MikeH
Presumably Male
- Joined
- May 8, 2016
- Messages
- 19,230
- Reaction score
- 48,760
I know he is not talking about me as he said "appear to be doing something useful".
Apps (Bumble, Pairs, Tinder) vs the Bar game and Day game
- Thread starter biggiesmallpop
- Start date
I know he is not talking about me as he said "appear to be doing something useful".
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2011
- Messages
- 13,365
- Reaction score
- 36,524
Jacking off is product… oh wait. I see.
I can only speak for myself, but when I have a day off, most of the time I'm trying to preserve energy, not spend it. I don't think for a moment this holds true for everyone, though I still have to wonder how so many people can have enough free time/days off that something like day game becomes so ubiquitous. Remote jobs can perhaps contribute to that these days, but the PUAsphere have been talking about this for well over a decade now.
Students, freelance creatives, predator photographers, English teachers on day off....
I'm more curious on, WHY. Whyyyy, spend hours cold-approaching 40 girls, just to get ~5 Lines, to get 1 who replies, with slim chance for a date that's unlikely to end on a lay... why do they think that's good math.
I'm more curious on, WHY. Whyyyy, spend hours cold-approaching 40 girls, just to get ~5 Lines, to get 1 who replies, with slim chance for a date that's unlikely to end on a lay... why do they think that's good math.
If you're genuinely asking:
It's mostly because it's the least filtered population of women. Only certain girls will be on a dating app or in a club or whatever, but basically everyone can be found on the street. Also it's much easier to hold girls attention where you're right in front of them instead of just a photo they're texting on an app etc.
Also, SNLs are a thing. And guys who are skilled at nanpa (I am not) can actually reliably get laid every night they go out.
It's one of those things that you would be amazed how much it actually works for some people.
Oh thanks for actually replying, but sorry mate, that's not really new or unknown info, and I was mostly dissing :d
I'm not surprised by their free time, but I'll be surprised if I ever get a good explanation for... their poor math, for using the world's most robotic cold approaches (really, a recruiter mail is more creative), for the wanna-stand-out-so-bad fashion (obligatory white pants, long Zara coat...), and for over the years turning most of Shibuya night venues into sausage fests. Or did they expect most girls would keep enjoying going to places they'd hear "oneesan" for the billionth time.
I'm not surprised by their free time, but I'll be surprised if I ever get a good explanation for... their poor math, for using the world's most robotic cold approaches (really, a recruiter mail is more creative), for the wanna-stand-out-so-bad fashion (obligatory white pants, long Zara coat...), and for over the years turning most of Shibuya night venues into sausage fests. Or did they expect most girls would keep enjoying going to places they'd hear "oneesan" for the billionth time.
Alice
Effortlessly sexy
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2022
- Messages
- 1,538
- Reaction score
- 5,363
Yeah there are plenty of things like that.
People who can’t do it themselves can’t understand how well it works out for some people.
Alice
Effortlessly sexy
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2022
- Messages
- 1,538
- Reaction score
- 5,363
To be fair, most people will decide to give someone a go or not based on if that’s their type, not on the incredible original opening line.
And not sure what fashion you are talking about and if it’s good or terrible but flashy fashion can also play a big part in getting girls.
To keep this fun thread going... We recently talked in my office about nampa, and a coworker gave an interesting reply on why puas here give basic openings: it's from the J culture of not wanting to be too noticeable in public. They give a quiet basic approach out of respect to not put too much spotlight on the girl. Now that's a valid point for the "pssst oneesan I saw you over there and...", so I'll shut up 
Hot girls on apps get 100% of attention and overwhelmed by 100 likes a day. Odds of getting a date w a girl on apps is very low -- too much competition.
On the street girls get hit on less - a hot girl maybe a few times a day MAX - it may take 40 tries but you can score a hot one.
That's my experience and honestly if you pick carefully it's prob more like 8-10 pickup attempts to score one keeper.
Impressive, but let me still challenge the math even for you and those who get a hottie in -10 approaches; What would you define a keeper?
App game course looses by far from day game... so how about daygame vs basic social interaction. One is standing an hour (less or more depends I guess) on a street with the sole goal to cold approach a girl. The other is attending some place/event (exhibit, bar crawl...) just because you enjoy it and not because you plan to nampa, and there you can find a girl you like and can rapport easily since you are likely to have same hobbies.
