Dating or Marrying An Escort or Sex Worker - A Second Look

[MikeH]

but it is the way I feel and we cannot change the way we feel when it comes to matters of the soul.

This is utterly and completely bullshit. You were not born with your thoughts but selected them while growing up.

So you can also change them, you have just chosen not to.

 

[AnotherTag]

One might forgive and one might not. Do couples always share their past sins? Do MARRIED couples always share their past sins? Will people change and will they be willing to change? So many variables. It DEPENDS hah.

I don't think I would mind trying to date these girls, but I would ask them to change jobs if the relationship becomes serious; this is what I would do, but would the girl be okay with that? It's probably up to her and not to me. I just think escort/sex work jobs are temporary trying to survive until you find something better, much like the fast food joints, unless you become the managers or something, not a long term commitment.

 

[warubuta]

This is utterly and completely bullshit. You were not born with your thoughts but selected them while growing up.

So you can also change them, you have just chosen not to.

This guy! Mike, how we feel about things is completely out of our control. Psychotherapy tries very hard to help us understand why we feel the way we do, but it is mostly a mystery. So can you change how you feel about sex with men vs women or rock vs classical? No you cannot. How you feel is how you feel. And I don't even know how to approach the utterance 'you select your thoughts while you are growing up'. No you do not. What does that mean anyway? Our thoughts come to us from a deep place in our minds into which we have almost no visibility or understanding. Oh except for Mike who chooses his thoughts off a shelf at the conbini.

 

[MikeH]

Our thoughts come to us from a deep place

Yours definitely seem to.

 

[warubuta]

Yours definitely seem to.

One might forgive and one might not. Do couples always share their past sins? Do MARRIED couples always share their past sins? Will people change and will they be willing to change? So many variables. It DEPENDS hah.

I don't think I would mind trying to date these girls, but I would ask them to change jobs if the relationship becomes serious; this is what I would do, but would the girl be okay with that? It's probably up to her and not to me. I just think escort/sex work jobs are temporary trying to survive until you find something better, much like the fast food joints, unless you become the managers or something, not a long term commitment.

We men are the culprits, aren't we? On the one hand many of us love the fast and nasty P4P, but then on the other hand many of us stigmatize the very people who make our little hobby possible! Totally illogical. Our hearts and minds feel one way, but our peckers feel another way! We are conflicted messes. Logic has nothing to do with it.

 

[Frenchy]

We men are the culprits, aren't we? On the one hand many of us love the fast and nasty P4P, but then on the other hand many of us stigmatize the very people who make our little hobby possible! Totally illogical. Our hearts and minds feel one way, but our peckers feel another way! We are conflicted messes. Logic has nothing to do with it.

That much is true , most of the time .
But we can still like P4P without stigmatizing the providers (the good ones at least!)

 

[TAG Manager]

The topic has to do with dating or being married to a sex worker; let's keep the topic about those experiences or expectations and the related concerns that come along with it. Posts derailing the topic are at risk for removal.

Going back to the topic -- The comparison of sharing your partner vs. sex work has been brought up in the past. Couples that are swingers or girls that participate in group events, like those at a happening bar, share some of the same hallmarks. Except, one is being paid while the other is not.

Does money exchange for the companionship really make those sharing scenarios that much different?

If you were dating a sex worker (or married) and you both decided to go to a swinging event, would you still have the same concerns if she or he were out solo on a paid arrangement? Could you tolerate the sharing scenario more easily than the one-on-one escort work? (as an example)

Lastly for this follow-up, what about BDSM? What if you were dating or married to a dominatrix? And she's paid to dominate her clients... do you place the same views on this line of work as you would basic sex work?

 

[nedar]

This will probably sound naive and idealistic to some on the board, but I'd hope that I would be able to separate love and sex.

