Do You Believe That A Person Can Be Out Of Your League?

Jbagz said:
That would be Dr. Seuss!

I have long said that the complete works of Dr. Seuss would serve civilization much better as a reference source for morals and wisdom than the ancient texts of Christianity, Judaism and Islam.

However, if I were to use my magic powers to make it so, I'd be willing to wager after 1000 years there would be sects of people who derived strange dietary restrictions from Green Eggs and Ham, while others would be insisting that the Tweetel Beetle Battle be taught as history.
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Off topic but did Dr. Seuss really hate Japan? I think i've heard something like that.

I'm tempted to watch "how the gritch stole Christmas" but i never really got to it. I remember a lot time ago, some kids made fun of me because i confused that movie with "the grudge".
 
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User#8628 said:
Off topic but did Dr. Seuss really hate Japan? I think i've heard something like that.
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I'e never read anything to support him having any personal hatred of Japan but he did work for the US Govt during the war producing propaganda materials. Then again so did many others such as Walt Disney, Mel Blanc, Ted Avery and many Hollywood stars. That does not make any of them "racist" in any sense of the word, that was the need/condition of the time.
 
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TheScientist said:
I'e never read anything to support him having any personal hatred of Japan but he did work for the US Govt during the war producing propaganda materials. Then again so did many others such as Walt Disney, Mel Blanc, Ted Avery and many Hollywood stars. That does not make any of them "racist" in any sense of the word, that was the need/condition of the time.
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Yes, i can understand that being natural in war time.
The Japanese surely don't seem to hold it against them.
 
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Not Even Dave said:
Cartoons from that era were shockingly racist by today's standards, and not just toward wartime enemies.
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Yes and no. What the PC Objectionists tend to forget was that cartoons from this era were also a medium for national audiences to experience the works of Cab Calloway and other Black performers of the Jazz era. As for the visual depiction of Blacks or Asians, thats a mixed bag of what is now clearly understood as unintentional or systemic racism and also just standards of the times.
 
Yes.
Generally speaking as a male you have to fall into two of three categories to attract someone outside of your league (Money/Stability, Good Looks, Humor.) If you're stuck with only one of these I think you'd have a hard time to maintain a relationship with someone outside of your league, just because women have so many options these days. Obviously there are exceptions to these rules, but generally i think this is true.
 
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User#8628 said:
Off topic but did Dr. Seuss really hate Japan? I think i've heard something like that.

I'm tempted to watch "how the gritch stole Christmas" but i never really got to it. I remember a lot time ago, some kids made fun of me because i confused that movie with "the grudge".
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I had never heard that, but I just read his bio on Wiki and it seems he produced two documentary type films about Japan. One called "Our Job in Japan" was made for the US War Department and was a training film for US troops coming to Japan during the occupation.

It dealt with the challenges of turning a militaristic society into a democracy. The other film was a commercially released version of the first called "Design for Death" that was released in 1948. It won an Academy Award and was apparently very popular.

I'm sure it rubbed more than a few Japanese people the wrong way back in 1948 since it was critical of the Shinto belief system. No doubt that is probably the basis for someone telling you the he hated Japan.

I never knew that about Dr. Seuss and I'm glad you asked.

If you ever have the chance to read a Dr. Seuss book to a child, I highly recommend that you do it.

You and the child will certainly enjoy it.
 
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RoboReptar said:
Yes.
Generally speaking as a male you have to fall into two of three categories to attract someone outside of your league (Money/Stability, Good Looks, Humor.) If you're stuck with only one of these I think you'd have a hard time to maintain a relationship with someone outside of your league, just because women have so many options these days. Obviously there are exceptions to these rules, but generally i think this is true.
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Thank you for putting it so bluntly!

Social classes do exist, they aren't imaginary.

That isn't to say that there is no social mobility. People can and do move between social classes.
 
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There are definitely a lot of woman out of my league lookswise, especially among those that I'm interested in, but that is something one can work around (sometimes). But it's much harder if someone is financially or socially (which almost always would be somehow linked to money) out of your league. A lack of looks you might be able to compensate with humor, being smart or whatever, but if you lack the money to go to the same places they do, you won't end up in a situation to walk up to the girl like @Sudsy 's friend did. For good looking woman it's of course a little bit different, as it's much more common for guys, especially wealthy ones, to invite.
 
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In @Sudsy 's story, the other guys were intimidated and his friend was the one that charged in. In pretty much every instance I have dated a woman who was "above my station" it has been the opposite for me. All the other guys were hound dogging around them, and I hung back and treated them like a normal person. I'm pretty goofy, and not very attractive, so I think women find me non-threatening. That gave me a chance to be friends with them, sometimes having to endure listening to them tell me their boy problems. And then eventually, I became that less good looking lead role in every RomCom that was "right under their nose the whole time."

But after those movies end, the hot, popular lead gets bored with the quiet, nerdy best friend and we end up on the trash heap for no better reason than we weren't the type of jerk they usually date.

But I'm not bitter or anything. :mad:
 
Pansexual latina said:
I feel like from a womans prespective it is much harder to get with someone out of your league. I am not busty and i am chubby, even when i am thinner i still have a very curvy body. [Like https://www.instagram.com/nlhfit/] I can say i have a cute face but i am almost exclusively approached by african american and latino men.[Not that i mind] I have a demographic so to speak P: and those out of league guys go for taller thin busty women.
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that's something different, there are types you prefer over others and it's the same for men. it's not a vertical classification, for example some girls like hairy guys and some really don't like body hair on their partners.
 
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e-smile said:
that's something different, there are types you prefer over others and it's the same for men. it's not a vertical classification, for example some girls like hairy guys and some really don't like body hair on their partners.
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I don't know, though, is that really what we're talking about when we say "out of my league"? Or is that just personal preference? To me, "He only likes blondes" doesn't mean he's out of brunette's league. To me, out of my league means past a certain point on the 1-10 looks scale, or a wealth/social status metric, or a member of a traditionally elite group, like cheerleaders or flight attendants. N'est pas?
 
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Not Even Dave said:
I don't know, though, is that really what we're talking about when we say "out of my league"? Or is that just personal preference? To me, "He only likes blondes" doesn't mean he's out of brunette's league. To me, out of my league means past a certain point on the 1-10 looks scale, or a wealth/social status metric, or a member of a traditionally elite group, like cheerleaders or flight attendants. N'est pas?
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I've always seen "out of my league" as "too good for me"
the "not my type" is something different.

now "my league" isn't something fixed in time. the same person can upgrade or downgrade physically, economically or mentally (self confidence included). there is also a margin for bargain, you can convince a girl you're in a higher league than you think you really are and you can also overrate the girl's league.

that's why just like in JJ's show I can say I'm a 5 who have been with girls from 3 to 7. :D
 
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I'll admit confidence matters quite a bit, it seems. Quick story, then I'm out. I was a stockbroker back in 1987 (yes, yes, I'm old, I get it) in one of those Wolf of Wall Street type companies operating on the fringes of the law. That process was a numbers game: call 400 people per day, get 15 prospects per 400 calls, close 7 of 15 prospects. You didn't have to be smart or even particularly awake, just read the script. The numbers worked. So, I decided to try it on dating, which was an area I had been woefully poor at (and this was right after my divorce from my first wife). I decided to ask out damn near every woman I found remotely attractive. I figured 400 asks would get me 15 dates and 7 into bed. But since it was a social experiment to me, I wasn't emotionally invested in it. So, when I asked, I think they picked up that I didn't care if they said yes or no, which came across as confidence. In any case, the first five women I asked, which included low-percentage plays like a bank teller and two waitresses all at their work, and a woman in the supermarket (customer), all said yes. I pretty much stopped the experiment because 5 yes answers up front derailed it.

For the record, none had sex with me and none had a second date. But that, mein freund, is another story altogether.
 
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e-smile said:
that's something different, there are types you prefer over others and it's the same for men. it's not a vertical classification, for example some girls like hairy guys and some really don't like body hair on their partners.
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Bodyhair is something changeable, hair color is changeable even weight is something that can be changed[ maybe not exactly to a strict preference] but we cant change our bodytype nor our race which plays a huge factor x.x their type is somewhat subjective but female beauty standards in each culture also play a big role
 
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Pansexual latina said:
Bodyhair is something changeable, hair color is changeable even weight is something that can be changed[ maybe not exactly to a strict preference] but we cant change our bodytype nor our race which plays a huge factor x.x their type is somewhat subjective but female beauty standards in each culture also play a big role
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indeed.
 