Keeper is attractive and nice?
Agree if you can find parties and events that is also great (and I don't mean disco clubs). I'd say events are a great way to meet a nice girl as well. Right now my social network is dead so finding events has been hard!
But does that keeper replies your line or is game for a date or lay?
Ah that's understandable the struggle to find good networks. There are events out there, but also a majority of people who seem to think the night life here is at the most googled bars and clubs in Roppongi and Shibuya and nowhere else... So the good ones are rare to hear. Cheers
I've always preferred the Bar game and Day game/basic social interaction. That is how I got any results both in the states and in my time in Japan. For context I was an aimless schlub who barely put himself together and no serious social life/dating prospects in most of my 20s to a slightly more put together schlub with an actual decent life plan and a bit better social life but still no dating prospects in my early 30s. Overall in not being serious and intentional in dating because of this. But still, there's something about IRL human interaction that online can't replace. Don't get me wrong, I've gained some good friendships and seen some solid relationships when the interactions were first online, but online dating spaces had no involvement in them. Plus the more I read up on them, dating apps are designed for most to not succeed in them. So unless you got the "it" factor or putting the effort similar to an eceleb, I see no point.
DragonSlayer
Card carrying Kaoru fan club member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2023
- Messages
- 245
- Reaction score
- 439
Interesting thread. As a fat ass I don't think any app would give me anything other than making me feel like a piece of shit, or getting screenshotted to be made fun of on twitter. I haven't tried dating in Japan yet but I'd guess being fat is an even bigger handicap there.
For less photogenic people like me touching grass and going to real life spaces, where people actually want to get approached and socialize, is much much better. Even if I don't get any (the usual outcome, ha) I still get to have fun with failed flirts and just talking to cool people in general, and that's almost a given unless you're very socially inept. Hell, even in my virgin-est I got a friend and a date out of two Kansai Gaidai chicks at university just by being at places and being an easy guy to talk to. I didn't get laid because I was a dumbass, but I could have. Probably? It was still more fun than sitting at my dorm jerking it to some random japanese AV star to relieve the frustration, which I also did. 🤣
My point is you get much more chances in real life just by virtue of being there physically instead of getting a millisecond of attention from girls who are probably overwhelmed by gigachad and bot matches at that exact moment. And being anywhere other than inside a shitbox apartment is good for you sometimes.
For less photogenic people like me touching grass and going to real life spaces, where people actually want to get approached and socialize, is much much better. Even if I don't get any (the usual outcome, ha) I still get to have fun with failed flirts and just talking to cool people in general, and that's almost a given unless you're very socially inept. Hell, even in my virgin-est I got a friend and a date out of two Kansai Gaidai chicks at university just by being at places and being an easy guy to talk to. I didn't get laid because I was a dumbass, but I could have. Probably? It was still more fun than sitting at my dorm jerking it to some random japanese AV star to relieve the frustration, which I also did. 🤣
My point is you get much more chances in real life just by virtue of being there physically instead of getting a millisecond of attention from girls who are probably overwhelmed by gigachad and bot matches at that exact moment. And being anywhere other than inside a shitbox apartment is good for you sometimes.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2011
- Messages
- 13,365
- Reaction score
- 36,524
Hey, not like it's an irreversible condition in most cases. Getting fit is hard work, but it really pays off.
DragonSlayer
Card carrying Kaoru fan club member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2023
- Messages
- 245
- Reaction score
- 439
I’m working on it! Last year I went from wishing I could lose weight to wishing I could lose weight -faster-. I lost a ton but there’s still a lot of damage to revert in 2024.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2011
- Messages
- 13,365
- Reaction score
- 36,524
Good stuff, and remember, slow and steady is the way to go for a sustainable and long lasting change!
goodguyjean
TAG Member
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2023
- Messages
- 46
- Reaction score
- 60
I became a fat fuck a few years ago (was always chubby but peaked after the pandemic) and have gotten in pretty good shape/get asked for weight loss advice often now so it's definitely doable with persistence and small lifestyle adjustments so rooting for you!