If my (hypothetical) partner was doing sex work for a living, and assuming we were up front and honest to each other, it's a job. Probably would have to have some boundaries, like not cancelling a date or special event for a client (which applies to all careers really), but ultimately it's just another, more physical, job. Being in a relationship does not give me exclusive access to her time and her body and she's free to do what she wants, just as I would be.

What I'd focus on more is the emotional component. Rather than gush on like some bad romance novel, I'll just say that if I'm the one she wants to wake up next to, and the one she wants to come home to, then it's enough.

Of course, the above is all theoretical and I could turn out to be the possessive, jealous, conservative type in real life.

 

[AMcguyver]

Going back to the topic -- The comparison of sharing your partner vs. sex work has been brought up in the past. Couples that are swingers or girls that participate in group events, like those at a happening bar, share some of the same hallmarks. Except, one is being paid while the other is not.

Does money exchange for the companionship really make those sharing scenarios that much different?

I would assume the money exchange makes a difference somewhat? In a paid scenario the provider may or may not like the client but may do it because of the money? Versus the unpaid scenario where the person chooses who they want based on attraction? Interesting topic.

 

[spire]

My 2 cents I guess

Dating
Ex sex worker = no problem
Current sex worker = depends

Marriage
Ex sex worker = no problem
Current sex worker = no

Which I guess breaking it down further would be why are they doing sex work?

- Only job they can do?
- Money is too good?
- In crazy debt?

I guess to each his own but me personally I dont find any of those to be an acceptable reason to continue sex work while married.
But I think it depends on whether you believe a marriage should be open/closed/sexual monogamy or not?

But then again maybe you can convince yourself that if the sex is "business" only and they dont love the person that you are not in an open marriage?

 

[warubuta]

The topic has to do with dating or being married to a sex worker; let's keep the topic about those experiences or expectations and the related concerns that come along with it. Posts derailing the topic are at risk for removal.

Going back to the topic -- The comparison of sharing your partner vs. sex work has been brought up in the past. Couples that are swingers or girls that participate in group events, like those at a happening bar, share some of the same hallmarks. Except, one is being paid while the other is not.

Does money exchange for the companionship really make those sharing scenarios that much different?

If you were dating a sex worker (or married) and you both decided to go to a swinging event, would you still have the same concerns if she or he were out solo on a paid arrangement? Could you tolerate the sharing scenario more easily than the one-on-one escort work? (as an example)

Lastly for this follow-up, what about BDSM? What if you were dating or married to a dominatrix? And she's paid to dominate her clients... do you place the same views on this line of work as you would basic sex work?

I have doubts in general about the efficacy of 'open relationships' where couples screw whomever they feel like and go to orgies together and whatnot. To love each other exclusively but be non-exclusive with sex is a recipe for trouble IMO. Maybe some people can pull it off, but I dont think these relationships are very stable and I think one participant is usually coerced into going along with it. They are unhappy with it but they are doing it because it is better than breaking up. It is portrayed in the media and popular entertainment as a progressive and enlightened way to live, but I think this is just more Holllywood BS. Most heterosexual human beings are not psychologically wired this way. At some point we want a monogamous life partner that is emotionally and sexually exclusive. I have to think this is a Darwinian influence: natural selection created this psychological need to support successful raising of offspring and the continued success of the species. Gays however seem to be a bit different. Since most do not seem to be into procreating and having families (in my observation anyway) they seem to be more comfortable with having a steady partner but also having sex partners on the side, having orgies and so forth. I envy this. I wish it worked for me, but I am heterosexual.

I would not want to have a sex worker as a partner for alot of reasons. One that immediately comes to mind is that the last thing she is going to want to do after a long day of blowjobs is give me a blowjob. And me after a long day at work, all I really want is a blowjob. And a beer too. And the last think I want is to listen to my wife/GF talk about all the blowjobs she gave at work today. No thanks. That would just blow. Ha.

BDSM? It depends. If my wife/GF got paid lots of cash to dress up in a black rubber bathing suit and paddle strange men's bare asses and step on their balls with stiletto shoes, that would be fine with me. I wouldn't really care as long as she doesnt try that shit on me. But if she had to provide sexual services such as oral or intercourse, I would not be favorable.

