Dating Japanese Women & Problems

[Solong]

The only people I know doing that are millionaires or pretty boys where the women throw themselves at them. Not the average Joe.

When you got crazy money, and everybody around you knows it or senses it, it's easy. If you have the looks of a model too, even easier. Hell, women can be tripping over themselves trying to stand next to you, then it's just an easy turkey shoot of which one. Especially when he's above average in money or looks, and she's poor or plain Jane that's trying to get a piece of a higher status guy.

 

[Wwanderer]

When you got crazy money, and everybody around you knows it or senses it, it's easy. If you have the looks of a model too, even easier. Hell, women can be tripping over themselves trying to stand next to you, then it's just an easy turkey shoot of which one.

Although pretty comfortable financially, I don't think I would be accurately described as having "crazy money"...more like upper middle class to lower upper class in socio-economic terms. However more to the point, I was not even close to as well off for most of my adult life as I am now, and it made zero difference to the experiences from which I draw the advise I give above.

-Ww

 

[4vibes]

Although pretty comfortable financially, I don't think I would be accurately described as having "crazy money"...more like upper middle class to lower upper class in socio-economic terms. However more to the point, I was not even close to as well off for most of my adult life as I am now, and it made zero difference to the experiences from which I draw the advise I give above.

-Ww

I see. The golden boy. The boss's favorite. Power and looks. That works too.

 

[NormalGuy]

I tried some of this self improvement today, as I had a meeting with my boss and HR on flexible working hours and a payrise, I think it worked.

It started out with us entering the meeting, my boss and the woman from HR were already seated, so I pulled the chair to the edge of the table so I was sat nearer my boss at 90 degrees, I think he was impressed with this tact. We started discussing the topic at hand, and every time he crossed his legs I mimicked his actions, trying to build up rapport with him. He crossed his arms, I crossed my arms, he gave me some strange looks, so I could see I was having an effect on him, I think he was just impressed with me taking the initiative.

After a while, I needed to go up a notch, as I think I stood a chance for going for double digits on the payrise, so every time he asked me a question I just grunted at him, I could see him looking at the women from HR more and more as each question arose, so I guess they had some secret signal going to negotiate my payrise without talking numbers. When I did need to answer his questions specifically, I made sure to leave a good long silence before shouting my answer at him, sometimes I think this took him completely by surprise as he was half was through asking the next question as I shouted the answer to the previous question at him, but sometimes he waited patiently for me to finish counting to 30 aloud before I shouted it at him (I'm not so good at counting in my head).

After this, we moved onto the discussion of flexible working hours, and this is where I think I definitely secured the deal. We were discussing me finishing work earlier each day, providing I start early, HR were initially against this idea, but I pulled out the master trick, sealing the deal. I grabbed my bosses hand and stroked it while staring at his face for 2 minutes without saying a word.

He then told me to go home, and HR would be in contact, so I think they must now be discussing my payrise and working hours before coming back to me with an offer. I wasn't aware the company doctor had a say in my payrise though, but I guess he must have as they've told me to visit him before they make their final decision.

 

[DJV]

I tried some of this self improvement today, as I had a meeting with my boss and HR on flexible working hours and a payrise, I think it worked.

It started out with us entering the meeting, my boss and the woman from HR were already seated, so I pulled the chair to the edge of the table so I was sat nearer my boss at 90 degrees, I think he was impressed with this tact. We started discussing the topic at hand, and every time he crossed his legs I mimicked his actions, trying to build up rapport with him. He crossed his arms, I crossed my arms, he gave me some strange looks, so I could see I was having an effect on him, I think he was just impressed with me taking the initiative.

After a while, I needed to go up a notch, as I think I stood a chance for going for double digits on the payrise, so every time he asked me a question I just grunted at him, I could see him looking at the women from HR more and more as each question arose, so I guess they had some secret signal going to negotiate my payrise without talking numbers. When I did need to answer his questions specifically, I made sure to leave a good long silence before shouting my answer at him, sometimes I think this took him completely by surprise as he was half was through asking the next question as I shouted the answer to the previous question at him, but sometimes he waited patiently for me to finish counting to 30 aloud before I shouted it at him (I'm not so good at counting in my head).

