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Confessions of a Tokyo Plate-Spinner

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I thought the spinner was the lady…? So confused …
 
CharlieSimms said:
Plate does not refer to a lady. Though “dish” was used back in the 1950s maybe. Spinning plates refers to delicately keeping a number of ladies at once without dropping (fucking up) just like the activity of well… spinning plates.

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Sounds good but not what Urban Dictionary says (basically plate being slang for sex friend)
 
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Frenchy said:
Sorry dumb non-native here but first time I see “plate” to refer to ladies. Is that millennial/ Gen Z talk?
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First heard the term from author Rollo Tomasi.

It was a trick I had already picked up from women though. They often have at least one other backup waiting in the wings, ready to step in and comfort or replace in the event of a breakup. This is a great psychological boost and hidden leverage in her relationship with you.

Getting a new girlfriend or even just laid is as difficult as ever for a man but the opposite for women, even if they have no backups. I see spinning plates as men's way of keeping up in our dystopian sexual arms race. It is what it is.

Note 1) Many tricks women use against men are devastating when used back against them. Shitty women can be great teachers.

Note 2) I have not read through any of Tomasi's books so I cannot recommend. His tweets are on point but he seems a little too blackpilled.
 
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"Note 1) Many tricks women use against men are devastating when used back against them. Shitty women can be great teachers."

True that.

As a man, want to completely confuse a woman you're seeing?

Act the way a woman does in a relationship.
 
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Thanks again for the great writeup!

For Apps, could you see as the difference between pairs, omiai and with these days is? Also, why doesn't tapple make your list (I haven't used it)

Also, for "the second date is basically permission to take her home" - what are some of your go-to pretexts for heading to your place?
 
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thegreek said:
Nothing beats the feeling of walking into a bar or an izakaya and turning female heads in a good way. Don't overdo the dressing up though, or you'll just be the creepy guy in the loud suit who everyone avoids. Many such cases.
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Just curious because I have just started upgrading my wardrobe lately. What does dressing up 'good' and not over 'dressing' in Japan mean. Is it the same as in the west? Because I've seen some of the guys working in host bars that some Japanese women go for...

Also do brands matter? Like will it be the same if someone buys their wardrobe from Uniqlo or GU vs from more high end stores.
 
nyanko said:
Thanks again for the great writeup!
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Much obliged.

For Apps, could you see as the difference between pairs, omiai and with these days is? Also, why doesn't tapple make your list (I haven't used it)
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I haven't used Pairs seriously in a number of years. Last I tried using, (Q4 last year) Pairs still appeared to have a bot problem where accounts with pictures of beautiful, Chinese-looking women with LINE IDs in their profiles would spam likes to you. If you bite you're just put onto dodgy sites. Omiai also had this problem before but last use (also Q4) they had solved or greatly reduced it.

Other than that, Pairs was looking rather shabby. Their gimmick (a point of difference to Omiai) that was you could "like" things and find people via the things they had liked. They have de-emphasied it in favour of a weird "chat" feature that just isn't a good substitute. With keeps this feature as Pairs used to have it and this is very good not only for finding women but being found by them. I can't remember if Omiai has an equivalent. If it does, it is not as effective.

I have not had a decent lay off tapple in 4 years, despite trying regularly. It is second only to Tinder in trashiness IMO. There are some hotties to be found, but good luck keeping their attention or making it to a date. Of all the apps, this one has the highest chance the girl is just looking for a free meal and drinks. Many on there are open about this. Paying for VIP makes it tolerable but it is just so inefficient compared to better apps. I would recommend this only if you have money and time to burn, your photo game was very on point and for some reason you hate picking up in bars or clubs.

Also, for "the second date is basically permission to take her home" - what are some of your go-to pretexts for heading to your place?
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I don't have complicated pretexts for taking a girl home. Very generic stuff. You can just start going home with her without stating it. You can also say something like "Let's get some drinks somewhere private" or "I've got a nice bottle of sparkling wine at home. Let's go and drink that together.". If the girl is keen she will assent. It's about gauging the girl's vibe correctly (and you can even skip that) and wanting it enough to not be lazy and actually go for the pull.
 