 

[MikeH]

And a beer too. And the last think I want is to listen to my wife/GF talk about all the blowjobs she gave at work today. No thanks.

That's why I would never date or marry a waitress. The last thing I want to think or listen is all the guys she served beer at work. I want her to bring me my beer exclusively.

 

[warubuta]

That's why I would never date or marry a waitress. The last thing I want to think or listen is all the guys she served beer at work. I want her to bring me my beer exclusively.

You should marry a Maid ご主人様お帰りなさい！

 

[Anna Summer]

I have doubts in general about the efficacy of 'open relationships' where couples screw whomever they feel like and go to orgies together and whatnot. To love each other exclusively but be non-exclusive with sex is a recipe for trouble IMO. Maybe some people can pull it off, but I dont think these relationships are very stable and I think one participant is usually coerced into going along with it. They are unhappy with it but they are doing it because it is better than breaking up. It is portrayed in the media and popular entertainment as a progressive and enlightened way to live, but I think this is just more Holllywood BS. Most heterosexual human beings are not psychologically wired this way. At some point we want a monogamous life partner that is emotionally and sexually exclusive.

Paging @Troilist

 

[Sinapse]

I'm more than happy to be friends with sex workers (I generally get along well with them and find them to be good people) but can't particularly imagine myself dating or marrying them if they're still working. It's mostly a health issue, but also to me the main thing about marriage (whether or not I'd partake is another matter entirely) is the idea of commitment. It seems a bit pointless to commit to someone who by the nature of their work cannot commit back. At that rate, might as well just stay sex friends.. What's the difference?

Previous workers wouldn't be that much of an issue for me, if they had stopped and were in good health

 

[User#6517]

Which I guess breaking it down further would be why are they doing sex work?

- Only job they can do?
- Money is too good?
- In crazy debt?

Not everyone becomes a sexworker because of desperation. That sounds like Captain Save-A-Ho mentality.

 

[TristianOsakaBros]

I should have probably written about this in the initial posting - but this is also an issue. This is simply insecurity.

My primary concern if actively dating a sex worker would be her safety and my own safety. I know what she's doing for an income and I know that she doesn't bring that home with her. If she was an independent worker, I'd probably be the kind of person to check on her at the scheduled finish time to make sure she's safely finished (and on her way back to me ). When I speak about the personal safety of us both, it's related to avoiding stalkers and also regular health checks.

I've been around the business long enough to know what's going on most of the time, so I'm pretty secure with the facts in each case.

Too true. Flat out insecurity. This particular girlfriend actually taught me a lot about relationships in general.

Being an open, reasonable person that's willing to really listen is an invaluable asset as a partner who's working in the sex industry. And this not to say that you should feel like you have less value, we all go to a job and have to deal with different stresses. If the relationship becomes imbalanced where you're providing lots of support to your partner but not getting the same in return, then that's a sign of something that should be brought up. Don't sweep issues under the rug... discuss them at the right time.

Sometimes it doesn't work, but more times than not, it can work with the right approach and personalities.

Once again too true. Having an open ear and a level of trust to be able to ask questions is really important.
In my case as well, at the time I was dating this girlfriend, I didn't have as much knowledge of the adult and sex industry as I do now.
The feeling of being in the unknown and not understanding how things worked in her world really added to my insecurity. Therefore, the guy really has to put the effort in to do the homework, or the girl has to do her best to explain things.

It's hard to get answers, when you don't know the right questions to ask aye.

 

[User#8628]

I'm more than happy to be friends with sex workers (I generally get along well with them and find them to be good people) but can't particularly imagine myself dating or marrying them if they're still working. It's mostly a health issue, but also to me the main thing about marriage (whether or not I'd partake is another matter entirely) is the idea of commitment. It seems a bit pointless to commit to someone who by the nature of their work cannot commit back. At that rate, might as well just stay sex friends.. What's the difference?

Previous workers wouldn't be that much of an issue for me, if they had stopped and were in good health

Hm, no offence but how would sex worker health issues be different from the general health issues of sleeping around a lot, which you don't seem to have a problem with? Just curious, no judging here.

To me personally, i don't think commitment and monogamy are the same thing. But thats just my personal take on it and i understand its different for most people.

 

[User#8628]

Everyone is being so dramatic with the whole "sex workers can't control their spending and they do sex work because they don't have a choice" thing. I can see where those judgements are comming from, certainly your standard oppai club or pinksalon girl in Japan is pressed for cash. And of course there is this traditional western view of women who don't see another way. But i think in modern society there is a growing number of confident women with a passion for their job, and good reasons to work hard and make bank and have a future.

Since my sexuality started to develop i have always loved the concept of sex work, and just like going to Japan, the reality was even BETTER than i could imagine. The sweet seduction game makes about everything that i have been shunned for (sexy clothes, intense look in my eyes, sleazy smile) a positive point.
By having a killer body without putting time and attention into it, having youth by my side and having the exotic look down after moving to the other side of the world, i feel like i have everything going for me.
It reflects in my clientele. I thought guys would be cold but the MAJORITY of guys i meet are mesmerized by me and carry me on their hands. I thought i would feel used but i have never felt more adored, more loved. I'm assured the connection i have with my clients is real. This can indeed be threatening to a partner, but i do believe in commitment and i think a confident man would trust in me to aways but h first and come back to him. I believe i have enough love to give.

This rush that escorting gives me is something thats far more important to me than money. Do i believe i'm a perfect goddess or something? Not really. But with getting caught up in a game of love, lust, friendship and passion for life, any woman can be a goddess, which is why there are providers with all kinds of looks and from all walks of life. Our job is to adore and be adored and to create a chemistry that makes us rise up from the ground!

Although money doesn't come first for me, it's essential for me to charge to make a selection, make the game more intense (because any game becomes more intense when we play it for money!) and most importantly to secure my future.
I'll admit that i'm no investment tycoon and that i can make mistakes and may not always optimize my savings.
But i'm not a person who throws money around or spends money she doesn't have. I like the finer things in life and have a work hard, play hard mentality, but i'm a person for savings, not a person for depts.

And which guy wouldn't like a woman who can earn well by herself and still have time for him? If you don't want a woman with an escort's salary and talents, you're the one missing out, not her.

 

[Sinapse]

Hm, no offence but how would sex worker health issues be different from the general health issues of sleeping around a lot, which you don't seem to have a problem with? Just curious, no judging here.

Do doctors who deal with disease daily stop washing their hands because they're already exposed to everything?

I think there's a difference between things you do because you have to or want to, and avoiding unnecessary risks & having prudent judgment. Also, there's NO WAY I could ever dream of approaching the sheer number of partners some sex workers attain... Some of the numbers people talk about would make me feel uncomfortable if I even just shook hands with that many people in a day . I do sleep around a lot but I'm also a little bit of a germaphobe.. I don't even really like people even touching my face (even girlfriends) that much, I avoid touching train railings if I can help it, etc.

Also, generally speaking if I am dating someone long-term I want to not use condoms, which is something I really wouldn't ever do with a sex worker. In many ways, not using protection is one of the "perks" of actually dating someone as opposed to just hooking up. Again, I don't really have anything against sex workers themselves, but I just wouldn't really go out of my way to date/marry (an active) one. That said, feelings happen and it's possible of course that I end up falling for one. I certainly hang out with plenty & my best friend loves picking them up...

To me personally, i don't think commitment and monogamy are the same thing. But thats just my personal take on it and i understand its different for most people.

I could see how commitment and marriage wouldn't necessarily be connected, but commitment and monogamy? Isn't the whole idea of monogamy to commit to one person?