After this, we moved onto the discussion of flexible working hours, and this is where I think I definitely secured the deal. We were discussing me finishing work earlier each day, providing I start early, HR were initially against this idea, but I pulled out the master trick, sealing the deal. I grabbed my bosses hand and stroked it while staring at his face for 2 minutes without saying a word.

He then told me to go home, and HR would be in contact, so I think they must now be discussing my payrise and working hours before coming back to me with an offer. I wasn't aware the company doctor had a say in my payrise though, but I guess he must have as they've told me to visit him before they make their final decision.

Good job, this 'professional' behavior you displayed will also help for the payrise.

Now you might avoid the second common mistake.. you need to do some follow-up : go see HR and boss one-to-one and gather some feedback (not necessarily formal).

You have just started the closing, now you need to complete it and make everyone comfortable with it (especially the guys who are not satisfied by a single-step transaction).

...and now we're off topic

 

[NormalGuy]

Sorry, will bring it back on topic.

I'm guessing the woman from HR will block my payrise, as she's Japanese.

 

[Solong]

Sorry, will bring it back on topic.

I'm guessing the woman from HR will block my payrise, as she's Japanese.

Was the point to purposely attempt to derail the topic? If you are coming back on topic, then where is your addition to it?

 

[DJV]

Was the point to purposely attempt to derail the topic? If you are coming back on topic, then where is your addition to it?

It was a cold re-rail.
Escalating to actually dating the HR Japanese lady.

 

[Sinapse]

I tried some of this self improvement today, as I had a meeting with my boss and HR on flexible working hours and a payrise, I think it worked.

It started out with us entering the meeting, my boss and the woman from HR were already seated, so I pulled the chair to the edge of the table so I was sat nearer my boss at 90 degrees, I think he was impressed with this tact. We started discussing the topic at hand, and every time he crossed his legs I mimicked his actions, trying to build up rapport with him. He crossed his arms, I crossed my arms, he gave me some strange looks, so I could see I was having an effect on him, I think he was just impressed with me taking the initiative.

After a while, I needed to go up a notch, as I think I stood a chance for going for double digits on the payrise, so every time he asked me a question I just grunted at him, I could see him looking at the women from HR more and more as each question arose, so I guess they had some secret signal going to negotiate my payrise without talking numbers. When I did need to answer his questions specifically, I made sure to leave a good long silence before shouting my answer at him, sometimes I think this took him completely by surprise as he was half was through asking the next question as I shouted the answer to the previous question at him, but sometimes he waited patiently for me to finish counting to 30 aloud before I shouted it at him (I'm not so good at counting in my head).

After this, we moved onto the discussion of flexible working hours, and this is where I think I definitely secured the deal. We were discussing me finishing work earlier each day, providing I start early, HR were initially against this idea, but I pulled out the master trick, sealing the deal. I grabbed my bosses hand and stroked it while staring at his face for 2 minutes without saying a word.

He then told me to go home, and HR would be in contact, so I think they must now be discussing my payrise and working hours before coming back to me with an offer. I wasn't aware the company doctor had a say in my payrise though, but I guess he must have as they've told me to visit him before they make their final decision.

OHHHH HAHAHA it's funny because you IMAGINED trying TECHNIQUES and it got you FIRED in your mind. HA!

Hilarious. Thanks for that. Really proved a point

 

[NormalGuy]

Wow, I guess you PUA are not pulling women with your keen sense of humour then, or your ability to spot a joke.

 

[NormalGuy]

Editing your post to stop you looking stupid, doesn't stop you looking stupid

 

[Sinapse]

Really, keep talking. Everybody's waiting for more

 

[Chocoballs]

Too bad this thread is going to get locked soon. But I think it would have been good if points 1-3 were in a separate thread from points 4-7.

 

[Solong]

Too bad this thread is going to get locked soon. But I think it would have been good if points 1-3 were in a separate thread from points 4-7.

I hope it doesn't get locked, despite attempts to. There are some interesting contributions in it.

