Do You Believe That A Person Can Be Out Of Your League?

[User#18046]

Because this concept of "out of my league" is a generalization, but humans are different and every situation is unique, then the argument could be made that the concept of out of my league does not really exist in the real world. But the generalization is there because certain large categories of women are, statistically speaking, unavailable to me in spite of the outliers who may have different attitudes from their peers. The more options a person has, the more picky they can be. So a woman who has hundreds of men interested in her can look for a guy that meets all her criteria in whatever order: looks, money, personality, religious preference, etc. Women who fall into that category could be generally assumed to be out of the league of a man who has only one or two of those attributes, though he may stand a chance with a statistically insignificant number of that group's population who prioritize his strengths over his shortcomings.

In addition to the first runner up miss USA that I dated back in the 1980s, I have dated a rather surprising number of women that I would ordinarily consider to be out of my league. Certainly my friends considered them out of my league. For the reasons I put in my first post of this thread, those relationships were not ultimately successful. So in the end, they were out of my league even if I was able to overcome initial hurdles and date them for a short time.

 

[e-smile]

The more options a person has, the more picky they can be. So a woman who has hundreds of men interested in her can look for a guy that meets all her criteria in whatever order: looks, money, personality, religious preference, etc.

that is theoretically true but many of the suitable guys don't have the guts to approach them
also women are also impressionable with self confidence.

 

[Pansexual latina]

I feel like from a womans prespective it is much harder to get with someone out of your league. I am not busty and i am chubby, even when i am thinner i still have a very curvy body. [Like https://www.instagram.com/nlhfit/] I can say i have a cute face but i am almost exclusively approached by african american and latino men.[Not that i mind] I have a demographic so to speak P: and those out of league guys go for taller thin busty women.

 

[Wwanderer]

nobody is out of anybody's league unless they believe they are.

Precisely so imo.

Speaking in vague generalizations which surely have many exceptions, as we are, I would put it this way:

There are things we believe because they are true, and there are things that are true because we believe them. Imo, "out of my league" is primarily in the latter category.

-Ww

 

[User#6517]

I feel like from a womans prespective it is much harder to get with someone out of your league. I am not busty and i am chubby, even when i am thinner i still have a very curvy body. [Like https://www.instagram.com/nlhfit/] I can say i have a cute face but i am almost exclusively approached by african american and latino men.[Not that i mind] I have a demographic so to speak P: and those out of league guys go for taller thin busty women.

I share the same feelings.

I also follow Nicole's account and she's beautiful, but I'm not super curvy like she is. She doesn't have much of a tummy. You're so lucky to have a body like that!

The men who have complimented me the most were black American men, Latinos, Indians, and Middle-Eastern men.. and the men who have rejected me the most were white and Asian men.. so I do feel like I have a demographic as well.

 

[Wwanderer]

In addition to the first runner up miss USA that I dated back in the 1980s, I have dated a rather surprising number of women that I would ordinarily consider to be out of my league. Certainly my friends considered them out of my league. For the reasons I put in my first post of this thread, those relationships were not ultimately successful. So in the end, they were out of my league even if I was able to overcome initial hurdles and date them for a short time.

You appear to be defining/regarding a relationship that ends as an unsuccessful one. If so, I have a fundamentally different view of relationship success than you. If you are glad a relationship happened, you should think of it as a win imo. As the good doctor tells us, "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."

We are all talking/generalizing...over-generalizing no doubt...from our personal experiences. In that context I must report that my life has been filled to overflowing by relationships with fantastic women, a series of connections that have enriched my life and brought me so much fun and joy that I would need NED-like writing skills to even start expressing it. None of these women were out of my league in my opinion, but I think pretty nearly all of them would be so classified by a large majority of people.

It would be hard for me to exaggerate how important one's concept of oneself is in determining the reactions other people have to you. It is second only to how you conceive of the other person in a relationship.

-Ww

 

[User#8628]

I do think people have very different types. I personally rather wouldn't want to date someone who is at the same "level" of handsome as me if his appearance is not what i am into, even if he's considered very conventionally attractive.

Also people bring a various amound of things to the table except their looks. For example financial stability, intelligence, talent, passion, humor, a good heart... Those things may be not visible instantly but they may weight more than looks in the end. One particular book that i really enjoyed reading was about a girl who tried to become hollywood famous but she did not have talent and looked ordinary. It was really embarrassing to her and the whole book you learn how she fails to be on the same level of other talented people, but the message behind the story is that in her heart she is a much better person than the snobs actually getting to fame and laughing at her for her attempts.

And also for dating, men and women often have different goals, and that counts big time.
Say that i am ready to settle down for example, and there are a 100 good looking guys who want to sleep with me, but one average looking guy who is ready for marriage and children. I wouldn't want to waste my time trying to convince guys who are not serious if there is someone who wants to play the same game as me.
Or what if for example only open relationships work well for me, and i meet some guys who'd make fantastic partners but they are mono as fuck and have old fashioned house values. And then there is a guy who wants from life and relationships the same as me. Who would i date? So many relationships fail because people have different expectations of them. Its more important to find someone who is compatible to you in life choices than in looks.

 

[Pansexual latina]

I share the same feelings.

I also follow Nicole's account and she's beautiful, but I'm not super curvy like she is. She doesn't have much of a tummy. You're so lucky to have a body like that!

The men who have complimented me the most were black American men, Latinos, Indians, and Middle-Eastern men.. and the men who have rejected me the most were white and Asian men.. so I do feel like I have a demographic as well.