 

[Wwanderer]

Everyone is being so dramatic with the whole "sex workers can't control their spending and they do sex work because they don't have a choice" thing. I can see where those judgements are comming from, certainly your standard oppai club or pinksalon girl in Japan is pressed for cash. And of course there is this traditional western view of women who don't see another way. But i think in modern society there is a growing number of confident women with a passion for their job, and good reasons to work hard and make bank and have a future.

Since my sexuality started to develop i have always loved the concept of sex work, and just like going to Japan, the reality was even BETTER than i could imagine. The sweet seduction game makes about everything that i have been shunned for (sexy clothes, intense look in my eyes, sleazy smile) a positive point.
By having a killer body without putting time and attention into it, having youth by my side and having the exotic look down after moving to the other side of the world, i feel like i have everything going for me.
It reflects in my clientele. I thought guys would be cold but the MAJORITY of guys i meet are mesmerized by me and carry me on their hands. I thought i would feel used but i have never felt more adored, more loved. I'm assured the connection i have with my clients is real. This can indeed be threatening to a partner, but i do believe in commitment and i think a confident man would trust in me to aways but h first and come back to him. I believe i have enough love to give.

This rush that escorting gives me is something thats far more important to me than money. Do i believe i'm a perfect goddess or something? Not really. But with getting caught up in a game of love, lust, friendship and passion for life, any woman can be a goddess, which is why there are providers with all kinds of looks and from all walks of life. Our job is to adore and be adored and to create a chemistry that makes us rise up from the ground!

Although money doesn't come first for me, it's essential for me to charge to make a selection, make the game more intense (because any game becomes more intense when we play it for money!) and most importantly to secure my future.
I'll admit that i'm no investment tycoon and that i can make mistakes and may not always optimize my savings.
But i'm not a person who throws money around or spends money she doesn't have. I like the finer things in life and have a work hard, play hard mentality, but i'm a person for savings, not a person for depts.

And which guy wouldn't like a woman who can earn well by herself and still have time for him? If you don't want a woman with an escort's salary and talents, you're the one missing out, not her.

Wow! Quite aside from the parts about marrying/dating sex workers, the above is a fantastic manifesto describing the attitude toward sex work that separates the truly great p4p partners from the more ordinary ones (not to say that they are bad or low quality).

All of the stuff about how you feel about your work and the satisfaction you find in doing it would be a great OP for a thread of its own imo. @MissInsomnia seemed to allude to similar issues in her brief post above:

https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads...worker-a-second-look.16658/page-2#post-136427

And among the sex workers, especially indie escorts, I have known, my impression is that their motivations and feelings about the work vary widely and are often VERY different from the stereotypes portrayed in fiction and by the media...and expressed in some of the posts by guys above. Of course some SWs fit into those stereotypes but exceptions are extremely common I think.

@User#8628 - You got one thing wrong above, imo. I've seen a large number of smiles on your face but never a "sleazy" one, erotic or lascivious or sexy or simply cute ones for sure...but never sleazy.

-Ww

 

[User#22664]