Getting back on topic, I also considered myself unphotogenic until quite recently and still haven't completely gotten rid of that mentality. The camera certainly adds 10lbs so being chubby can amplify your negative perceptions and the weight loss will certainly help. More than that though I've recently learned the importance of knowing your good angles/getting someone skilled at photography - and I mean SKILLED, to take some photos of you. A friend of mine who isn't a professional by any means but more of a hobbyist photographer got some damn sexy photos of me that have started to change my view on this whole unphotogenic business. Those photos in turn really helped boost my online dating game so consider reaching out to a friend who's skilled, or hell, hire a pro photographer to snap some shots when you're feeling confident and get dressed up and groomed as if you're going on a date and take photos at any interesting looking spot in your area.
I'm still not a fan of the whole online dating business but I got some fun dates out of it and I'd say knowing you can get good photos taken is a huge confidence booster and useful even if you don't choose to go the online dating route so I recommend it!
Murakumo
TAG Member
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2022
- Messages
- 9
- Reaction score
- 11
Honestly you dont even need to be fat to do poorly in dating apps. I am quite fit (it is noticeable enough that new people I meet irl comment on it), and dating apps are unusable for me. Now I bet someone is gonna say its because I upload the douche shirtless mirror pics but I don't, I have normal photos. But I am just not handsome enough for the apps. Some dudes there are getting laid 5 times a week doing 0 effort and everyone else gets nothing.
qcryp
TAG Member
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2022
- Messages
- 289
- Reaction score
- 515
I don't really do the online dating thing anytime recently, but from what I have read is girls say they don't want that stuff, but reality is matches tend to go up when guys add a photo like that (if they are actually fit)
Apps are 80% photos, consider hiring a professional.
That being said, study after study shows that women are becoming increasingly highly selective on apps. So the deck is stacked against a lot of guys.
That being said, study after study shows that women are becoming increasingly highly selective on apps. So the deck is stacked against a lot of guys.
DragonSlayer
Card carrying Kaoru fan club member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2023
- Messages
- 245
- Reaction score
- 439
The woman I'm now seeing came from Tinder out of all places, just like another one I have lined up. I got a couple dozen likes from women I had to ignore because I do have standards, but I had a couple of women who I'd actually want to be with, you know, with features I found cute/pretty and interesting personalities, and nothing below my (kind of) generous standards. So the girl I'm seeing now is like that, short and chubby with a sweet smile and cute mannerisms. No TLC level obesity, she's someone who takes care of herself, has self-esteem, isn't reeking of desperation... and is legitimately fun to be around and cuddle with. We're both into each other and hey, I'm a simple man. 😁
I guess it's not as easy if the level of women you're compatible with usually gets flooded with gigachad matches, pictures, requests, etcetera. But if you're unconventionally attractive like me it's not all that bad, and while I have to admit it's kind of suboptimal compared to being in the hunt IRL, the anxiety barrier to approach someone is much lower. Another thing I noticed is people who are actually attracted to you (who knew I'd find more than one specimen of this!!) waste no time with games in the app's chat feature. I didn't have to come up with an opener in both the success cases, I just commented something I was interested in from their profiles and chat flowed naturally. I respect the nampa boys here but once again all of that feels kind of pointless for me aside from the common sense advice that comes from it, as the game seemed to be decided from the start.
This is just two cents from a somewhat naive new grad, since people chose to bump this thread in answer to my post.
I guess it's not as easy if the level of women you're compatible with usually gets flooded with gigachad matches, pictures, requests, etcetera. But if you're unconventionally attractive like me it's not all that bad, and while I have to admit it's kind of suboptimal compared to being in the hunt IRL, the anxiety barrier to approach someone is much lower. Another thing I noticed is people who are actually attracted to you (who knew I'd find more than one specimen of this!!) waste no time with games in the app's chat feature. I didn't have to come up with an opener in both the success cases, I just commented something I was interested in from their profiles and chat flowed naturally. I respect the nampa boys here but once again all of that feels kind of pointless for me aside from the common sense advice that comes from it, as the game seemed to be decided from the start.
This is just two cents from a somewhat naive new grad, since people chose to bump this thread in answer to my post.
Last edited: