Here's the thing about this. Between all the guys who have engaged in nanpa, we learn often that typical Japanese indirectness can be overcome through endurance. Most of the time when Japanese girls are approached, they're not rejecting the guy, they're rejecting the idea of men in the moment, much in the same way that when I reject the tissue paper at the station, I'm not rejecting the person handing it to me, I'm rejecting the idea of a bump in my routine. Bumps aren't always bad, yet the other thing is, if a tissue person changed their routine by doing something different, I'd be more inclined to pay attention. If they started dancing in the middle of the sidewalk and handing people tissue as part of their routine for example, I'd pay attention, and I think most everyone here might even entertain that rather than the half-hearted "Onegaishimasu!" we get right now. We, as humans, filter out normalcy through our daily routines. The extraordinary however, is different.
When barriers are endured, or even vaulted over by an extraordinary guy and the girl starts to see rather than some guy who's bumping her daily routine, the guy in front of her for who he really is, and she typically gets interested. Many girls who ignore initial approaches are not rejecting the guy even, they're testing him to see if he's a good conversationalist; seeing if he's worth her time. So the guy endures the test and girl opens up and has a conversation. We've had girls tell us that this is exactly what they're doing. We've had girls where we approach them and they give passive aggressive rejections "I don't speak English," then I switch to Japanese and they're blown away and we have a good conversation. We've had girls "I'm meeting my boyfriend," as a response, yet as you could see in one of Sinapse's posts, the gamer endured, ended up getting the girl out on a date and sleeping with her, only to have her disclose that she lied about meeting "a boyfriend." You can see that we're rewarded through perseverance in a good percentage of our encounters. In each of the above instances, the girls gave indirect hurdles, not refusals. What's the message we get from these interactions?
If you really want to be left alone at a coffee shop, give straight refusals. be firm yet cordial. Or if you really want to ensure that the guy leaves, be a supreme bitch in your refusal. I'd say most guys will just leave it there since you've demonstrated you're not the kind of girl they're looking for. However, assuming that because you don't like something, or rather a small clique of a few women on an internet forum don't like something is not representative of even a fraction of a percentage of women. I'd say the thousands of women every day who go home with a guy they met off the streets speaks volumes louder. Of course, you can do whatever mental gymnastics you want to explain their actions away, and quite frankly, as long as nanpa remains legal in society, you're going to keep getting inconvenienced for the 5-10 seconds it takes to tell a guy to fuck off.
Okay, I think you're completely missing the point of what PUA is about. Guys who approach girls do not feel they're entitled. In fact, most of us have accepted the reality that no one owes us anything. We throw ourselves out there, and if a girl likes what she sees and responds, great; if not, we move on. There is no entitlement, girls don't owe us their time, we're trying to earn a girl's time much in the way a sales call is trying to earn your time when you hear that first sentence on the phone.
What you are saying though does seem like you're saying that girls are entitled to solidarity when they're in public. I find this to be ridiculous. You are no more entitled to solidarity than I am to those annoying fucks passing out tissue at the station, those persistent guys at every station trying to get me to sign a petition, the slimeball Nigerian touts trying to pull me into their rip off strip clubs. You are entitled to protection under the law of the country you're in, and there are no anti-nanpa laws in Japan. It's pretty entitled to think you're entitled to things just because you don't like them. Societies can't function like that. I'd say about 1/3 of girls I've opened have been open to being talked to, yet, because it makes YOU feel annoyed, they should be deprived of their opportunities.
You say go to places that's appropriate? I've met tons of girls who go to places like Harajuku, Shibuya's Center-gai, etc and just slow walking around there doing nothing in particular for the expressed purpose of getting picked up. How can you say that a place some girls go to get picked up is not an appropriate place? Moreover, the quality of relationship I get from having a conversation in a coffee shop, or on the streets of Harajuku are much deeper and pure than those I've had in clubs. The quality, long term relationships I've built on the streets pale those of girls I've met at clubs and bars. Most girls at clubs and bars are looking for one night stands. That's not what I'm looking for. What's more, there's no chance to actually get to know the girl in detail at the bar, and often when I meet a girl drunk, her personality changes wildly when I do meet her again later on a date when she's sober. That's not the girl I picked up in a bar and brought out for a date. Compared to meeting a girl in her natural state on the streets, getting to know the real her, then experiencing her when she's drunk and having fun? That's a deeper connection to who she is as a person.
I find this insulting to both men and women who engage in any kind of street approaches. I've said this dozens of times, game is nothing more than a tool which can be used for different goals. Spoiler alert, for most guys who have any kind of abundance of sex, sex is boring as hell. What's more important is the emotional connection from sharing a beautiful moment with a girl. I'm sorry, escorts have never come even close to matching this, at least in my personal experience. The worst lays I've ever had from PUA girls trumps the most mind-blowing sex I've had with escorts because of that emotional connection. When I've used P4P places, it's strictly physical pleasure and a business transaction. Going to a soapland is like getting a premium massage from a masseuse for me. I'd take a night with a significant other, or even a girl I've spent 2 hours talking to on the streets if I was looking for a more satisfying pay off.
Escorts in no way fulfill this need, and I think it's disgusting as hell to the girls I've picked up off the streets to compare that connection we shared to that of an escort.
@Sinapse has said this before too. The two hours we spend with girls is of intense quality. I was with a group of 5 girls from the street, just going around doing stuff together talking the whole time. After a couple hours, they felt like they had known me all their life, like I was a childhood friend to them. It was a real, pure, and uncensored interaction. You're telling me that an escort can provide a comparable experience? Not the ones I've met, not even close.
Your post makes sense if you assume that all approaches are for the express purpose of sex, but more often than not, most of us are in it for much more than just a place to cum. We can hire escorts if that's all we wanted. Even the guys who go after one night stands would be left unsatisfied with a escort. Please be less discriminatory, it does you a disservice.
I like the idea.
Thing is, my sense of humor and personality is a lot like this style. It would actually motivate me to try harder with this girl who already has a similar personality to me.
Anyways, like Sinapse, I'm done here. This topic is old and tired. Reading these threads make me feel like I'm reading Jezebelle articles.