It's been a long week and I am a bit shattered, but I feel @TAG Manager has suffered a lot more than all of us of late. If he started this thread it is because he is looking for some input on the topic and to help him feel the love, here are my (sleep-deprived) thoughts on the subject. Dating or being married to a sex worker, is possible for me but not something I ever expect to happen. Why? Pure statistics, it's highly unlikely that I would be in a situation where I would start dating a sex worker. They're just a very small percentage of the population and my long-term relationships tend to be via friends of friends, none of whom are in the business (to my knowledge).
Now, that is not particularly helpful to the debate. So to answer the question, could you handle it? Hopefully, yes. However this comes with a lot of caveats.Firstly, talking about something is very different from doing it. It is possible some kind of "white-knight" complex might rear it's ugly head and I would feel the need to "save" the provider. Who knows.
So, what do I think it would take to make it work? Pretty much the same as any relationship. Honesty and trust. Honesty between each other but also honesty with one's self. I thought @User#8628's post was very honest and shows a lot of self-awareness. Who she is (as a person), why she works in this biz and the benefits (not only financial) she derives. And the honesty that the kind of guy she wants would understand those benefits and not want her to stop. That kind of honesty builds trust and it's what I need to fall in love with someone (falling in lust is a lot easier). Beyond that, you need shared or compatible goals for the long-term and the "x factor". Some kind of chemistry that makes you feel that your partner is too good for you and makes you strive to be a better person to close that gap. Incidentally, both people should feel that, if only one feels "lucky" to be in the relationship with the other it makes things unbalanced and tends to make things tough (building resentment) longer-term. That points to one big danger for providers (amply shown by some contributors here) that some people clearly feel they are "better" than providers.
Otherwise, sounds like it is easy...well, yeah if you ignore other people! The reality is that society has prejudices that are passed on to people and that complicates matters. People, maybe even your friends and family may judge. Could that be a deal-breaker? No more than it should have been for an interracial couple decades ago (maybe even today in some places). It's not insurmountable. However, the reality is, because of society, you both have to be mentally strong to allow the relationship to survive (and thrive). Either if you want to be open and honest about the provider's background or because you decide to "cover it up" to avoid societal judgement.
To close - are there happy (ever after) endings for couples where one is/was a provider? Yes - albeit I only have a sample size of one and it doesn't quite fit my narrative above because she quit when they got married. I know a guy who married a provider he met in Thailand. They've been together 20 years, I don't think it was easy initially, but today they have 3 children and are happily integrated into their local (quite rural) community. They have all the elements (honesty, trust, believe the other is better than them, shared goals, etc.) I mentioned above and I admire their relationship a lot more than the majority of married couples I know.

 

[BankerguyCanada]

I dated a korean SP here in Toronto for two years. I met her at a jayz concert haha

Once we got a bit close and knew that we liked eachother, She was straight up with me about her line of work and i was okay with it ..or tried to be....other times id get hit with huuuge jealousy feelings.. they would come and go. 2 years is a long time. She moved in with me for 6 months so we were really close. After about a year of fighting jealousy feelings i sort of just accepted it. I think it took a year for me to fall in love with her. But once i did, the jealousy stopped... because at that point i trusted her and only cared that she was happy and well.

Things didnt work out (for other reasons) and thats okay... we are still friends.

 

[Troilist]

Paging @Troilist

I would not be closed off to any opportunity because of a label. Whether or not I pursue anything further is another story, but I would at least strongly consider any intriguing option before dismissing it. If I look introspectively, the reasons for avoiding personal relationships with a SW would be because of insecurity and because of placing significance and meaning into something that is simply someone's personal choice. If they are at peace with themselves with what they are doing, who am I to judge their choices. Each individual is unique and beautiful in their own way and being in the SW industry doesn't make someone any less of a human being. Everyone has the opportunity to love and be loved regardless of the profession they choose for themselves. Also, everyone is entitled to have their own opinions, beliefs, and tolerance regardless of what side they may be on without feeling judged. I would never stop myself from connecting with anyone whether as a friend, lover, sexual partner or life partner based on their past or current circumstances.

If there is a strong connection, I would have no problem dating or marrying anyone who chooses to work as a SW, if it's something they genuinely enjoy and want to continue to do. This doesn't mean my view will stay the same forever. As we all experience personal growth throughout life, all relationships also go through a similar change and growth over time. To me, the most important aspect in all healthy relationships is having the space where everyone can communicate freely and honestly without fear of judgment or being made wrong. This is achieved by putting aside our own ego, and by communicating in a way where we only have our partner's best interest at heart. Even if the solution is to part ways and end the relationship, you will still have the experience of mutual love and respect for one another.