Shadowrunner said:
Just curious because I have just started upgrading my wardrobe lately. What does dressing up 'good' and not over 'dressing' in Japan mean. Is it the same as in the west? Because I've seen some of the guys working in host bars that some Japanese women go for...

Also do brands matter? Like will it be the same if someone buys their wardrobe from Uniqlo or GU vs from more high end stores.
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When it comes to fashion it all boils down to personal style I would say. Of course if you go for more conservative wardrobe brands matter a lot more because especially for men the clothing is on the simplistic side.

If that is not your world and you are more into street fashion it's more about the combination and design that actual brands I would say. Uniqlo etc are ok for the most basic things like socks, sport shirts and underwear because the quality is good, but the clothing lacks identity and is just plain boring. You won't win any price buying your regular wardrobe there.
 
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Shadowrunner said:
Just curious because I have just started upgrading my wardrobe lately. What does dressing up 'good' and not over 'dressing' in Japan mean. Is it the same as in the west? Because I've seen some of the guys working in host bars that some Japanese women go for...

Also do brands matter? Like will it be the same if someone buys their wardrobe from Uniqlo or GU vs from more high end stores.
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Go for colours that go well together or match and sizes and items that fit you well. They do not have to be brand items, but those are usually of higher quality and fit better. If you have no taste yet, consider swiping your look from a celebrity or a grounded-in-reality character. You can google image search an item of clothing and its colour to see what goes with it by looking at what the models that come up are wearing. Consider what your target market wants: would the kind of girl you are looking for think your clothes are nice? If you are going for mass appeal, avoid overly bright colours and garish designs. If, as in your example, you want the kind of girl that likes hosts, consider dressing like a host. There is no right or wrong here, just be aware.

I prefer natural fibres like cotton and wool and blends over artificial fibres such as polyester and nylon. They look better and do not start smelling as easily. Suits, matching and broken, go down well. Too loud and weird is bad and will not gain you positive attention*: I once saw a man in a patterned green suit enter a bar and repel everyone around him. Print T-shirts generally aren't great. Check shirts are considered nerdy. Wear decent leader shoes or boots, unless deliberately going for a casual look with clean sneakers.

* = Except maybe in Osaka.
 
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thegreek said:
I prefer natural fibres like cotton and wool and blends over artificial fibres such as polyester and nylon. They look better and do not start smelling as easily. Suits, matching and broken, go down well. Too loud and weird is bad and will not gain you positive attention*: I once saw a man in a patterned green suit enter a bar and repel everyone around him. Print T-shirts generally aren't great. Check shirts are considered nerdy. Wear decent leader shoes or boots, unless deliberately going for a casual look with clean sneakers.

* = Except maybe in Osaka.
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Completely agree with everything that you say, but if course it is always a tradeoff. With certain cloths you will appeal more to a broad variety of people, but besides scoring girls cloth also are central point of personal identity. That is how you present yourself before you can even say a word...some people prefer to look nice, others want to look stick out a bit. Most important thing is probably that you own it 😉
 
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Danbo said:
Uniqlo etc are ok for the most basic things like socks, sport shirts and underwear because the quality is good, but the clothing lacks identity and is just plain boring. You won't win any price buying your regular wardrobe there.
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A lot of people won't be able to tell the difference between someone wearing a Uniqlo sweater or some 100 bucks designer one that also has nothing special about it. It's not the clothes that lack identity, it's the person wearing the clothes that don't fir their identity.

There's a reason a lot of Japanese people shop at Uniqlo/G.U. It may be "boring" because everyone does it, but everyone still looks good and well put together in that stuff. That being said: picked up a nice turtleneck sweater there that goes well with my coat and pants, now I think I look sexy as hell.

Until I look at my face, of course...
 
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thegreek said:
I generally use any app for a month or so then get off it.

I did a Bumble run earlier this year. Got a few matches. Most busted compared to other apps. Only two meets. Both not great. Then new matches stopped and ended run. Yielded zero lays. Timing matters though, so perhaps was just a bad run.

Had a mate do better out of it and pull a few but still mostly older (late 30s+) women iirc.

For reference, a month on a better app can yield lots of meets and 1-4+ new lays easy.
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Milfs are hot dude!

