement is because you will have more motivation for studying then good on you. If it's because you will learn Japanese from the girls then good luck on your new career as a hair stylist.

Hair stylists are some the biggest players in Japan, part of the infamous “3 wrong B’s”

So that would mean the pick up king mission is accomplished.

 

[MikeH]

Hair stylists are some the biggest players in Japan, part of the infamous “3 wrong B’s”

I have been told bar tenders and band members but haven't heard abour hair stylists.

All of them that I know have been very gay. Wait, or is that what my girls have been telling me? "Don't you worry about him darling, he is gay!"

 

[Alice]

I have been told bar tenders and band members but haven't heard abour hair stylists.

All of them that I know have been very gay. Wait, or is that what my girls have been telling me? "Don't you worry about him darling, he is gay!"

Yes, the 3 B’s:
Bandman
Bar man
Biyoshi (hair stylist)

 

[Killie154]

I copped a lifetime ban from Tinder after saying hello to several matches I had left hanging for a few days (no BS, said nothing edgy at all) so cannot verify current status but am unsurprised to hear it's a waste of time. Sad as it also yielded some seriously good long-term relationships with several 7+ women back in the day.

Honestly, I was also confused by this. I started Tinder, was using it for a few days, they couldn't verify me so I couldn't message anyone.
I finally got certified and then when I messaged a few people with a boilerplate opening line, I was banned immediately.
Support was of no help and just gave me the rulebook like I didn't read it.

There is one app that stands head and shoulders above the rest but I leave that to be discovered individually.

I really hope you don't mean something like "going outside was the best app of all".

 

[hrbb]

Yes, the 3 B’s:
Bandman
Bar man
Biyoshi (hair stylist)

There are a few variations of this. Some jokingly.

6B adds to the above:
舞台役者 (stage actor)
Blogger
貧乏 (poor person)

 

[thegreek]

Honestly, I was also confused by this. I started Tinder, was using it for a few days, they couldn't verify me so I couldn't message anyone.
I finally got certified and then when I messaged a few people with a boilerplate opening line, I was banned immediately.
Support was of no help and just gave me the rulebook like I didn't read it.

Interesting! Fortunately it is a garbage app that shows no signs of improving so no loss at least.

I really hope you don't mean something like "going outside was the best app of all".

Lmao no.

 

[Sudsy]

Hair stylists are some the biggest players in Japan

We had a former hairstylist working as a sales rep in one our our offices.

He held the company record for number of fuzoku sites visited using company computers.

Like pushing quadruple digits.

 

[SquidCity]

There are a few variations of this. Some jokingly.

6B adds to the above:
舞台役者 (stage actor)
Blogger
貧乏 (poor person)

Another variant I learned recently:

Bassists
Bassists
Bassists

 

[MikeH]

Another variant I learned recently:

Bassists
Bassists
Bassists

Like any bassist ever got any.

 

[Sudsy]

Like any bassist ever got any.

Gene Simmons would like a word.

And Nikki Six is no slouch....

He managed to bag Denise Richards, Lita Ford, and Vanity in their prime, and crazily enough Dinah Cancer from 45 Grave.

 

[zawarudo777]

Day game is a mystery to me. Not the act of going around talking to random women, no, I mean how the fuck does anyone have that much time during the day to just meander around and chat people up? Does nobody have a job? Obligations of any kind?

When I was still living in Japan, this one chick I was talking with randomly messaged me to come over and fuck her... at 8 in the morning on a Tuesday. So maybe there's some secret to having all the free time in the world that I'm not aware of?

 

[TAG Manager]

Day game is a mystery to me. Not the act of going around talking to random women, no, I mean how the fuck does anyone have that much time during the day to just meander around and chat people up? Does nobody have a job? Obligations of any kind?

When I was still living in Japan, this one chick I was talking with randomly messaged me to come over and fuck her... at 8 in the morning on a Tuesday. So maybe there's some secret to having all the free time in the world that I'm not aware of?

I wonder the same thing sometimes... We've tried going to love hotels in the middle to late afternoon on weekdays and more often than not, we have to wait for a room or try another hotel. There must be a larger group of people post-covid that have a lot of free time to be out playing around. We rarely had a problem finding a room when doing a clandestine hotel rendezvous during a normal workday.

 

[Alice]

Day game is a mystery to me. Not the act of going around talking to random women, no, I mean how the fuck does anyone have that much time during the day to just meander around and chat people up? Does nobody have a job? Obligations of any kind?

When I was still living in Japan, this one chick I was talking with randomly messaged me to come over and fuck her... at 8 in the morning on a Tuesday. So maybe there's some secret to having all the free time in the world that I'm not aware of?

Surely people have days off from work.

 

[leducul]

Day game is a mystery to me. Not the act of going around talking to random women, no, I mean how the fuck does anyone have that much time during the day to just meander around and chat people up? Does nobody have a job? Obligations of any kind?

To me that the married couple cheating time, assuming classically gender roles:
Husband is at work (or also cheating), and the guy created a fake meeting on his working time (no need for an excuse at home).

 

[asaccard]

To me that the married couple cheating time, assuming classically gender roles:
Husband is at work (or also cheating), and the guy created a fake meeting on his working time (no need for an excuse at home).

Also the only time kids are at school

 

[fireman]

Nowadays there are actually quite a few remote workers with undemanding jobs who can fuck around during the day as long as they periodically appear to be doing something useful...

 

[Ken4fb]

Nowadays there are actually quite a few remote workers with undemanding jobs who can fuck around during the day as long as they periodically appear to be doing something useful...

Talking about me?

 

[Sudsy]

Talking about me?

Pretty sure he’s talking about me.