I have doubts in general about the efficacy of 'open relationships' where couples screw whomever they feel like and go to orgies together and whatnot. To love each other exclusively but be non-exclusive with sex is a recipe for trouble IMO. Maybe some people can pull it off, but I dont think these relationships are very stable and I think one participant is usually coerced into going along with it. They are unhappy with it but they are doing it because it is better than breaking up. It is portrayed in the media and popular entertainment as a progressive and enlightened way to live, but I think this is just more Holllywood BS. Most heterosexual human beings are not psychologically wired this way. At some point we want a monogamous life partner that is emotionally and sexually exclusive. I have to think this is a Darwinian influence: natural selection created this psychological need to support successful raising of offspring and the continued success of the species. Gays however seem to be a bit different. Since most do not seem to be into procreating and having families (in my observation anyway) they seem to be more comfortable with having a steady partner but also having sex partners on the side, having orgies and so forth. I envy this. I wish it worked for me, but I am heterosexual.

Let me be clear, being in this lifestyle with my husband takes a lot of love, trust, self confidence, respect, and communication. We have been happily married for 17 years and have been partaking in p4p the last four years. When the idea first came up, there was nothing wrong or missing with our marriage. We saw this as an opportunity to have fun and add some adventures to our marriage. He did not coerce or pressure me in any way. It was 100 percent a mutual decision in exploring this particular lifestyle. I must be honest, things like jealousy and the topic of boundaries did show up for the both of us in the beginning, but since our marriage is always our number priority and we are big on honest communication, it was easy for us to work through our own insecurities. We are very specific on who we ask to join us. For us, it's not just about the physical aspect of the play, we truly enjoy connecting and getting to know the person we are with. Our main goal is to really make sure that everyone, including the provider, will have fun, feel comfortable, and enjoy the experience. We also view the person who is with us as a contributor to our marriage and for that, we are grateful for that they chose to spend time with us.

I have met and connected with some incredible ladies throughout the years. Some have become really close friends of mine in my personal life. Many of the ladies we have seen are highly intelligent, have a plan for their future, and view working as a SW as something they enjoy and money is not their first priority when seeing a client. We have had incredible experiences with many ladies we have seen throughout the years. Some have been genuinely emotional, mental, purely physical and even spiritual connections.

So if you ask me if two people can be happily married and fully committed to each other and still partake in p4p. My answer is "HELL YES!!"

 

[hkAlone]

This topic is either theoretical or very personal.
For me it turned to be very personal many years ago.

Falling in love for a sex worker may indeed happen if you have a very good connection with her. You usually get attracted by the "persona" but the real feelings happen when you open the books.

What happens next. I would consider myself as a liberal open minded person who is constantly working on himself. For the relationship to work, she should either stop working (which sounds like an unfair demand if she's enjoying her activity, feeling independent thanks to it an if you cannot compensate the income) or you have to work on your own insecurities and accept that "this is just a job".

On the plus side, your partner knows men quite well including yourself which could be healthy as you don't have to spend your life lying about your desires. Assuming your desires doesn't mean you have to spend less time to make her feel secured. Quite the opposite. She / you can fuck around but remind each other how much they matter to you everyday.

The awkward moments happen when you had great sex with intense emotions and your gf goes to an appointment straight after or when you know she's not in the mood to have sex with any stranger due to some personal issue.
95% of the time you simply forget you are dating a sex worker and just focus on the person itself. She's just the woman you love. The remaining 5% of the time can be seen as an opportunity to better know yourself.

The germ phobia is complete BS. Sex workers are tested regularly and you can trust your partner to take precautions. You are still vaguely exposed to minor STDs but in this case get vaccined or get tested regularly too for early treatment.
If you are anxious with that, you simply have anxiety disorder of your own. The only time I got infected in my life (chlamydia) was with a regular partner who was not a sex worker and waited many years before getting tested. It took two weeks treatment to get rid of it on both sides.

Anyway, it is not that easy but in any case an opportunity for self discovery and question in an original way what defines an healthy relationship. I guess if you go through the first two years passion, the relationship should be easier (theoretical guess).