Only when i was thinner now im fat xD. I have had one half asian ask me out on a date and thats cause he wanted to "try out" a thick chick =_= that was the worst [cause a date at disney is inappropriate as casual hookup was the intention.] I also had my longtime viet friend who admitted he wanted to date me ages ago but we were young and LDR was out of the question. That's it. Lol

 

[Wwanderer]

Its more important to find someone who is compatible to you in life choices than in looks.

This.

-Ww

 

[Pansexual latina]

Its more important to find someone who is compatible to you in life choices than in looks.

While i totally agree;
First impressions ,which are judgements made by looks and types especially towards women are the determining factor wether or not you even get the chance for your personality to shine. Also physical attraction plays a part wether we like it or not in a relationship, you cant fuck someone you dont find physically attractive on the daily.

 

[User#8628]

While i totally agree;
First impressions ,which are judgements made by looks and types especially towards women are the determining factor wether or not you even get the chance for your personality to shine. Also physical attraction plays a part wether we like it or not in a relationship, you cant fuck someone you dont find physically attractive on the daily.

Thats true about physical attractiveness but different people have different types, who dont always look the same as them. Like a popular, sporty boy can be into nerdy girls for example.

 

[User#18046]

While i totally agree;
First impressions ,which are judgements made by looks and types especially towards women are the determining factor wether or not you even get the chance for your personality to shine. Also physical attraction plays a part wether we like it or not in a relationship, you cant fuck someone you dont find physically attractive on the daily.

This first impressions reason is why, when I have dated women categorized by my friends (and my internal dialogue) as out of my league, they have never been pick ups. They have always been women that I worked around or who were my friend's sister (in the case of Miss USA) etc. who I would spend seven or eight months around wearing them down with my personality.

 

[Frenchy]

you cant fuck someone you dont find physically attractive on the daily.

Well, that is debatable. Many people (and not just p4p pros) can... whether they like it or not is a different issue

 

[Wwanderer]

I would spend seven or eight months around wearing them down with my personality.

Your music might well have worked more quickly! And I don't mean that as a burn on your personality.

-Ww

 

[User#18046]

Your music might well have worked more quickly! And I don't mean that as a burn on your personality.

-Ww

Ugly musicians only get the girl when they are legit rock stars.

 

[Frenchy]

Your music might well have worked more quickly! And I don't mean that as a burn on your personality.

-Ww

True! Ladies love guitarists (well except maybe in very loud punk-rock bands , if they are more into stuff like Santana)

 

[User#18046]

Well, that is debatable. Many people (and not just p4p pros) can... whether they like it or not is a different issue

I agree, but perhaps I am a bit odd. I have really had great sex with women who are not traditionally physically attractive (which includes to me) but who were exciting to me because they are fun, interesting ladies. It was interesting to be with a woman like that in a sexual context, even more so because she wasn't someone I would have normally thought of in that context. If that makes any sense at all.

Plus it is important to me in those circumstances to make a woman feel special and beautiful, and sometimes that is more rewarding with a woman who doesn't usually feel that way.

 

[Wwanderer]

I agree, but perhaps I am a bit odd. I have really had great sex with women who are not traditionally physically attractive (which includes to me) but who were exciting to me because they are fun, interesting ladies. It was interesting to be with a woman like that in a sexual context, even more so because she wasn't someone I would have normally thought of in that context. If that makes any sense at all.

Plus it is important to me in those circumstances to make a woman feel special and beautiful, and sometimes that is more rewarding with a woman who doesn't usually feel that way.

I bet these are women who do not believe you are out of their leagues...

-Ww

 

[User#18046]

I bet these are women who do not believe you are out of their leagues...

-Ww

Interesting point. I've never even considered that I could be out of anyone's league. It doesn't jibe with my self-image.

 

[User#18046]

I bet these are women who do not believe you are out of their leagues...

-Ww

Hey wait...

Are we learning something here? Is this a learning thread???

 

[Pansexual latina]

I also follow Nicole's account and she's beautiful

I have an addiction to following pretty women on ig....

 

[Wwanderer]

Are we learning something here? Is this a learning thread???

Shhhh! You're gonna spoil it if people find out!

-Ww

 

[Frenchy]

I agree, but perhaps I am a bit odd. I have really had great sex with women who are not traditionally physically attractive (which includes to me) but who were exciting to me because they are fun, interesting ladies. It was interesting to be with a woman like that in a sexual context, even more so because she wasn't someone I would have normally thought of in that context. If that makes any sense at all.

Plus it is important to me in those circumstances to make a woman feel special and beautiful, and sometimes that is more rewarding with a woman who doesn't usually feel that way.

That makes total sense as i did the same and honestly it was often much better than with the bombshells with whom you may walk on eggshells. If i may use this very stupid pun.

 

[TheScientist]

Ugly musicians only get the girl when they are legit rock stars.

Except us bass players, we can be ugly as sin but women notice our big hands...

 

[Jbagz]

As the good doctor tells us, "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."


-Ww

That would be Dr. Seuss!

I have long said that the complete works of Dr. Seuss would serve civilization much better as a reference source for morals and wisdom than the ancient texts of Christianity, Judaism and Islam.

However, if I were to use my magic powers to make it so, I'd be willing to wager after 1000 years there would be sects of people who derived strange dietary restrictions from Green Eggs and Ham, while others would be insisting that the Tweetel Beetle Battle be taught as history.