 

[bruv]

Yo let's fix this thread then, allow the haters. I like the original points, I don't think they're all jus a Japan thing but some are for sure. Some counterbalance opinions tho:

Talkin bout number (2), I sent a happy new year sticker to everyone on my line list this year like I done every year since my old Nokia 3210 phone way back in the day. Its jus a sticker, innocent enough and dont even need a reply. But often along with old mates and stuff I'd get replies with girls I lost touch with. Great reason to not delete a chicks details. a random one mssged just tonight actually offering free chicken wings (wtf). Girls got so many reasons to drop off your radar, might just be busy, got a 'just for show' bf, whatever. I aint even mad, so long as they dont take the piss, which never happens. If it does, then delete away. normally theres no reason to just burn the bridge tho, if they know the doors open and it aint no biggie they often test the water with a random msg here n there, or a comment on your line profile updates, then come right back into your life. Meanwhile your life goes on same, whether they come back or not.

As for the out of your league/status thing (6?), aint been my experience really either, I prolly get more attention from Upper class or academic chicks than my own workin class in fact. I reckon the contrast, or escape from the norm or restrictions of her usual life helps my case. One time a girl came right off the plane to my house after two weeks at a fancy wedding in the San Diego with her family. she said her holiday was so suffocating and my life jus seemed so free in comparison. Similar things happen often. Trick is not to feel lesser than the so-called 'out of our league' girls jus cuz we're broke or less 'good-looking'. don't apologise for what you are or what you want. ever.

 

[NormalGuy]

OHHHH HAHAHA it's funny because you tried TECHNIQUES and it got you FIRED

Don't get all butthurt because you didn't get the joke while everyone else did.

Hilarious. Thanks for that. Really proved a point

ditto

 

[Randy Jinx]

You aren't giving actionable advice. Be "natural", "go with the flow", "use the Force", etc... That all sounds good in movies, but doesn't reflect reality. Even a Jedi needs and uses actual techniques to fight with.

If a guy (or woman) are failing or not doing well, as they presently are, specific advice on how to correct and impriove their situation is more useful. Coaches, trainers, and teachers are paid and are valued for being specific.

This is why I'm concerned about the perceived elitism. Like a soft and refined man of privilege and money, who had it easy for a long time, yelling at gladiators on how he would like to see them fight.

"A gladiator should be a natural. And when he fights, he should never: bite, trip, throw dirt, no..."

"Hey you, from way up there eating turkey. We are fighting and dying in this arena. We want to know and will do what it takes to win"

I tried some of this self improvement today, as I had a meeting with my boss and HR on flexible working hours and a payrise, I think it worked.

It started out with us entering the meeting, my boss and the woman from HR were already seated, so I pulled the chair to the edge of the table so I was sat nearer my boss at 90 degrees, I think he was impressed with this tact. We started discussing the topic at hand, and every time he crossed his legs I mimicked his actions, trying to build up rapport with him. He crossed his arms, I crossed my arms, he gave me some strange looks, so I could see I was having an effect on him, I think he was just impressed with me taking the initiative.

After a while, I needed to go up a notch, as I think I stood a chance for going for double digits on the payrise, so every time he asked me a question I just grunted at him, I could see him looking at the women from HR more and more as each question arose, so I guess they had some secret signal going to negotiate my payrise without talking numbers. When I did need to answer his questions specifically, I made sure to leave a good long silence before shouting my answer at him, sometimes I think this took him completely by surprise as he was half was through asking the next question as I shouted the answer to the previous question at him, but sometimes he waited patiently for me to finish counting to 30 aloud before I shouted it at him (I'm not so good at counting in my head).

After this, we moved onto the discussion of flexible working hours, and this is where I think I definitely secured the deal. We were discussing me finishing work earlier each day, providing I start early, HR were initially against this idea, but I pulled out the master trick, sealing the deal. I grabbed my bosses hand and stroked it while staring at his face for 2 minutes without saying a word.

He then told me to go home, and HR would be in contact, so I think they must now be discussing my payrise and working hours before coming back to me with an offer. I wasn't aware the company doctor had a say in my payrise though, but I guess he must have as they've told me to visit him before they make their final decision.

Glad to see the comedians are out! I got good chuckles from both of these.

 

[Randy Jinx]

The only thing that I'd reject in a conversation is one person saying that another person speaking from experience is the wrong way of picking up women.

like this guy?

I speak my mind. Others may not because of people like you who make judgement. People like you is why women are afraid of showing their true sexuality. PUA embraces man's sexuality and share it with women.