If they say they’re 39, they’re looking for last chances to get their baby bone.

If they say 40+, they DGAF.

I suppose you could say similar for 29 vs 30, but with lesser urgency. The first round of stigma is for 30s+.
 
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thegreek said:
Agreed, but they are easier pickings. I am interested in pulling higher level these days. That means younger and single.
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Came back to ask if you had any gyaru updates. It was an interesting (tanned and pert) sub-culture. (Snookie!) But I think it was a short-lived deal, maybe there are a few small enclaves/survivors left in Shibuya?
 
Hardcastle said:
Came back to ask if you had any gyaru updates. It was an interesting (tanned and pert) sub-culture. (Snookie!) But I think it was a short-lived deal, maybe there are a few small enclaves/survivors left in Shibuya?
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Gyaru back in the day was a very distinctive and small subculture that is mostly gone, but nowadays the word is used in a much broader way because it merged with regular culture.
Girls with colorful/dyed hair, a generally slighlt exaggerated bling style, visible tattoos or just a very sexy feminine style all fall in this category nowadays....it has just shifted.
 
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thegreek said:
I'm required to keep my place spotless: a stray hair that doesn't belong to a girl who visits can end a relationship.

Also extremely careful about showing things on phone in general:
  • pics with or of other girls can crop up, including nudes
  • notifications, message previews, calls from other girls can show up
  • she may notice you have a dating or even language exchange app installed
  • she may notice another girl's name show up in your autocorrect
  • once a GAME sent a notification filled with hearts. The girl saw the hearts and that was a big fight. The relationship survived but I'm still not sure she ever believed it wasn't from a girl.

Feel free to ask anything else.
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Judging from what you wrote, do you tell your plates that you are seeing other girls at the same time? I assume no?

Do they ever ask if you both are bf-gf relationship?
I wonder how do you handle this? Do you say you love them? Or you tell them the truth that you are seeing other girls? Ever mentioned 'セフレ (FWB)?

Based on what you wrote about the things like "keeping your place spotless, a stray hair from a girl can end a relationship", I assume you lie to them that they are the only one you are seeing at the moment (a.k.a monogamous relationship) ?


The reason I asked is that I was seeing 3 girls at one time (all around age 20), and I lied to them all saying she is my only girlfriend. The 2nd girl came to my home 1 day after the 1st girl and the 2nd girl had 'smell' fetish (weird I know), and she could tell from my pillow that there was another girl who stayed here recently and I was caught, and I just told the truth and everything went downhill from there. This 2nd girl loved me so much she was willing to give me few months time to decide if I would ditch other girls just to be with her only
 
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There is no way to successfully cheat using your home as the place where it all goes down. You will never be able to cover all the small details that will always be picked up. セフレ relationships are pretty common and standard - certainly not everyone, ladies included, are looking for romance.
 
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SkyTechnica said:
Judging from what you wrote, do you tell your plates that you are seeing other girls at the same time? I assume no?
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Of course no.

Re: your 'smell fetish' girl

a) Change your pillow covers between girls
b) Girls will accuse you of shit to fuck with you. Deny always. Have more confidence than them. Gaslight. It works. If they are too difficult consider dropping.

CharlieSimms said:
There is no way to successfully cheat using your home as the place where it all goes down.
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Lies. Keep your room clean and select for girls that don't go diving in your trash. Not hard.
 
thegreek said:
Lies. Keep your room clean and select for girls that don't go diving in your trash. Not hard.
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How you want to risk your own life is your own business of course. But I have seen many many cases where gents were caught by a single stray hair or some tiny small detail they missed. There is a reason forensic scientists are predominantly female - and women are almost in all cases smarter than men. Especially in these matters. It’s a game easily lost.
 
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CharlieSimms said:
But I have seen many many cases where gents were caught by a single stray hair or some tiny small detail they missed.
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One of my friends, sorry acquaintances, got caught because such a small detail. Namely his girl found a condom behind the sofa. Used one that is.

The best part? It was not even his. Just that when he was out of town for few days he borrowed his flat for one of his friends who was cheating on his girlfriend.

At that point it is easier to confess than try to explain that. :ROFLMAO:
 
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