Jbagz said:
Thank you for putting it so bluntly!

Social classes do exist, they aren't imaginary.

That isn't to say that there is no social mobility. People can and do move between social classes.
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Fwiiw, I still don't buy the view that "out of my league" = "in a higher social class than me".

The first and foremost implication of "out of my league" is someone who is more physically/sexually attractive than me, especially when the phrase is used in dating/relationship contexts (mostly what we are discussing here). However, physical/sexual attractiveness is not even a particularly important factor in determining social class. High and low status social groups all have their (roughly equal) shares of hotties and not-so-hotties, male and female. Moreover, factors like wealth, profession, accomplishments, intellectual sophistication, world travel, family background...all trump appearance and attractiveness in determining social class.

-Ww
 
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Wwanderer said:
Fwiiw, I still don't buy the view that "out of my league" = "in a higher social class than me".

The first and foremost implication of "out of my league" is someone who is more physically/sexually attractive than me, especially when the phrase is used in dating/relationship contexts (mostly what we are discussing here). However, physical/sexual attractiveness is not even a particularly important factor in determining social class. High and low status social groups all have their (roughly equal) shares of hotties and not-so-hotties, male and female. Moreover, factors like wealth, profession, accomplishments, intellectual sophistication, world travel, family background...all trump appearance and attractiveness in determining social class.

-Ww
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I'm not a native English speaker, however for me out of my league has a much broader range of application. That could be in many sports contexts, that could be intelligence or education etc. and of course appearance too. Basically anything, where you compare and rank and eventually compete.

In dating appearance might be one major factor, but by far not the only one. Appearance is very likely the most common reason, why guys think a girl is out of their league, but surely not the only one.

The original question wasn't restricted to appearance afaik in so far social circles may be a viable answer as to why someone is supposedly out of reach.
 
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RandomTokyoGuy said:
I'm not a native English speaker, however for me out of my league has a much broader range of application. That could be in many sports contexts, that could be intelligence or education etc. and of course appearance too. Basically anything, where you compare and rank and eventually compete.
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Your English is really excellent, and you are quite right that the phrase can be used in different contexts. For example, I could say something like, "That guy is one helluva rounder, completely out of my league!" and it means that he is so much better than me at poker that I couldn't hope to compete with him. But in those usages too, "out of my league" does not *generally* mean the same thing as "not in my social class" as I understood @Jbagz and some others to be claiming. My example makes it obvious (intentionally); ability to play poker is not a significant element of social class.

In dating appearance might be one major factor, but by far not the only one. Appearance is very likely the most common reason, why guys think a girl is out of their league, but surely not the only one.
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I agree with everything you say in the quote immediately above, and I even agree that social class can be a reason someone might regard another as "out of their league" for dating purposes...happens fairly often in fact. But that doesn't mean "out of my league" always or mostly means "in a higher social class than me".

As far as I can see, the issue also doesn't have much to do with "social mobility" as I again understand @Jbagz to be claiming. For example, if a sizzling hot 30-something guy who has done nothing with his life since high school except work as a waiter at a long series of downscale restaurants and spend his leisure time mostly drinking beer, partying and watching sports on TV manages to date a rather plain looking 30-something socialite from a wealthy family who has just completed law school and a celebratory 6-month long world tour before taking up a partner-track position with a big name NYC law firm, it does not mean either of them have changed their social class. All the other elements of social class are far more important than who they are dating.

The original question wasn't restricted to appearance afaik in so far social circles may be a viable answer as to why someone is supposedly out of reach.
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The OP didn't even specify a dating dating context, to be sure, but given that it was on TAG and perhaps because @Not Even Dave has recently been posting about dating women out of his league in terms of appearance (in other threads), I assumed (perhaps incorrectly) that we were primarily talking about appearance and dating here.

However, no matter the context, I don't think that "out of my league" is really all that close to meaning the same thing as "of a higher social class than me" even though ***some*** of the same factors affect both concepts; others are quite different.

Sorry to belabor this point at such length, but I think the discussion got pretty muddy and confused when it started conflating "league" with "social class".

-Ww
 
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