You drew me to this thread, by accusing me of manipulating women just because I know how to pleasure women.

I guess having sex is also wrong? Since you discount the woman's participation as no more than just a passive and unwilling participant. Are you suggesting, they don't enjoy the seduction and can't walk away? Let's look at giving women pleasure. Are suggesting men should not learn to give women pleasure? PUA is just the first step to giving women pleasure.

In case you have not read ww's postings, he calls what PUA do as tricks to bed women. Now you tell me how can anyone trick anyone to do that? So women don't want sex and PUA are brainwashing them into having sex? As I stated above, giving women pleasure takes skill. And WW suggest a man learning to do it is wrong. A man should neglect to do his duty. What kind of logic is that?

WW accuses PUA tricks women into having sex. He is saying women don't want sex and PUA are brainwashing them into having sex. Seduction is a prelude to sex(the chase). Having sex is just the climax. Both give women pleasure.

Would sex be the same thing? A man is require to do some thing to the woman during sex?

And be in the friend zone forever..... And must P4P.... What do lovers do? The above.

The only people I know doing that are millionaires or pretty boys where the women throw themselves at them. Not the average Joe.

I see. The golden boy. The boss's favorite. Power and looks. That works too.

 

[Wwanderer]

I see. The golden boy. The boss's favorite. Power and looks. That works too.

Despite @NormalGuy 's inspired, if not universally appreciated, humor, the above is by far the funniest post in the thread for anyone who actually knows me irl!

@4vibes - You have now posted a long series of guesses/intuitions about me that are totally amazing in their incredible and perfectly consistent inaccuracy. I am not sure I can even recall most of them. One of the first was that I have religious objections to sex or PUA or whatever. Another was that I am a bitter old man. And that I am jealous. And that I am incredibly rich (and always have been I guess). And that I am unpopular (can't get along with people) on TAG. And that I cause women to be afraid of being openly sexual. And that I am the boss's favorite. And that I have a lot of power. And that I am a "golden boy". And that I have, of all things, good looks. I imagine I am forgetting some, but I am certain that there is not a single speculation about me that has been even close to correct and most are the exact opposite of the truth. It is like one of those comedy routines which keeps getting funnier with each repetition of the same simple joke (like "Who's on first?").

But one question, why are you so obsessed with what I'm like irl anyway? In fact, why do you care at all? OK, that's two questions.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

Trick is not to feel lesser than the so-called 'out of our league' girls jus cuz we're broke or less 'good-looking'. don't apologise for what you are or what you want. ever.

There is gold in @bruv's post, and the above is not the only example.

Do not apologize for or regret or try to fundamentally change what you are...more or less what I have been trying to say in many threads (at MUCH greater length!).

-Ww

 

[Sudsy]

Trick is not to feel lesser than the so-called 'out of our league' girls jus cuz we're broke or less 'good-looking'. don't apologise for what you are or what you want. ever.

This is pretty much the trick to life, not just women.

As the book title says, everybody poops. We're all just hairless apes.

 

[Wwanderer]

This is pretty much the trick to life, not just women.

And that trick is that there is NO trick. (I love koans, and koans love me!)

-Ww

 

[Sudsy]

And that trick is that there is NO trick. (I love koans, and koans love me!)

-Ww

Sometimes it's useful to remember that there is no spoon.

 

[msaber]

I need advice on dating a Japanese girl.

Recently I dated a Japanese girl. We study at the same university (different major). I like to see her again but she replies : "I am busy , I am sorry"

In this situation, what should I do? Do I need to insist more and more?

How can I lead this dating to get her?

Based on my experience, Japanese girls are difficult. They don't trust easily.

Explanation: This university is prestigious and students are very busy with research and study.

 

[Tokyodude]

In Japan "I'm busy" usually means I'm not
Interested. They cannot say - I'm not interested becuase - that would be too direct and perhaps piss off the guy then they fear whatever reaction that could lead to and also bad harmony and mood at work/school etc..
Perhaps she has a boyfriend but does not want to go public wiht this which is also quite common due to fear of gossips etc

Of course even if she is super busy she could still find time - she eats, she sleeps etc.. All you have to do is to share her "bed time" that would work for most guys in terms of quality time ...